21^th July 2007

Updated 3 entries due to lack of time…

Was supposed to go Vivo.. Too busy liao.. Ya I know u miss me badly.. Sorry sweetie, I will try my utmost effort to go meet u up this week-end.. =) Chill ok..? hehe..

Saturday dun need to work, same goes for Sunday.. So nan de and that tracy tempt me on ST. James.. =.=” Met up with Kelvin for pool then to sim lim sq for dinner with ex-colleagues.. So much to catch up seems nothing much to catch up.. I guess I’ve shut the door.. haha.. Joined Vince and Kelvin to Orchard Tower that night.. Thai Disco cum Thai Live Band. Pretty ok lah but no so for what I expected, in some ways.. *grinz*

It’s seriously been a long time since I last drank.. Thus, Chivas on the rock all the way.. And that Kelvin kept knocking on my glass.. =.=” Please leh I’m drinking rocky and you wan me to drink so much and so fast… zzzzzzz.. Kinda not much kick after abt 8 glasses of neat-rock and Vince is very sian..

Therefore, Tanjong Pagar here we come.. Lolx.. It’s meant to be an eye-opener for Vince, as it’s nothing new to me & Kelvin.. Early this yr we had been going already… SHHHHH!! =X Anyway, this no longer concern her. So, fuck it. =P

Not much gals there, mostly being taken.. Order a jug of beer and we started beo-ing.. We are like fishes ready to be hooked. =.=” Got his long straight hair small boobs gal approach us.. Without me knowing it, Kelvin already order 5 Tequila shots as Ladies Drink.. After downing the beer and the chemical reaction inside, I’m almost a goner so I was dancing all the while without caring the surroundings even if there are gals out there..

Was kind of teasing the lady with Vince hands, trying to lead him on.. In the end, he’s enjoying it.. lolx.. Kelvin almost gone already.. He’s too troubled. Well, fark lah gals only mah. Why bother when we are finding other gals to enjoy right now. =.=” Commitments sux.

Saw a pinky dancing with an Ang Moh.. I kept looking at her till she notices.. Gave her a smile and carried on my dancing.. Moments later, she came over to the counter next to me.. From behind I knew it was her.. I lean forward against her lightly and asked for her by whispering into her right ear.. Erm, dun ask me what’s her name coz I forgot.. Lolx.. As if I care. After asking, I back off and carried on my dance.. She turned around and danced with me. =.=” I know what u wanted, too bad I ain’t giving it to u honey. Lolx. Like I said, gals are all bullshits so they ain’t getting anything from me. Somemore I’m pretty high but sober till the extend that I loved dancing at that very moment.. Even after being rejected, she’s still being persistence.. =.=” I wrap my hands around her thru her waist to her lowerback and whispered into her left ear, “Sorry darling, not today.. You see that Ang Moh on my left? Go get him.” *Smile*

Kelvin was so busy on his hp all night and Vince was so busy with that lady. So, I carried on dancing. And then behind Vince, there’s two more ladies and they seems to be looking at me.. Do I look like a delicious fish to them..? =.=” Anyway, I dance forward slowly with dancemoves and get up-close to them.. When I’m there, did several sexy dancing on them without touching them yet seems almost touching them, anywhere..

Nothing much that night.. Was pretty drunk and wasn’t in the mood for companionships.. When I reached home, almost concuss immediately.. =.=” And I remembered something intrigue.. I wonder why the hell did I introduced myself as Derek to the ladies.. =.=”

20^th July 2007

Finally back from ICT. Pretty much expected that it gonna be a chalet of relaxation wasting our time but a time to gather friends. =) See the changes of each and everyone.. Time flies. Enlistment for army was half a decade ago… I’m already at Cat Y.. Oh, age is catching up and nothing done yet.. As usual, at night everyone is ‘reporting strength’ whereas I tucked in early since I decided to keep away from the world.. Inevitable, she’s been asked... =.=” Nothing much mentioned, not worth being mentioned. Some knows, some dun.. But who cares.. Edwin again gave me another compliment of my past.. Doesn’t matters coz it’s the past.

Pretty pissed that I had to take bus.. Luckily got Chan with me.. Haha.. Damn next ICT I will comfirm have my bike. =D

13^th July 2007

Shag.. Every mth estimated 64hrs of OT on top of the 44hrs/wk. Son of a bitch, i'm a workaholic.. No choice I guess.. $900 salary per mth, gotta be like that.. =.=

Some ppl very funny. When i'm not working, kept pestering and nagging me to go work while I wanna rot my life away.. Now that i'm working my life away, kept pestering and nagging me not to overwork myself.. Life's a bitch. Forever no one is satisfied no matter what.. Life's sux.

Suddenly thought of joy today.. =.= How the hell does that happened..? How possible I had those past memories in my head..? Zzzzzz..

Not even half settled a mountain, another mountain coming.. Haiz.. Stupid ICT gonna take away almost$500 away from me for not able to report to work for 5days.. Wah kao and will give me that useless amount of money as compensation. Pui. $500 exchange for $100. I rather go work 12hrs daily instead of that ICT which gonna be chalet in camp for the 5days.. I dun need leisure nor relaxation..

These few days the devil and the angel kept attacking me.. Almost lead me to public confession.. Really want it meh..? I seriously shld not be like that..? Am I wrong in the 1st place..? Wouldn't that be the same as the frozen..? Delusions that mislead me to gateway to solitary with extreme self mental torment..? If were to reveal, there's gonna be a big risk in doing so.. And this blog of 100+ posts had to be deleted for good or be abandoned for good.. Begone and for forever till eternity.. Never to turn my head to eat the grass behind me and I mark my words unlike most who merely said something for the sake saying.. Anyway, I shall put it on hold for the time being..

Till now still no one to prove my logic wrong, and I had to clear myself of that.. Friendships last forever, relationships do not. Well, i'm wrong about this too.. It's all bullshit. Coz friendships will not last forever either.. Each and every of us had our own life, own problems. Not everyone will always be there, ready and available.. I said jasmine knows me the best but now leh? Nothing much, nothing heard, only the usual stuffs.. I said celena was one of my closest friend, well she was too busy with her work as well as time for her guy too.. Priority calls, I understand nor do I blame.. =) Got another whom I said she understand me too well juz like a worm in my stomach.. It's been mths since we last contact I guss.. Drift and drift, drift wherever the waves bring.. This is nature, this is life.. So, since even friends can become distant, why the fear of losing after rs? If u destined to lose it, u will lose it eventually.. Would u rather let a knot to be undone/untouched and live in regrets for eternity..? U never try, u never get the answer. Life's like a box of chocolates, u will never know what kind of chocolates u will get till u open it.

Though I did mentioned 'same'. That doesn't really mean anything nor everything. Some of the treatments might be the same, but not entirely.. Though similar, there's still a big different.. The big different is that, I loved her. Dun think u would get my meaning either. =.= Forget it. If u still dun wake up your ideas, u might lose it for good.. My sis is different becoz she's my sis.

There's only one person left who will never fails to make me laugh and laugh along with me. Mere words of teaser, mere words of sweet-nothings, mere words of suan-ing, mere words of anything, mere words of everything. We can juz go gaga and laughing our ass off.. Lol.. Seems that so far so good.. Haha.. Shall see. Where's our clubbing sessions?

I'm tired talking/communicating with stupid gals. Non-intellectual talks turn me off and piss me off even more with nonsensical brainless stuffs. I wonder do all stupid gals use their boobs to think. Wah kao. Disgusting. Already so small, use to think also no use.

I'm feeling it. Again? Haha.. Bored already? I felt it. There's no way a leopard can change its spots. =X Anyway, pretty normal lah. Haha.. It doesn't really matters at all. Coz if these shits dun happen, u are not the gal that I knew. So juz be urself and juz do it. =D Be scandalous, be daring. Juz like Nike, juz do it. =) lolx.. =P

Jeanette, where are you now? How are you getting on? =( Think grace also no longer in contact with her.. Think ben also no longer in contact with grace.. It's been almost a decade since she last went into Girls' Home.. Isn't there any way to find back her..? Only if that time I insisted her to come over Jurong to stay with me.. Haiz.. It's my fault.. My incapabilities.. =(

Jeanette & Grace, juz like Ruyou & Danlin.. Seems similar to me..

This ain’t no Déjà vu. =.=”