Sales going normal lately. Back to norm I guess.. Though that's really not enuff for me to hit my target, think shld be ok lah.. At least still can survive lah.. Juz like how I survive with nec pay.. Anyway, commitments aren't as great as before.. Juz normal house issues and that forever drunken guy issues. Really cannot have cash on me. Really knn. That place is utterly cannot be called a place, home. Hell with it.

Slept really early lately and wakey early for roadshows.. It's a bit extreme and unlike me.. Lolx.. But sometimes, that's our part to fulfill lah.. Juz like even though i'm not being paid on mon to thur, but still come work.

Bike was being sent to shop to do repairs and maintenances.. Repair valve, clean exhaust, change brakes, change engine oil, change spark plug, change a dunno wat thing that caused my bike to cannot start.. Oh, and put silencer. Anyway, doing these minors cost me over 300 bucks. =.= Shag. Maybe when take back liao and i'm more comfortable with it, I might juz keep it till the end of time or maybe till class 2 or class 3..

That had quite a long chat with my gf on the fone than usual.. Happened that somehow, several events were alien to me when she said she did told me before. My memory wasn't that bad lor. Haiz.. Can feel the bridge again.. Was it me or was it the dark cloud again? Commit myself? No way. At least not yet.

Been taking train lately.. Really not used to public transport.. Missed my train two times.. One time at Jurong Interchange and have to take cab back, that day had a few cans of beer with Richard and Steven after roadshow.. Second at Dhoby Ghaut and have to walk home, help cust to do installation and setup after work after her school.. Though Dhoby Ghaut near to home but kinda lazy from a tiring day of work yet dun wanna waste money on cab.. Money not easy to earn even though earning more than before.. Need to learn more from uncle tianxing.. Hahaha..

Wah wah wah. Adam and ken help me sell DV6773TX today and also a 2800 series from ken.. Uncle and keith help me sell DV4 series! Mr richard also help me sell DV5. Wow wow. Actually no matter what they sell, all of them are very nice ppl. Lol tripod.. But no leh, all of them really nice guys mah. Super duper good de. Haha. Anyway, what they sold are not impt lah, coz down the bottomline, I still have to do my job. It's not as if I can get lazy and slp at home. Though got ppl said that i'm a Three-Point-Five.. Ya three-point-five-floppy-disc. In short, flop. =.= Then I closed one power-pack and he took back his words. Not I dun wan to close deal leh.. Juz dun have the chance leh. Sigh..

Kept thinking of the negatives. Paliah leh.. For a such MIC, she shld be finding an old one with cpf credited into bank account de.. But why me? A broke with no future.. =.= And somemore that time when no working it wass her who supported me a bit financially.. Even when going drinking there's few times she's the one paying for it.. Joanne, brandon and jason do know abt this coz they saw.. Now what I did was merely a 30 bucks fone card monthly. Wtf. And repay with negative thoughts with that aroused suspicions on blank. For her there's no necessity to play such coz there's not much benefits from me and no liabilities.. Well I understand that she can 'do it' now and she might 'do it' the next time, but the reason for this case is, i'm not impotent.. It's neither the dark cloud nor her. It's juz me, myself and I. When will I stop playing..?

Juz came back from Tiong Bahru. Today supposed to meet up Jason for sentosa.. Put him plane and early morning went bukit panjang meet up Alicia and her younger cousin for breakfast. After that me and her cousin took a cab to great world city for her interview as CSA. Told her that it’s wiser to take up at IMM coz it’s nearer to her place but she chose Vivo instead.. Kinda worry coz I’m not there to look after her whereas Alicia told me to.. In fact she wanted me to get her into Courts instead since it’s nearer to her place and got me there to look after her.. Well, in fact her future is brighter at Best.. Work upwards lor.. At least got prospects from wat I see. Not that my side no prospects lah juz that I dunno what she wanted herself or rather what she wanted for the future.. Hope letting her into vivo is not a wrong move haha..

Hmmm… Her mum is the stall holder..? That means Alicia is working for her mum.. Anyway, thurs will be going down to vivo with her for her 1st day of work.. Haha machiam big brother bringing little sister to report work lolx…

Sunday drinking session on form sia.. Crazy.. But gotten super hangover the next day.. =.= Super woozy feeling at work.. Can’t rmb much on that nite.. Only a ‘moshi’ & ‘hello kitty’. Lolx.. And also a five-ten for a kiss. Hahaha.. Actually I dun have a thing for her at all. The xiao bu dian fares better. Lolx..

Maybe tonite got another drinking session.. Anyway, tml going to pick up my baby.. Guess need to wash her liao.. Sure very dirty de.. hmmm..

2 days back went nana with them again. This time so many ppl there.. Zhiwei, nicky, soon heng. Not the usual gang.. Lolx.. Unable to find a reason not to go coz was being pressed by my sweetie as I put her plane once. Haha.. Anyway relax only since i'm not the target.. Zhiwei gana down a lot of glasses.

He said she looks like dawn, not only the looks but the actions and reactions too.. I long time ago did mentioned they are resemblance but no comments from my gf that time.. Anyway, there's no way my sweetie can replace dawn and there's no way my dawn can replace my sweetie. =) Coz to each is individual, there's no replacement nor substitute..

Maybe there's a little confusion here.. Neither dawn nor sweetie are my gf.. Juz my friends. Haha.. A title is juz a title, there's nothing more to it. Anyway, i'm attached though available but made myself unavailable. Lolx contradictions plus complications.

Where are u when I need u most? =.= Off ur stupid fone and dunno wat u are doing. Heck.

Saw the upcoming events.. Sunday drink, monday drink, tuesday drink. Felt weak on the thought of that. Lolx..

From 'complicated' to 'attached'. Hmmm.. Then was it that I heard wrongly abt 'single' two days back? Coz it's that 'single' that's why that married man wanna go nana, or was it becoz she looks like dawn that's why he wanted to go? Anyway, I dunno wat's up but I will not be gone until sweetie is on her way home. She also drank a lot that day.. Thot soon heng sending her home when her guy not coming to pick her up. In the end, I did not send her back even though I planned to. =.=

ICQ

Suddenly received a mail from ICQ in my hotmail.. Did managed to login lolx after so many many years... Found this inside my own profile..


About Me
Setsunasa
Bagurakasu no niwa nareteru no ni
Konna toki dake namida ga
Tomerarenai nowa naze darou...

I dun even rmb wat that means.. I think this got something to do with celly... lolx.. Coz that time it's becoz of cel, i'm more into japanese..

Memories.. Yeah, they still linger.. But better not haunt.. Lolx.. Anyway, juz back from a quickie from boat quay. Coz my supervisor help me sold two DV5, so ok lor. Juz go down awhile.. Access Room reopening?!?! Actually, it's no longer the Access Room.. Took over by another boss dunno from Whiskey or Martin.

Dawn is at Dbl-O, asked me to go over.. Got a little bit tempted by her.. Actually not her but someone else.. Haha.. Tml got roadshow lah.. If not, can consider going de.. Anyway at Millions there quite boring and dun really like it there today.. Ok lah need to go koon liao.. Need wakey early tml.. ZzZzZzZzZzZzZz...

Locked..

Didn't know that she's so active in facebook.. Seeing her now makes me content, at least she can live without me. Live as if i do not exist in her world anymore.. Dunno if she's still in singapore but can see from her facebook she seems to be in New York now..

Days back i tumbled onto her facebook.. Going thru the contents and pics.. There still seems a slight pain in there.. Memories can be painful at times though blissful at the same time.. How ironic.. An untied knot. There's no way to turn back time, neither a way to undo that knot.. Forever etched and locked in that frozen cave that i once broke free with the help of celena.. Ever sentimental as it can be, as painful the agony i can feel inside her that time.. Regrets, are all that i had left with, in the book of life.. I only can wish for all the happiness that she can get.

Getting lazy lately. Rest is to allow more energy for the coming meteor. I simply hate roadshows.

Think no need to go book class 3 liao this week. Roadshow starting in 2 days.. When roadshow ends, can already book my class 2a. Guess will juz have to book both together.

Lolx..

Haha really cannot tahan sia!! Marilyn looks real cute in that new pic with her frowning with her bear!! Lolx.. One word, SWEET! Haha.. Wat's got into me sia lolx.. Maybe i'm too stressed from the aftermath.. Any single little cutie can perk me up lolx.. I'm so fan jian. lolx.. I must be crazy.. Roflmao...

A pity yest didn't go work.. If not i think i can pick up more sales coz overall sales not bad.. Sigh.. Bo bian lah no mood to work also.. Today also ok lor.. At least can vie with Acer but of coz still lose. Haha.. Well i dun mind though. Hee. Coz it's not lenovo or dell that is dominating.

Anyway, thinking of the next upcoming roadshow. Maybe i shld use my c794 to kill the market in terms of pricing.. I mean, need all highs and lows model in order to balance out the nature.. If not ppl like dell or lenovo will kill and eat more shares.. Even though low end more prob also bo bian one..

Beer Fest

Omg i really hate beer. Goddamn shit that i'm almost a goner within 3 glasses straight. Yet they see me can drink with gals then disturb me say i can't drink with them.. Zzzzzzz... I'm drinking Martell leh not beer that time. Beer is really not my cup of tea, erm drink.

Again left my bike at boat quay while richard and the golden hair send me home. I'm drunk but i still manage to walk myself home from the coffeeshop. In the end unable to wakey the next morning.. Rush report for an hr when i woke up at 4pm.. Mina called and asked for my report.. By 5pm, finally done and email it over to them..

Got quite a few calls during my slumber but can't really rmb it well lolx.. Supposed to go work today and pack up those mess of roadshow aftermath.. Got an sms from Olivia that pay will be late and expect delay from now onwards.. No mood to go work. Anyway, i'm not paid on weekdays.. Heck. 1 and a half mth to process pay. Wtf. And yet i'm earning lesser than Lenovo and Dell. Wtf wtf wtf.

Mei chin wanna disturb me to make me drink. Well, can do anything to make me drink but wanna play 'friendship' that's ridiculous. If i dun even treat u as a friend i dun even bother a single shit. Anyway, though i'm drunk but i rmb clearly that i saw Stacey crying outside. But the dog came out real fast. Was that her dog? No idea and not that i really care.

Another roadshow upcoming and pc show upcoming.. Shacks. I'm exhausted even though i got not much sales.. Need a break real soon i guess..

Hmmmm... She seems to be back into the picture. How come feeling slight sour inside..? That shld not be the case leh.. Sigh.. Wat's got into me? Anyway, i shld be happy for her ah.. Wtf dunno wat's my mind made of.

原谅我

原谅我

请不要分了以后还记得亲吻过的承诺

你的永久已不属於我

默默低头那时我很多话梗在喉咙

你的笑你的快乐不是我爱太多想太多

我能感受他比我适合

爱放了手我伪装冷漠比你先说分手

请原谅我原谅我不成熟

不爱你是藉口好让你离开我

请原谅我好想自私将你占有

一个寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活

请不要分了以后还记得亲吻过的承诺

你的永久已不属於我

默默低头那时我很多话梗在喉咙

你的笑你的快乐不是我爱太多想太多

我能感受他比我适合

爱放了手我伪装冷漠比你先说分手

请原谅我原谅我不成熟

不爱你是藉口好让你离开我

请原谅我好想自私将你占有

一个寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活

爱过恨过哭过也笑过

亲吻过你的脆弱

其实我比谁都要懦弱

原谅我必须假装爱错

别让时间倒流我怕说不出口

原谅我没有解释太多心痛

别无所求彻底忘了我爱原来要舍得我

难过我才懂

=.=

She said today she was very late and someone is sending her to work today.. =.=" I mean, u dun have to feel nervous when u are saying that.. Even though it's a guy who is sending, so what. But, when u saying is a dajie and feeling nervous, that sounds lagi not convincing. Maybe i'm juz too hard to please, maybe another might fits better in the picture..

Everyone had been taking pics like no one business while my dopod cam is spoilt. =.=" In fact, ever since my last, i dun wanna take anymore.. Nvm next week will go get my fone, the screen as well as the cam. No point in getting a new one when mine worth over 1k.. Even if repair cost is more than 10%.. I'm so used to keyboard.. haha.. Anyway, my cam got flash one lor. ZzZzZzZzZz.. Though not like dawn's N95 with 5mp de but still can take de ok!

This time round different liao.. Even though percentage is lesser than the previous, but majority is still on the 'find another' side.. Previous de more vigorious lah.. But i guess a '2-timing' is definitely a no-no coz even myself will not allow it.. Coz i'm always the one got betrayed? lolx.. Normal lah these kind of life. It's all abt suffering and happiness. Nothing is perfect, it's juz balanced..

Kept finding the Ti Amo and cannot find until she posted the mtv.. Lolx.. I'm really very toot toot when finding songs.. But still can get Jay full album lor. Bleahz. =D But this song seems kinda hard to sing.. Coz the chorus part, the guy dun sing much rather than a echo-ing or rather like a backup singer.. Main focus is on the gal side.. And this original singer's voice is so power that she almost covered the guy's voice.. Machiam Dai Ai Ling - Dui de ren. Oh ya she got a new song and heard it several times at Millions and also Whiskey.. Kept on forgetting the name..

Anyway, it's been decided.. Next wk cfm very busy.. Go do my bike, do my specs, book my class 3. Think will be getting 2 days off.. Maybe use one day meet dawn for dinner, maybe with movie..? Hehe.. Of coz with a reason and she knows lah wat's on Xing's mind. =P

Oh shit man!! My sweet nothings never stop! Knn i can even say those sweet nothings to an auntie and made her so happy lolx.. Wtf lor.. Haha. And it still seems to work. Oh shit i think i eat too much honey.. lolx.. My mind had not been rusty so far so long.. But i think i use those on cust better.. Haha..

This mth sales will be quite flop.. But no matter how flop, i cannot flop too much.. Still have to survive lor.. But my roadshow skills still sucky leh. I hate roadshows... Juz like that time sell nec also.. Totally lost and dunno how to sell.. Washing skills total no use.. Haha.. Well they also said, when u cannot even trust ur own ability, who else can? Need to buck up and chiong liao... Even if lapsap also muz grab liao. I'm being too lenient to the staffs for always been wanting to close those with spif for them. I mean, i still have to eat mah. Why care for others when u urself can't even feed urself? But not till the extend of selling all super low-ends lah. Nap one muz still goes nap lah, dun gu-gu go until pk..

Anyway, hope all my CBs come back this weekend.. At least can pick back a bit.. Even though my brand is not a house-brand but still it's quite a strong brand lor. Knn how can lose to other brands.. Since still got some supports, muz chiong also. It's not the time for relax.. This mth sales will be for CNY de lor. When totally no supports, no matter wat brand also die.. Friendship? Friend lan lor. But also have to do the right thing and do things right lah..

Cloud9...

=D =P =)

On cloud nine today.. lolx.. Today's her off day and as expected she's gone to dunno where and do wat but well, not really not i wanna control her that much.. Anyway, i'm having roadshow on my side this week.. In fact, we agreed on going fishing prawn today after dinner and movie.. In the end, felt so bad for not able to accompany her on her off day..

She said she went to meet her aunt for some food at Orchard. Total 5 ppl including kids. Ate Dim Sum and spent over $100+.. She bought a SK-II facial and a blouse for over $400.. =.=" But ok lah.. As long she happy lor.. Anyway, not using my money..

Around 9pm+ she called me and asked me where am i.. Lolx. Was quite shocked that she came down to Causeway Point to find me.. Haha. Went for a smoke when she came then wanted to go eat pizza coz she said she missed pizza.. But they closing soon le so she decided not to eat liao. Anyway, both of us also tired from a day's work.. Sent her to the cab and kiss her goodbye before heading back to my shop to get my invoices then be on my way home..

She again wearing skirt but today no high heels.. I guess it's time i change my transport liao.. Will be going to book my car next wk after my show and end of mth book my class 2a.. Will be taking both together.. Despite yx kept telling me that like that take will be very xiong.. But i still wanna do it leh.. Whenever i decide on something, i dun like to change.. For example, when i decide how to celebrate ur bday, i dun like to change events.. Juz like how i wanted to celebrate for her that day.. Haiz.. Anyway, nvm lah.. Next yr we try again. I wanna make it more memorable for her.. I felt so useless at times..

Spoke to dawn this afternoon on msn.. Luckily there's still someone to talk to during my boring roadshow.. Time is so hard to pass and working hrs so long from 11am till 10pm.. Here not like vivo where so many ppl around know one another and can tok cock all the way till end of day even though got sales coming in..

Mentioned to her abt the gal in her gang, i mean group.. Got not much info leh.. But frankly lah, seen her so many times but never really spoke to her once, however she doesn't fail to catch my attention.. Always smiling and laughing whenever i see her.. Haha. Anyway, they having complains for that Whiskey Bar. Bad service, bad condition, bad attitude. Lolx.. Guess they will be going to Millions next time coz Mei Chin they all at there. But anyway, Millions merging with White Bar i think. Dawn says will intro me that gal the next time they go pubbing will ask me along.. haha. In fact, she wanted to see me and that gal together.. So that all of us can go out often thereafter juz like last time. At least, my 'gf' know them and can click. =.="

This mth sales think going to be gone case again.. lolx.. Going back to old normal sales with maybe enough-money-to-buy-food-salary.. ZzZzZzZzZzZz...

Seriously intend to get car.. Even the cheapest car also can but no super-old-cars please.. Most prob when i get my 2A, i will get my superfour.. Then will go survey and see if paying more down payment can reduce the monthly payments or not.. Anyway, will be cutting down on my internet, cabletv and mobile so as to suffice for the car.. Plans had been made and i dun feel like changing.. Unless i can use my aunt's company name to get a car.. Hehe..

. . . . . . .

The 'I Love You' juz came out like that.. Easily, freely with no extra heartbeat.. Now i understand how it feels when u always ended a call with a 'luv ya'.. Juz so naturally.. So mutual.. And with an instant reply of 'me too'.. She did that without any hesitation. Exactly what i wanted.. Afterall the fire is not out yet.. =)

I'm not into short-term. Everyone sees far in the future but love is blind.. In fact, i'm worn-out long ago so i dun care much abt such.. If got, then got lor.. If dun have, then so be it.. To end it and start anew is total wastage of my time. There's no certain in the future. The next one may not be any better than current, the next one may be better than current. But is there a definite answer? I'm not into play-mode anymore. But if even FT cannot fit into my dictionary then i dunno wat i'm supposed to do. Frankly, i got no trust for MIS. Though i shld not discriminate juz becoz of a few bad sheeps, a rotten apple can caused whole basket of apples to rot even if not all, most of them still rot.. I dun have the patience to find the right apple. So, live and let live.

Weirdo

WEIRD!!! I rmb very very clearly that yest nite i'm still very sober!! I can even rode home!! But juz before i go slp i'm damn drunk!! WTF!!!!

Yest is my courts IT dept supervisor's bday celebration at Millions. Reached there early so went to makan a little at the prata shop then when walk past Whiskey(or was it qb?) Bar and saw Dawn and gang in there. Stare inside from the outside window. Dawn's friend seems so excited on seeing me. =.=" I mean.. I dun even rmb who is she... I dun even rmb her face.. Haha. Went in to disturb a bit before going for my makan. After makan, went back to millions with steven, chua and rebecca. Rebe is our IT dept manager.. 1st time official drink with her. Jasmin also there, the person who is really in-charged of all our stocks for courts IT dept.. Gary from Harvey also there. Desmond from Acer confirm there.. And many that i do not know..

There's this pink lady with black tube sitting next to Jasmin said that i look familiar. I think she's drunk.. Went over to say hi and i try to avoid that table.. Anyway, we got 3 sofa seats.. In the end, i was being dragged to that table to play game, i mean to get drunk.. Whenever losing a dice game and have to drink, Jasmin and her is like so excited machiam siao char bo.. Then that lady called me another name and ask me to drink.. They are drunk liao... Anyway, there's a case of someone's handbag lost and no one knows where she left it.. Even the police came...

There's this white blouse lady, quite big but she's quite old.. She kept revealling her 'valley'.. =.= Then when Desmond is dead drunk lying on the sofa and i was sitting beside him. The lady came over to talk to Desmond and she rest on my leg to talk to Desmond.. =.= I mean, u dun have to use ur that one to rub my pants. Will cannot tahan one lor.. ZZZZZZZZZZ.. Anyway, i dun even rmb her name and i dun even know who she is at the end of the day.. Btw, she's 42 i think. And her kid is 6.. =.= She was there with her bf and she was total goner liao yest..

Anyway, i need to go work liao.. Juz finished my report.. haha.. Wah lao seems like gonna rain again.. I think i really need a car.. Lolx.

Back..

Juz came back from a fast one at nana then go coffeeshop and let them enjoy the western food near my place at S11.. Actually that place i only tried the chicken chop and pork chop both also very nice.. But today they ordered sirlion and cutlet. No idea how is it for them..

Tml richard's bday think gonna go boat quay and pia beer again.. At least that's better than pia 3 martell... =.= Anyway, fingers crossed. Heard from richard today that meijun got 'loot' by weihao before de. A bit sian on that. lolx.. Maybe i shld start getting more open-minded. lolx.. Anyway, now wat century liao.. Unlike before lah..

Heard abt Taiwan trip juz now and i can freely say i can go. Gana disturb also dunno.. lolx.. To be frank, i dun mind going to taiwan, i mean especially taiwan coz it's been a long time since i last yearn to go there.. So even though were to go alone i will still wanna go.. =D

I got discuss with my colleague with overseas trip.. Mentioned that if i were to go overseas, i will not be booking a hotel before going there.. So that no matter where i wanted to go, when it comes to late nite, juz find any place to lodge.. Rather than chiong go back to the hotel.. So troublesome.. Haha...

okok enuff talk of holidays.. Make me wanna run away liao.. Lolx.. When tok abt taiwan i'm so excited.. lolx.. Wei wei.. My mind is clean one hor.. =.=" Juz wanna go there shopping and walk walk and see see nia.. Haha.. Relax only... I really need to relax my body, my mind and my soul..

Slacker..

Slack at home whole day on my off day.. Mind in a blank not wanting to go anywhere nor wanting to meet anyone.. Coz i'm juz being lazy.. Nua leh.. Yes i'm quite nua.. But no one knows it's my off day lah so no dates lor..

Wanted to go see 2a bikes de.. Lazy leh. lolx.. Though i really like sportsbikes, i guess i will still go for cruiser.. Get sporty and dun chiong seems like a waste of money.. Then if chiong, will put life at stake.. Siao meh.. If it's car, i will really consider racing lor.. Dun let me get the Integra.. Roar!

Even though i'm attached i'm as good as unattached coz i'm not the kind who will go around telling ppl i'm attached.. But when asked, i will not hide the truth.. Most impt is not love but life.. Living to enjoy life not love coz love is part of life. Everything starts with 'me'. If without 'me', there's nothing else are impt. If 'me' dun wan anything, u give me everything also pointless.. Juz being random.. lolx..

I guess Matt is rather upset as well as disappointed but wat to do? That's life and that's reality.. Reality is cruel and it's the fact that doesn't change forever.. Even if his goal is the same as mine, there's no way i can let him happy.. Coz this is not something to be given even to friends.. Unless both parties are willing parties then of coz i will let go.. Juz like that incident few yrs back.. Even though both of us are willing parties but we are not meant to be that's why that guy able to marry her.. If it's not becoz of the circumstances, there's no way i will let him win me. It's total nonsense that he had won.. But anyway, that's history.

Reality is really cruel.. If not why when we are born, we have to cry.. I believe when i die, i will smile.. Juz like many of my love ones leaving one after another.. Yeah this is my life's inevitable events.. There's no turning back but to walk on.

Found Marilyn in my friendster!! =D But i too shy to hit on her leh.. ZzzZzzZzzZzz.. Sigh.. Looking forward to the next meeting bah.. Can only see see from faraway. Sad.. I mean i juz wan her as friend lah. What u all thinking?!?! $&#$%&$%^&*% Seems like she's attached.. Good.. No wonder i'm attracted.. Lolx..

Yest rain is really cold.. Very cold.. Plus those words ringing.. Does all good things eventually will comes to an end..?

NaNa~~

Juz back from nana juz opposite my house with a little drenched due to the heavy rain despite the shelter.. =.=" Tequila and Martell.. Omg.. How i hate the teq smell.. Reminds me of that time at chalet with a broken heart and total goner from massive teq pops.. And then puke like nobody business.. And the smell of after puking is totally yucky..

The day before was with richard and steven and desmond and chua at BQ.. Went Millions with a barrel then to whiskey bar with a martell and 13 jugs of beer.. =.=" All beer craze.. zzzzz.. It was desmond bday and he was almost a goner.. At the very end, instead of sending him to his grave, i was disturbing him by asking him to 'da' lime juice.. Half half of coz.. Then richard came in for revenge by holding a jug of beer and said half half to me.. I was like knn i'm trying to get him to be sober and someone else wants me drunk. In fit of anger i challenged him to a jug of pure coke and we ended up in a huge quarrel.. The two cute waitress even got scolded by me for being slow in getting the coke.. I was really outta control that i vent my anger.. But both ended up ok in the end and i still managed to ride home.. =.=" Sunday still got one massive de by richard coz it's his bday.. wtf.. die die die..

Been drinking so much this mth.. Haiz.. So bad for health.. Think i should do something more healthy.. Maybe i shld join cel in her california fitness.. lolx..

Anyway, class 2A coming soon in less than a mth.. Guess when i pass it, high chance that i will trade up my TZM for a Superfour spec 1.. No point for spec 3 if i really intend to get picanto.. Vios seems a bit too big and dun really feel comfortable with it if i'm driving it.. But hey my TZM wasn't small for a 2B bike.. =.=" Think will be taking both together when the time comes..

To let go or to hold on, it's a tough choice for both.. She knows that i dun easily find a gal even though i can be that shui bian and can kiss her on the dancefloor at dbl-o that time.. Even though we are juz friends.. In fact, simply dunno why i feel i can trust her for now though at times my mind still went wild.. I really dun like a partner with nite life.. 1 is enuff and the history repeats.. Damn.. Hope she can juz leave her aunt's shop and finds her own..

Still rmb that the 1st time the two of us are alone in a room and nothing goes wrong.. We did not 'zuo cuo shi'.. We got so conservative meh..? I mean, i can be shui bian but not fan jian lor.. Somemore that time we both have had sake(jap beer) in us.. Jiu hui luan xing, but it's all up to individual lor..

The future is cloudy and i will leave it to fate.. Coz i did promised her that i will never do her wrong. When it's time to let go, will let go. This is an agreement we had for both as a commitment.. I'm sure she's more afraid of me doing wrong then she herself do wrong.. Coz i'm a guy and i dun really lose out.. She dun squander on me either.. Compared to several FTs that i had seen, she's still among the best.. At least non materialistic. Though at times i still will anyhow think.. Afterall i'm a human lor.. Blood and flesh lor.. Got feelings de lor..

My fave is not MICs but this one is a special case.. Unlike those in clubs and pubs, so complicated and in fact realistic plus materialistic. At least that's wat i've seen.. So many dancers at nana today and many had the looks plus great bodies.. But i dun feel 'clean' with any of those.. Frankly, to choose them, i rather go home slp, alone. Be it thai, MICs or sg.. I mean those that i do not know at all..

Got to know another called Stacey from Martin at Boatquay.. It's a pub named Martin.. Not very nice looking plus no figure but she can sing close to my ears by tilting her head towards me.. Though not splendid but ok lah, i'm very shui bian de.. A little warm will open me up.. Any gals can easily get close to me.. But none seems to really understands me.. Maybe the sign of water is really hard to catch.. But i'm a pure Aquarius.. It's juz me, myself and i..

Hiya

Lolx i think i really becoming a Nemo.. =.=" Adam 1st time call me that when i entered courts then now become everyone also call me that lol.... Nemo is a protected fish, for ppl to view not meant for eating... What it does is swim here swim there... Lolx..... Lame...

Think this mth will hit target i guess.. It's all about luck.. If this outlet really good then why Dave left? If this outlet no good then why Steven stays so long? Haiz.. Furthermore, the more the earnings, the more outgoing also..

That day when coming down from food court, a fat promotor suddenly say hi to me, scareded me a while.. I mean i'm here for almost 3mths liao then wats with the sudden? Then the samsung and epson also getting more friendly.. =.=" This is bad.. This doesn't really mean anything lah, juz that i dun need such things.. I only want sales or rather only her have more time with me.. The rest not really impt..

In fact coming to finding a partner, i'm really very anything de.. Haha.. But maybe too anything also no good lah.. Coz everytime when not intending to find another, more roads open up.. When really finding one keenly, none open up.. I'm always more attracted to same size as me de gals.. But dunno why always got attached to bigger size than me de.. Lolx.. Not really a bad thing bah.. Like means like, there's no why.. Though always easily shaken, also easily satisfied if u know how to go about it lah..

Actually i'm really feeling sad.. Juz quite empty.. Hollowness.. That's why when someone put in something, it can feel quite something.. Something warming.. But i'm yet to commit something wrong.. Haiz..

Jinlun came back from Sweden liao.. Last week went makan with the guys then mentioned on going on prawning.. Heard many times on prawning but never went once.. Haha.. So near my workplace and so near YX's home.. Maybe one fine day will go with the guys bah.. lolx..

Shag...

Finally met up liao but that din mark my day. Things din go as expected.. So near yet so far.. Things are planned swee swee but always din go the way.. Maybe, it really takes two hands to clap.. Too much of myself i guess..

When they are talking outside, i yearn to learn wat's the topic.. Instead of going out to hear, i simply drink drank drunk and act bochap.. Juz carry on drinking my martell and beer, pretending i din see anything and appeared i din see anything.. Purposely down so many glasses of mixture till so high.. Did i not trust him and her? Or i really did trust him and her? To be frank, everyone seems like strangers to me.. I felt so alone that i put my walls up high.. Defending, trying to hold back everything and stuff myself in a bottle.. Celly always said dun do that coz one day i might juz broke down and malfunction.. Well, maybe that's me myself and i...

I juz felt helpless and something words do get stucked in the throat.. Communication is the key but i do not have the key..

Dawn told me to stay strong and have faith.. Juz like how she did and is doing.. Never to give up so easily despite the hollowness, emptiness and faithless.. Walls are still being built though but not let go.. Some says holding on is strong, maybe it's juz letting go. Bullshit, she says.. Contradicting leh..

To focus on work, so many stress and politics... So tiring..
To focus on home, so many problems.. So tiring..
To focus on friends, so many fakes.. So tiring..
To focus on love, so many questions and doubts.. So tiring..

I no longer knowing what to do or what i should do.. Feeling like backpacking and go taiwan alone.. At least there is safe lah, not that i dun wanna go elsewhere.. Simply running away for awhile where no one knows me, no one finds me, no one contacts me..

I cut my hair till super short again.. It's always when something happens then i would do that.. But anyway, short is better lah.. Coz at least after using my helmet, hair not so messy.. Maybe i shld maintain it this way..

Yesterday was a flop day.. Went to Millions and open a bottle worth $188 while waiting for Jason, Brandon, Jo, Jess, Alicia, Richard, Desmond and Steven. Alicia came 1st then Brandon and Jo. When Desmond came, ordered a barrel for them.. Smoking with Alicia and brandon outside then jess came. After that Jason came and awhile later Richard came.. Steven came last and he din recognised me when i'm smoking outside.. haha.. After the gathering and massive drinking and mix here and there plus a little lousy pool, i see Alicia to the cab then took a stroll to Nana and meet up with the rest. Kelvin Toh is there waiting for us.. Thai disco is not a place for me afterall... Though music is ok lah.. The place is so familiar to me that brings back memories.. Yeah, Devil's Bar memories.. Not memories of Alicia though but the bunch of gals.. Not only the bunch but also with Erica and Celly and one more gal but i forgot the name..

The future is not important to me anymore and i dun wanna care anymore as well.. Live and let live. Can only take a step and see a step..

We had always tried to match the two up and that guy always mess things up.. Too many points to minus liao.. When he sees a rival, immediately withdraw bit by bit.. I did told him that luckily i'm not his rival, if not i will be an even stronger rival.. Having said that, his friend really thought that i wanna snatch the gal away from them.. Coz she saw me being quite close to that gal at Chamber 82.. I told him off that day. He can talk so freely to his lady friend and yet he is wordless to that gal.. 1st time nia mah, also no need to be so gan jiong.. Juz be urself lor, get it or not juz leave it to fate.. Even if doesn't get, it doesn't mean the end of the world.. Juz like my current rs, if it's gonna fail, the globe still spins and doesn't wait for me..

Today is another sunless day.. Cloudy, windy, rainy.. Suit my mood.. Gonna be lazy today..

Dunk Drank Drink

Today seems to have a bit too much from access room.. I was about to type sassy bar.. =.= Seems totally gone.. Anyway, sudden got to urge for some noisy music.. Think i had a bit too much on ktv pubs.. Time to go back to dbl-o..

The feeling of loud beat with the martell kicking in.. Shiok... Maybe with some other drunk gals to see.. Haha... Anyway, talking abt that.. There was a new promotor on my side at the bdd counter.. I mean digital counter.. Indeed quite cute.. On sat when i walk past there, immediate captivated by her smile when i saw her smile.. At me maybe lolx.. Ok she's juz being friendly.. Oh i thot i smiled at her first? o.O But then, i still did not have a chance to talk to her.. Or maybe i juz dun dare anymore.. Was it the ring that is holding me back or watever heck.. But who cares.. Samsung suddenly started to ask names.. Though today was the first day i spoke to her for the first time.. But well, too young for me.. I dun need another 'ex-bitch'.. I mean someone like her in terms of age not figure coz this tiny whiny got neither looks nor figure.. Jessie much better than her.

Sales came rolling in pretty good and smoothly but target still seems unreachable.. Too little stocks or no confidence in closing? Been stressing in clearing old stocks to be frank.. Haiz.. Spent too much time in packing.. ZZZZZZZZZ..

In fact there's quite a num of choices out there.. But i can't seems to trust any.. Was it a darkness that haven't goes away? Or was it that fate is not up yet? But no matter what, she is someone that i can safely trust, despite the emptiness that i felt and having.. Even though several weeks or even mths that i had last seen her, i feel that i can still trust her.. How come the feeling is so mutual..? Thought it shld be getting thinner and thinner then goes to naught? Frankly, i'm tired.. No strength and time to really do wat i wanted to do.. Even though i got the money and time, i juz dun feel so.. I even rejected a niteclub session that bound to be fun.. Damn wat's got into me..?

Think i'm really settling down my heart liao.. Wildful no more and playful no more.. Maybe it's better this way.. Seeing her with no more complains seems good.. Maybe it's hidden well behind her high walls.. Anyway, i would not know any of these.. Coz i'm juz a small fly.. Not the 'left-hand, right-hand' like before.. Ya, time flies and paper grows thinner.. I'm not even a paper..

Came across cel's webby lately and found that she's back into singlehood.. But nothing has changed coz she is still she and i'm still me, myself and i. Time is not the same as before liao.. Haha.. I'm also no longer the wx that most know.. Coz i'm Rick now.. But still why so many ppl call me Ricky...? #$%#$@#$!@# Hahaha..

Shag liao.. Time to sleep.. Still got to do report later in the morning.. =.= Nite. Sweet dreams. Dun let the mosquitoes bite, juz let me bite. Wahahahahaha~~ Duh.

Cloudy? Sunny? Stormy? Windy?

We dun have 4 seasons.. Sad... Ok juz being random.. lolx..

Was asked how come i did not change gf.. That question did not flash my mind.. No matter the weather, juz let it be.. Anyway, it's juz like as if i do not have one and i dun have to commit my time to anyone.. No need to go shopping, no need to go movies, no need to go find excitment. Shopping? Huiying volunteer accompany me go since my gf dun have the time for me. Movies? Waste money leh.. Later i sleep in the cinema how..? Anyway, no rushing to catch show lor.. I got SCV aka cable tv. Very soon the show will be in my tv, juz matter of time.. Excitment? I got my sales challenges.. Brain cells burning for the sake of that..

Everyone is saying reccession but who cares? My job is to get ppl to take out money and buy the computer for their essential needs. I'm not a finanicial planner nor banker. Helping ppl save money is not in my dictionary. I only want ppl to fork out their money to buy the things they need. Frankly i'm not being evil. If in the 1st time dun even come into my shop to see computers, why would i want to push sales? If got heart to see means got heart to buy. Can kill wrong cannot let go. Fail to secure a deal means a big thing. I'm no longer in NEC so the criteria is different. Too high basic pay plus no target with no motivation. Now is different. Too low basic pay plus too high target with super a lot pressure from all staffs thus i had to set my high standard. For company good, for own good. Money is not everything but everything is money.

Took train for two days, found that it is so relaxing and saved so much per mth if gonna calculate.. Wat i'm losing out is sleep but sleep is really not very impt.. Juz becoz of sleeping a little longer can caused me losing several thousands of sales.. Might consider selling off my bike since it's more dangerous and have to pay more for transport every mth.. Uncle still ask me to go take car.. He juz wan a ride home coz he staying redhill... But then hor, his pay is abt 4 to 5 times of my pay and he never even wanted a car.. I'm already trying to learn like him and he's luring me to temptations.. Haha..

Uncle dun wear gold chain nor gold rings nor gold watch.. That is when he is working.. That day at D & D, his rolex worth more than $30k... His golden spectacles cost at least $500 i think.. His gold chain doesn't look cheap either.. But at work, he look like a typical uncle who earning $1500 per mth.. But who can believe he can hit 10 times more?

Thinking of that, my leather shoes really need to change liao... But i dun feel a need for it even though it is torn.. The diamond in my ring is a fake but i dun feel a need for luxury.. My bag is so worn out and old.. But still can use ah, why the heck do i need a LV? My pen keep on losing one after another, but why the heck do i need a Mont Blanc? All these are juz materials that will fade. Why so stupid waste money? I dun understand.. I can buy a brand new shirt juz specially for Brandon's wedding and wear it for only once. But i dun really need anymore clothings coz i dun even have much chances to wear them..

Anyway, when doing sales if u look rich and smart, that doesn't mean ppl will definitely buy ur product.. It's the service that u gonna provide and the neccessary info that customer needs when he intends to buy. Simple, juz tell him this this and this. He might juz buy it since everything mentioned fit what he needs. Whatever. Juz like when u serve him/her several times and no responds then simple let go coz another fish might be on ur way. Waste no time coz time is too short.. I always got not enuff time to hit my personal target.. Quite a few times short of a few sets.. I swore to surpass my payout and beat it every mth. At least i try and if i fail, i did not let myself down.. If it's not gonna kill u for trying so hard, it will make u stronger. Think the tension in the arena is great but Acer is still doing well. Gotta try harder.. I cannot be 2nd in place ah... Coz pay is 4 times lesser is miserable.. At least 2 times less i can still take it.. Wtf with the payout for a mid-rank staff but among the highest payout. 2yrs younger than me and his cpf is maxed out and no need to contribute cpf coz too much money liao exceed limit liao for his age.. wtf wtf wtf..

Motivation..

Lately been like crazy.. Trying to aim $20k sales per day. lolx... But i'm really serious abt that.. Coz my pay is way too pathetic and not up to my requirements. I think i'm really hungry.. Compare to those staffs i'm really earning peanuts.. Working here is an entirely total diff enmity and everyone forever seems so hungry.. When the sales going good i wanna strive for the best.. Anyway, juz like wat Acer says, all the way till the EOY is gonna be my branding.. Since everything is to my benefit as well as staffs benefit, why not juz close deals to the max? Since everyone is so hungry, why not? When mixing around with 5-digit ppl, gonna always feel hungry.. Enough is never enough.

Took MRT to work and back.. The journey is so slow-paced while the ppl around me are like rushing for time.. However, when my engine started at work everything is so fast-paced and i feel energetic and made me almost wanted to close everyone i see, no matter PK or MSN or NAP. $20k per day during high tide can be achieved with the right mindset. 6days more to go till new spif. Gonna close deal like every customer is so rich, machiam comfirm deal for every customer served. No time to waste much. Want to buy juz come sit down and open invoice. 5-10min close deal shld not be too hard i believe, from wat i had seen.

Where's my cheese?

Pay got delayed. Sian 1/2.. Courts D & D on Wed nite.. Was being jio to go drink and maybe go TNN a bit.. Reluctantly agreed coz thinking wanting to ration a bit this mth.. Need to pull connections.. Bo bian leh.. Lolx.. PR..

Wasn't much into beer but still those are beer-drinkers... Haiz.. Try my best lor.. Juz now drank a bit with them at coffeeshop.. Then rode home. Still sober lah so quite ok.. Anyway, weekdays are fine..

Told her pay did not come in then totally no respond. Ok lor, u do wat u like. MYOB then. Pissed.

Time to sleep. Maybe later sentosa. Haha..