Affairs of the hearts. It is a real chim thing. No one can really fully understand and accept how it goes abt.. Feel like revealing some of my secrets which not known by most... But some i dun wan them to see these.. Anyway, time might be running out.. So be it..

Who knows Winjean? A gal whom i chase for ages and ages but to vain.. This gal was my friend's friend whom he gotten her hp on the streets. He tried wooing her but fail so he pass to me her contact. Chatting to her was fun. She's very chatty and happy-go-lucky. Machiam no temper at all.. Her voice is sweet and smoothing. Any guys who heard her will really melt.. haha.. She looks pretty yet cute. Good figure and petite-looking. Any guys would love her whoever sees her.. We started out fine as friends. After some time, i intend to give it a shot but i failed. However, i dun wanna give up. So, we still stay in contact. Then once, i heard that she loved one of the song sung by an unknown artist.. His name is two words de.. I heard that song too but really duno who that singer is.. My friend knows who is it but he dun wanna tell me. So, i'm left all by myself. I went searching for the album and test out those songs.. Searching high and low at Tower Records and HMVs. Both also dun have.. One big prob is that that singer is not popular at all. Somemore, that album is his 1st album and also an old album.. And the worst thing is, he dun reveal how he look like.. Darn.. Not much clue, how to find sia.. Searching for quite some time liao, there's once i came across this normal small music shop.. I went in and give it a try.. Saw this album which is blue in colour.. I look at the back and go thru the songs titles.. I request for a try of this album. However, the salesgirl says this is a pretty old album and the songs aren't very nice. Thinking back, since it's opened, it's worth a try. So, i play the cd and directly played the song i find suspicious.. Bingo, i got it. hahaha.. Lady luck is smilling at me. ^^ I bought that cd and pass it to winjean. She was happy. So am i.. haha.. Can't really rmb the rest i did for her.. Anyway, these drag on for years and i finally gave up..

Who knows abt Karen? She was my ex.. We've been together for abt 8-10mths.. That's before i enter NS.. I knew her on the net in IRC that time. I used to frequent a lot in IRC in #SP. Coz i'm studying there as well. After toking to Karen that time, i learnt that she's in electrical engineering. Same engineering blocks but seriously i've got no idea which is her.. lolx.. I request a pic from her she also say she dun have a scanner.. Haiz.. Wanna meet her up but was declined.. *sob* Known her for quite some time liao i came across another gal who lives at Pasir Ris.. Met her a few times and we got together.. Every morning i would take the 1st train to Pasir Ris then a cab to her place and picked her up then send her to her school then i go back to SP for my lessons.. Some thot that i'm mad or wat.. But in my mind is that, i wanted to cheerish everyday together with my love one.. No matter how hard it gonna be for me.. Each day i will treat it as my last day.. However, things do not work out fine. We splited after abt 2wks.. Haiz.. Yeah, ever since then, i'm not that 'sticky' anymore.. Karen and me become more and more close.. Juz like closest friends.. By then i've quitted Poly and went to Sim Lim Sq and work.. She started her attachments.. Both of us are working but still able to find time to sms each other..

Then suddenly, there's once i asked her..
"Do u want to be with me..?"
"Erm.. i'm not sure.."
"Then how..?"
"I ask u 1st.. Do u want to be my bf or Pillar-Support?"
"Huh? got diff meh?"

"Got.. I will rely more on my Pillar-Support rather than my bf..."
"Oh.. I will wish to be both lor.."
"No u can't.. u can only choose one.."

In the end, i got her as my gf.. There's only one thing i said "I'll be your 1st and best.." I thot things might be better for me.. In fact, my nightmares have yet to come.. I have not seen her before and i asked for her hand.. I have not seen her and i got into the love-web.. I have not seen her and i put in all my heart into it.. After some time, i realised that she dun wan to meet me at all.. We are juz "cyber"... I tried my best to ask her out but fail.. Haha.. I was enlisting on 12th Dec and her bday falls on 7th Dec.. I feel that my chances to move her is coming.. Her family was not rich and she was working part-time and studying at the same time.. Tough on her.. Same goes for me... I knew that she long wanted a new hp.. But dun wanna buy it.. Couldn't bear to buy it.. She wanted a Nokia 7250, that time it was the most hype hp in the market.. i Knew she wanted it before i started out with her.. So, my planning came.. I got her address with a lot of efforts put in.. I bought that brand new hp.. I used up a mth time and effort in creating a CD with special efforts juz for her. I used wat i learnt from work and design that thing for her.. When the day came, i packed everything together and asked the post to come and collect the parcel and delivery it to her house on that faithful day. Her bday.. I succeed in moving her but still can't get her to meet me.. On Vday the nx yr, i use my peanut-pay from NS and got her a rice-pendant with both our name in it. This time i went to her place myself and drop it in her letterbox.. Still, unable to get her to come out..

I'm really tired.. I know i'm not good-looking. I know our relationship might turn sour when we meet. I know all these bad things and i'm well-prepared for it.. I know i might lose her if i were to meet her.. Wat i'm thinking is "If u love her, u'll need to let go.. If she comes back, she's yours. If she dun, let it be. Give her ur blessing to the next guy.." I'm really prepared for anything.. Wat i need is juz a chance.. Waiting in vain had tire me out.. Emotionally tired.. In the end, i told i can't take it anymore.. So we call it quits.. At 1st, she was really very reluctant to do so.. But after that she still agree.. "Cyber" wun get us anywhere.. She shld find a better guy.. it's time she move on.. That's wat i think.. So, we broke up.. However, that's not the end of everything.. There's still msg like 'hug' and 'kisses' every now and then.. Though broke up, the feelings are not dissolved.. Then i tried again to ask her out.. But still fail.. In spite of anger, i spilled out a hateful phrase.. "Forget abt me.. Dun ever find me again.. Be it online or offline.. Treat that i've never exist.." These words bite.. Really hurt her fully.. She called back immediately but i reject the call. I was in the bus that time.. She called a few times but i never pick up any.. It was raining though it was sunny outside.. Wat i am trying to do is to cease everything once and for all.. "Painful once and for all rather than dragging this on and on forever.." I knew it.. She hate me for wat i've done.. She hate me for wat i did to her.. She hate me for wat i've said.. She hate me for coming into her life.. She hate me for breaking those promises.. But there's definitely one thing she doesn't know.. I hate myself for wat i've done.. I hate myself for wat i did to her.. I hate myself for wat i've said.. I hate myself for coming into her life.. I hate myself for breaking those promises... (darn it.. i'm listening to Jay's sad songs rite now.. I hope i can still hang on..)

After some time, i felt that i'm really in the wrong.. I wanted to apologise to her. For all i've done.. But i was unable to contact her.. Sms her but got no reply.. In msn, she was not online.. Email her but got no reply.. Went her place to try wait for her but can't meet her. (i promised i will never go up to her place unless she say so.. and i dun wanna break another promise..) So, i waited at her place downstairs for duno waiting for who coz i've never met her... I got no idea how she looks like.. There's nothing i can do.. And i felt so miserable.. So, i locked my heart up.. I wun open up until she accept my apology and had found a new guy..

At the moment, there was this gal who started noticing me.. Pardon me for not revealing who this person is.. I do not wish ANYONE to know who she is.. Most of all, i DUN want HER to know this... There was this time we got a chalet.. Then at nite she said she wanted to go to the market to buy food. She dun wan her bf to go with her. Nor my the other two friends who were as close to her as i am.. On the way there, she suddenly shoot me a question.. "Will you woo me if i'm not attached..?" I was stunned for a moment but in a split second i ans back "Nope." Due to my quick reaction, she knows i will not like her.. After some time, she broke off with her bf.. Coz her bf is two-timing her.. i Shall not say somemore on this situation coz some would have guess who the gal is.. She cried hard and everyday.. I'm not the 1st person she tok to but the last person.. She was depressed.. everyday tok on the fone i could hear her cry and cry and cry.. everyday.. Nothing i can do but to lend a listening-ear.. I wanted to take out that guy and give him a real good time having pain all over.. But in the end i din, coz as time goes by, her wounds are partly healed.. Then she joke with me, "Nevermind. Now got a lot of ppl in my waiting-list! Hehe! Even ur 2 friends are in my list! =P Want me in it? I can consider.. hehe.." Immediately i replied "nope" again.. It's not that i dun wan to.. It's not that i dun wish to.. Several reasons here.. Firstly, i'm a bad guy while she is a decent lady.. Secondly, i've sealed up my heart.. Thirdly, i dun wish to be a sub.. Well, "Friends are forever, relationships might not be.. At least i'm not sure.." I dun wish to lose this very good friend of mine.. Never ever..

Then the nx gal who comes into my life is Celana.. The angel who freed me from my cage.. I've posted me and her before so i dun wish to repeat it again.. Unless Cel wants to. Haha..

Sometimes, i really find life boring.. When i treat a gal good, she thinks of motives.. Then when i dun treat her that good anymore, she thinks there's another gal in my life took me.. Gals are so hard to please.. I can treat her good no matter whether she's attach or not.. Two examples are Celena and Carisa.. Carisa is my best friend's gf. I love going clubbing, so is she and her groups.. But my best friend doesn't like those places. So, i'll have to take care of her for him. When playing guessing games, i will have to drink for her if she lose.. Need to take care of her from others when on the dance-floor coz of some ppl.. These two can treat me as normal so i feel comfortable with them. Unlike the few of them.. One of them is that, the more i treat her good, the more she shy aways.. Frankly speaking, if she really minds so much then forget it.. I always get her animes and comics. Borrowed from my friend and went all the way to Bedok and pass to her. When my friend chase me for those stuffs, i wun rush her for it.. At most i use my sis as an excuse and let him scold me.. Asking her out for a movie is like taking a piece of flesh outta her while she can go out with others.. Well, well, so be it. I couldn't care much.

Another gal is that she knows that i treat her good. I'm not expecting much though.. But one thing i hate is her actions. Simple little actions can get on my nerves.. For example, i meet her and her friend go market to eat. When we sit on the table, she sit next to me and her friend(whom i dunno well) sit next to her on the other side. Then i go order food. When i come back, she can switch seats and went over to the other side of her friend while i'm like sitting alone facing them.. I got virus ah? Darn. Same thing happens when we 3 go ktv, she can directly sit at the corner while her friend sit next to her. Haiz.. So tong ku for wat. Juz say so, i will still pay for everything then the two of them can go enjoy while i make my move. I see no reason why i shld stay on. Firstly, i was treated this way. Secondly, ever since i started listening to English songs, i've lost touch with all Chinese songs.. So i dun sing much.. Mainly i juz sit there and hear the 2 sing.. There was once i tok to her on the fone and found that she has not been eaten the whole.. No food at her bf's place and no cigarettes.. Me as a smoker, i know how it feel.. Me as a poor kid last time, i know wat is hunger.. So i went to buy her some food and a pack of cigarettes and took a cab to her bf's place. Oh ya, she's staying in her bf's place ever since they are together but her bf is not around for some reasons.. That time i went to pass her those things it's oredi passed midnite.. I got 2 bottles of vodka as well. My plan was to meet her, then find some place then she can eat while we chat.. But when i met her, she took the stuffs and go liao, giving some reasons.. Haiz.. Do i look like i will eat human? But anyway, i took those vodka and walk to a playground alone and start drinking and smoking.. Sitting there all alone in this quiet nite makes my mind run wild.. Have been reflecting why am i treating her so good.. Conclusion, out of pity.. I can treat a person so darn good even if i'm taken advantages.. Coz, in my dictionary, gals are born for guys to treat them good. I forgot where i found this philosophy.. But anyway, i've got bad habit.. When i wanted something and i can't get it, then after that it returns to me, i wun wan it.. Same goes for relationships.. That time i still planned on how to get a rented flat for her since she do not wish to go back home due to some family problems.. I even plan ahead everything.. How to work harder in order to have a better life.. But then, things do not go out smoothly so i trash the whole idea. I think she felt my cold shoulder.. But well, it's not becoz of another gal in-game to be blamed but herself. I can still treat her good but not as good anymore.. I'm not a spare tire. I'm not a money-tree. I'm not a punching-bag. i'm not a slave. Afterall, i'm a human. Made of flesh and blood. Nothing much to explain. I've seen thru liao. There's no possiblity we can be together. Nothing will work out. I'm not in for short-term. If u wanna play, there's tons of guys outside and inside. I dun wish to be like that also.. I'm forced to. He bi zhe me tong ku ne? Yi liao bai liao. Cang tong bu ru duan tong..

She did hint me something.. But i couldn't care less liao.. Though i myself can be painful to say some things but it's better that way.. I'm not in the mood for this.. Well, peeps.. i'm gonna go slp liao.. Tml still got a few things to settle.. Oyasuminasai.

Too many things in the head is indeed a bad thing.. However, not everyone are fortunate to have only the happy times.. Everyone got their ups and downs.. Been drinking for the past past days.. Been smoking heavily the past few days.. Parents can't assist me.. Friends can't assist me.. relative can't assist me.. Seriously, the world is a cruel world. As the saying goes, "Ren bu wei ji, tian zhu di mie". However, life still goes on.. I dun wanna give up.. Nor do i willing to give it up without trying.. As long as there's will, there's a way..

As for my work, i've got several offers.. Not to bad for me but those aren't really suitable for me.. Most of them want me for their own personal gains.. I've got some indispensible info of sources which are in high demands.. My company is the only one in Sim Lim Sq who owns the most of that new technology.. Though few shops are carrying some of the products.. However, Compared to my shop, they are nothing. My ex-boss is very particular abt these. He is a clever guy. He knows that if me and my colleague were to bring in these products from that source, his business is not gonna grow or somehow develope.. That is to say, both me and my colleague are very important ppl to him.

My colleague and i always work together. He brian-storm the ideas while i improve them, which makes us great co-operation and assistances. My ex-boss wants to open up a new company. However, due to low funds and there's no investor willing to invest, he's got problem getting the two of us into the new company as full-time.. Then my colleague suggested to him, we will be doing part-time for him as Sales executives. That is not the main coz he got quite a number of interested parties who wanted to get hold of these products to sell. Most dealers will go to him anytime easily so we are not really needed. But to manned a company himself is totally impossible.

Job scope:
1. Handling of sales purchases to dealers.
2. RMA services of suspected faulty goods.
3. Accountancy.
4. Setting up of showroom.
5. Getting ideas of wat demand in the market for advanced technology and also popularity.
6. Deliveries of goods.
7. Assembling of full sets of the products needed to be sold.

Can't think of anything else now.. But, really wun be able to handle EVERYTHING by himself. He needed us. But can't afford us. So, he told us he can only hire ONE of us. But well, we gonna work for him for the price of ONE.

Any human will know that we are stupid. we are dumbass. But that's becoz u ppl will not know our MOTIVE.. We are trying to show ppl that though we are paid peanuts but we are damn hardworking. Which boss wouldn't want to hire a person who is capable and hardworking? Even if he is capable but not hardworking, it's redundant. It is like a piece of shit.

When we are working for this new company, we will have peanuts pays, and those are not enuff to cover us for the entire month.. So, we gonna get better relationships with all dealers. Better relationships = better negotiations. And also better contacts for our Freelance. IE, got a customer went to a normal pc shop to fix his com and also wanted someone to install networking for his small firm but that pc shop only do pcs. They can contact us(Freelancers) and ask if we wanted to go his place to fix up his entire network for a price. In order to get such referers, we need to establish a real good relationship with that shop. Btw, thru a friend contact, we already got a comfirm job pending for us. And the pay is good, can last us for 2 entire week.

Another thing for ME is that i will be going to help out my Aunt as a part-time as well. Almost the same situation as my ex-boss but she had been struggling for quite some time.. My colleague will be helping me out as well. Coz we might have to do deliveries or collecting of money from those due-date-payments.

We two gonna work together with 3 jobs in our hands and split equally. If these planning gonna work out, it will not be a dream to clear off all my debts by the end of the yr and getting a new car by next yr. Muahahahaha..

Okok enuff of my plans and works. Juz been thru Cel's blog. There's 2 new posts. One of it is abt eating of dog-meat and also cruelty to animals.. I myself is a dog-lover, so i find these actions disgusting and ugly. Fact is a fact no matter u willing to accept or not.. Like i said, not everyone is fair in the world... Regardless of how we were to pity those lovely creatures, nothing can be done to stop it TOTALLY. Everyone needs to survive.. Everyone needs to work.. Some have to do this to make ends meet.. Conclusion: It's all MONEY's fault. Well, that's true.. Some can do things for the sake of money; some can die for the sake of money. Criminal acts, cruelty acts, indecent acts, etc.

Another post of cel is like that:
I hate...
1) Guys who appear at my doorstep without invitation.
2) Guys who overstay their welcome.
3) Guys who stubbonly refuse to leave even after fierce hissing and being told to go repeatedly.
4) Guys who promise things and don't keep to them.
5) Guys who use nicks like "(Frog Prince) misses Princess Celly" and then suddenly strike off my name and replace it with another girl's name. PRINCESS is ME. MY tag. Not anyone else. If you want to call her Princess, fine. Just don't blatantly change MY name to someone else's just like that. If you're doing it just to spite me, fine. I surrender.
6) Guys. They're bloody insensitive creatures.
7) Guys who insist on carrying my bag, and take the opportunity to look at my phone everytime it rings or beeps.
8) Guys who never fail to peek over my shoulder when I'm reading my messages.
9) Guys who behave like stubborn little brats.
10) Guys who can't keep their hands to themselves.
11) Guys who pester me like a swarm of bloody flies.
12) Guys. I fucking hate the male species.

Reflections tell me that luckily i'm not inside any category of the above mentioned except for number one. though i'm not sure if Cel remembers it. There was this time she was complaining of severe flu, coughs and dizziness. I rush over to a nearby pharmacy to get those neccessities and rush to her place and passed to her. Coz she was so stubborn that she do not wish to pay a visit to the doc.. And also refused to take any med.. She insist that she looks like a ghost and do not wish to meet me outside her place to get those stuffs that i bought. But i also insist in passing those to her so i went to her doorstep, press the bell and passed to her bro. Haha.. Well, well, dun think she's mad at for those but for someone else.. Her this post is for her ex, Leon. I strongly believed. She's sick of him for invading into her life and privacy.. That guy had indeed gave her a lot of problems and also the one who made her cry infront of me when i 1st met her.. Haiz.. I wanted to take out that guy for her but she dun wan to.. =.= Sad for her, sad for him. Sad for her is becoz of her situation. Sad for him is becoz of his character. Lived for almost 20 yrs still duno how to think.. OMFG.. Sad case. Better off dead.

Anyway, i'm tired liao. guess gonna end this. Min na, oyasuminasai!

I'm outta job..

Well, well.. We had predicted the storm beforehand. Nothing can be done to prevent this storm but preparation is a must. Yesterday, the three of us had been toking abt it. Discussing the plight this company is having and also our future. We expected this company to ceased operation in abt 2-3mths time or maybe end of this mth. This morning when we reach work, the news is broke to us. With evidence, he told us the whole thing that's happening in HongKong(where our base is located).

Top Universal (HongKong) had announced that Top Universal (S) Pte Ltd will ceased operation on 28th Feb 2005. Though expected, i'm still a bit startled..

Few concerns here:
1. My company loan has not been settled.
2. My local boss had found another investor but that might takes some time before able to start out. It might takes another 2wks or so..
3. I'll be going back with my boss to the new company to help him out coz of his responsible attitude & character.
4. Due to the unknown amount of time given, before the new one starts, it's almost impossible to find a job.. If i dun find a job, i will not be able to substain my needs. My needs are my hp bills, internet bills, home fone bills, water supply bills, electrical bills, my daily expenses, etc..

These 4 concerns are already enuff to make my head 'big' liao.. I wonder how i'm going to survive.. Haiz.. But anyway, life still goes on no matter how hard it gonna be. I wun give that easily. BTW, thx to those who offered to help. Financial helps are greatly appreciated but no thanks. I dun wanna get into more debts. 'Listening-ear' helps are greatly appreciated but no thanks as well. I'm gonna be busy looking for part-time job or FL(Free-Lance). Also need to go around and see wat i can do to help me cope with my debts. Hope my relatives can help.. Though a bit hopeless in asking them.. But whenever there's a will, there's a will. I can't let any go by. Anyway, i need to stop here for the time being. See u ppl around. Do take care.

Nothing much to post lately. nothing interesting to be known.. haiz.. life's boring eh.. haha..

Anyway, juz wan post some pics.

My doggie with fur

My doggie again with fur


My doggie w/o fur.. lol


Having some meat ^^


Give me ur cigarettes!!! Grrrr


See wat see?!?!


Do i look like Moshi Maru?


Me & cel at PS on my bday

Really feeling bored~~ haha~~ Going to bed soon.. Oyasuminasai~ ^_^

Hmm.. Juz read this from friendster. Got somethings to say. Read 1st:


> He was not handsome..But he had feelings..
> One day, he felt in love with a woman..A
> woman he really had a crush on..But he
> realized that he was not handsome..So he
> kept it deep inside his heart..
>
> He was not handsome..Knowing this, he still
> approached the girl he admired..Upon
> approaching her, he asked her name and
> asked for her number.. They came into
> contact with each other..The guy was happy
> and he felt nice talking to the lady..
>
> He was not handsome..He had to remember
> this all the time..He knew he couldnt say out
> his wish to the lady..However, one day, he
> took up the strength to call that lady..When
> he was about to pick up the reciever, the phone
> rang..It was her..His crush...His lady of his
> dreams..She asked him out on that
> night..There was no reason for him to say
> NO..That night, they went to a restaurant..for
> dinner..
>
> He was not handsome..This was proven to
> him at that night..When the lady told him that
> she had a crush on a guy..He was crushed
> into pieces by his own crush..but he didnt
> say a word..He knew it..He was not handsome...
>
> He was not handsome..and he knew he
> wont get his girl of his dream..So he intended to
> help the lady out..He took the lady to the guy
> whom she had a crush on..After a week, he
> saw the lady dating with the guy..He knew
> that there is no more hope for him..
>
> He was not handsome..and this made him
> loose his love..He just kept his feelings deep
> inside his heart..But it was okay for him..as
> his love was happy with the guy she loved..
>
> He was not handsome..but maybe his
> powerful love brought his lady back to
> him..One day, the lady came all the way
> crying to him..She said to him that she lost
> her virginity and the guy dumped him..She
> was all in tears and didnt know where to go..
>
> He was not handsome..but he loved her... He
> wiped the tears off the lady and gave a warm
> hug..The lady felt the warm feel gush through
> her nerves and touch her heart deep
> inside..She realized that this is her true love..
>
> He was not handsome..but he found his love
> finally... and he was happy...
>
> p/s: looks are not really the most important
> thing in love... Consider the feelings of
> the ppl around you...You might just find
> that true love of yours... He may not be
> handsome... but he might love you MORE than
> anyone could ever love you... and that is
> greater than some handsome IDIOTS who
> doesn't love u.

-THE END-


Well well. Wat's the morale of the story? Guys who are not handsome will be good? My foot! Most guys are the same. I'm not an exception. I mean most. Most i seen before. Same goes for the ladies. Ok, maybe that's the way SG is. We are born here. I've not travel enuff to see the rest of the world. But i found some malaysian, chinese and indonesian are much better than SG. haha.. Ok, i dun mean FT(Foreign Talent) are of any better. Well, maybe i've seen too much of bad ppl here. ^^

But anyway, the government feel that the locals are tired of the locals. Therefore, they imported some FT for us. Mixed blood is good meh? *scratch head* I once read on the articale in HWZ forums. Ppl are toking abt the gals in SG are into 5C and looks and watever that is. Whereas there are adverts from another country is looking for husband in SG, regardless of looks and wealth. I heard that a lot of guys actually went and import some into our land. From wat i can see is in their mentality is, local gals are asking for so much while the foreign gals dun ask for much. Why not as well get one as wife? Somemore most of them are educated, some even have certs. They are not as stupid, they might not be as clever.

Last time used to hear abt SPG. Now wat those guys are labelled. i wonder. haha.. As for me, i'm keeping my fingers crossed. Be it a local, be it a foreigner, be it a prettie, be it a cutie, be it an ugly, be it watever. Wat comes around goes around. Getting a partner is not for others to see, it's for self-use. It's the feel. No feel, i wun agree to anything. Not even a little treating her good.

Ok back to the gaming reports:
Yesterday saw xiao-mao again.. haha. Disturb her a bit and gotten her msn contact. Muahahaha.. =P But she dun have friendster, so there's no pic i can find to post to share. heh.. Btw, she is only 15-yr-old.. =.=" But me treating her a bit good only, think she's hooked.. Muhahaha.. =P Yesterday nite she ask me to help her find ppl to trade her money in another server to this server we are on. So, i openned my shop and help her notify everyone who's interested. Then this morning she saw my shop and she msg me. Thank me like siao.. =.=" No need to be so happy bah... haiz.. And somemore still give me a 'muakz' b4 she log off. =.=" How can she take my advantage while i'm sleeping.. lolx. =D

Back to life:
Today not working.. slacking at home and play game.. sian.. Kinda tired of my own life.. Actually today's planning was to go to the clinic for some check-ups.. Since my colleague is taking half-day, guess he will be asking me to party him in game. He was abt to change job liao.. Guess i can only go visit the clinic nx wed.. Coz the operating hours is 6.30pm-8pm. I totally cannot make it unless i take half day. But it's juz a check-up, so i dun wanna waste my leave.. Sian.. Guess i'm off. Maybe tonite then post again.. Ja ne~

Woot~~ i've got a Double-Match~!~! Hehe~~ ;)

Here's the pic:


Looks a bit lian rite..? -.- But she's a christian.. =.= Lagi unbelievable.. Muahaha~~ I'm bad. :P

Sian.. still at work now. tonite then continue. heh.

Woot!! I've got a double match~~~



haha.. Anyway, it's juz for fun. ^^

Been feeling very tired lately.. Duno why.. haiz.. Guess i better go have some sleep now.. Nite all~~

Yesterday nite reach home at abt 5am+.. So, din post anything yesterday.. Guess i'm addicted to blogging.. =D but anyway, today might be a bit longer than usual.. As some of u guys know, sometimes i can be real long-winded. =P

A bit of insight story for yest. Went to JL's place for majong. We got 5 ppl. Jasmine, Jinlun, Wendy, Yixing and me. Xiu'e and Zhixing put me aeroplane.. haiz.. But anyway, i'm the last one to reach. =P The 4 of them already started and i can feel Yixing feeling very sian liao.. Coz he have not won a single game yet.. And to make things worst, his gaming got snatched(Jie Hu) 2 times by Jasmine. haha.. Bad luck.. Then he say he's going off at 2pm then i'll be taking over his bad seat.. >_< style="font-style: italic;">I'm good, i'm good, i'm good~~ *singing happily* heh.. We finished the 1st set and get on with the 2nd set.. This time i'm not so lucky liao.. haha.. Lost a bit in the end, by deducting from the 1st set.. Guess i've break even.. Anyway, it's a nice game. ^_^

After the game everyone was going separate ways.. And for me, i'm going home.. JL is meeting chin siang and jianhao. These 3 call me in all sort of funny sound.. =.=" Haha.. They asked me go karaoke with them but was decline by me.. Coz i wanna stay at home play game. I'm a homely guy.. dun pray pray ah.. =P Was messaging TPL, chatting with her.. Found out that she had not been eaten for the past 30+ hrs.. =.= Haiz, that zhu tou.. Then was complaining having headache, slight fever and gastric. Told her go make a glass of milk and eat some bread then go take some painkillers but she say no strength to walk.. standing up makes her dizzy.. =/ So i offered go her place there.. She asked shan along as well. we meet up at bedok central.

When i arrived at bedok mrt and was coming out from the tunnel, back the back-view i saw a gal who looks like Xuehui.. Her hairstyle, her clothing and the way she walk. really look like her sia.. I called her hp but she no answer.. =.=" Guess not.. She is a very guai gal. not possible so late then go home de.. Anyway, met up with the gals liao, we went to the market and eat. After the food, they suggested going to cineleisure k-box.. o.O Then i remembered declining JL they all.. haha.. But still i agree to bring them there.. We followed TPL and let her go home get changed 1st then we proceed on to cine. For me, as usual, not much singing coz long time no listen to chinese songs liao.. Most of the songs already forgotten how to sing liao. See the words also can't follow.. haiz.. Oh well, watever.. We sang all the way till abt 5am.. After that day seeing these 2 zhu tou.. I found that they are no diff from my those cousins.. Whenever see Energy, F4, 5566, etc. They can go craze.. =.=" How come i dun see myself going crazy whenever i see Jolin, Ayumi, Jasmine Leung, Hebe or Amuro.. haha.. It's so good to be young. i thot to myself..

I let the 2 took the cab 1st while i take out my cigarettes and smoke.. Soon, they are gone.. I walked to the back, slowly, alone, against the chilling wind.. Suddenly, loneliness felt my heart.. So cold.. Shivering.. Recalling those words of some songs.. Slowing strolling to somerset mrt there.. Grab another cigarettes and lighted it.. Slowly walk to the front(Emerald there).. Took the last puff and wave for a cab who was nearing.. Reached home, took a bath and immediately go to bed liao.. Dun even bothered to look at my game..

The next day when i woke up, i found my hp beside my bed... I rmb i did put it on the table..



I went on to take a shower and make my hair.. There after, i received a call from my boss, saying he was in a jam and will be late. ask me help him buy coffee 1st. After the call, i intend to msg TPL and asked if she was of any better, then i saw this: "Hi.. I miss u so much....." at the create msg there.. I was shocked. When did i write this msg? How did i write this msg? Who did i send this msg to? Who was the intended recipent?
A min of silent.. I CAN'T REMEMBER AT ALL!!!! Darn.. this is weird.. I seriously dunno wat's going on OR wat's going on with me.. I'm feeling weird and tired.. But still, it's time to go work..

Time was extremely slow for me today at work.. So sleepy.. I kept yawning every now and then. Maybe every 10 sec.. Somemore Jason is not there to tok cock with me.. Sian.. But well, i still pull thru it.. Haiz.. I got a msg in friendster from another person. A person i do not know. I hardly recalled i did leave her a msg in there.. But she reply and asked me to add her in msn. I added her in friendster as well as msn. When i added her in msn, immediately she send me a msg and ask me who am i. =.=" Real fast sia.. haha.. I told her, she was the one who asked me to add her in msn in friendster msg. Then she was like, "Huh? when? erm.. i think i know who lah". Haha.. then i say her blur. =P But anyway, soon after i went to take my dinner and bathe. Now i'm back to blog a bit. Dunno shld i go slp or play a bit before going for my slumber.. Hmmm.. Wait i get my cigarettes 1st..

Hmm.. I'm a heavy smoker nowadays.. Ever since i finished my army.. I duno why adults muz have so much stress.. Stress at work, stress at games, stress at home, stress abt relationships.. Ever since i met celena, she let me found out that, hugs are mysterious yet destressing.. That time at Esplanade. I was still stranded in the world of darkness.. While she is still under the harassment of someone.. But of us are very upset abt our life.. i remembered that faithful day she was partying with her friends near Esplanade.. I've bought and brought her her prezzie. so i asked her to come out.. She was already a bit drunk.. =.=" We went over to the seat there and i pass her her present. She opened it up and started playing with Pooh.. haha.. She loved it. =) We had a little chat then when she tok abt her ex who kept invading into her life.. Her tears carass her cheek a bit.. Solemn but i really dunno how to comfort a gal in tears.. =.=" Then she lay on me.. As we enjoy the breeze in silent.. Listening to the sea in peace.. It was cold out there but her body was hot.. It's all due to the alcohol.. sigh.. However, the feeling was good. Hugging someone at a quiet place enjoying the breeze.. She may not be my love but at that moment, somehow she was kinda transformed into karen.. I held her closer to me, smell her hair, face on face, as we chat.. We sat there until almost dawn.. oh ya, and she bit me on my arm.. >_<


Thanks Cel, i will not forget u.. *Hugz*

Did i mentioned karen? I'll like to tell the story of me and her.. This story is only known by my closest friends, a handful of them.. Hmm.. perhaps next time bah.. It's long story.. Though everything was not real but it was real. Though everything is juz like a dream, but it is reality.. Though reality bites, but it's still the fact. The thing that is true is, I loved karen. Though it's already been few yrs from now, it's still like few days ago.. So real, so near.. Yet so far away..

I'm going back to my game. Bye all. ^_^

Feeling bored..

Haiz.. Juz now ingame juz finished making 100 Engraved Handmade Chocolate and 100 Engraved Handmade Chocolate Drinks.... Pressed the keyboard until my wrist breaking liao.. It's actually quite easy to do de..

Materals needed to make Engraved Handmade Chocolate:
1 Handmade Chocolate and 1 Chocolate

Materals needed to make Engraved Handmade Chocolate Drink:
2 Handmade Chocolate and 1 Milk

Materals needed to make Handmade Chocolate:
3 Chocolate

Materals needed to make Chocolate:
N.A(Coz can buy from a NPC(non-playing char)

Materals needed to make Milk:
N.A(Coz can buy from a NPC(non-playing char)

Materals needed to express one's love:
Time and Effort

*Sigh* Total materials need is merely 1000 chocolates and 100 milk. But the stupid NPC only allow me to buy 5 at a time. *sob* Have to tok to him 200 times.. Then have to procced to another city to tok to another NPC to make 300 Handmade Chocolates.. Have to tok to him 300 times.. *sob sob* Then proceed over to the bridge to tok to another NPC to have him engraved my name on the Handmade Chocolate and make the Chocolate Drinks.. Can only make 1 at a time as well!! Somemore if i got it liao, he wun tok to me anymore unless i put it inside my storage... *sob sob sob* Haiz... Have to press 7 times on the 'enter' key to get the stuff then press 2 times on the ohter npc to store.. >_< Seriously, at 1st i thought it's so easy.. Then i regret.. haiz.. I was thinking of making 999 each for her... Which means i still got 899 each product to make.. *faint* Making 100 each already took me roughly abt 4-5 hrs liao.. Not enuff time to make the rest b4 Vday.. Haiz.. Maybe i shld go for 512 ea.. See how lah.. Darn tired now.. Physically and mentally..

Though i've known myself that all these stuffs are in vain.. Dun even have space for improvements between us.. But so be it.. Since her bf is not around. On behalf of him, i shall treat her good. ^_^

However, i'm in a spot.. On one hand, i wish i got her. On the other, I wish i dun get her.. haiz.. Though i always tell myself "It's good to be bad", i still can't do it.. If i were to get her, i'll be letting her bf down.. As the saying goes, "Chen Huo Da Jie" << Meaning Robbing when on fire. Aiya, my england bad lah. dunno how to say. =.= But anyway, i juz dun wan her being lonely and keep thinking abt bad stuffs.. sad stuffs.. As long she's happy, i'll be content.. ^_^Nothing much to expect but her smile.

She will read this eventually..
I've got only 1 thing to say:
No matter rain or shine, winter or summer, sad or happy, i'm always here. Somewhere on earth wishing u good. I'm juz a fone call away. ^_^


Ok back to CNY reportings:
Today went to my great-granny house to ba nian. not much ppl there but seeing her so healthy and happy, i'm glad. :) She's oredi very old le.. But luckily everyone is treating her good.. Such a good family.. Then i got disturb by my great-uncle.. =.= The 'mark' on my neck has not gone away and somemore i'm wearing a long-sleeves Tee.. They spotted it and kept shooting questions at me liao.. Which makes me fumbled and loss of words.. Sweat came rolling down my cheeks drops by drops.. So embarassing.. >_< Really wish i can dig a hole and pok my head in.. ROFLMAO~ But anyway, ok lah. Managed to cope a bit.. heh..

Later, i proceed to my 4th Aunt's place to ba nian. So many ppl there.. Soe playing majong while the kids play cards. And me? Watch tv. lolx. Watched a koeran horror movie but i dunno the tittle.. =.="

My thoughts for the show:
Amazing mother and daughter story. A bit of info. There's this deserted village. This mum and daughter went there to settle down. The mother was very pretty while the daughter is blind.. The mother got her child into the school but the students kept bullying her due to her eyes.. The mum went to the sch one rainy and stormy nite to see the form teacher to plead with him to help her daughter.. She was drenched in the while shirt.. The teacher saw her and her soaked clothing.. She was so pretty and sexy that the teacher nearly raped her and somemore she did not resist.. Coz she loved her daughter and willing to do anything for her.. However, in the end, the teacher did not do so but he did not promised her also.. The mum got no choice but to use her special powers.. She lend her sight to her daughter when she goes to sch... During medical checkups, the doctor found that the gal got an illness and was blind so she is impossible to see anything. Then the other students start to bully her again.. Until her mum starts to kill them.. one by one.. Using hypotism and caused them to suicide.. Sensing the daughter is a cursed, all the villagers decided to kill the gal.. By putting a black plastic bag over her head, tied up. And then set fire to the plastic so that the whole of her head will get burnt. On the other side, the villagers set fire to the house that the mum lives. The mum is unable to escape coz she had lend her eyes to her daughter and she was seeing that her daughter was in pain, burning.. She screamed and cursed the villagers. Indeed she put a curse on them.. And killed all the murderers in the end...

Scary but i feel sad for them.. Only if the villagers are not that prejudiced against outsiders.. Haiz.. Human errror. *yawn* Am tired liao.. That's all for today. Good nite ppl.. Oyasuminasai..

Lazy to go out..

But bo bian leh... haiz.. Anyway, today will be going to great-granny's house to pay her a visit alone.. *sigh* Then later going to my 4th Aunt's place. All my relatives are there today. but i'm lazy to go all the way up to Jurong.. >_< haiz.. it's only once a yr.. suan le bah..

Yest i'm quite pissed off with my online friend. Anyway, i've got nothing to do with her. No relationship, no brotherhood/sisterhood. I din owe her anything nor she owe me anything. And she can come scream at me for dancing with other gal when i go chiong. =.= I dun see any harm in that even though it's more of a seducing dance. That me and weini's gang went Devil's Bar and i saw my long-lost pretty friend whom i court b4. I also danced with her like that. Body contact, hold of waist, eyes on eys, etc. There's nothing wrong ah. I'm not bedding her wat. =.= Even though she want i also dun wan. I can be shui bian but not fan jian. Anyway, this online friend of mine is still young so not much of a blame. forget and forgive.

Toking abt the online game. darn sian.. lvl up so slow. haiz.. These few days no time to do trainings liao. haiz.. I'm going out liao now. See if tonite got anything else to rant abt. Lolx. This place is like my ranting board. :D Ja ne. Sayonara.

Darn farking pissed for the 1st day.

Darn it. I wonder why ppl carry hp and put to silent mode or low volume? As in during normal time, not in a movie, not in a meeting, etc. Can hear meh? Somemore for gals, they would put it in their bags. I really wonder how the fark they can hear. My sis is one classic example. Darn pissed of with her.

This is how it goes:
My mum and sis went to my granny house at Jurong early this morning while i'm still in my dreamland as i slept at 4am yesterday. My schedule was to go there today after i wake up, as expect will be going in the late noon. But anyway, my aunt called and said that all of them are going over to my great-granny house which is at Tiong Bahru. So i waited a while then get prepared. I reach my great-granny house downstairs at 5pm. As i do not know which floor she is at, therefore, i give my sis a call to find out. Called a few times, no answer. ok nvm, thinking that sms will get to her so i send her a msg. Waited and waited, cigarettes after cigarettes, my patience is wearing out.. So, i call her hp again and again and again. Still, no answer. Waited 1 and a half hr at there. shiok? KNN.

Seriously speaking, if hp is only for bf/gf, as well get a walkie talkie. Dun get hp. 1st thing, waste of money. 2nd, anyway, it's a communication device for 2 person only. Based on these two things, i've decided to smash my sis hp later and terminate her line. Btw, i'm the one who's paying for her line all the while even though she's working rite now as a part-time. I nv ask a single cent from her.

Goddamn it. 1st day wanna make me blow off. i'm going back to my game.

Chinese New Year~

Hmmm.. Happy Chinese New Year to all of u~~ Hope everything will turn out good! :) Me, as usual, slack at home rite now.. Juz heard those fireworks. But not bothered to go see see. =.= My ass is kinda stucked to my chair and my face is glued to my screeen. :D
*Sigh* sian.. same old things every yr.. Think will be going to my granny's place tml noon.. >_< A bit tipsy.. I think i going to be pig liao. cya ppl~~ Oyasumi nasai.

Bored at work - Part II

Really darn sian.. lolx. The time is SOOOOOOOooooooo Slow. >_< Suddenly i recalled yesterday on the fone with my friend. We are friends ingame. There's one fine nite i came across another gal who seems to be a newbie to the game. So i tok to her for a while then i disturb her.. My friend knew abt it then she suddenly ask me yesterday nite.

"Who will u choose between me and her?!?!?" I was like, "huh?"
-.-
Bo liao rite? lolx. But anyway, i told her of coz i'll choose her lah. Coz i knew her longer than the new one. =X
Then she shot a sentence, "Hehe, wo shi shen li de~!~!" <<< saying she win.. =.="
Most important is i heard wrongly at 1st.. I heard, "hehe, wo shi shu yu ni de~!~!" <<< saying she's mine.. *sweat*

This morning then i realised it.. lolx. Coz i'm typing this blog the 1st post while on the fone with her. =P But anyway, she so zhu tou. She wun know that i'm snooked by her words unless she saw my blog. but she dun have my addy. Muahahahaha~~ That zhu tou.. =D

That's all for now. heh

Bored at work

*sigh* Time is real slow today. Am at work with him.. Only the two of us.. So tired..facing him. I think i'm really sick today. =.= Sick of this sicko.. haiz..

Tomolo is the eve of CNY. I'm in no mood for that.. However, still have to go bai nian. dun feel like going up to my granny's place. Every yr also go there.. Then questions start shooting at me.. "How come ur gf din come with u?"
"Where's ur gf?"
"When u getting married? ur granny is gettaing impatient to hold a Great-grandson/granddaughter."

*sigh* sian sia.. If have i also dun wish to bring her up.. Later all questions will be redirect to her.. =.=

K lah. i end for now. tonite past midnite i carry on.. might have more interesting stuffs upcoming.. Stay tuned. ^o^