O.o

It's how amazing u can score points from an impossible 3-pointer. =.= And i never even say anything neither hint, and u 'chop'. In it goes. =.="

How do i let go? I mean i'm juz tired.. Forgotten how to emo, how to enjoy, how to happy, how to sad. Numbness got me. "emotionless" she said. That's bad, utter suffering..

Staying focus is wat i wanted now... Not in my job, not in love, not in family. Well then, guess it already..? Sometimes its not i dun share but no point to.. It will not affect others so why not bottled it up? This way, no one else will get infectious by the troubled virus.. Anyway i dun need help nor do i seek help.. So be it..

I never needed love, juz maybe there's someone there beside. Dun even have to talk, dun even have to touch me.. Serenity is wat i love best. At somewhere quiet all by myself or maybe with another, enjoy the quietness and calmness when midnight falls..

All i need is simplicity though i shown complications to confuse and yet acting blur like a bloody bastard.

Yet to find that feeling back..


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o.O

Nabei the feeling of feel like getting drunk is back again.. ccb.. So pissed with this feel coz it juz came out of the blue knn.. No emo-ing somemore can get this urge to get drunk. Nabeiz..

Juz came back from malaysia with dawn and weihong. He 1st time eating lok lok and like so happy and fascinated like that.. Juz like leon that time.. -.-" Well, i'm not worried abt this guy DTB thus i can trust him. In fact not only i dun trust gals, i dun trust guys as well.. But somehow or rather, i feel i can trust him. =.=" But die die i wun trust that dawn.

A week before i mentioned i would take thurs off then can go sentosa with her and juz now she's happily arranging for programmes on thurs. "silence".. Well, i shall meet up dessy then...

Too many situations too many points lost will deteriorate the in-between... Well, points are easy to lose but hard to gain..

That night at the chalet was msn-ing celine for few hrs i think.. Then mentioned that despite she slept for only 2 hrs and still wanna go chalet with me.. =.=" Juz wanna find things to do and stick to me only.. And she said, "That's so sweet of her.." Well, that do shaken a little.. Nabeiz... Heng i did not fall down right in sia.. =.= Despite me saying i will not accept any sg, that's afterall juz a strong front.. Nabeiz.. Nabeiz.. Nabeiz.. No matter what i will find one hundred and one reasons to suppress that! Though she always tickle by saying it only needs one reason to... Nabeiz. No way.

Stopped all the unnecessary words and actions, or rather i can only lessen.. I dun wanna invite unwanted stupid things. All i wan is only for the plan to be executed and worked.. That's my main source of life not love. Fark, like hell i would die without it. But i juz dun understand majority would die for it. Thus, i shall get married soon.. LOLX ironic..? Not really, coz i juz need one to buy a flat. =.=" The government says so.

"Sg gals are so material. Wan more money, wan be taitai, dun wan simple life, dun wan get married, dun wan babies."

Well, many foreigners would comply otherwise. Now i know why so many guys go outsource.. It isn't a bad thing afterall..

New lease

Shocking news from rebecca. =.=" She said everyone also know and she's the last to know, then if she's the last then i will be the last last. =.=" Lolx.. Jokes aside on that day, dun take it seriously ah, manster. =x

Late night went over to kovan to meet up the guys and chat all the way till almost 2am.. =.=" In fact, it's very brief and overall of everything.. The plans, the kicks-in, the resolutions, the problems, the activities, the foreseen upcomings, etc..

Things gonna get busy... The passion is on, the blood is boiling like an adrenline rush.. I hope i'm not too positive till they are scared of me.. =.=" When one objective is clear, one will work towards the objective no matter what are the hurdles ahead. Slacking off is not a question, i'm only scared nothing to do.. I dun mind everything caught me till i got not enuff slp every now and then or till my both hands are so full.. I only scared i got nothing to do.. All i'm left is time and time is not enuff, it's short.. If wanna strive, i wanna strive high. Arbo pull down. I dun like to waste time and effort doing fruitless thing. Believe in it and strike. Now or never, we had all came halfway of lifetime.

A lot of brain cells burnt.. Scared gonna no time to do my own things and for friends.. But if fruits are what i wanted, sacrifices are must-do. I love gaming, i give up. I love pool and drink, i give up. I love relaxing, i give up. Mind must be in a state 24/7 thinking how to get the 200 grands. Nabeiz.. Even if the rest hack care and nua, i would also wanna carry on and head to that goal..

Quote from her again..

"To love someone who will never love you back is like trying to get a perfect score in a non-recorded exam."

Nabeiz... Isn't it like u would live in fairytale and live happily ever after..? =.="


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Back from supper

Mum went CWP to find me.. =.=" She went out with her friends so drop by cwp.

Supposed to send her home 1st before meeting dawn and her friend to geylang to eat supper.. Asked mum if she wanna go and she said she's fine with it so we went lor..

Ordered fu kin min and yee min.. AKA hokkien mee and yee mee. Wtf afterall i'm a cantonese kia ok! I juz dun feel like speaking in cantonese.. And i juz sang a bit chen xiao chun song wo bu shi wei ren two days back in martin.. Long time no sing liao..

After food, dawn's friend walk back home as he stays nearby then i send her home before heading home with my mum.. indeed whole day like no mood like that.. Well, i really not emo-ing lah nor am i sad.. Dessy asked me in msn why i sound so sad like that, as in thru words he could actually 'feel' it! Nabei... No wonder he got so many gals friends... Oops! =x Well, actually i also not less but much lesser than him and i mean much much lesser than him.. Lolx..

In fact, after my these two ex, i had drift away from a lot of gals liao.... When i'm attached, there's no point in having so many close gals to me what.. No fair to partner.. And yet, things can happen despite a little commitment.. =.=" I cannot promise that i will not anyhow eat but i can guarantee i will not anyhow eat.. Promises are meant to be broken.. At least, that's wat i believed..

Time is running out and there's no ways and also no point to draw in more gals into my circle.. Tired.. Shag.. So dead..

Next wk i supposed, everything will be up and running.. The plan will be put into action and execute.. Time will never be enuff.. Pls make it fruitful.. Even though it may not turn out fruitful, i dun wan to regret.. Living in regrets..

I'm so into her words/phrases.. It's been a long time since i last felt someone who can really catch my attention in her mind rather than look.. The undisclosed "the one" was the one whom i admire her chinese phrases.. Lately gotten back in contact with her liao but that feeling no more le.. =.=" A shadow is what that's left..

I think when we two really comes into contact, there might be lots to share between life and experiences.. It's been long time since i can find someone whom i can comfortably talk to.. Usually i merely talks a little.. No one really break my ice and let me speak my mind freely without the barrier being the devil.. Like what celena did? o.O But that feeling is long gone.. Sorry sweetie, not that i dun wanna find u.. =( I miss the esplanade days...

Tired sia.. Seems like always not enuff slp..

If u wan me to close my wings, i'm afraid they might not open anymore.. Every single little thing can close the wings by certain percentage.. The max is 100%.. Every single little thing can open the wings by certain percentage too.. Closing is easier than opening... I'll leave it to fate and ur own doings.. It's not every single gals i'll do that for her..

Ever since last wk, i realised that she never deleted my sms.. =.=" If not how come my singtel keep on beeping instead of my m1? o.O Or was it becoz i mentioned only dawn msg me on my singtel that's y i was being beep on that fone also? Lolx.. Shi wo xiang tai duo.. Ni zhong zhe yang shuo... Lolx.. Time to slp. =.="

A broken vase can never be perfect again no matter how hard u tried to fix it back.. All that's left are memories for us to keep. There's no turning back nor a need to turn back..

My principle as usual.. No matter the pain, i shall embrace it with a smile, not tears.

I'm glad u still keep my tweety bird.. I've lived my life for you, now i shall live on for myself..

Loved ya, XL. =)

Alcohol and beer are no longer my best friends. =)

Clarification: I'm not only into MIT or MIV or MIM or watever u could think of. I'm a simple guy who NEEDS a simple life with anyone, though life itself is not simple as it can be.. Juz that, pure sorrows that brought no confi in the future..

Every step could mean something.. I dun juz drift for no reason.. Instincts are sharpen so naturally that i could feel as if i'm a mimosa.. Someone said that's the so-called "walls".. Nevertheless, i believe 'it' will stay strong and long-lasting enuff as a protective layer..

Wu hua bu ying feng. No flower doesn't attracts bees. I said to her before in my chinese blog and she knew the hint.. Wu feng bu tou mi, she countered. =.=" I'm not juz the typical mammal or beast or animal..

I've felt it again.. The non turning on of msn.. The 'starhub effect'.. It's all becoz of certain situations or maybe someone or maybe some ppl.. I'm sensitive to little changes in reactions.. Falling back is not a choice but an alternative reality. Yup, the truth is ugly though it doesn't concern me at all.. When i spread my wings, that doesn't mean will spread for eternity.. There's no such thing as forever..

Twilight is afterall a fairytale, it's reality that we are living in and facing against..

It's been more than 24hrs since i last slept in.. Tired and shag out...

Drinking nite

Juz reached martin after mr lin zehuan cedric wedding dinner at Swissotel The Stamford.. Half a glass of beer and half a glass of red wine at there...

Adam came with me to Martin... Hmmm dunno if i can post this here lolx.. Anyway he only come a while to relax..

Dawn's at Zouk now.. =.= She said she coming over later. Dun feel like getting drunk nor did she..

Roadshow at cwp starts mon. Need to reach 888 at 9am for breakfast.. 9.30am to be at cwp to do setup..

As predicted, booth is expected to be late again... The last roadshow was late for one and half day... =.=

Dun think will be drunk tonight.. Sense something unusual today... Hope i'm wrong.. I dun wan anything..

Saw her 'blog' few days back.. It was posted on the 10th this mth.. I long time no go there liao.. Anyway she's fine at there.. Holidays with her husband.. =)

So, it wasn't love afterall anymore.. 'worry' is not love, someone told me..

Time to let go fully.. Memories are all that's gonna left inside... =)


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Shag out

Super tired sia.... Now still at toh guan road... She's happily sleeping in my car.. And i can't slp coz its dangerous. =.=

Now its like almost 10am and the sunlight is so bright and the weather so hot and she can still slp so soundly.. =.=


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stupid iphone

Nabeiz lah all contacts gone.. Sibei tulan.. Shitty iphone can i smash u?

Since the day i said i will not accept u for u are so much like her, the agreement had been verified..

But why does it still bothers me when i am the one who said that and swore on that..?

Contradicting as usual...

Juz like how 10yrs ago how i rejected the gal that i like yet i denied the fact so firmly juz becoz i felt i'm not good enuff for her despite her not even minding anything...

Status is juz a material fact, if not how the hell would i have had accept a wife as my gf.. Initial still thot it's juz a game, afterall it's all my fault that i dunno how to hit-and-run... Always hit and dun run... That's why i'm afraid of these games and wun even dare to play with fire and remain cold-blooded..

Everyone are talking abt her and me.. Well, really nothing between us... I really treat every single as my own and i dun see any wrong in those.. If such meant something, wouldn't every single gal are my targets? Then wouldn't i have been super duper busy?

Maybe i'm not juz cut-out to be the typical guy-next-door or guy-sure-like-that or guy-only-want-one-thing. I'm juz an abnormal guy. So naturally will be outcast bah..

Aquarius, the air of mystery. Why the heck i fall onto that. =.=" Maybe it's juz me..