Juz came back from a fast one at nana then go coffeeshop and let them enjoy the western food near my place at S11.. Actually that place i only tried the chicken chop and pork chop both also very nice.. But today they ordered sirlion and cutlet. No idea how is it for them..
Tml richard's bday think gonna go boat quay and pia beer again.. At least that's better than pia 3 martell... =.= Anyway, fingers crossed. Heard from richard today that meijun got 'loot' by weihao before de. A bit sian on that. lolx.. Maybe i shld start getting more open-minded. lolx.. Anyway, now wat century liao.. Unlike before lah..
Heard abt Taiwan trip juz now and i can freely say i can go. Gana disturb also dunno.. lolx.. To be frank, i dun mind going to taiwan, i mean especially taiwan coz it's been a long time since i last yearn to go there.. So even though were to go alone i will still wanna go.. =D
I got discuss with my colleague with overseas trip.. Mentioned that if i were to go overseas, i will not be booking a hotel before going there.. So that no matter where i wanted to go, when it comes to late nite, juz find any place to lodge.. Rather than chiong go back to the hotel.. So troublesome.. Haha...
okok enuff talk of holidays.. Make me wanna run away liao.. Lolx.. When tok abt taiwan i'm so excited.. lolx.. Wei wei.. My mind is clean one hor.. =.=" Juz wanna go there shopping and walk walk and see see nia.. Haha.. Relax only... I really need to relax my body, my mind and my soul..
02 November, 2008
31 October, 2008
Slacker..
Slack at home whole day on my off day.. Mind in a blank not wanting to go anywhere nor wanting to meet anyone.. Coz i'm juz being lazy.. Nua leh.. Yes i'm quite nua.. But no one knows it's my off day lah so no dates lor..
Wanted to go see 2a bikes de.. Lazy leh. lolx.. Though i really like sportsbikes, i guess i will still go for cruiser.. Get sporty and dun chiong seems like a waste of money.. Then if chiong, will put life at stake.. Siao meh.. If it's car, i will really consider racing lor.. Dun let me get the Integra.. Roar!
Even though i'm attached i'm as good as unattached coz i'm not the kind who will go around telling ppl i'm attached.. But when asked, i will not hide the truth.. Most impt is not love but life.. Living to enjoy life not love coz love is part of life. Everything starts with 'me'. If without 'me', there's nothing else are impt. If 'me' dun wan anything, u give me everything also pointless.. Juz being random.. lolx..
I guess Matt is rather upset as well as disappointed but wat to do? That's life and that's reality.. Reality is cruel and it's the fact that doesn't change forever.. Even if his goal is the same as mine, there's no way i can let him happy.. Coz this is not something to be given even to friends.. Unless both parties are willing parties then of coz i will let go.. Juz like that incident few yrs back.. Even though both of us are willing parties but we are not meant to be that's why that guy able to marry her.. If it's not becoz of the circumstances, there's no way i will let him win me. It's total nonsense that he had won.. But anyway, that's history.
Reality is really cruel.. If not why when we are born, we have to cry.. I believe when i die, i will smile.. Juz like many of my love ones leaving one after another.. Yeah this is my life's inevitable events.. There's no turning back but to walk on.
Found Marilyn in my friendster!! =D But i too shy to hit on her leh.. ZzzZzzZzzZzz.. Sigh.. Looking forward to the next meeting bah.. Can only see see from faraway. Sad.. I mean i juz wan her as friend lah. What u all thinking?!?! $&#$%&$%^&*% Seems like she's attached.. Good.. No wonder i'm attracted.. Lolx..
Yest rain is really cold.. Very cold.. Plus those words ringing.. Does all good things eventually will comes to an end..?
Wanted to go see 2a bikes de.. Lazy leh. lolx.. Though i really like sportsbikes, i guess i will still go for cruiser.. Get sporty and dun chiong seems like a waste of money.. Then if chiong, will put life at stake.. Siao meh.. If it's car, i will really consider racing lor.. Dun let me get the Integra.. Roar!
Even though i'm attached i'm as good as unattached coz i'm not the kind who will go around telling ppl i'm attached.. But when asked, i will not hide the truth.. Most impt is not love but life.. Living to enjoy life not love coz love is part of life. Everything starts with 'me'. If without 'me', there's nothing else are impt. If 'me' dun wan anything, u give me everything also pointless.. Juz being random.. lolx..
I guess Matt is rather upset as well as disappointed but wat to do? That's life and that's reality.. Reality is cruel and it's the fact that doesn't change forever.. Even if his goal is the same as mine, there's no way i can let him happy.. Coz this is not something to be given even to friends.. Unless both parties are willing parties then of coz i will let go.. Juz like that incident few yrs back.. Even though both of us are willing parties but we are not meant to be that's why that guy able to marry her.. If it's not becoz of the circumstances, there's no way i will let him win me. It's total nonsense that he had won.. But anyway, that's history.
Reality is really cruel.. If not why when we are born, we have to cry.. I believe when i die, i will smile.. Juz like many of my love ones leaving one after another.. Yeah this is my life's inevitable events.. There's no turning back but to walk on.
Found Marilyn in my friendster!! =D But i too shy to hit on her leh.. ZzzZzzZzzZzz.. Sigh.. Looking forward to the next meeting bah.. Can only see see from faraway. Sad.. I mean i juz wan her as friend lah. What u all thinking?!?! $&#$%&$%^&*% Seems like she's attached.. Good.. No wonder i'm attracted.. Lolx..
Yest rain is really cold.. Very cold.. Plus those words ringing.. Does all good things eventually will comes to an end..?
30 October, 2008
NaNa~~
Juz back from nana juz opposite my house with a little drenched due to the heavy rain despite the shelter.. =.=" Tequila and Martell.. Omg.. How i hate the teq smell.. Reminds me of that time at chalet with a broken heart and total goner from massive teq pops.. And then puke like nobody business.. And the smell of after puking is totally yucky..
The day before was with richard and steven and desmond and chua at BQ.. Went Millions with a barrel then to whiskey bar with a martell and 13 jugs of beer.. =.=" All beer craze.. zzzzz.. It was desmond bday and he was almost a goner.. At the very end, instead of sending him to his grave, i was disturbing him by asking him to 'da' lime juice.. Half half of coz.. Then richard came in for revenge by holding a jug of beer and said half half to me.. I was like knn i'm trying to get him to be sober and someone else wants me drunk. In fit of anger i challenged him to a jug of pure coke and we ended up in a huge quarrel.. The two cute waitress even got scolded by me for being slow in getting the coke.. I was really outta control that i vent my anger.. But both ended up ok in the end and i still managed to ride home.. =.=" Sunday still got one massive de by richard coz it's his bday.. wtf.. die die die..
Been drinking so much this mth.. Haiz.. So bad for health.. Think i should do something more healthy.. Maybe i shld join cel in her california fitness.. lolx..
Anyway, class 2A coming soon in less than a mth.. Guess when i pass it, high chance that i will trade up my TZM for a Superfour spec 1.. No point for spec 3 if i really intend to get picanto.. Vios seems a bit too big and dun really feel comfortable with it if i'm driving it.. But hey my TZM wasn't small for a 2B bike.. =.=" Think will be taking both together when the time comes..
To let go or to hold on, it's a tough choice for both.. She knows that i dun easily find a gal even though i can be that shui bian and can kiss her on the dancefloor at dbl-o that time.. Even though we are juz friends.. In fact, simply dunno why i feel i can trust her for now though at times my mind still went wild.. I really dun like a partner with nite life.. 1 is enuff and the history repeats.. Damn.. Hope she can juz leave her aunt's shop and finds her own..
Still rmb that the 1st time the two of us are alone in a room and nothing goes wrong.. We did not 'zuo cuo shi'.. We got so conservative meh..? I mean, i can be shui bian but not fan jian lor.. Somemore that time we both have had sake(jap beer) in us.. Jiu hui luan xing, but it's all up to individual lor..
The future is cloudy and i will leave it to fate.. Coz i did promised her that i will never do her wrong. When it's time to let go, will let go. This is an agreement we had for both as a commitment.. I'm sure she's more afraid of me doing wrong then she herself do wrong.. Coz i'm a guy and i dun really lose out.. She dun squander on me either.. Compared to several FTs that i had seen, she's still among the best.. At least non materialistic. Though at times i still will anyhow think.. Afterall i'm a human lor.. Blood and flesh lor.. Got feelings de lor..
My fave is not MICs but this one is a special case.. Unlike those in clubs and pubs, so complicated and in fact realistic plus materialistic. At least that's wat i've seen.. So many dancers at nana today and many had the looks plus great bodies.. But i dun feel 'clean' with any of those.. Frankly, to choose them, i rather go home slp, alone. Be it thai, MICs or sg.. I mean those that i do not know at all..
Got to know another called Stacey from Martin at Boatquay.. It's a pub named Martin.. Not very nice looking plus no figure but she can sing close to my ears by tilting her head towards me.. Though not splendid but ok lah, i'm very shui bian de.. A little warm will open me up.. Any gals can easily get close to me.. But none seems to really understands me.. Maybe the sign of water is really hard to catch.. But i'm a pure Aquarius.. It's juz me, myself and i..
The day before was with richard and steven and desmond and chua at BQ.. Went Millions with a barrel then to whiskey bar with a martell and 13 jugs of beer.. =.=" All beer craze.. zzzzz.. It was desmond bday and he was almost a goner.. At the very end, instead of sending him to his grave, i was disturbing him by asking him to 'da' lime juice.. Half half of coz.. Then richard came in for revenge by holding a jug of beer and said half half to me.. I was like knn i'm trying to get him to be sober and someone else wants me drunk. In fit of anger i challenged him to a jug of pure coke and we ended up in a huge quarrel.. The two cute waitress even got scolded by me for being slow in getting the coke.. I was really outta control that i vent my anger.. But both ended up ok in the end and i still managed to ride home.. =.=" Sunday still got one massive de by richard coz it's his bday.. wtf.. die die die..
Been drinking so much this mth.. Haiz.. So bad for health.. Think i should do something more healthy.. Maybe i shld join cel in her california fitness.. lolx..
Anyway, class 2A coming soon in less than a mth.. Guess when i pass it, high chance that i will trade up my TZM for a Superfour spec 1.. No point for spec 3 if i really intend to get picanto.. Vios seems a bit too big and dun really feel comfortable with it if i'm driving it.. But hey my TZM wasn't small for a 2B bike.. =.=" Think will be taking both together when the time comes..
To let go or to hold on, it's a tough choice for both.. She knows that i dun easily find a gal even though i can be that shui bian and can kiss her on the dancefloor at dbl-o that time.. Even though we are juz friends.. In fact, simply dunno why i feel i can trust her for now though at times my mind still went wild.. I really dun like a partner with nite life.. 1 is enuff and the history repeats.. Damn.. Hope she can juz leave her aunt's shop and finds her own..
Still rmb that the 1st time the two of us are alone in a room and nothing goes wrong.. We did not 'zuo cuo shi'.. We got so conservative meh..? I mean, i can be shui bian but not fan jian lor.. Somemore that time we both have had sake(jap beer) in us.. Jiu hui luan xing, but it's all up to individual lor..
The future is cloudy and i will leave it to fate.. Coz i did promised her that i will never do her wrong. When it's time to let go, will let go. This is an agreement we had for both as a commitment.. I'm sure she's more afraid of me doing wrong then she herself do wrong.. Coz i'm a guy and i dun really lose out.. She dun squander on me either.. Compared to several FTs that i had seen, she's still among the best.. At least non materialistic. Though at times i still will anyhow think.. Afterall i'm a human lor.. Blood and flesh lor.. Got feelings de lor..
My fave is not MICs but this one is a special case.. Unlike those in clubs and pubs, so complicated and in fact realistic plus materialistic. At least that's wat i've seen.. So many dancers at nana today and many had the looks plus great bodies.. But i dun feel 'clean' with any of those.. Frankly, to choose them, i rather go home slp, alone. Be it thai, MICs or sg.. I mean those that i do not know at all..
Got to know another called Stacey from Martin at Boatquay.. It's a pub named Martin.. Not very nice looking plus no figure but she can sing close to my ears by tilting her head towards me.. Though not splendid but ok lah, i'm very shui bian de.. A little warm will open me up.. Any gals can easily get close to me.. But none seems to really understands me.. Maybe the sign of water is really hard to catch.. But i'm a pure Aquarius.. It's juz me, myself and i..
28 October, 2008
Hiya
Lolx i think i really becoming a Nemo.. =.=" Adam 1st time call me that when i entered courts then now become everyone also call me that lol.... Nemo is a protected fish, for ppl to view not meant for eating... What it does is swim here swim there... Lolx..... Lame...
Think this mth will hit target i guess.. It's all about luck.. If this outlet really good then why Dave left? If this outlet no good then why Steven stays so long? Haiz.. Furthermore, the more the earnings, the more outgoing also..
That day when coming down from food court, a fat promotor suddenly say hi to me, scareded me a while.. I mean i'm here for almost 3mths liao then wats with the sudden? Then the samsung and epson also getting more friendly.. =.=" This is bad.. This doesn't really mean anything lah, juz that i dun need such things.. I only want sales or rather only her have more time with me.. The rest not really impt..
In fact coming to finding a partner, i'm really very anything de.. Haha.. But maybe too anything also no good lah.. Coz everytime when not intending to find another, more roads open up.. When really finding one keenly, none open up.. I'm always more attracted to same size as me de gals.. But dunno why always got attached to bigger size than me de.. Lolx.. Not really a bad thing bah.. Like means like, there's no why.. Though always easily shaken, also easily satisfied if u know how to go about it lah..
Actually i'm really feeling sad.. Juz quite empty.. Hollowness.. That's why when someone put in something, it can feel quite something.. Something warming.. But i'm yet to commit something wrong.. Haiz..
Jinlun came back from Sweden liao.. Last week went makan with the guys then mentioned on going on prawning.. Heard many times on prawning but never went once.. Haha.. So near my workplace and so near YX's home.. Maybe one fine day will go with the guys bah.. lolx..
Think this mth will hit target i guess.. It's all about luck.. If this outlet really good then why Dave left? If this outlet no good then why Steven stays so long? Haiz.. Furthermore, the more the earnings, the more outgoing also..
That day when coming down from food court, a fat promotor suddenly say hi to me, scareded me a while.. I mean i'm here for almost 3mths liao then wats with the sudden? Then the samsung and epson also getting more friendly.. =.=" This is bad.. This doesn't really mean anything lah, juz that i dun need such things.. I only want sales or rather only her have more time with me.. The rest not really impt..
In fact coming to finding a partner, i'm really very anything de.. Haha.. But maybe too anything also no good lah.. Coz everytime when not intending to find another, more roads open up.. When really finding one keenly, none open up.. I'm always more attracted to same size as me de gals.. But dunno why always got attached to bigger size than me de.. Lolx.. Not really a bad thing bah.. Like means like, there's no why.. Though always easily shaken, also easily satisfied if u know how to go about it lah..
Actually i'm really feeling sad.. Juz quite empty.. Hollowness.. That's why when someone put in something, it can feel quite something.. Something warming.. But i'm yet to commit something wrong.. Haiz..
Jinlun came back from Sweden liao.. Last week went makan with the guys then mentioned on going on prawning.. Heard many times on prawning but never went once.. Haha.. So near my workplace and so near YX's home.. Maybe one fine day will go with the guys bah.. lolx..
23 October, 2008
Shag...
Finally met up liao but that din mark my day. Things din go as expected.. So near yet so far.. Things are planned swee swee but always din go the way.. Maybe, it really takes two hands to clap.. Too much of myself i guess..
When they are talking outside, i yearn to learn wat's the topic.. Instead of going out to hear, i simply drink drank drunk and act bochap.. Juz carry on drinking my martell and beer, pretending i din see anything and appeared i din see anything.. Purposely down so many glasses of mixture till so high.. Did i not trust him and her? Or i really did trust him and her? To be frank, everyone seems like strangers to me.. I felt so alone that i put my walls up high.. Defending, trying to hold back everything and stuff myself in a bottle.. Celly always said dun do that coz one day i might juz broke down and malfunction.. Well, maybe that's me myself and i...
I juz felt helpless and something words do get stucked in the throat.. Communication is the key but i do not have the key..
Dawn told me to stay strong and have faith.. Juz like how she did and is doing.. Never to give up so easily despite the hollowness, emptiness and faithless.. Walls are still being built though but not let go.. Some says holding on is strong, maybe it's juz letting go. Bullshit, she says.. Contradicting leh..
To focus on work, so many stress and politics... So tiring..
To focus on home, so many problems.. So tiring..
To focus on friends, so many fakes.. So tiring..
To focus on love, so many questions and doubts.. So tiring..
I no longer knowing what to do or what i should do.. Feeling like backpacking and go taiwan alone.. At least there is safe lah, not that i dun wanna go elsewhere.. Simply running away for awhile where no one knows me, no one finds me, no one contacts me..
I cut my hair till super short again.. It's always when something happens then i would do that.. But anyway, short is better lah.. Coz at least after using my helmet, hair not so messy.. Maybe i shld maintain it this way..
Yesterday was a flop day.. Went to Millions and open a bottle worth $188 while waiting for Jason, Brandon, Jo, Jess, Alicia, Richard, Desmond and Steven. Alicia came 1st then Brandon and Jo. When Desmond came, ordered a barrel for them.. Smoking with Alicia and brandon outside then jess came. After that Jason came and awhile later Richard came.. Steven came last and he din recognised me when i'm smoking outside.. haha.. After the gathering and massive drinking and mix here and there plus a little lousy pool, i see Alicia to the cab then took a stroll to Nana and meet up with the rest. Kelvin Toh is there waiting for us.. Thai disco is not a place for me afterall... Though music is ok lah.. The place is so familiar to me that brings back memories.. Yeah, Devil's Bar memories.. Not memories of Alicia though but the bunch of gals.. Not only the bunch but also with Erica and Celly and one more gal but i forgot the name..
The future is not important to me anymore and i dun wanna care anymore as well.. Live and let live. Can only take a step and see a step..
We had always tried to match the two up and that guy always mess things up.. Too many points to minus liao.. When he sees a rival, immediately withdraw bit by bit.. I did told him that luckily i'm not his rival, if not i will be an even stronger rival.. Having said that, his friend really thought that i wanna snatch the gal away from them.. Coz she saw me being quite close to that gal at Chamber 82.. I told him off that day. He can talk so freely to his lady friend and yet he is wordless to that gal.. 1st time nia mah, also no need to be so gan jiong.. Juz be urself lor, get it or not juz leave it to fate.. Even if doesn't get, it doesn't mean the end of the world.. Juz like my current rs, if it's gonna fail, the globe still spins and doesn't wait for me..
Today is another sunless day.. Cloudy, windy, rainy.. Suit my mood.. Gonna be lazy today..
When they are talking outside, i yearn to learn wat's the topic.. Instead of going out to hear, i simply drink drank drunk and act bochap.. Juz carry on drinking my martell and beer, pretending i din see anything and appeared i din see anything.. Purposely down so many glasses of mixture till so high.. Did i not trust him and her? Or i really did trust him and her? To be frank, everyone seems like strangers to me.. I felt so alone that i put my walls up high.. Defending, trying to hold back everything and stuff myself in a bottle.. Celly always said dun do that coz one day i might juz broke down and malfunction.. Well, maybe that's me myself and i...
I juz felt helpless and something words do get stucked in the throat.. Communication is the key but i do not have the key..
Dawn told me to stay strong and have faith.. Juz like how she did and is doing.. Never to give up so easily despite the hollowness, emptiness and faithless.. Walls are still being built though but not let go.. Some says holding on is strong, maybe it's juz letting go. Bullshit, she says.. Contradicting leh..
To focus on work, so many stress and politics... So tiring..
To focus on home, so many problems.. So tiring..
To focus on friends, so many fakes.. So tiring..
To focus on love, so many questions and doubts.. So tiring..
I no longer knowing what to do or what i should do.. Feeling like backpacking and go taiwan alone.. At least there is safe lah, not that i dun wanna go elsewhere.. Simply running away for awhile where no one knows me, no one finds me, no one contacts me..
I cut my hair till super short again.. It's always when something happens then i would do that.. But anyway, short is better lah.. Coz at least after using my helmet, hair not so messy.. Maybe i shld maintain it this way..
Yesterday was a flop day.. Went to Millions and open a bottle worth $188 while waiting for Jason, Brandon, Jo, Jess, Alicia, Richard, Desmond and Steven. Alicia came 1st then Brandon and Jo. When Desmond came, ordered a barrel for them.. Smoking with Alicia and brandon outside then jess came. After that Jason came and awhile later Richard came.. Steven came last and he din recognised me when i'm smoking outside.. haha.. After the gathering and massive drinking and mix here and there plus a little lousy pool, i see Alicia to the cab then took a stroll to Nana and meet up with the rest. Kelvin Toh is there waiting for us.. Thai disco is not a place for me afterall... Though music is ok lah.. The place is so familiar to me that brings back memories.. Yeah, Devil's Bar memories.. Not memories of Alicia though but the bunch of gals.. Not only the bunch but also with Erica and Celly and one more gal but i forgot the name..
The future is not important to me anymore and i dun wanna care anymore as well.. Live and let live. Can only take a step and see a step..
We had always tried to match the two up and that guy always mess things up.. Too many points to minus liao.. When he sees a rival, immediately withdraw bit by bit.. I did told him that luckily i'm not his rival, if not i will be an even stronger rival.. Having said that, his friend really thought that i wanna snatch the gal away from them.. Coz she saw me being quite close to that gal at Chamber 82.. I told him off that day. He can talk so freely to his lady friend and yet he is wordless to that gal.. 1st time nia mah, also no need to be so gan jiong.. Juz be urself lor, get it or not juz leave it to fate.. Even if doesn't get, it doesn't mean the end of the world.. Juz like my current rs, if it's gonna fail, the globe still spins and doesn't wait for me..
Today is another sunless day.. Cloudy, windy, rainy.. Suit my mood.. Gonna be lazy today..
20 October, 2008
Dunk Drank Drink
Today seems to have a bit too much from access room.. I was about to type sassy bar.. =.= Seems totally gone.. Anyway, sudden got to urge for some noisy music.. Think i had a bit too much on ktv pubs.. Time to go back to dbl-o..
The feeling of loud beat with the martell kicking in.. Shiok... Maybe with some other drunk gals to see.. Haha... Anyway, talking abt that.. There was a new promotor on my side at the bdd counter.. I mean digital counter.. Indeed quite cute.. On sat when i walk past there, immediate captivated by her smile when i saw her smile.. At me maybe lolx.. Ok she's juz being friendly.. Oh i thot i smiled at her first? o.O But then, i still did not have a chance to talk to her.. Or maybe i juz dun dare anymore.. Was it the ring that is holding me back or watever heck.. But who cares.. Samsung suddenly started to ask names.. Though today was the first day i spoke to her for the first time.. But well, too young for me.. I dun need another 'ex-bitch'.. I mean someone like her in terms of age not figure coz this tiny whiny got neither looks nor figure.. Jessie much better than her.
Sales came rolling in pretty good and smoothly but target still seems unreachable.. Too little stocks or no confidence in closing? Been stressing in clearing old stocks to be frank.. Haiz.. Spent too much time in packing.. ZZZZZZZZZ..
In fact there's quite a num of choices out there.. But i can't seems to trust any.. Was it a darkness that haven't goes away? Or was it that fate is not up yet? But no matter what, she is someone that i can safely trust, despite the emptiness that i felt and having.. Even though several weeks or even mths that i had last seen her, i feel that i can still trust her.. How come the feeling is so mutual..? Thought it shld be getting thinner and thinner then goes to naught? Frankly, i'm tired.. No strength and time to really do wat i wanted to do.. Even though i got the money and time, i juz dun feel so.. I even rejected a niteclub session that bound to be fun.. Damn wat's got into me..?
Think i'm really settling down my heart liao.. Wildful no more and playful no more.. Maybe it's better this way.. Seeing her with no more complains seems good.. Maybe it's hidden well behind her high walls.. Anyway, i would not know any of these.. Coz i'm juz a small fly.. Not the 'left-hand, right-hand' like before.. Ya, time flies and paper grows thinner.. I'm not even a paper..
Came across cel's webby lately and found that she's back into singlehood.. But nothing has changed coz she is still she and i'm still me, myself and i. Time is not the same as before liao.. Haha.. I'm also no longer the wx that most know.. Coz i'm Rick now.. But still why so many ppl call me Ricky...? #$%#$@#$!@# Hahaha..
Shag liao.. Time to sleep.. Still got to do report later in the morning.. =.= Nite. Sweet dreams. Dun let the mosquitoes bite, juz let me bite. Wahahahahaha~~ Duh.
The feeling of loud beat with the martell kicking in.. Shiok... Maybe with some other drunk gals to see.. Haha... Anyway, talking abt that.. There was a new promotor on my side at the bdd counter.. I mean digital counter.. Indeed quite cute.. On sat when i walk past there, immediate captivated by her smile when i saw her smile.. At me maybe lolx.. Ok she's juz being friendly.. Oh i thot i smiled at her first? o.O But then, i still did not have a chance to talk to her.. Or maybe i juz dun dare anymore.. Was it the ring that is holding me back or watever heck.. But who cares.. Samsung suddenly started to ask names.. Though today was the first day i spoke to her for the first time.. But well, too young for me.. I dun need another 'ex-bitch'.. I mean someone like her in terms of age not figure coz this tiny whiny got neither looks nor figure.. Jessie much better than her.
Sales came rolling in pretty good and smoothly but target still seems unreachable.. Too little stocks or no confidence in closing? Been stressing in clearing old stocks to be frank.. Haiz.. Spent too much time in packing.. ZZZZZZZZZ..
In fact there's quite a num of choices out there.. But i can't seems to trust any.. Was it a darkness that haven't goes away? Or was it that fate is not up yet? But no matter what, she is someone that i can safely trust, despite the emptiness that i felt and having.. Even though several weeks or even mths that i had last seen her, i feel that i can still trust her.. How come the feeling is so mutual..? Thought it shld be getting thinner and thinner then goes to naught? Frankly, i'm tired.. No strength and time to really do wat i wanted to do.. Even though i got the money and time, i juz dun feel so.. I even rejected a niteclub session that bound to be fun.. Damn wat's got into me..?
Think i'm really settling down my heart liao.. Wildful no more and playful no more.. Maybe it's better this way.. Seeing her with no more complains seems good.. Maybe it's hidden well behind her high walls.. Anyway, i would not know any of these.. Coz i'm juz a small fly.. Not the 'left-hand, right-hand' like before.. Ya, time flies and paper grows thinner.. I'm not even a paper..
Came across cel's webby lately and found that she's back into singlehood.. But nothing has changed coz she is still she and i'm still me, myself and i. Time is not the same as before liao.. Haha.. I'm also no longer the wx that most know.. Coz i'm Rick now.. But still why so many ppl call me Ricky...? #$%#$@#$!@# Hahaha..
Shag liao.. Time to sleep.. Still got to do report later in the morning.. =.= Nite. Sweet dreams. Dun let the mosquitoes bite, juz let me bite. Wahahahahaha~~ Duh.
11 October, 2008
Cloudy? Sunny? Stormy? Windy?
We dun have 4 seasons.. Sad... Ok juz being random.. lolx..
Was asked how come i did not change gf.. That question did not flash my mind.. No matter the weather, juz let it be.. Anyway, it's juz like as if i do not have one and i dun have to commit my time to anyone.. No need to go shopping, no need to go movies, no need to go find excitment. Shopping? Huiying volunteer accompany me go since my gf dun have the time for me. Movies? Waste money leh.. Later i sleep in the cinema how..? Anyway, no rushing to catch show lor.. I got SCV aka cable tv. Very soon the show will be in my tv, juz matter of time.. Excitment? I got my sales challenges.. Brain cells burning for the sake of that..
Everyone is saying reccession but who cares? My job is to get ppl to take out money and buy the computer for their essential needs. I'm not a finanicial planner nor banker. Helping ppl save money is not in my dictionary. I only want ppl to fork out their money to buy the things they need. Frankly i'm not being evil. If in the 1st time dun even come into my shop to see computers, why would i want to push sales? If got heart to see means got heart to buy. Can kill wrong cannot let go. Fail to secure a deal means a big thing. I'm no longer in NEC so the criteria is different. Too high basic pay plus no target with no motivation. Now is different. Too low basic pay plus too high target with super a lot pressure from all staffs thus i had to set my high standard. For company good, for own good. Money is not everything but everything is money.
Took train for two days, found that it is so relaxing and saved so much per mth if gonna calculate.. Wat i'm losing out is sleep but sleep is really not very impt.. Juz becoz of sleeping a little longer can caused me losing several thousands of sales.. Might consider selling off my bike since it's more dangerous and have to pay more for transport every mth.. Uncle still ask me to go take car.. He juz wan a ride home coz he staying redhill... But then hor, his pay is abt 4 to 5 times of my pay and he never even wanted a car.. I'm already trying to learn like him and he's luring me to temptations.. Haha..
Uncle dun wear gold chain nor gold rings nor gold watch.. That is when he is working.. That day at D & D, his rolex worth more than $30k... His golden spectacles cost at least $500 i think.. His gold chain doesn't look cheap either.. But at work, he look like a typical uncle who earning $1500 per mth.. But who can believe he can hit 10 times more?
Thinking of that, my leather shoes really need to change liao... But i dun feel a need for it even though it is torn.. The diamond in my ring is a fake but i dun feel a need for luxury.. My bag is so worn out and old.. But still can use ah, why the heck do i need a LV? My pen keep on losing one after another, but why the heck do i need a Mont Blanc? All these are juz materials that will fade. Why so stupid waste money? I dun understand.. I can buy a brand new shirt juz specially for Brandon's wedding and wear it for only once. But i dun really need anymore clothings coz i dun even have much chances to wear them..
Anyway, when doing sales if u look rich and smart, that doesn't mean ppl will definitely buy ur product.. It's the service that u gonna provide and the neccessary info that customer needs when he intends to buy. Simple, juz tell him this this and this. He might juz buy it since everything mentioned fit what he needs. Whatever. Juz like when u serve him/her several times and no responds then simple let go coz another fish might be on ur way. Waste no time coz time is too short.. I always got not enuff time to hit my personal target.. Quite a few times short of a few sets.. I swore to surpass my payout and beat it every mth. At least i try and if i fail, i did not let myself down.. If it's not gonna kill u for trying so hard, it will make u stronger. Think the tension in the arena is great but Acer is still doing well. Gotta try harder.. I cannot be 2nd in place ah... Coz pay is 4 times lesser is miserable.. At least 2 times less i can still take it.. Wtf with the payout for a mid-rank staff but among the highest payout. 2yrs younger than me and his cpf is maxed out and no need to contribute cpf coz too much money liao exceed limit liao for his age.. wtf wtf wtf..
Was asked how come i did not change gf.. That question did not flash my mind.. No matter the weather, juz let it be.. Anyway, it's juz like as if i do not have one and i dun have to commit my time to anyone.. No need to go shopping, no need to go movies, no need to go find excitment. Shopping? Huiying volunteer accompany me go since my gf dun have the time for me. Movies? Waste money leh.. Later i sleep in the cinema how..? Anyway, no rushing to catch show lor.. I got SCV aka cable tv. Very soon the show will be in my tv, juz matter of time.. Excitment? I got my sales challenges.. Brain cells burning for the sake of that..
Everyone is saying reccession but who cares? My job is to get ppl to take out money and buy the computer for their essential needs. I'm not a finanicial planner nor banker. Helping ppl save money is not in my dictionary. I only want ppl to fork out their money to buy the things they need. Frankly i'm not being evil. If in the 1st time dun even come into my shop to see computers, why would i want to push sales? If got heart to see means got heart to buy. Can kill wrong cannot let go. Fail to secure a deal means a big thing. I'm no longer in NEC so the criteria is different. Too high basic pay plus no target with no motivation. Now is different. Too low basic pay plus too high target with super a lot pressure from all staffs thus i had to set my high standard. For company good, for own good. Money is not everything but everything is money.
Took train for two days, found that it is so relaxing and saved so much per mth if gonna calculate.. Wat i'm losing out is sleep but sleep is really not very impt.. Juz becoz of sleeping a little longer can caused me losing several thousands of sales.. Might consider selling off my bike since it's more dangerous and have to pay more for transport every mth.. Uncle still ask me to go take car.. He juz wan a ride home coz he staying redhill... But then hor, his pay is abt 4 to 5 times of my pay and he never even wanted a car.. I'm already trying to learn like him and he's luring me to temptations.. Haha..
Uncle dun wear gold chain nor gold rings nor gold watch.. That is when he is working.. That day at D & D, his rolex worth more than $30k... His golden spectacles cost at least $500 i think.. His gold chain doesn't look cheap either.. But at work, he look like a typical uncle who earning $1500 per mth.. But who can believe he can hit 10 times more?
Thinking of that, my leather shoes really need to change liao... But i dun feel a need for it even though it is torn.. The diamond in my ring is a fake but i dun feel a need for luxury.. My bag is so worn out and old.. But still can use ah, why the heck do i need a LV? My pen keep on losing one after another, but why the heck do i need a Mont Blanc? All these are juz materials that will fade. Why so stupid waste money? I dun understand.. I can buy a brand new shirt juz specially for Brandon's wedding and wear it for only once. But i dun really need anymore clothings coz i dun even have much chances to wear them..
Anyway, when doing sales if u look rich and smart, that doesn't mean ppl will definitely buy ur product.. It's the service that u gonna provide and the neccessary info that customer needs when he intends to buy. Simple, juz tell him this this and this. He might juz buy it since everything mentioned fit what he needs. Whatever. Juz like when u serve him/her several times and no responds then simple let go coz another fish might be on ur way. Waste no time coz time is too short.. I always got not enuff time to hit my personal target.. Quite a few times short of a few sets.. I swore to surpass my payout and beat it every mth. At least i try and if i fail, i did not let myself down.. If it's not gonna kill u for trying so hard, it will make u stronger. Think the tension in the arena is great but Acer is still doing well. Gotta try harder.. I cannot be 2nd in place ah... Coz pay is 4 times lesser is miserable.. At least 2 times less i can still take it.. Wtf with the payout for a mid-rank staff but among the highest payout. 2yrs younger than me and his cpf is maxed out and no need to contribute cpf coz too much money liao exceed limit liao for his age.. wtf wtf wtf..
10 October, 2008
Motivation..
Lately been like crazy.. Trying to aim $20k sales per day. lolx... But i'm really serious abt that.. Coz my pay is way too pathetic and not up to my requirements. I think i'm really hungry.. Compare to those staffs i'm really earning peanuts.. Working here is an entirely total diff enmity and everyone forever seems so hungry.. When the sales going good i wanna strive for the best.. Anyway, juz like wat Acer says, all the way till the EOY is gonna be my branding.. Since everything is to my benefit as well as staffs benefit, why not juz close deals to the max? Since everyone is so hungry, why not? When mixing around with 5-digit ppl, gonna always feel hungry.. Enough is never enough.
Took MRT to work and back.. The journey is so slow-paced while the ppl around me are like rushing for time.. However, when my engine started at work everything is so fast-paced and i feel energetic and made me almost wanted to close everyone i see, no matter PK or MSN or NAP. $20k per day during high tide can be achieved with the right mindset. 6days more to go till new spif. Gonna close deal like every customer is so rich, machiam comfirm deal for every customer served. No time to waste much. Want to buy juz come sit down and open invoice. 5-10min close deal shld not be too hard i believe, from wat i had seen.
Took MRT to work and back.. The journey is so slow-paced while the ppl around me are like rushing for time.. However, when my engine started at work everything is so fast-paced and i feel energetic and made me almost wanted to close everyone i see, no matter PK or MSN or NAP. $20k per day during high tide can be achieved with the right mindset. 6days more to go till new spif. Gonna close deal like every customer is so rich, machiam comfirm deal for every customer served. No time to waste much. Want to buy juz come sit down and open invoice. 5-10min close deal shld not be too hard i believe, from wat i had seen.
08 October, 2008
Where's my cheese?
Pay got delayed. Sian 1/2.. Courts D & D on Wed nite.. Was being jio to go drink and maybe go TNN a bit.. Reluctantly agreed coz thinking wanting to ration a bit this mth.. Need to pull connections.. Bo bian leh.. Lolx.. PR..
Wasn't much into beer but still those are beer-drinkers... Haiz.. Try my best lor.. Juz now drank a bit with them at coffeeshop.. Then rode home. Still sober lah so quite ok.. Anyway, weekdays are fine..
Told her pay did not come in then totally no respond. Ok lor, u do wat u like. MYOB then. Pissed.
Time to sleep. Maybe later sentosa. Haha..
Wasn't much into beer but still those are beer-drinkers... Haiz.. Try my best lor.. Juz now drank a bit with them at coffeeshop.. Then rode home. Still sober lah so quite ok.. Anyway, weekdays are fine..
Told her pay did not come in then totally no respond. Ok lor, u do wat u like. MYOB then. Pissed.
Time to sleep. Maybe later sentosa. Haha..
06 October, 2008
Ration-ing..
Sian this mth gotta ration again.. How long does the ration-ing gonna end.. Maybe i shld set it to long term.. Spending habits getting outta hand.. All earnings will be going to nowhere..
I spur out my plannings.. Sh1t. Shld not have done that.. But no point crying over spilled beans.. Anyway, those are facts that i stated.. Since i'm useless, i'm not needed at all so as well i leave.. Anyway, i mean no harm nor threat.. Neither like nor dun like.. People comes and goes in all walks of life. This is nature and nature is everchanging. It's not like taking pictures and moments last forever.. For, nothing is forever.. Even though i'm dead, i will not be forever etched in everyone.. That's the cruel reality.
Sales pretty bad this week.. The 1st week and 5th week of this mth are critical.. Need to do 60k per week. This wk only 39k... However, the 5th week got no weekends.. Very xiong.. Maybe cannot hit target again.. lolx.. But i cannot let that happened.. Gotta buck up.. While the spif still going on gonna pia all the way and hit over if not will die cock stand again.. Somemore roadshow again this mth.. My roadshow performance pretty sucky.. damn it.. It's almost an impossible target.. Like that i do so much also gana deduct 20% pay. Sian.. Still better than previous though..
I spur out my plannings.. Sh1t. Shld not have done that.. But no point crying over spilled beans.. Anyway, those are facts that i stated.. Since i'm useless, i'm not needed at all so as well i leave.. Anyway, i mean no harm nor threat.. Neither like nor dun like.. People comes and goes in all walks of life. This is nature and nature is everchanging. It's not like taking pictures and moments last forever.. For, nothing is forever.. Even though i'm dead, i will not be forever etched in everyone.. That's the cruel reality.
Sales pretty bad this week.. The 1st week and 5th week of this mth are critical.. Need to do 60k per week. This wk only 39k... However, the 5th week got no weekends.. Very xiong.. Maybe cannot hit target again.. lolx.. But i cannot let that happened.. Gotta buck up.. While the spif still going on gonna pia all the way and hit over if not will die cock stand again.. Somemore roadshow again this mth.. My roadshow performance pretty sucky.. damn it.. It's almost an impossible target.. Like that i do so much also gana deduct 20% pay. Sian.. Still better than previous though..
03 October, 2008
The aftermath
Not really an aftermath. Nothing much really. I think i was given too much space. Lolx.. Dunno am i fortunate or unfortunate.. Starting to see no clear sky, no future.
In fact getting mutual is common and normal.. I juz dun understand why muz there be a 'honeymoon period' of 6wks-6mths.. Thought shld be ever-lasting? It's about a lifetime not a period of time..
Izzit because i'm fan qian and i sought for too much? I've been thinking that she seems so bo chap.. Nan de off day can happily arrange go malaysia. Ok lor.. Anyway, did told her that will be going to drink on that day. She wan to come or not is her problem liao.. Once time's up i will wan to go to another place after the drinking i guess. I need some fresh air from the sea breeze.. Or maybe going to somewhere where only guys go.. See my mood i think... Maybe i shld jio Erica, Huiwen and Kimli as well.. I seriously dun like the feeling of emptiness..
Yesterday was Brandon's wedding dinner, not going so well from what i see though everything finish off smoothly.. Reasons being said that are, not well planned enough, not coordinating enough, no good management of the entire thing.. Luckily i act as a backup drinker coz everyone dun really knows me and i will stand in when everyone cannot already.. That kelvin still wanna jio to drink somemore but when i stand in he back out liao.. Wtf.. Full bottle of Martell waiting leh.. Actually i dun intend to force him but he's way too much in asking ppl to drink yet onself dun drink lor.. ZzZzZzZzZzZz.. But anyway, all's well.. Nick really wishes to stay in Vivo that's y he go all out to drink till he himself cannot make it.. Well, when wanna do something for someone, it's better to let him see it himself.. But ok lah, at least there are ppl to help inform the recipent..
Found out that my pay was pretty pathetic for last mth.. But still, it's better than it was in NEC.. Juz that i'm asking for too much.. Anyway, gotta aim for at least 5sets per day worth 2k ea.. Target is so high but it can be achieved.. Since now my brand is the only ones with super high spif, gotta make it fly over the weekly target before everything turns on me.. With spif, auto-run is being enabled so i had to be double up my performance on my individual sales so that i can achieve double sales daily so as to cover back for the end mth downfall.. With the promo on, selling 2k notebooks aren't a big issue but still gotta pick up some small fishes..
Toking abt fishes.. I'm trying to learn from those ppl in there.. Earning 8k monthly as an average but he only drinks plain tap water and $4 meal a day.. He dun go for golden watch nor latest mobile, less the branded clothings.. I mean, even with 8k salary person he can be so 'cat' that eats big fishes, he can be so thrifty.. He can do an instant payment for another colleague for a 54" Plasma.. I was like, OH MY GOD. That was more than 3 times of my salary, 10k. Maybe his bank account over shot till 6-digit liao... Cash money.. So wat everyone sees him as a poor farker with torn shirts and normal watch and no-brand shoe. Btw, he took mrt. Not he cannot afford but it's a waste of money to him..
Single or attached, no different. Most probably, i shld make myself known as single status from now on. Coz this way will open up more rooms, more choices. The choice being made may not the best choice but when more choices to be seen, the choice might be the best or other choices are even better.. So long never do anything wrong, my conscience is clear.
In fact getting mutual is common and normal.. I juz dun understand why muz there be a 'honeymoon period' of 6wks-6mths.. Thought shld be ever-lasting? It's about a lifetime not a period of time..
Izzit because i'm fan qian and i sought for too much? I've been thinking that she seems so bo chap.. Nan de off day can happily arrange go malaysia. Ok lor.. Anyway, did told her that will be going to drink on that day. She wan to come or not is her problem liao.. Once time's up i will wan to go to another place after the drinking i guess. I need some fresh air from the sea breeze.. Or maybe going to somewhere where only guys go.. See my mood i think... Maybe i shld jio Erica, Huiwen and Kimli as well.. I seriously dun like the feeling of emptiness..
Yesterday was Brandon's wedding dinner, not going so well from what i see though everything finish off smoothly.. Reasons being said that are, not well planned enough, not coordinating enough, no good management of the entire thing.. Luckily i act as a backup drinker coz everyone dun really knows me and i will stand in when everyone cannot already.. That kelvin still wanna jio to drink somemore but when i stand in he back out liao.. Wtf.. Full bottle of Martell waiting leh.. Actually i dun intend to force him but he's way too much in asking ppl to drink yet onself dun drink lor.. ZzZzZzZzZzZz.. But anyway, all's well.. Nick really wishes to stay in Vivo that's y he go all out to drink till he himself cannot make it.. Well, when wanna do something for someone, it's better to let him see it himself.. But ok lah, at least there are ppl to help inform the recipent..
Found out that my pay was pretty pathetic for last mth.. But still, it's better than it was in NEC.. Juz that i'm asking for too much.. Anyway, gotta aim for at least 5sets per day worth 2k ea.. Target is so high but it can be achieved.. Since now my brand is the only ones with super high spif, gotta make it fly over the weekly target before everything turns on me.. With spif, auto-run is being enabled so i had to be double up my performance on my individual sales so that i can achieve double sales daily so as to cover back for the end mth downfall.. With the promo on, selling 2k notebooks aren't a big issue but still gotta pick up some small fishes..
Toking abt fishes.. I'm trying to learn from those ppl in there.. Earning 8k monthly as an average but he only drinks plain tap water and $4 meal a day.. He dun go for golden watch nor latest mobile, less the branded clothings.. I mean, even with 8k salary person he can be so 'cat' that eats big fishes, he can be so thrifty.. He can do an instant payment for another colleague for a 54" Plasma.. I was like, OH MY GOD. That was more than 3 times of my salary, 10k. Maybe his bank account over shot till 6-digit liao... Cash money.. So wat everyone sees him as a poor farker with torn shirts and normal watch and no-brand shoe. Btw, he took mrt. Not he cannot afford but it's a waste of money to him..
Single or attached, no different. Most probably, i shld make myself known as single status from now on. Coz this way will open up more rooms, more choices. The choice being made may not the best choice but when more choices to be seen, the choice might be the best or other choices are even better.. So long never do anything wrong, my conscience is clear.
30 September, 2008
Back from a drunken day
Was being asked abt her lately.. Nothing much.. We are back as sweet as before. Recalled a few incidents from our days of work.. Maybe i had started to release a little.. Release doesn't mean give up, dun worry sweetie. I had ur words in mind since that day. I know u are working hard, so am i.. Let's work harder together. =)
Sales flopped this mth. Scary.. Imagine payout less than half of previous. Therefore, the thrifty goes on.. Haiz.. Wat to do.. Nothing in this world is perfect.. Perhaps it's time to manage myself before managing finance.. Earning 10k doesn't mean have to spend like machiam every mth earn 10k.. Management is hard..and tedious.. But no choice, for the future, i have to..
Met Jasmine and her husband Han lately when they came CP.. Han is in banking business thus i had learnt a little from him and had a little change in my future plans.. Afterall, career isn't too late to start even time goes by in 10yrs time.. Coz, there's no age in business. How old can a boss be? Well, mainly they are old.. Crap. Venturing out is an option not a risk. If everyone is afraid of risks, there will not be successful ppl less the unsuccessful ppl.. Wrong? Michael Jordan is famous for his basketball considered 1st, but who is second? And wat abt those who don't even get the fame? Fail means fail. There's no shame.
Even though i can play the game but i'm really sorry coz i'm attached and unavailable.. I may be cheeky and TK at times but well those are juz basic human instincts, perhaps man instincts.. Lolx.. Playing around with words mean no harm. But not fooling around until things go outta hand.. Tat's crazy. I dun said this to please anyone coz i blog to myself not to any readers.
Someone still does ask abt me on msn lately. I'm glad, at least she doesn't complain anymore like before.. Though both of us of different situation as before, one fact doesn't change, we are still friends.. That, i'm glad.. To rely on others to pick up ownself is useless. Maybe that's y i'm so attracted to those who got backbones who seldom rely on others.. Well, i mean seldom. Coz if u never share anything with me, there's no room for improvements, even as a friend.. I believe dawn still fits the criteria to be part of soul and body. Anytime even midnight if she calls and is crying, i'll be there in half an hr or less. Quite far lah, muz understand.. But i'm not juz anyone or rather any rider to any place anytime. Coz dawn is part of my life. Maybe she herself never expect that from me..
Well,
good friends never seen u cry. Best friends will be there when u cry.
good friends dare not disturb u when u are busy. Best friends simply pull u out for food.
If u ever did something and i object or pushover, mainly u are out of the category.. But afterall, still friends.. Best friends are not to be made use of but rather feel as part of life that they exist as VIP.. But sometimes, sad cases. U may treat me like one but i think otherwise. Pardon me but i'm not god. Coz i choose my own besties, not juz anyone. I'm shui bian but still not fan jian. That still stand firm ground..
Brandon's wed coming soon and i had to help out on that day.. Will be a real long day and maybe at nite i might have to juz sleep in the hotel.. Friday still gotta work.. But no issue, coz it's really an honor. For him only, i will forgo my sales for that day and the next. Not really a superb chap but ok lah really nice chap. Maybe his exposure not as much as Jason and i, thus a little of different category..
Sales flopped this mth. Scary.. Imagine payout less than half of previous. Therefore, the thrifty goes on.. Haiz.. Wat to do.. Nothing in this world is perfect.. Perhaps it's time to manage myself before managing finance.. Earning 10k doesn't mean have to spend like machiam every mth earn 10k.. Management is hard..and tedious.. But no choice, for the future, i have to..
Met Jasmine and her husband Han lately when they came CP.. Han is in banking business thus i had learnt a little from him and had a little change in my future plans.. Afterall, career isn't too late to start even time goes by in 10yrs time.. Coz, there's no age in business. How old can a boss be? Well, mainly they are old.. Crap. Venturing out is an option not a risk. If everyone is afraid of risks, there will not be successful ppl less the unsuccessful ppl.. Wrong? Michael Jordan is famous for his basketball considered 1st, but who is second? And wat abt those who don't even get the fame? Fail means fail. There's no shame.
Even though i can play the game but i'm really sorry coz i'm attached and unavailable.. I may be cheeky and TK at times but well those are juz basic human instincts, perhaps man instincts.. Lolx.. Playing around with words mean no harm. But not fooling around until things go outta hand.. Tat's crazy. I dun said this to please anyone coz i blog to myself not to any readers.
Someone still does ask abt me on msn lately. I'm glad, at least she doesn't complain anymore like before.. Though both of us of different situation as before, one fact doesn't change, we are still friends.. That, i'm glad.. To rely on others to pick up ownself is useless. Maybe that's y i'm so attracted to those who got backbones who seldom rely on others.. Well, i mean seldom. Coz if u never share anything with me, there's no room for improvements, even as a friend.. I believe dawn still fits the criteria to be part of soul and body. Anytime even midnight if she calls and is crying, i'll be there in half an hr or less. Quite far lah, muz understand.. But i'm not juz anyone or rather any rider to any place anytime. Coz dawn is part of my life. Maybe she herself never expect that from me..
Well,
good friends never seen u cry. Best friends will be there when u cry.
good friends dare not disturb u when u are busy. Best friends simply pull u out for food.
If u ever did something and i object or pushover, mainly u are out of the category.. But afterall, still friends.. Best friends are not to be made use of but rather feel as part of life that they exist as VIP.. But sometimes, sad cases. U may treat me like one but i think otherwise. Pardon me but i'm not god. Coz i choose my own besties, not juz anyone. I'm shui bian but still not fan jian. That still stand firm ground..
Brandon's wed coming soon and i had to help out on that day.. Will be a real long day and maybe at nite i might have to juz sleep in the hotel.. Friday still gotta work.. But no issue, coz it's really an honor. For him only, i will forgo my sales for that day and the next. Not really a superb chap but ok lah really nice chap. Maybe his exposure not as much as Jason and i, thus a little of different category..
18 September, 2008
Surprised? Someone dun think so if she reads my mind..
Been really a long time from the last post. Actually had a lot up in my mind ever since then but juz lazy or rather dun feel like posting.. Happy moments, sad moments. I have it all. Being attached as some knew. Been to funerals, only a few knew. In fact, a lot happened.. To be frank, i juz dun wanna post those sad moments as it will all affect others who's reading a little..
Last post i'm still in Singapore Technology being a robot there. Working 12hrs/day, 7days/week, 28days/mth. Life's hell and mono. Lifeless though i'm able to earn more than double of my last pay.. All's not well, coz been clearing debts and getting my transport as well.. Yup, my yellow baby TZM.. When i left my company, debts cleared till 4/5 or rather 80%. I took up as sales retailing at Vivo as NEC promotor. Life's seems good as every colleagues there are friendly and most impt i had friends working there. But the pay-cut is extreme to me.. However, still bearable except for the more frequent of alcoholic... Then i gave up and entered my current at Causeway Point. Yes extremely far but i got my baby so everything's fine.. But the transition is tough.. Coz pay will be delayed for a mth. Crap. Almost back to square one but luckily i still only have to tahan for another 3 weeks and the storm will be over real soon.. Coz my pay gonna be double as compared to previous.. But to the shock of my life, i thot i earned a lot but one of my colleague there is earning 4 times of my August payout.. Gosh. I was really stunned that there are still ppl earning 5-digit salary as retail sales. He is not a manager and not even a supervisor but he is earning more than 2 times of my supervisor of vivo.. Crazy figures.. Goldmine indeed. Period.
Was attached to a MIC of ST. Former colleague. Older than me, bigger size than me, slightly taller than me. But overall, she's great. She really took good care of me on my down times.. It's really been hard on her.. Really the shy type that when i tried to kiss her and she will shy away.. Haha.. Been together at the beach before with a tent from night till daybreak.. Some says romantic. Erm.. Maybe..? I told her that i will bring her on a cable car but the day had yet to come.. She was so excited on that. She knew i dun like Veg and there's once that i was tricked into eating at Fei Chui Restaurant at Vivo.. Crap but sweet. Silly gal.. I had told many that this gal was great. Among all previous, she may not be the best but she's among the top. Even if were to settle down with her, i wouldn't mind. Even my best friend gave the thumbs-up signal. Now awaiting the other best friend for the signal. He's gone to sweden for a long time already.. Coming back real soon. I mentioned i was quite sharp on my instinct but sometimes that may be oversensitive. Whichever the case, i must admit that i do feel this way becoz there's love. If not, would i react this way? lolx..
Anyways,
1st time - Off day went to 'sister' place to do some collection as well as majong. Did called around late afternoon and chat for a while.. Call her around late evening and there's no answer. Nevermind.. Finished work, zoom home with my baby and call, hp off. That was around 11pm. Called every hour till 3am, to vain. Maybe hp low batt and reach home forgot to take out to charge. Call the next day 3pm, hp off. Call 4pm, hp off. Call 5pm, hp off. Close to 6pm she called back. Said was recalled by someone(not to mention unless u ask me personally) for late dinner with his mum so had to off hp..
2nd time -Off day said wanna go out but nothing discussed over the fone so i went to work rather than spending the time at home doing nothing. Called me at work and had a little fight despite telling her that i can leave anytime. Said will call me back but called after 5hrs. Too late for anything. Said was watching show over the net and forgot the time. Told her can meet for dinner or movie but said dun feel like coming out already. Set.
3rd time -Off day said wanna go for haircut with colleague but din mentioned wat time. Was supposed to meet up together with my best friend and go to Jurong to pick up a tv from my aunt. Called her around 4pm and she's already out on her way for haircut and urgently hang-up. Reached Jurong around 7pm but raining so stop-over for a cup of tea. Called her but no answer. Got the tv back home and sent my friend to his bike. Called again and no answer. Back home bathed and eaten dinner. Before bed at 11pm called again and no answer. Thinking of it, i dun even know where she's going for her haircut. Furious. Sleep.
4th time -Off day said wanna go ktv with Pauline and another pretty gal but i forgot name. Last min i call her and informed her that i had to report for work due to roadshow, unable to take off days for 2 weeks.. Called her 5pm no answer. half an hr later called back with her sleepy voice and said juz woke up. Said will be preparing coz later going hair-treatment. Called back around 8pm and said on her way down for the treatment and haircut. Chatted for around 30min before she reach. Told her to call back when she reach home, said that she dun wanna disturb my sleep. This means she will be going home late? No? Zoom home bathed and ate my dinner, called her at 11.30pm and no answer. Called back within 3min and said she's at home already and someone(not to mention unless u ask me personally) is next door and she's not to speak freely. Environment is quiet and she can't sleep without music.. When at home all she does is stick to the computer but her QQ(something like messenger) is not on. Period.
She's having an off day on 1 fortnight. That means i had not seen her for almost two months. Actually i'm not scared of anything neither losing. I can still flirt with my Diners meimei and disturb other gals working at my workplace. But i still did not do anything wrong to her till date. I can still go hug gals at some places with those guys. I can still go drinking without informing her.. I can still tok to other gals on the fone. But i still haven't do anything wrong..
Do i have to go to that extend? Money is coming in soon and when there's money, anything can happen. I'm still being the guai guai type coz i haven't lay my hands on the fortune that's rolling in.. $3.3k payout on my coming pay. And with her that tight work schedule, i can easily 2-times or 3-times or 4-times her without her knowing. Do i really wanna see that happen?
For now i really dunno and will see how things go. It's either gone wild or settle down. My heart yearns for the 1st path now. Tragic.
I'm still the ever-wanting-attention guy yet easily-satisfied-with-a-little-attention guy.. Maybe she really doesn’t knows me well enuff.. Trial of 6mths will be enuff to see everything? Nah. I gave it 2yrs. Too many marriages and divorces I’ve seen. One after another and one after another. Told someone that there’s no more love in this world. Well, I mean it. So, dun fall to prey coz I will still bare my teeth.
Someone said I was her left hand but I felt more like a hair.. Haha.. Maybe becoz of some things made her change her mindset but I’m no longer angry. No need to feel paiseh leh, anyhow u know how to feel paiseh one meh? Hehe.. U are once my life buoy, so am I to u if u ever needed one. But issit possible for u to be again my life buoy? Question mark. Even so, I’m still ur life buoy. Smile even if u dun feel like to. Becoz u have to. Everyone else too including me.. Parts of body are meant to support one another, not to forget to use to support one another, unless it’s not to be one in the 1st place if u know wat I mean. Ciao. Take care, sweetie.
Last post i'm still in Singapore Technology being a robot there. Working 12hrs/day, 7days/week, 28days/mth. Life's hell and mono. Lifeless though i'm able to earn more than double of my last pay.. All's not well, coz been clearing debts and getting my transport as well.. Yup, my yellow baby TZM.. When i left my company, debts cleared till 4/5 or rather 80%. I took up as sales retailing at Vivo as NEC promotor. Life's seems good as every colleagues there are friendly and most impt i had friends working there. But the pay-cut is extreme to me.. However, still bearable except for the more frequent of alcoholic... Then i gave up and entered my current at Causeway Point. Yes extremely far but i got my baby so everything's fine.. But the transition is tough.. Coz pay will be delayed for a mth. Crap. Almost back to square one but luckily i still only have to tahan for another 3 weeks and the storm will be over real soon.. Coz my pay gonna be double as compared to previous.. But to the shock of my life, i thot i earned a lot but one of my colleague there is earning 4 times of my August payout.. Gosh. I was really stunned that there are still ppl earning 5-digit salary as retail sales. He is not a manager and not even a supervisor but he is earning more than 2 times of my supervisor of vivo.. Crazy figures.. Goldmine indeed. Period.
Was attached to a MIC of ST. Former colleague. Older than me, bigger size than me, slightly taller than me. But overall, she's great. She really took good care of me on my down times.. It's really been hard on her.. Really the shy type that when i tried to kiss her and she will shy away.. Haha.. Been together at the beach before with a tent from night till daybreak.. Some says romantic. Erm.. Maybe..? I told her that i will bring her on a cable car but the day had yet to come.. She was so excited on that. She knew i dun like Veg and there's once that i was tricked into eating at Fei Chui Restaurant at Vivo.. Crap but sweet. Silly gal.. I had told many that this gal was great. Among all previous, she may not be the best but she's among the top. Even if were to settle down with her, i wouldn't mind. Even my best friend gave the thumbs-up signal. Now awaiting the other best friend for the signal. He's gone to sweden for a long time already.. Coming back real soon. I mentioned i was quite sharp on my instinct but sometimes that may be oversensitive. Whichever the case, i must admit that i do feel this way becoz there's love. If not, would i react this way? lolx..
Anyways,
1st time - Off day went to 'sister' place to do some collection as well as majong. Did called around late afternoon and chat for a while.. Call her around late evening and there's no answer. Nevermind.. Finished work, zoom home with my baby and call, hp off. That was around 11pm. Called every hour till 3am, to vain. Maybe hp low batt and reach home forgot to take out to charge. Call the next day 3pm, hp off. Call 4pm, hp off. Call 5pm, hp off. Close to 6pm she called back. Said was recalled by someone(not to mention unless u ask me personally) for late dinner with his mum so had to off hp..
2nd time -Off day said wanna go out but nothing discussed over the fone so i went to work rather than spending the time at home doing nothing. Called me at work and had a little fight despite telling her that i can leave anytime. Said will call me back but called after 5hrs. Too late for anything. Said was watching show over the net and forgot the time. Told her can meet for dinner or movie but said dun feel like coming out already. Set.
3rd time -Off day said wanna go for haircut with colleague but din mentioned wat time. Was supposed to meet up together with my best friend and go to Jurong to pick up a tv from my aunt. Called her around 4pm and she's already out on her way for haircut and urgently hang-up. Reached Jurong around 7pm but raining so stop-over for a cup of tea. Called her but no answer. Got the tv back home and sent my friend to his bike. Called again and no answer. Back home bathed and eaten dinner. Before bed at 11pm called again and no answer. Thinking of it, i dun even know where she's going for her haircut. Furious. Sleep.
4th time -Off day said wanna go ktv with Pauline and another pretty gal but i forgot name. Last min i call her and informed her that i had to report for work due to roadshow, unable to take off days for 2 weeks.. Called her 5pm no answer. half an hr later called back with her sleepy voice and said juz woke up. Said will be preparing coz later going hair-treatment. Called back around 8pm and said on her way down for the treatment and haircut. Chatted for around 30min before she reach. Told her to call back when she reach home, said that she dun wanna disturb my sleep. This means she will be going home late? No? Zoom home bathed and ate my dinner, called her at 11.30pm and no answer. Called back within 3min and said she's at home already and someone(not to mention unless u ask me personally) is next door and she's not to speak freely. Environment is quiet and she can't sleep without music.. When at home all she does is stick to the computer but her QQ(something like messenger) is not on. Period.
She's having an off day on 1 fortnight. That means i had not seen her for almost two months. Actually i'm not scared of anything neither losing. I can still flirt with my Diners meimei and disturb other gals working at my workplace. But i still did not do anything wrong to her till date. I can still go hug gals at some places with those guys. I can still go drinking without informing her.. I can still tok to other gals on the fone. But i still haven't do anything wrong..
Do i have to go to that extend? Money is coming in soon and when there's money, anything can happen. I'm still being the guai guai type coz i haven't lay my hands on the fortune that's rolling in.. $3.3k payout on my coming pay. And with her that tight work schedule, i can easily 2-times or 3-times or 4-times her without her knowing. Do i really wanna see that happen?
For now i really dunno and will see how things go. It's either gone wild or settle down. My heart yearns for the 1st path now. Tragic.
I'm still the ever-wanting-attention guy yet easily-satisfied-with-a-little-attention guy.. Maybe she really doesn’t knows me well enuff.. Trial of 6mths will be enuff to see everything? Nah. I gave it 2yrs. Too many marriages and divorces I’ve seen. One after another and one after another. Told someone that there’s no more love in this world. Well, I mean it. So, dun fall to prey coz I will still bare my teeth.
Someone said I was her left hand but I felt more like a hair.. Haha.. Maybe becoz of some things made her change her mindset but I’m no longer angry. No need to feel paiseh leh, anyhow u know how to feel paiseh one meh? Hehe.. U are once my life buoy, so am I to u if u ever needed one. But issit possible for u to be again my life buoy? Question mark. Even so, I’m still ur life buoy. Smile even if u dun feel like to. Becoz u have to. Everyone else too including me.. Parts of body are meant to support one another, not to forget to use to support one another, unless it’s not to be one in the 1st place if u know wat I mean. Ciao. Take care, sweetie.
03 February, 2008
The mask.
All seems sound and well but it's not. All seems fine.. Storm before clear sky, clear sky after storm. Nature, repeating its process naturally.. Never-ending sh!ts.
The mask is always an inevitable ingredient for life. The smiles the laughs, they are all so fake. Forgotten what is real and what is fake..
The mask is always an inevitable ingredient for life. The smiles the laughs, they are all so fake. Forgotten what is real and what is fake..
28 January, 2008
Late entries...
18th December 2007
Finally got a chance to blog.. Lolx.. Coz i'm here in Ubi Ave 3 waiting for the shop to open.. Haiz.. Till now still haven't slp a wink yet.. However not really have the feel of tiredness though.. Whole nite been getting fedup and frustrated.. Haiz..
Back on 3rd shift and really no time to blog even though I had a PDA fone.. =.= I miss those days.. But I dun mind this lifestyle.. Hehe.. Everytime reach home wanna slp liao.. Wakey need go work liao.. Sat are burnt and worked till sun morning.. Only sun evening am available.. But been meeting yuxiang go out lah on these two free days.. Need to lift my burden ASAP.. Then my monitor spoilt.. Zzzzzz.. Luckily still got the laptop though I already ordered a 20" LCD TV which will only arrived on friday..
ST had offered me a company contract of 2yrs with the benefits of a permanent staff as a company staff.. However, the pay they gonna offer me is much lesser than what i'm getting now.. More CPF contributions though.. And with 3 bonuses per annual.. 3 bonuses is pretty normal lah, afterall it's considered government sector job.. My main concern is not my ability but the job responsibilities gonna increase tremendously and the politics that I am seeing aren't getting any lesser... Haiz.. I guess it's a matter of time lah..
Shld I carry on with my dream and reject the offers but still stays as a contractor till I lifted my burdens? Or shld I accept the offer and excel in it and shoot with all my might? Both had prospects and both had their risks... There's only one path... There's nothing such as "best of both worlds".. That's meant for kids.
In current state, some diploma-holders are merely slightly more than half of my salary.. Even some degree-holders aren't getting that much..
4th January 2008
This morning got home from work and went straight to bed.. Wakey at 1pm juz to go BBDC and I lost my way.. Lolx.. Luckily I wasn't late for my final theory test.. Damn. The questions are so tricky... In the end, I passed.. =.= without studying.. Lolx..
Actually I dun get mad for a long period.. But oh well, since nothing happen, then nothing happen lor.. Haha.. Got a feeling it's over and everything's back to square one.. Hmmm..
Anyway seriously no life that i'm living.. Maybe some might be able to put some colours to it.. Those kids.. Cute though.. =P
27th January 2008
Wat a day. Been having hang-over from the beer yest nite.. Head heavy plus weird feelings inside this body of mine.. =.= Anyway, meet huifang, xinlei and sally at Cineleisure for dinner. Their treat plus a lighter for my bday present.. Haha.. However, I dun seems to be in the mood for celebrations... Coz last yr this day, I had my 'best' birthday present early in the morning. I'm still dwelling in the past, I guess..
Met up with Dawn after meeting the 3 gals. We went for pool with one of her friend. Forgot the name though.. Nothing much and interesting lately.. Anyway, heard that Kel’s bday coming soon. Most prob will be going for a while bah that day.. Gotta see how coz will be at granny’s place..
Life is still as boring.. =.= Needed a life but doesn’t seems to be needing it. Kinda dunno wat’s my aim for life already.. Been clearing bad debts till I’m all numb.. This yr confirm clearing it once and for all and for good. Bygone all good and bad memories..
Rather random on my thoughts. Nothing much really..
03 December, 2007
Yume..?
Damn it.. Wat a dream... It's not a good dream though it's sweet and memorable.. Damn. How could i possibly still thinking of her and patch back with her? The era is over. No matter how soft-hearted i am, there's no way we can get back to the past. IMPOSSIBLE! Becoz i say so. I will not allow another stupid mistake to occur. Damn. ARGH!
Slept at 6am and woke up at 2pm.. =.= I intended to wakey at 3pm de.. zzzz.. Too excited liao unable to slp well, and somemore got that 'nightmare'.. Haiz... Later abt 4pm hopefully can go pick up my baby before going for work.. ^^
By right i'm working morning shift today but requested for night shift.. Though more xiong but i needed to pick up my baby so unless i work until 5pm then i run off lah. Anyway, dun think my 'head', ah chong, will allow that.. lolx.. Logically, someone wanna cover 3rd shift for him and leaving early while on 1st shift is not allowed.. =) So, i won. lolx... =P
Night shift made me no life, no life to anyhow spend money which is what i like.. I needed more money the next mth.. Juz killed the singnet and the penalty came this mth instead of dec... But i guess it's ok.. Both starhub and singnet are dead now. Though there are two new incomings but those are easy to handle.. Hopefully, by CNY bad debts will all begone..
Karen's bday is approaching.. I will never forgot her bday.. 5days before i was enlisted into army was her bday.. That memorable day that i almost used up all my savings to buy her a hp and DHL it to her place.. I kinda miss her... However, it's not appropriate for me to get her a present and deliver it to her place... Coz i know that she will not want to meet me.. And i did remembered my promise that i will not go find her unless permission is granted by her..
Slept at 6am and woke up at 2pm.. =.= I intended to wakey at 3pm de.. zzzz.. Too excited liao unable to slp well, and somemore got that 'nightmare'.. Haiz... Later abt 4pm hopefully can go pick up my baby before going for work.. ^^
By right i'm working morning shift today but requested for night shift.. Though more xiong but i needed to pick up my baby so unless i work until 5pm then i run off lah. Anyway, dun think my 'head', ah chong, will allow that.. lolx.. Logically, someone wanna cover 3rd shift for him and leaving early while on 1st shift is not allowed.. =) So, i won. lolx... =P
Night shift made me no life, no life to anyhow spend money which is what i like.. I needed more money the next mth.. Juz killed the singnet and the penalty came this mth instead of dec... But i guess it's ok.. Both starhub and singnet are dead now. Though there are two new incomings but those are easy to handle.. Hopefully, by CNY bad debts will all begone..
Karen's bday is approaching.. I will never forgot her bday.. 5days before i was enlisted into army was her bday.. That memorable day that i almost used up all my savings to buy her a hp and DHL it to her place.. I kinda miss her... However, it's not appropriate for me to get her a present and deliver it to her place... Coz i know that she will not want to meet me.. And i did remembered my promise that i will not go find her unless permission is granted by her..
29 November, 2007
late posts..
25th November 2007
Been upset with work lately. The drive to work is no longer that strong like before.. Committing into work seems to be fruitless when no longer being able to feel the appreciation. When I learnt that I’m the 1st student, I can picture that in her head that as if she is a great teacher. Everyone can see how she taught the 2nd and how she treated the 2nd. She’s plain useless. It’s not she who taught me well, it was me who learn well. I’m making my move to make her realize that she isn’t that great. She is juz a useless fat ass. Everyone is seeking me and trying to pull me over to their department and yet I stayed on. No appreciations are fine but BOMBS? Damn u. I will show u how tiny u are. The world is not as easy as what u thought. U are not married, no children, and yet u can boast abt how willing to teach u are. Please, u are juz being naïve. U have not seen the world. Since u think that u are that great, I shall set the plot and see u fail.
It was a wrong to go out on sat nite.. Drunk so much beer after a red wine makes me lose myself.. In the end, only returned home at 7am.. Din go for my lesson due to such heavy head. It was a bad nite. Damn. Gals are nothing but troubles.
Going for the dinner later. Dun really feel like going coz the aftermath is still going on.. Damn.. I hate myself.. I hate my life..
29th November 2007
Last thursday morning. Brought mum and 4th aunt to Yam cha for the 1st time since 25yrs.. Haiz... In the end, it's no yet open so we went to a nearby restaurant for the normal dim sum instead.. =.= Wanted to let them have a good meal also so difficult..
It's really my forte to pass tests/exams with one attempt.. Lolx.. From pri sch to sec sch to poly to driving. Basically anything.. Actually on that day, I had zero confidence due to rain early in the morning.. I'm always a coward whenever it comes to wet wet.. Lolx.. As early as 5am I lost confidence while having breakfast liao.. Rather to run away, I kept whistling whilst the warm-up/test trying to look as calm as possible, at the same time being alert with 100% concentration.. At the waiting room, the 10 testers came in one by one calling out number tags machiam 'shi shen' or devil, calling out those who will die.. Lolx... The heart went weak..
The road is one bloody dangerous hell.. =.= It's the drivers who are the devils not the riders. Damn. I shld get my car faster. =.= That stupid metallic blue subaru. Knn same destination as me some more. Wah kao...
It's been a long time since I last kept sending fanciful sms.. Ever since the mid of my last relationship when I change fone to dopod.. Good thing abt dopod is can store many many sms, like i've got 2k sms in inbox now.. =.= too many to go thru to find those fanciful msg to forward.. However, now got quite a few in a new folder.. Hehe.. =)
When she told u, "i've returned him already.", she's lying without a brain. All gals can juz lie whenever, whatever, whichever, whoever. Well, she juz wants u to bed her so that u will keep going back. She juz wanna open her legs. I knew she was such a slut thus I dun really care much. Dun even care when she's coming back to sg again. Despite those msg and calls to ask me to go find her. Pretty faces are often a deception as a decoy to get what they really wanted. Not as if I care anyway.
It was such a nice weather and suddenly it turns bad again.. =.= Felt some raindrops at my 1st shopping place.. Hope the 2nd will be better.. And maybe still gotta go to the 3rd.. If 3rd confirm, still got 2 other places to go... Sigh... Then lastly tonite still got the airport to go.. Wat a busy day.. But I dun really mind.. It will worth my time definitely.. =)
At the airport, finally saw her.. =) Though I dun really remembered the face if u were to ask me.. YX says I kept beo-ing char bo and I said such things… lolx.. well, seriously lor… Maybe a few more meeting up when JL comes back from
Unable to get the documents done despite the facts that I lost so much sweat today… =.= But all is well, coz it’s final I guess.. =) Looking forward to Saturday or latest on Monday.. I can’t wait for my baby!!!!!!!!!!! So excited!! Lol..
Burdens are getting heavy once again due to no planning on the incomings… Sigh… Wat to do.. It’s all for my baby and definitely it’s worth it lor.. =) The rain will be over soon and the sun will once again shine.. =) I dun mind without having the rainbow, I merely need the warm light..
Notice had been passed and ‘no-life’ had began again.. Say goodbye to freedom and say hi to the money rolling in once again.. =) The sufferings are merely moments, the returns gonna bring me to higher ground! Tough times dun last, tough ppl does. *wink* My baby will pull this thru with me. =)
21 November, 2007
Vase or Glass?
Think need to use what EY taught me to do rapports.. Lolx.. It's actually quite a good way for rapports.. For old friends, for new friends.. But will only do it after I had gotten my wife.. Without my wife, I dun really feel like doing anything at all.. Seriously dun have the drive... =.= Chong chu jiang hu eh..? Well, maybe.. =)
Working 2nd shift with OTs kept allowing me to see lots of OLs when going work.. Those reporting for work, smell extremely good coz the day is fresh and their scents are strong. Lolx I sound like a perv. =P
Dun have the confidence yet faking the confidence makes my heart at ease.. 'fake it till u make it' indeed a nice and sweet way to boost one's confidence.. Thanks Jolvin. =) I heard his voice saying that and reminding me everytime in his white Honda Integra..
Got a sudden urge to find her.. Lately kept having that feeling to look for her.. Wanted to msg her in msn to get her contact coz i've lost it ever since i'm attached that time.. She is an easy-catch though older than me by 1yr.. Still remember that time when I disturb her and I gotten a positive answer.. I told her that I wanted to go
Had juz evolved my signature while retaining the original pattern and added 'rick' to it. Not bad looking wor.. Haha.. Nice. =) Oh, and i'm quite surprised that Mr Yip called me Rick instead of Weixing.. I'm getting used to it.. =)
Seriously both paid around the same amount though the time consumed is different.. But like I said before, it's not abt how much can a person earn. Even though if he/she is earning $5k/mth but if the spending power is increased drastically, by the end of the day he/she is still left with nothing'. I know of someone whose earnings is merely $1k but his bank is forever more than mine despite my earnings is more than double of his. =.=
Sat went for majong with jasmine around. She long time no join us liao.. She's going ROM next mth coz of their flat is coming. Think their wedding will not be so early due their flat gonna cost a bomb already. That day wasn't expecting to win at all and initial stage i'm already not gaming much.. But in the end i'm the biggest winner. Lolx.. Some things are still too early to say.. Cannot pass judgment juz like that.. =) Then at nite I rode yx's bike and tongbang him to my place then he rode home.. Sportsbikes are indeed different from those in BBDC.. However, he said a no license one rode better than him.. =.= It's juz that he dun have the confidence only...
He was quite shocked that i'm in such a huge burden on me, clearing $1k+ every mth.. Well, if not why do u think i'm so hardworking to work. I never chiong so much de but becoz of that I had to.. Normal jobs with less than $2k are not for me.. That's y when
We went into the conversation of gals again. He kept saying that I shld not pay off those debts for her. Well, it's like a price to pay lor.. Then he said that treat it as if going geylang lor but high-class one lah.. Lolx.. It's cheaper for geylang lor but maybe beocz of 34D so bobian lor.. He said his 32A cheaper, only $300+.. Lolx.. Jokes aside and 'all-gals-are-nonsense' is applied to me only.. He's outta the trap and again falling into the web.. Well well, who dare says 'girls-next-door' will not have such things happening? The future is an uncertainty. Which cat doesn't eat fish? No matter black cat, flower cat, white cat, all also eat fish. Discrimination leh.. Well, facts of life.
She was right, me and yx are almost like couple. Lolx.. But I confirm that both of us are straight.. =) Maybe last time we fought too much and also we overcome a lot together.. 10+ yrs are not for nothing..
'It's said that if one eat my heart and he/she will attain longevity.. Everyone want to catch me and take out my heart.. However becoz of this guy, my heart doesn't seems to be impt to me and I dun even mind giving him my heart.. It is as if my heart is not mine solely but his too.. He didn't stole my heart, I gave mine to him. It belongs to him solely.'
So much of a random thought. =.= Anyway, back to work. At work, again i'm the usual active and no-temper guy.. However, seems that i'm getting more and more irritated by some in there.. Trying to take off my mask and reveal the actual me ah? Dun regret that coz i'm trying hard not to show the bad-tempered me.. Life's bitch.
Baobei vic called me on sunday.. She already said many times and asked many times regarding notebook.. Haha.. Saying that she confirm getting it liao so asked me abt the upgrades.. Haha.. I'm juz like her personal computer consultant.. But i'm that cheehong lah so I dun mind coz she's pretty. Lolx.. I think not long ago I juz grumble abt such case.. I'm so sorry but both gals' level of pretty are too big of a different.. =P But no desire of anything in me coz this one appears to be the same boats that I saw/experienced. Nevertheless, I will not walk out on her coz without her I wun have learn much mental qualities in EY.. =)
Several days more only.. The excited feeling is on and off. I guess i've calmed down which is great. Taking it with a clear mind is always much better than taking it with a cloudy mind. =)
Communication is always the key to bonding/rapport and keeping up with one another’s life. But too many times ppl tend to drift away when their minds are being cloud or rather on cloud nine. Anyway, I’m sticked to my belief of “Friends are forever but not relationships, at least that’s what I always believed.” The world today is no longer the same as before where the gals are always being faithful to their guys and guys are always the ones who fool around. Nowadays, both genders are the same. This is not discrimination but facts. Afterall everyone is out to look for fun and excitement in life as life itself is short. I still do value friendships regardless of genders. Friends are friends, not juz he or she.
I dun really meant to do some hurting but rather I felt there’s a right for u to know the spoken inside which often get stucked in the throat. Masks are easily put on despite revealing after some times. Reality bites and there’s no escaping in fate. What meant to be will be, what’s not will not. Given my nature, I’m easily forgiving but sometimes it can be quite hard. If there are no obstacles between me and YX and JL, there’s no way we three can bond ourselves together as brothers. Not juz anyone who called me bro and I will regard him/her as one machiam close kin. In return for that greeting, I will greet back in a matter of courtesy and not from the bottom of the heart. Juz like how Xuehui kept asking how come she’s not being one of my best friends. Well, I can be yours but u might not be mine. Simple? It’s a 2-way traffic not 1-way, I’m sorry.
Not everyone is perfect and everyone is trying to be as perfect as possible to whatever he/she can to the best of his/her abilities. Imperfection is a norm. That’s why there are things called ‘Accept’, ‘Forgive’, ‘Change’, ‘Amend’, ‘Understand’, etc. Everyone is learning everyday till the day of doomsday. A person never stops learning no matter the age or gender. Inevitable that fate might lead one to hell or maybe heaven. The growing never stops. Running away from reality doesn’t really help. Instead, facing reality is the hardest thing. Juz like facing the fact that someone actually went on honeymoon with another guy and yet can accuse me of any single slightest thing that she can ever find. Being unable to face that will lead me to jump down from my floor(20th floor only though). Juz like being scolded by a pretty gal(in EY) directly on the face for being a ‘gu-niang’ in my own childish thoughts and yet being able to face that fact and face the cruel reality and society with bravery and guts, then sow to change myself to become a different me to fit into the criteria. Life in EY is hard and full of sufferings and mental torturing plus insults being thrown. I grow up the hard way with the defend system taught by a senior with EY enhancing it further more.
If u are unable to face this reality or rather unable to overcome this ‘trivial matter’ with me, it is unlikely to amend the crack-lines and more yet to come in the future as the future is always unpredictable. True friendships and strong bonding are not being built in a day or in a month or in a year. To be precise, it’s not being built juz like that as it requires two to make one. By making it happened, there must be tons of difficulties before it can be truly attained. Everyone ought to be given chance(s) for mistakes/disasters to fit in and then be eliminated by both parties, this I agree and I’m not saying I ain’t giving out any chances. See the timing and opportunity. Seize it when it comes. It will not be difficult if the mind is clear. Communication is always the key but I no longer had the time for it. Time is scarce and unable to fork out anymore redundantly. It’s precious and will only use it wisely. If I think it’s a waste to use it on u, u will know it. If I think it’s a waste to use it on u, I dun think I would even bother to waste time typing out all these post with that not so gentle reminder. To capture one’s heart, 1st try to understand the heart. The door is not easily opened yet it’s not as cold as it seems to be. Tough times dun last, tough ppl does. Peace out for now.
19 November, 2007
16 November, 2007
I'm angry.
Disappointed.. Haiz.. Suddenly dun have the drive.. =.= what's with the goddamn sian thing.. Haiz.. Again that feelings kicking in and getting pissed off at every single thing and every single one.. Again I dun need nobody neither do I need somebody..
Finally i've cleared it. Damn I shld have cleared it last wk de.. Gana one immediate.. Exactly the same pts minus of the plank.. 12pts. Today gotten 16pts, the 4pts from plank.. Only if I did it last wk.. =.= And the weirdest thing that I dun get it is I gotten perfect score with no penalties on the road for both.. Knn... Am I really that zai..? Lolx..
Lady luck is smiling at me.. She granted me 2days.. *muacks* =D Though I was still hoping for 9days or 7days in advance de.. But still contented with what I was given.. Tsk.. I'm such an easy-going guy.. Wahahaha...
Sunday went with my sis go make her specs then after that supposed to be meeting the guys at Mustafa.. I was too late I guess.. In the end met up at sls instead while JL gets his PSP Slim, 1gb ms pro duo and 160gb hdd while I get a 1gb ram for my notebook.. Almost got a new graphics card, 6xxx series and an additional two 1gb ram for each of my computers... Damn I muz be crazy.. 3 computers at home.. Lol..
After sls we went on to vivo(again!!) to look for Canon showroom.. Took a look at the crystals at the dunno-what-name-shop.. Damn nice I tell ya.. Eyes painful from the glare.. Lolx.. 999 roses can't beat a single rose on a crystal vase... But JL said that the rose is not fit to put on the crystal vase.. Lol.. A crystal pendant will beat all silver pendant.. =.=
Complain to the guys a bit abt getting back to no-life soon when starting work on monday.. YX was rite that despite this life, at least like now, we can juz go out shopping and eat and buy without having the thot of 'wah no money liao, cannot buy lah cannot eat lah cannot shop lah'.. Even getting my temporary 'wife' also no need to wait few mths.. Of coz getting a brand new wife will still requires me to lah.. I'm not like Jasmine who is being offered a $4500 pay job and she's still considering.
Not all university grad can get those offers.. Well, and luckily she already bought her house.. If not, her pay adds up with han's pay will not be able to buy any HDB flat coz they are too high-paid. Haha.. Anyway, i'm still waiting for the house-warming.. =)
Watched Stardust on sat.. Quite nice show to me.. Juz like pirates carribean, an unexpectedly acceptable nice show.. Watched the show and reminded me of Jenny.. It would be even nicer if I watched that show with her.. She sure has a lot of comments to yak abt after the show.. Haha.. Yes, she's a stars-lover.. Oops.. I shld not be spoiling the show since there are ppl who had not watched it.. =)
Unable to see one that I like on sat.. Maybe this sat or next sat going to see again.. JL is flying off on 29th.. We still gotta drive there.. Guess I shld not withdraw.. Or maybe I shld.. O.o At most take cab home lor.. It wun be expensive until where de lah. See how lor still got more than 2wks time..
Lingyan aka Jocelyn, is getting married on the 25th.. Quite sudden to me though not to everyone else.. Never occurred to me that they had been together for so long already.. Age is catching up I guess...
This is NOT a gentle reminder. If u read this, I believe u know i'm refering to u but i'm not naming. Anyway, again the same old bloody thing that I hate happened again. When that time I lent something to u and in the end where the hell was it? It was in Jason's hands. I think I did mentioned that u are the one who I entrust something to u, not others. He's not even a 'friend' to me. Or rather, none of
My dog always wags its tail happily when I came home, no matter how sad or angry or happy, he will greets me happily with slight a bit groaning signaling me or rather awaiting for my 'sayang' or even a pat on its head.. Even if nothing was given, the next day he will still do the same thing without fail without getting angry. I felt i'm behaving like one. I'm realistic. Maybe if u feed me daily plus my expenses daily, I might consider though I doubt i'm that easy to maintain due to high fuel consumption. I'm Rick and i'm not a dog. If u dun look at me that way, it's none of my business coz it's me, myself and I who felt like it.
Anyway, I dun need an apology nor do I need an explanation. There's no 'sorry', coz if 'sorry' do work, why is there a need for police? Juz leave things as it is and u live
Saw the photos of someone in my friendster.. She's so much like that bitch.. =.= Though different height and weight lah.. But she's quite power lor.. Got the CFM-look and close to devilish-body.. Quite a numbers of semi-naked pics and cleverage-showing pics.. So much like the bitch.. Ya she is a singaporean, quite young but older than the bitch though. =) Oh well, both are whores I guess. No different. Anyway, none of my business. AIDS KILLS.
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