MRT

Parked my car and walked to mrt and took train to Bugis.. Exit Bugis and seems so lost.. Too long no go public liao.. And its not cab.. Haha.. Listening to my music on psp and see pretty OLs everywhere.. So...fresh... The feelings.. I had to get used to public soon... =)

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broken wings

Wings with scars... Quite a lot of them... Shoulders with bruises, rocks are heavy... I'm so incomplete yet felt so enough for life..

Why do ppl strive for higher stats yet without that mindset, they are still nothing...? Gotta be rich in mind then can be real rich in status.. If given a million dollars, it will not save one but harm one... Give a man a fish, it will save him for a day. Give more save more days but not forever.. Learning to fish is the way to survive, not talking abt fishing.. Everyone knows how to talk..

Shld i jump into traps again? The wings are weak and might not be able to fly anymore thereafter.. Headaches sia.. Nabeiz..

There's no waiting list, only rejection list. Waiting to grow up is impossible. I'm not stupidly awaiting 10yrs.. =.= Wat the hell i'm toking abt.. =.="

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I may not know ur little movements, i may not know how to be ti tie to send u up to ur doorstep without fail, i may not know how to read ur mind without u saying so, i may not know how to open my car door for u, i may not know what u really like to eat and what u dun like to eat, but well becoz i'm not you.. Since i hated myself all along, i would not try to think of u as myself.. I would not go after u juz like how i would give up when i felt i got the chance.. I would rather run away than to even 'try'.. Ex-bitch hated that word 'try' when i said it.. Well, i never wanted to try anything.. Once decided, i would want it for eternity till impossible.. Side dishes aren't essential and i always dun want side dishes coz all along i knew that Starter & Main Course & Desert are all i needed. I dun need additional colours nor special toppings.. Haha.. I'm juz traditional. I'm sorry for not being myself.. I always believe in letting go.. One of them is married and blissfully living. Another is also married with next gen though 'cracked' but i still believe in her abandoning me for a good reason. The other is still single but well, i can feel the happiness in them. =) Running away is not a choice and everyone knows that running away is painful as well.. It's an option to learn to be stronger not to fall back..

Many asked me if i'm already attached.. Lolx.. Reality is cruelty. Virtuality is beautiful. What's fake and what's real? I myself do not know the answer and how am i gonna give an answer..? I only yearn for time. I may be juz a temp or she may be juz a temp.. Mere words and sound.. Karen Sia, what do u think i shld do...? You would be the only one in my life who would understand me the best in my current situation now...

So many things seems to be coming to my mind juz becoz time is little.. Lolx.. I'm such a bad boy all along... Regretting is not the way out but think for the future is the way out no matter what the future may brings.. One don't focus on the 'problems' to solve the problems but focus on the 'solutions' to solve the problems..

Watched 下一站，幸福 till ep 6.. Well, why her hairstyle so like her.. Eyes not so big only but also the demure type, shy type.. Nabeiz.. =.=" She really becoz of him and his condition then gave up..? That would mean i selfishly trying to 'own' her when everyone dissuade me to leave her then she cannot breathe and run away alone.. Even when talking to me is so damn strong and firm on the last day.. =.=" I would not forget her everything..

This "strong" little gal is still like a little gal.. She can hide so well and present herself always at her best no matter wat.. Though temper can be real short at times.. =.=" Well, no matter how strong she is.. A sudden sms from her "i broke off with him already.." and was like in the middle of the night.. Immediate action would be calling her.. Listen to her crying and complaining, with a little useless speeches from me..

Why i'm always like a pillar support for so many.. Haha.. Yet none is a suitable pillar support to me when i'm needy.. 'suitable' as in, i would really call/ask for it rather than avoiding one after another.. Maybe blog is my only pillar support.. Haha..

Accompany her till late almost like as if i belonged to her and allowed her to be like a morning glory and cling on to me as a support.. Then when attraction on the other side occurs, i would force down everything heartlessly, or almost heartlessly.. Well, i'm not needed anymore though still acting like a morning glory still needing and angry me for abandoning.. I dun really walk the path together for forever..

My nature is to back off when felt a little not really needed liao.. I said before, i'm like a stupid acting bf to whoever close to me. I can do stupid things that even friends can kpkb me and ask me why am i so good to another when she's not even my gf. The extra miles are personal and i'm not answerable to any of what i did or what i gonna do. That's my freedom so dun restrict it.. Birds do not like to be caged.

Wat if i were to say that i'm gonna book the air tix to bkk on the 8th Feb and coming back on the 11th Feb, going there juz to meet a FRIEND and i'm going ALONE, yes a gal friend juz a friend only, as her bday is on the 31st Jan while mine on the 27th Jan so i wanted to celebrate a belated with her. Well, already got one kpkb and pester me bring her go liao as she dun wan me to be owned nor wan me to go alone..

PS: This thai gal is not those two in the pic i taken in my FB. =.="

Almost everyday i'm on blackberry messenger with her.. Well, i dunno.. Juz like Rebecca's post of that article and my comment on her shoutbox.. Gals are to be protected not otherwise.. Naturally, instincts told me what to do..

HOWEVER, there are some disgusting pests. Looked so ugly and i'm fine with it but then still like want every piece of me. FUCK YOU. Juz like a gal seeing a guy and can read his mind "I juz wanna bed you". That's juz an example. Hello. =.="

"I feel like going genting for holiday..."
"Why not come bkk?"
"Why bkk when i got bday treat free hotel room for a day at genting? I go bkk stay ur place? haha.."
"Go hotel lah!"
"I also know... But i scared sleeping alone in a hotel.."
"I accompany u slp. ^^"

It's not the "accompanying" that makes me wanna go there.. =.=" It's her thoughts that attracted me to wanting to go.. Nabeiz i kept attracting and getting attracted to gals older than me.. =.=" I mean those slightly older lah not very much older de.. My max till 31 now and min till 25.. I'm not interested in "kids" though some are not lah.. Reality bites. =) Grow up and i can consider.. What do i want, what's my aim, what am i looking forward to, what i hate, what i enjoy the most.

Some can be like dumbfolded by the crazy things that i would do and things that i would not do.. I'm not easy to be read afterall.. It's a self-defence system.. Be true to me and u might not get the same answer.. Be fake to me and u will get an almost immediate answer. I might not be clever but i'm not stupid. I'm a bad guy not worth anything.. Unless i decided u are my everything..

Keith is a smart guy. =) But dun try to understand me too much or guessed me too much.. It's tough trying to act stupid and releasing confusion gas. =.="

I made myself confused what's real and what's fake.. Living in such new divide of life is torturous but reality is cruel. Matrix system had to be activated.. Complications.. But i dun care.. Coz afterall 'forever' lies in me, myself and i..

Xuehui used to insist that i'm her best friend. Well, impossible.. Dun decide things for me.. My 'best friend group' is the only group that we all been thru fun, sorrow, happiness, laughter, tears, loves, hates, and many many things that bond us together.. Multiple ways and not juz one-sided, most impt is naturally..

The rest is mainly i'm the one who is forking out and withdrew when i'm the one needing.. Even being showered with care, i would refrained and withdrawal occurs... I juz dun feel comfy with anyone else other than that group... Unless it's someone special and i decided on her then her burden would be so huge... Haha.. I would shamelessly juz fall and let go without withdrawing.. It's a two-way-traffic anyway.. If no trust in ur partner then no point le.. Juz like dancing, would u really go on and jump onto the person when he/she is supposed to catch u and break ur fall..?

Nevertheless, new home might be on the way already.. I can visualize it.. Looking forward to it.. Maybe no need to count the days anymore.. =) A broken home can be a great home too..

New Divide (Oh yeah! =D )

I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash as time began to blur
Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide

There was nothing in sight but memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes across this new divide

In every loss, in every lie, in every truth that you'd deny
And each regret and each goodbye was a mistake too great to hide
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide
Across this new divide, across this new divide

Stupid..

Really shld not have.. Pain pain pain.. Now listening to 我的回忆不是我的 while i type this entry. NABEIZ..

Juz finished my ep 11 of HPTX.. Super ouch.. Fark man.. The inability to get the actual answer or izzit it's already the actual answer..? A knot that forever left a secret, forever unable to reveal..

The memories.. The moments.. The joy and sorrow.. So, am i juz a life buoy or izzit becoz particular reason juz to protect me..? Again...? Not again...? For my own good...? Izzit really good to me.. Is that really what goddamn good i always wanted..?

Ever since that day i had forbid myself to recall, to think, to ponder for.. Ever since that drunken day.. Thot the other day at martin even though freaking drunk and my forbidden still strong enuff to stop it...? THEN WHAT THE FARK AM I FEELING INSIDE RIGHT NOW..?!

I always controlled myself not really post watever fark shit juz becoz there are ppl around who surely got influenced by my emotions.. I only wanna share fun things, happy moments, craps and stupid things.. But this time i really can't stop myself liao.. Beyond control.. Raining already.. Thot all had been begone..?

Trying hard to try harder but it juz doesn't seems to wanna go away.. Pain.. She did not left entirely... Unable to.. Or maybe i still dun wan her to leave juz yet without undoing that knot.. I can only drive past there, drive around where she stays.. Tried my chance to get her to come on the 26th... But seems failed miserably.. Total lost like in the wide ocean..........

I already dunno how to use life buoy.. I wanna struggle all this thru myself.. Even though i might get drown but doesn't matter.. Had drown so many times anyway... In fact i dread of care and concern.. So, please dun ask me wat's wrong.. It's not my type to go around telling ppl full details.. Even if asked, merely bits and pieces.. So wat's the point..

Damn my eyes are tired already.. Argh...

Nevermind, when i sign-out from here, i'll be back the mischievous and irritating Rick/Xing.. Anyway no friends had truly called me by my right name.. Coz this is what i wanted them to call me...

"我叫伟兴”
“哦，伟兴啊”
“你叫我伟星就好了”
“好啊，伟星。可是为设么不让我叫你伟兴呢？”
“习惯了，呵呵”
“小猪宝宝。我在我的电话簿改了！呵！ =P”

To face memories is so freaking difficult! NABEIZ! Shit lah.. Tml how to go work sia... haha.. hahaha... lolx.. rofl.. rofl.. lmao.. roflmao...

I shld not carry on that show.. Neither for the rest of any shows.. Neither for any gals.. Full focus on my game and work. Waste time waste water.

Omg i'm hungry.. And.. I felt like going ECP eat.. Alone of coz.. I wun allow the sober me in this state to be shown. Never.. If drunk then maybe bo bian lor.. HAHaha.h.ah..aa...ha..a.a.aa.

Sometimes not that i do not wanna go after another.. No point deceiving myself going for another.. Maybe i shld really stick on to my plan and order a wife sua lah.... 1yr and 2mths left liao.. Even though we are over but i'm still counting... Maybe this is my only timeline bah.. The only timeline that i really live for..

Dun feel like staying at home now.. Really feel like running out now but i'm so tired already.. Maybe tml nite bah.. Need some silence to relax... By the sea? Or by shall i by the cliff? Shld i bring our tent to the beach? Or behind vivo where the 1st affection occurs? I still yearn for that shy face... darn..

Tired liao.. Need rest le..

Drive..

Someone said i wun have the drive if i were to go somewhere familiar to work.. Well, the truth is i dun even have any drive for anything regardless where and when.. Can see and feel a few opportunities but i juz dun have the drive.. Lifeless.. Not in terms of finding gals or something.. I've got no interest in those.. Spare me..

Maybe monday meeting ex gf karen coz it's her bday. Tue meeting old close friend Celena. 18th meeting Estee as promised her to accompany her whole day since it's her bday. After 20th meeting huiying, been trying to get her to go out. Dawn as usual, on and off meeting her. Planning for a trip down to Celine's pub one fine night for a drink. Movie with Jocelin still pending as she claimed she's too busy with sch..

Like so many events and Desmond gonna say me happening, though i'm not as happening as him with SO MANY pretty XMMs around him meeting him. =x But then, i still feel lifeless, so empty and mindless...

Juz like today went bukit timah to take stock then when going back to wdl i took a long route via cashew road... The road i used to always take whenever i sent her home on my bike last time.. In fact, wanted to turn in into her block area somemore... This is so ouch... Till now her phone still can't get thru so i think she lost her phone or something then change number to a free in-coming post-paid instead of the one she using prepaid.. Bah.. I'm so full of her..

Dawn said me and kel same like her.. Feeling a bit of 'wen xing' will withdraw almost entirely.. Wrong leh.. In fact only me and kel is like that lor.. The fear of love-trap.. Coz we dunno how to hit-and-run? =.= Never crossed my mind..

Need to find back my soul.... Where are all my missing pieces???

Her..

When being asked, "Do u still have her photos?"

Well, yes... Even after shit happens i still kept those.. After all, those are juz memories.. =) That doesn't mean anything at all..

Drift and drift..

Cold and warm then warm and cold..

This doesn't mean anything.. I'm still me afterall and i'm not leaving no matter what happen.. Juz i will definitely draw line and be back myself.. When i intend to go shopping, i will still intend to go alone.. When i intend to go ktv, i still intend to go alone though i nv tried.. Mr bay got more experience in this.. Haha.. Well, i juz wish to be alone.. Afterall, i'm not "owned" by anyone and no one controls me. So if i dun feel like going out means no..

I'm not giving out my game for anyone. No way, man.. My virtual world is more impt than anything else except for work, i still need to eat.. lolx.. I'm not inviting jealousy or being biased.. =.= At least i feel certain ppl deserved a little better from me. It's not as if i din give in to whatever u feel like it.. U think i'm the best but that doesn't mean i'm the best coz i'm the one to decide what am i.

So if i regards her as my best friend then she will be my best friend. Not juz anyhow nia.. Xuehui used to keep pestering me to regard her as one juz becoz she felt something diff between me and my bff. Well, puppy eyes dun work when the heart matters.. Juz friends will do, i do not wish to demote somemore..

Some things when it's gone, it fade away gradually.. What a man chases in life, runs away. Even if it's a woman.. Haha..

The feeling of wanting to get drunk is back... But somehow, something is holding me back.. But i yearn for the feeling of crowded places with loud music when drunk.. The last was Sing Thai Disco... That was great but dangerous.. So dangerous but so great the feeling of drunk.. I'm sorry but not feeling of gals. Ya she's working that nite at there but nothing liao.. Never started, no need for ending.. Anyway, nothing actually happened.. =.=" This ironical phrase came to me suddenly and it's from an unexpected someone, "Sex, it either enhance the relationship or it worsen it." It's juz like "more than a handful is wasteful" then become "Nothing is perfect, Perfect is nothing." Wtf am i spouting? o.O I'm tired i guess..

A fruitful day

Wat a long day today.. Early morning went buy stocks then delivery to west coast then boss went lunch haven't sign cheque yet thus proceed to tua for another delivery then back again for cheque..

Report timely even got time to clean car a bit.. Lolx.. Dropped my nokia and now cannot "talk".. =.=

After work pick up dawn from vivo then go golden cafe to eat.. Headed to whale to support cindy a little.. Quite a normal place but why so many waitress sia..

Before sending dawn home, met up celine for a smoke.. Reached home ard 5.30am and realised i'm so damn hungry.. Maggied then now blog a little ba.. Haha.. Tired..

In fact, thought of sending celine home also as she work till 6am and no need to slp liao coz have to go work almost immediately... But she said she can handle.. Silly.. I working 4pm lor....

While at golden cafe seeing xiao ling from afar, her new style really made her look like her... Can't help kept looking at her while she talking to cust at outside... Sigh.. Missing piece.. Nothing but a memory..

Quite stun by cindy also.. Think she's a bit drunk liao..

So that's the place... Last time sassy bar... Memories.. Haiz.. So familiar yet so unfamiliar.. Mixed feelings..

Shit lah its the beer effect... Sorry it's not that i wanna emo de.. Today too much memories like adrenline rush.. Okok if u dun emo i will not emo ok.. =)

She's like last time karen, strive so hard becoz of a future.. =) I'm always a pillar support for independent.. I'm looking towards 2012 ok? A little break and i'll try to make it fulfilling to mark ur day ok? =)

Heard this song 我的回忆不是回忆。。。I think so bah.. Will try host it when i wakey.. =)

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

礼物

I damn like that song. Freak. So darn emo. Or rather it's more of comforting of giving up than emo-ing.. Somehow or rather, connected.. =.= ironic..

Has it started? Different views already?Dun think it's the paranormal effect.. Hmm.. Anyway, doesn't really matters anymore. New lease. Time to let go.. =) anyway, it's juz another footprint. Lolx

Shocked by her today.. =.= Despite that, the smile is there.. =) Not once but twice... Haha.. Looking forward to the day. If really take leave ah, i die die also will take even if its gonna be a wkend.. =D

Wings are no longer needed. Perhaps another direction bah.. Nabeiz this is so Aion. Lolx kinda addictive haha..

Sometimes telling the truth is so fake, telling the fake is so true.

Therefore,
The truth has to be fake.
The fake has to be true.


Ya, i love you. =)

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刘力扬 - 礼物

终于可以在今天划上句点

一整夜翻阅过去画面

快想不起我们为何会诀别

只看到那双你送的鞋

走一步又一步

我才发现绕了个圈

走了好几年

又回到原点

你送的礼物会不会太特别

毫不避讳那不安的传言

但渐行渐远习惯到没感觉

难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物在此刻好体贴

陪我回忆把过往走一遍

穿了这些年难免会有污点

就像每段爱总会有终点

世上最残酷的恐怕是时间

困住人一切却还向前

干涸的眼再挤不出一点咸

爱到如此可悲的境界

走一步又一步

却跟不上你的脚步

你满意了

为什么我却只想要哭

你送的礼物会不会太特别

毫不避讳那不安的传言

但渐行渐远习惯到没感觉

难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物在此刻好体贴

陪我回忆把过往走一遍

穿了这些年难免会有污点

就像每段爱总会有终点

你说做自己吧

我们都做回自己

不要再为爱受委屈

你送的礼物原来是一场劫

终于分别夙命一样准确

可笑到想要你赔给我时间

爱情有时廉价得可怜

光著脚我一路奔跑

鲜血泪水一路狂飙

收起我的骄傲

承认曾经备受煎熬

鞋上那记号

只有你能明了

过了这一夜

我就全忘掉

Simply love this song.. Juz dunno why.. Love means love, there's no why.. How the hell do i know why i love..

migraine

Early in the morning wanna go fetch dawn for work.. Woke up 9.30am and its mission impossible for her not to be late.. Hence, she "pronten" from work.. =.=

Today's sales sucky only managed to close 2 sets plus 1 external set.. =.= wan to jump liao like that..

Picked dawn up from boatquay then we went katojian for curry rice.. Thereafter, sent her back and we had a drink downstairs her place till abt 3am before i walked her upstairs.. Then i reached home around 3.30.. The pain doesn't go off.. Nabeiz... Head damn pain..

We can be as close as whoever can imagine but there's nothing between us juz like how i would with any gals.. =.= Juz like how i can fetch jocelyn up from rebel sent her home to woodlands and let her slp in my car till 5.30am and accompany her up to her doorsteps before heading home despite working morning..

In the meantime i juz do not wan anything to do with relationships. For i do not have the time for it.. Hands are like so full and schedules unpredictable... I can be like a part-time temp bf/fling to anyone juz to fill emptiness but not yet to fully commit.. And i'm not even a fling to anyone yet. Somehow or rather juz an acting bf feeling, or maybe i need some gf feelings sometimes..

Juz like how 2 person came back.. How warming though those are juz memories... Talking abt the past.. Sweet.. Yea but i'm not juz that capable to every..

I can be still be as close to u as before but u gotta know me.. I like the feeling of ppl knowing me without me telling yet hitting the "g-spot".. I'm cunning enuff to send so much fakes and yet if u able to catch the real me, the better i'm gonna treasure friendship.. And not always by assuming.. I may seems complicated but well in complications there bound to be truth.. Get to know a person is not by reading and seeing. It's the feel.. As if however good i'm treating my gals i'm not gonna treat u that way.. That's not true.. I care for every single soul even as a passerby. The amount is determine by that person not me. Actions, words, everything means something.. Not juz calling sweetie will means i'll have to go all out to treat u like a princess.. Gotta earn that credit and respect.. Well, tat's me.

Only her can still make me comfortable even after like so many yrs not much in contact... Even after marriage, we can be like so close. I feel i can tell her everything that can takes up to few yrs to finish talking.. I love to talk in nature but gals always love to talk more which always no chance to talk more.. Otherwise will be so many comments.. I juz need ppl to listen not comment or debate..

I'm tired liao.. More and more pain already my head..

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

PSPs

29 sets of PSP 2006. All ready and charged. =)

Another 4 sets being ordered by same client yest. =.= Rush like mad, racing with time. Haha..

Anyone got suggestions for xmas special and valentine special?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tiring yet fruitful night.

Reported work early so that i can go off early to settle my stuffs.. Early in the morning trying to get the season parking but failed coz i do not have the logcard for the car to prove i'm the owner, well, i'm not. =.=" It's under my aunt's, cheaper insurance.. Lolx.. So they charged me $140 for parking then offered me $90 for another place for parking. Damn far. =.=" Damn dulan so headed work immediately.

Bad day but luckily still managed to close 3 sets before i went off to serangoon. Do all the way till 1am then settle everything. =.=" Shag out.. Surprisingly they had trust in me. Though it's no big deal of goods worth close to $8k lah.. But, hell i'm amused. That makes me wanna contribute more and do my part better.

Tml will be a long day.. Need to settle for my bike then need to go bendemeer then maybe bugis. After that meeting partner to deliver the goods in my car as well as taking some stocks from bukit batok and fortune then have to put the new goods back to my partner's house. Kelvin jio at night go Lavender siam diu, to see my ex thai gal. Well, i dun really interested to see. lolx.. Arbo long ago when i learnt she's back i would have chiong go see her liao.. Aiyo business more impt lah.. =.="

Thus, lately i kept discriminating love and r/s. Knn waste time and money only. It's not the time yet to say much now coz i'm not yet officially in the listing but a few of my colleagues and friends already knew. Everything starts from small. No way for one foot up heaven. Therefore, when jessie ask me to go ngee an work, i'm unwillingly so. 1st, it's not becoz of anyone. 2nd, hp/compaq no longer a 'house brand' for this giant company. 3rd, pay is miserable and i only use it to cover my monthly stuffs. My perspective goal is not that small even if to give me a SUPER A STORE i also dun need. Will only make me busy nia. Not as if they gonna give me $5k for that. $5k comm would mean at least $500k worth of sales and i'm like getting 1%. =.=" I'm aiming $250k for my company, at least i can see the fruits for even better prospect in expanding even more till auto-run. That's the ultimate goal for the 4 of us.

Anyway, reveal a bit lah not as if i would jeopadise my job. Anyone who's looking for games and/or consoles can look for me. Even blackberry high capacity batteries at great price compared to a regular batt sold in store. We've got 2500mAH. Light-weight somemore. =.=" Made in USA and warranty still stands officially by us. Games and consoles prices may be steep but FREE delivery to doorstep. We accept COD & paypal. Already got alot of pre-orders for the two hottest titles, Dragon Age & L4D2. This mth sales damn good.. Lolx. And would be pretty busy out of my working hours.. For more info, www.dexcube.com or on pricing and availabilty can email/text/msn/call me direct. My GM got the pricing listing direct from distributors. More services coming in also in the coming year. National Library sat event starting on 14th Nov, we are one of the co-partners. =) Next year, many interesting events upcoming also. Sneak hint, the 'new' building beside cineleisure, we might be involve as well. Exciting events..

Heard of a bad news as well.. My friend from sim lim square juz passed away.. If u guys read the news, Newlywed groom found dead at hotel driveway.. Jackie, big boss and co-founder of his company, Renova.. Sad.. The company is big and well-known. Boss is happily married. Tragedy happened.. Unexpectedly.. Sad...

Today was on msn with karen almost the whole day thru-out work.. She's my ex gf when we are in poly till i enlisted in army.. We really chat like bosom friends.. Abt her bf, her ex bf, my ex gf, our work, our trips, etc. She's so fave of aussie and her ex is aussie, sydney i believe or maybe brisbane. She din mentioned. Anyway, she love travelling.. Been to so many of the European countries.. >.< Greece, Italy, Australia, etc. Many many more untold.. But i've been to Melbourne and she's not, only to Sydney, Brisbane and Gold Coast.. =.=" Then she actually mentioned that i'm sweet.. Lolx.. Juz becoz i helping her ex bf to look for a multimedia harddisk player. Lolx.. She mentioned twice not one, on two occasions. =.=" Then she want me to promise her that i will NEVER go back to my ex even though she were to come back to me.. Well, sweetie. Among so many so many gals, u are the 2nd longest known gal who is close to me and it's kinda sad that u do not know that i will never turn my head to eat the grass behind me.. Even if i were to bite my lips to bleed and walk away in pain, i would never return.. So, don't worry ya? =)

Weihong seems weird juz now on msn.. =.=" He's been T-ing me up when i'm juz nothing really.. Bro, i'm juz like you and in fact far worst. I'm on downhill, at least u are on even ground.. My mindset is not what i wanted but is what i desired. Career and future are to work smart for, not work hard for.. Some things can never be taught, can only be influenced. Like how i always pull ppl up by infuencing and not teaching.. Give a man a fish and he lives for a day, teach a man to fish and he can live much longer even till old..

If ppl around u are gamblers, u might go into gambling.
If ppl around u are slackers, u might go into slacking.
If ppl around u are rich, u might go into building wealth.
If ppl around u are playful, u might go into childish.

Fit in and blend into the right environment, let environment influence u to become better. However, really 'strong' ppl would change themselves to adapt to the environment and make full use of the environment to their own advantages. Juz like "So what i siam all the netbooks and nab all the nabsters? I still have the last laugh despite ppl behind scolding LaSap." Wah i realised i machiam toking abt myself... LOLX! Well fark, his pay is way FEW TIMES higher than mine. Though he still got nothing but he is still strong. Got the resource and system to make that money so why not. Juz like 1427 worth $70, i will also chiong like mad till everyone is a foe. Juz like if A600 worth $100, i will also do that. My company sux and they will never release such incentives. Cheapo. Even Gateway can earn more.

So how is ngee an better than cwp? =.=" Even vivo. So what sia. Still peanuts to me. Lolx.. I rather have great friends and colleagues, and earn my survivable pay. Afterall, one year odd liao.. When i focus, rarely i would divert..

How the hell she knows abt lullaby? Nabeiz.. I dun rmb mentioning it here lor.. Even if i did, that was eons ago. =.=" So not only she does read my blog, she read my facebook as well! Think she got my account.. Surprisingly, she does login FB when she dun have a FB acc. =.=" Points are hard to redemn.. Try harder.. I'm allergic to players. =)

Don't 'fall down', i will not entertain much.. If u gonna be opposite my block drinking beer alone emo-ing and wan me to cross over to accompany u, high chances i will not go.. Not everyone got the ability to get me spread my wings.. Unfortunately, yes i'm that eccentric.. Gan x2 doesn't work on me. Lolx..

When i'm with loose gals, ppl feel gao wei.
When i'm with attached/married gals, ppl feel i'm foul.
When i'm alone, ppl wants me to get hitched.

So if i wanna hit-and-run, ppl comment.
So if i wanna hit-and-dun-run, ppl comment.
So if i wanna dun-hit-and-run, ppl coment.
So if i wanna dun-hit-and-dun-run, ppl comment.

Come on, i know u ppl do care coz i'm a friend.. But please in an aggressive mode lah. So ppl think that i cannot go vivo juz becoz someone else would distract me, so be it. But i will stand firm that i dun wanna leave cwp. My mind ain't made up of love. Wtf. Can i juz get married next yr with an ordered bride juz to put at home so that everyone shut up? o.O Get to know a person by learning and asking. Not assuming and criticizing and sarcastic. I dun hold grudges so dun make me do. Juz like what desmond says. Friends nia mah, one gone another will come. The cycle goes on. Maybe i shld reorganise my "best friends" listings in my msn though in real life i only got two guys and a gal.. Yes a gal, named jasmine. Now, below 25 all out. =.=" At most is "close", wun be "best"..

Tired.. Maybe becoz tired lately thus spout so much nonsense. =.=" Blog is not me and i'm not a blog, i wun let anyone read me like a book. If u think u know me, think again. Agree, Manster? =)

BQ

Another day at BQ despite no one really wish to drink.. At least now cfm got 2 known stalkers. =.= One stalk blog, one stalk fb. Lolx..

I know there are silencers out there too.. "the one" i used to mention long time ago, also one of it.. =) But too bad, forever unable to reveal this 'scandal' or rather 'mysterious' since there's really nothing going on between us.. Juz like how close i am to all my gals like cel, jessie, dawn, xuehui, jasmine, huiwen, connie, etc etc. Too many to mention all..

I mean, no matter how close i am to anyone, i always get frustrated when ppl trying to fix an 'item'. =.=

The more u know a person, the more u wun accept her.. O.o No? But u will love her when u can see her flaws as nothing. =.=

When i'm in a r/s, ppl ask me to break up. When i'm not in a r/s, ppl ask me to like machiam accept anything around me. Wat's the world becoming to?

I'm stubborn, when i'm in, i'm in. When i'm out, i'm out. I had said a million times that i would never get dawn to be the one. Never. So what, hold hands? Yes we did ever before. So what, kiss before or rather LC? Yes. So what, hug before? Yes ever. So what, slept before? Hell NO! Fark. I'm not a freaking gigglo. Wah every thai/viet i ever did any of the above will be gf? Then wun i be super busy sia. LOLX!

Wings refer to any gals, in general. Gals are meant to be protected, aren't they? Or to be played with? Like toys?

So, when i protect and u kept inviting troubles then watever for am i doing this? Snap and release, fell and burnt. End of story. If u can find another, go ahead and dun waste my time. I only have a pair, of hands. Even birds have a limit to how long they can fly..

Cold? Not really.. Need to breathe a bit.. By all means and be as secretive as u can, i'll pull out not pull back.

Since meet and can be so busy then ok lor, i need not be around at all. Becoz i say so. I beg to differ from ur thinking. Coz i can feel 'starhub' and when with me others no need to feel 'starhub'. That's splendid. Thanks.

Minus points always by 10%.
Increase points always by 1%.

There's nothing such as negative, 0 means zero.

Fark the love thingy. It's irritating. And ppl irritates me with their broken love life. Nabeiz. Nothing but spelt troubles.


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Weird..

I'm sure she's fine le.. I only scared no news coz there's no means in any forms of communications.. But from her blog i can see her updates in her board.. Juz that she's still back there haven't come back sg..

Think there isn't a need to let her know of my callings bah even though she's back.. Well, i dunno when back coz i had stopped calling long time ago ever since i saw her pics updates.. =)

Today again i ventured there unknowingly.. Haha.. Love is blind indeed.. No idea why i did that also.. Well, its dead already.. Felt nothing.. If now she were to ask me the same qn as at east coast whether would i accept my ex back, the ans will be a direct no in an instant. Haha..

Finally clubbed at Rebel last sat.. Wasn't really in the mood coz i had to drive.. Nabei.. Never liked drink driving.. And being controlled. Freak. Even my sis is there and reduced me to one glass of vodka... Foul leh..

Wkend jasmine going St James, Jocelyn also.. =.= Wondering.. Haha.. Not really aiming but kinda yearning for clubbings.. So long no freaking long queues that let me sweat before going in can liao. I hate that, that's y i ban zouk.. Dbl-o still okay.. Coz there are memories there, or rather devil's bar or newsroom.. Haha...

Clubbing is fun. Dun mentioned the "being grinded" lah.. That's unexpectedly unusual encounter.. =.= Surprised, hell yes i am.

Tml meeting, and i think i would be going back to work bah.. Damn i can't let my sales go down somemore.. Sometimes it's not becoz i'm weak in doing sales or lazy.. Sat and sun i'm extremely tired, despite that i'm so damn aggressive..

Coz i cannot concentrate well bah thus i use focus.. =.= If serve more than 10min i will be darn shagout so close fast and spot fast bah...

So tiring everyday.. Losing more and more points day after day.. I guess i do mind afterall but i would still doing my best to suppress bah.. New directions to fake away.. Need more of those.. But hell, i'm so surprised that the eye contact is so comforting.. And i 'dare' to look into her eyes.. Nabei..

Afterall i'm a shy guy leh.. I would only do that to my customers due to professionalism.. =.= Mainly gals around me i wun do that.. Another gal would be that one in whiskey last time, a customer that is..

When it starts kicking, i think will gonna be a better time manager bah.. If not then i'm not gonna be up to it bah.. Haiz.. Sacrifices are a must when it comes to biz.. Haiz.. Money more impt..

Nabeiz she still dun wanna wakey.. Ya still in my car boringly blogging. Tired, yes i am.. Haiz.. Some ppl finds it a sore eye when i'm being this good to certain ppl when i'm not like aftering or asking for something in return like bedding. o.O Ya i'm stupid, show me the light like DTB? Wtf =.=

Duh.. Its a guys world. =.= Mindset all similar bah.. Except for a few i known would be like me myself and i.. Haha.. Hard to find such though..


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O.o

It's how amazing u can score points from an impossible 3-pointer. =.= And i never even say anything neither hint, and u 'chop'. In it goes. =.="

How do i let go? I mean i'm juz tired.. Forgotten how to emo, how to enjoy, how to happy, how to sad. Numbness got me. "emotionless" she said. That's bad, utter suffering..

Staying focus is wat i wanted now... Not in my job, not in love, not in family. Well then, guess it already..? Sometimes its not i dun share but no point to.. It will not affect others so why not bottled it up? This way, no one else will get infectious by the troubled virus.. Anyway i dun need help nor do i seek help.. So be it..

I never needed love, juz maybe there's someone there beside. Dun even have to talk, dun even have to touch me.. Serenity is wat i love best. At somewhere quiet all by myself or maybe with another, enjoy the quietness and calmness when midnight falls..

All i need is simplicity though i shown complications to confuse and yet acting blur like a bloody bastard.

Yet to find that feeling back..


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o.O

Nabei the feeling of feel like getting drunk is back again.. ccb.. So pissed with this feel coz it juz came out of the blue knn.. No emo-ing somemore can get this urge to get drunk. Nabeiz..

Juz came back from malaysia with dawn and weihong. He 1st time eating lok lok and like so happy and fascinated like that.. Juz like leon that time.. -.-" Well, i'm not worried abt this guy DTB thus i can trust him. In fact not only i dun trust gals, i dun trust guys as well.. But somehow or rather, i feel i can trust him. =.=" But die die i wun trust that dawn.

A week before i mentioned i would take thurs off then can go sentosa with her and juz now she's happily arranging for programmes on thurs. "silence".. Well, i shall meet up dessy then...

Too many situations too many points lost will deteriorate the in-between... Well, points are easy to lose but hard to gain..

That night at the chalet was msn-ing celine for few hrs i think.. Then mentioned that despite she slept for only 2 hrs and still wanna go chalet with me.. =.=" Juz wanna find things to do and stick to me only.. And she said, "That's so sweet of her.." Well, that do shaken a little.. Nabeiz... Heng i did not fall down right in sia.. =.= Despite me saying i will not accept any sg, that's afterall juz a strong front.. Nabeiz.. Nabeiz.. Nabeiz.. No matter what i will find one hundred and one reasons to suppress that! Though she always tickle by saying it only needs one reason to... Nabeiz. No way.

Stopped all the unnecessary words and actions, or rather i can only lessen.. I dun wanna invite unwanted stupid things. All i wan is only for the plan to be executed and worked.. That's my main source of life not love. Fark, like hell i would die without it. But i juz dun understand majority would die for it. Thus, i shall get married soon.. LOLX ironic..? Not really, coz i juz need one to buy a flat. =.=" The government says so.

"Sg gals are so material. Wan more money, wan be taitai, dun wan simple life, dun wan get married, dun wan babies."

Well, many foreigners would comply otherwise. Now i know why so many guys go outsource.. It isn't a bad thing afterall..

New lease

Shocking news from rebecca. =.=" She said everyone also know and she's the last to know, then if she's the last then i will be the last last. =.=" Lolx.. Jokes aside on that day, dun take it seriously ah, manster. =x

Late night went over to kovan to meet up the guys and chat all the way till almost 2am.. =.=" In fact, it's very brief and overall of everything.. The plans, the kicks-in, the resolutions, the problems, the activities, the foreseen upcomings, etc..

Things gonna get busy... The passion is on, the blood is boiling like an adrenline rush.. I hope i'm not too positive till they are scared of me.. =.=" When one objective is clear, one will work towards the objective no matter what are the hurdles ahead. Slacking off is not a question, i'm only scared nothing to do.. I dun mind everything caught me till i got not enuff slp every now and then or till my both hands are so full.. I only scared i got nothing to do.. All i'm left is time and time is not enuff, it's short.. If wanna strive, i wanna strive high. Arbo pull down. I dun like to waste time and effort doing fruitless thing. Believe in it and strike. Now or never, we had all came halfway of lifetime.

A lot of brain cells burnt.. Scared gonna no time to do my own things and for friends.. But if fruits are what i wanted, sacrifices are must-do. I love gaming, i give up. I love pool and drink, i give up. I love relaxing, i give up. Mind must be in a state 24/7 thinking how to get the 200 grands. Nabeiz.. Even if the rest hack care and nua, i would also wanna carry on and head to that goal..

Quote from her again..

"To love someone who will never love you back is like trying to get a perfect score in a non-recorded exam."

Nabeiz... Isn't it like u would live in fairytale and live happily ever after..? =.="


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