Exhausted and tired..

Paper indeed unable to cover fire.. Neither can paper cover water.. Paper is so fragile.. Wat's expected to be are unexpected to be, wat's unexpected to be are expected to be.. It's not the end but a new beignning of a new life.. All good things eventually will come to an end. When there's a start, there'll be an end. When there's an end, there's a start. That's life cycle.. Follow the flow, follow the nature. Dun go against it. =)

It's so sudden, it's so sadding.. Whenever something ended, I always feel sad even though it may not concern me nor matter to me at all.. She's only 27 and such fate had to bestow upon her.. =( Though not close to her at all but afterall we used to be from one big family who shared the same dream.. Still dunno what exactly happened.. Happened to learn it from melissa.. A shocking news at the start of the day.. Humans are feeble creatures.. Life and death are common and inevitable.. My condelences to the family.. May, we will remember u even though u are gone.. Memories are what u left us with before u go.. May you rest in peace..

Darn I got stucked at 1.02 again.. Lolx... But this time I wasn't angry at all coz I know the prob lies in me.. My stopping is utterly awful.. Unable to step down fully to 1st gear, lost balance when stopping due to too much concentration being used on coordinating the steps.. =.= Yet to get myself to get used to the steps.. Sigh.. When can it become natural..? =( I hate myself..

Damn I hate it when ppl dun reply sms or dun ans call. Damn when there's a question, there bound to have an ans. Wat's so farking difficult to ans? Is ur farking game more impt? Is ur farking so exp that u dun even bother to sms/call back due to missed call? Why put ur farking in silent mode when u are not even restricted to use it at all? Fark you lah as well dun use a hp. Got a fone but uncontactable even though it rings. Got fone but uncontactable even though it beeps. Smashed it! Anyway it serve no purposes at all! Piece of sh!t. Even though a reply after 12hrs I also nevermind but not even 96hrs. Juz cancel the subscribtion. Waste money only anyway.

Sorry for my violent.. I juz can't stand such stupidity.

U said that he might had forgotten all abt u already.. Well, like u said, the situation is abt the same. It's not only hate that exists. Sorrow and pain still remains but not as strong as hate only.. It's indeed that he will not listen to any explainations at all.. His mind is totally shut at the moment.. Nothing all of us can do anything abt it de.. Juz hope time will let him accept and face the reality. Whatever happened had happened, there's no such thing as turn back time.. Even though u already withdrew but it's kinda too late.. Even though were to get back together, a broken vase is forever a broken vase no matter u see it or fix it..

Speaking of Alan case, it's indeed hard on u but well, it's over already.. Unable to blame is suffering.. Blaming self is suffering.. But well, there isn't really a need to blame.. So what if had a reason to blame..? Juz like me..? It doesn't change anything at all and it wun change anything at all.. It doesn't matters at all..

Pain is evil, it wun just go away.. It stays as long as it wish.. Only him got the power to help u force it to one corner to let the pain feels lonely instead of u.. I ain't have enuff strength.. I'm sorry but it's limited.. =( i'm useless after all.. Or maybe I do have.. But when one's lost, nothing seems to be able to get things done right.. Lolx.. Two lost ships will get to nowhere..

Remember one thing.. I might be the one who seems to always make u laugh heartily but I might be the one who will hurt u coz I did once before.. =) Memories still inside me.. I'm not wild at all like u seen me as.. I'm juz being hollow.. Try not to be swallowed by this hollowness.. It's a train with no return.. It's a bad train, dun board it even though it welcomes any passengers.. But anyway, no one predict the future.. That time I can made all of u laugh but I’m only able to share sorrow with one and u know who.. Even though it's a wrong path yet I still chose this path.. Dun be jealous of her.. Coz though chance was given, doesn't means it will be paid off.. Sometimes, I rather that doesn't happen at all.. Some things are always beyond control.. Happiness may not be happy afterall.. Coz happiness doesn’t stay..

PR is indeed essential, as well as networking.. It's not abt who u know but who know u. I know Mr Lee KY but he dunno me also no use.. Lolx.. It's a fact.. Well, one had to know how market himself/herself.. Yup machiam selling self.. I mean promote.. =)



It's drizzling and i'm so near to IMM.. Memories.. =( Felt like walking the path to rmb some memories.. Walking in the rain, alone.. It hits hard though small.. Suddenly feels like listening to 'can fei' coz the starting of the song is raining as well.. As i'm listening, suddenly thought of 'feng'.. The song that I said this to her, "i've always wanted to sing this song but never once I dare to.." then she immediately choose it and want me to sing.. It went awful.. Haha.. 2nd time at suntec kbox, said wanted to hear me sing this song and again I flung it.. The time when things turned sour for us, I went to ktv pub with her and my sis and again sang this song.. It was much better already.. Few days back at kbox, again this song and my lil sis said it was much much better than the time at ktv.. I was thinking, ya I finally able to sing it well.. But it was all too late already.. Then coincidence happens and this song is being played right after ‘can fei’ on my dopod as i'm approaching IMM... I'm outta control.. Damn.... I can't seems to hold back anymore.. I've been holding it back for so long and finally... Afterall hatred can't cover up everything.. Damn it.. Anyway, she wun care at all.. I might long been forgotten.. So, doesn't really matters anymore.. Really doesn't matter already.. Nothing's left but memories.. It's better that way I guess.. I'm too good to be true eh..? Ya, maybe u are rite.. No one deserved me.. I dun need to be deserved anyway.. I dun really belong to this world.. Bu zhi de..

When I heard u crying, u made me recall her.. "Is that how she felt at that time..?" situation seems the same as well.. But feelings told me it's not. Totally different.. Entirely different.. U know ur limit and withdraw.. The problem lies on you or him..? Well, share the fault. Both equally wrong.. If not u wun have been delusional.. Wat makes u delusional..? He's entirely opposite of the previous him.. If not, both zw and me wun care at all abt u already.. Maybe even kel too.. So, dun shoulder it all by urself.. We are all there for u.. I know it's not enuff at all but there's always a limit to what we can do.. U still gotta use ur own strength to stand up.. Never once I see u as a weakling. Even though it meant to keep on the mask. Can't help it then juz do it. Fake it till u make it. No confidence? Fake it! Eventually it will become a xi guan to have confidence. Unable to put it down? Fake it! Eventually u will still see him on the streets de. What kind of you do u wish to be seen? U shld know the answer.. We will still be here for ya till u can stand up.. There's no way u can fall, unless u wasn't even trying at all urself.. U must stand up, u must survive this.. Dun let our efforts gone to waste ah.. Pain, may not seems as painful as it seems to be.. Juz like tattoo. Looks painful and felt painful but when it's over, u will be like "eh? What's the pain..?" =) i'm not asking u to go put the tattoo ah.. =.= it will only reminds u more of him, for life that is.. So dun do it. Let me be the one to go thru the pain instead.. Anyway, I longed wanting to put. Not for anyone but for self coz it's my name char symbols. To keep reminding myself of the pain of this cruel world.. Lolx.. That's wat I thought.. So that I wun take things for granted, and to learn to appreciate..

I always wanted to take care of u.. Since few yrs back.. Maybe she is right, this is not love. Maybe I never love u before.. Juz pure wanting to take care of u.. More like a sis.. Even my own sis I also din treat her this well.. Lolx.. Dun beat me.. =X I'm already treating u better liao lor.. Hehe.. It's a grave mistake from the beginning I guess.. But anyway, I tried.. I still tried my best.. Yes I know u hate that 'try'.. But this is the truth of 'try'.. Another unspoken truth.. I really dunno how to love u.. Sigh..

Seriously afraid that my mask would be teared down one day.. I need to stand up asap.. Haha.. If not wun be able to carry on as per normal.. I hate that.. It's so fake and tiring.. The violet light seems to be calling me again.. Feels like going there yet dun wanna go.. As contradicting as I can be.. Well, that's me. Ya lah it's me again... Oops! Heng ah, it's still remain a secret. I promised I wun reveal means I will never reveal.. =) cannot break promises to gals one.. Will get very jialat one.. I dun wanna be inside that ‘hate book’.. Haha.. So I wun commit again.. No one will get the key... Oh the sky is still dark.. Purr.. Sibei cold lor.. Sigh.. =(

Monday’s approaching.. Actually I’m very scared of Monday.. I’m afraid that I might outta control again… Coz there are songs that I wanted to sing.. Yup the feelings inside that’s being brought out in those.. I’m afraid it might not be just only the feelings but emotions as well.. Slap me pls if I’m outta control myself.. Give me the pain to remind me I shouldn’t be that way.. I dun wanna let it happened again especially when kelvin gonna be around again.. But some things are hard to say de.. Easy said than done.. Somemore it’s Aili’s bday.. Dun wanna spoilt the mood of all too.. Haha.. I’ll try my best de.. =) I know I can do it. So can you..

Tagged by Celeba, so...

Rules: Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

(1) I don't like eating vegetables and yet i'm eating it every now and then.. Lolx.. I juz dun like it yet i feel like eating it.. =X

(2) I don't like to be restricted coz i value freedom and yet i allows ppl to control and restrict me with no grudges..

(3) I hate smokers and yet i'm one myself.. =.=

(4) I seems to be a socialable and outgoing person and yet i tend to shy away.. lolx.. My little secret i'm trying hard to hide.. =X

(5) I eat a lot and yet dun understand why is it always at 23... =X dun beat me!!!

(6) I love eating chickens and yet i can feel like vomitting from eating KFC..


And the 6 lucky people to be tagged are...
(1) Lyn
(2) Melissa
(3) Vion
(4) Jerlyn
(5)
(6)

Can't find anymore.. =.=

Wine.

The killer for me. At age of twelve when i went to Australia, Melbourne. There was once we went to a wine farm, to taste wine as well as food on a country side. I find it awful.. Only a few mouthful of red wine. =.=" At age of twenty-four when i went to Jolvin and Yingfen place. The married couple had a flat of their own and invited all of us over to Kallang Bahru for a new yr gathering.. Nothing much. Played majong, played winning eleven on PS2, etc. Then the duo told us to help them clear their red wine coz they dun drink at all.. =.=" A glass of red wine for me and merely half a glass, i'm a goner already.. Haha.. Thus, someone forever remembered that wines are killer to me.. But not anymore ever since i visited this live-band pub. 1st time in my life was intro into drinking red wine in a pub. It's kinda weird to me yet good feeling there, ya it's becoz of 'Because of you'.. Same thing happened, one glass and i'm almost done. Still remembered i was being disturbed that i must accompany her to Dragonfly.. Oh well, when i reach home i'm already a goner.. Haha.. An unspoken secret oh.. =X But 2nd time, 3rd time, C-clinic. My body had already adapt to it, yup been poisoned..

Such liquid, no matter spirits or hard liquor or wine, are all poisonous to our body if exceeded the amount needed for blood circulation.. All the contents are not being removed from our body despite the usual ways of removing them thru daily life.. Bound to have some leftovers in our body, thus, made me able to drink better in the future.. So, a glass of wine cannot get me down anymore.. Even flaming lamborghini + tequila + martell + green tea, are unable to get me down.. Momo had proven it. This is bad.. i guess.. I'm a party animal..? No u are wrong, i ain't any party animal, i'm weixing. Still, it's not as if i'm going clubbing as if i can't live without it.. So gal, dun see me as that way.. =)

How are wine similar to women? Well, they are the same, they got better with age.. That's not my line!!! =X It's wat i read from Newman. Maybe it's true.. So far among all, only two gave me the best feeling that i seek and they are of my age.. I dun have to worry so much abt anything or rather everything.. Though it still ended but fault lies in me.. Or was it fated..? Happiness doesn't stay eh..? =) I guess i would prefer wine, they dun get jealous when i chose another wine. Lolx.. That sounds familar..? I can see u smiling.. =) Smile more & fret less, honey.. It's ok, everything shld be just fine.. Even though it's not, we two are still around. Dun be afraid of lonely, coz u are not alone..

The 1st one hurt u and haunted and lingered for 7yrs.. The current.. How long gonna this misery gonna last.. Darn, i told u, it spelt troubles. If u wanna step into it, u gonna be prepared for the worst.. I know, it's beyond ur control.. Sigh.. Life's like this.. When we get serious, shit happens.. So, why should we be serious..? U said u gonna heed my advice and do it my way.. But like u said, easy said than done. Me is me, u is u. But if that can make u feel better. I'm willing to lead u the wrong path.. Who ask u to be my best friend. =) Well, maybe i was wrong.. The 1st gal cheated on u and meant to be joke to play with u. U jolly-well know it yet u wanted to dwell over it for years.. Until this one came into ur life and finally completely erase the previous after 7yrs. But yet history repeat itself isn't it..? Life's a b!tch. Reality is cruelty. The kind of girl u are seeking, no longer exist.. I'm not sure if u are serious abt what u gonna do. Well, u got the capabilities, no worries bro. U can do it one.. =) Really, no point getting serious le.. I also told yx the same thing.. Anyway, just order one over and put at home can already lor... =P Cheaper upkeep also.. =X

We kept toking abt cars.. This is the 1st time after almost two decades we are seriously talking abt cars and seeing cars.. Haha.. On the net, there's so much to see. Well, i believe next yr when u come back sg, we will drive our own car out de.. hehe.. =) U better take good care of urself when u are in Finland.. I promised, i will send u to airport means i will send u there. Even though i had to take leave i will still go.. I guess only this group will let me be like this.. Coz i will not be able to find another group juz like u all..

A sudden sms.

Suddenly received a "sorry dear i'm working on that day..." Though it's early in the morning but will also jump up de lor.. =.= somemore it's from a long time no see friend. Huining is my only lady friend that I have who owned a Phantom.. The only person whom I went sentosa with at night.. The last time I saw her was abt two yrs back at cine where we go for ktv at kbox..

Came to think abt it.. She used to be one of the targets for our promoter-killer, mr michael aka xiao beng. Haha.. He only aim her bike only.. But too bad, I still gotten the upperhand.. Hehe.. Women are weird compared to men. They always need and seek endless attention.. I was the only one in ATF who gave her and her sis the most attention. Her sis, huiling, is younger by 2yrs also very active de.. Also taking bike classes that time.. =.= Despite huining being cool, she got her girly sides as well. Even though that time cut super short hair which makes her look boyish but still cute. Haha..

Ppl who are nurses or doctors always dun like ppl who smoke eh? =.= Though she didn't say it out but I always have to try my best not to smoke when going out with her. Lost touch for more than a yr already.. Each had their own lives so keeping in touch with all friends is a hard thing to do.. Will try to meet up with her sometimes since she work so near to me at SGH. Can meet for breakfast before work(if any). Never once able to wake up early to meet her for breakfast.. Haha.. Everytime heard junjie's songs would remind me of her.. She's the only one who purposely delicate junjie's songs and then in the end ask me to sing.. =.=

Well, i frequent that place inconspicously. Actually there's no longer a need for it but seems to be addicted to it. =.= Really doesn't matter anymore.. What comes around goes around but it's not your fault at all. Thus i never wanted to blame u in the 1st place.. Okie i may be rush in the place 1st but u shld understand that kind of feeling coz it happened too. Haha.. Such ironically stupidity.. Haiz.. Shld have known better than to fall for it. Freeplay then shld have kept it as it is. Maybe i know why.. Thus the 2nd doesn't survive thru.. Haha. Well, one of the same kind of thinking that is. Anyway, not point racking it. =)

Need to earn it the hard way eh? Nice one there. Well, seriously no pain no gain, there's no such thing as free lunch in the world.. Trust had to be earn not granted, the hard way that is. Anyway, no point. I dun even bother. Haha.. I dun see a need for it so what's the future? There's no future. =)

Hey gal, i know that u are pretty worried abt me.. Though i dun really wanna let u know what's going now but ur sis seems to know a bit.. Afterall, i really do treat her as if she is my big sister.. Worried yet confident that i can pull through this time round. Confident yet worried that i might fall and never stand up anymore.. Aiyo who says married person cannot care abt friends de..? =P Silly as usual.. Tempted abt clubbing eh? Hehe.. See how lor, if possible bring the group back to past and we all party again.. It's not temptation but rather a form of relaxation from the hectic lifestyle. With me in the group, u gals where will feel bored de..? Haha.. I can't bear to let all of u feel bored lor.. Better not let sis go.. She haven't fully recover from the operation and such events are not suitable for her at all till months later. If she go i dun go. =X It's for her own good lor.. Well, she will know it.. She will understand life is precious more than any of us.. When a person faced death and escape from it will tend to treasure every single thing as long as she is alive.. =)

Hey gal, u are right abt me.. I really dunno how to reject.. Sigh... But somehow i feel that i'm different already leh.. A bit different from the weixing that u used to know.. A person can see surrounding but he/she always unable to see/feel self.. Need u to tell me if there's any different in me.. I always trusted that u can guide me along the path. The past, the present, the future. =)

Seems like i'm getting tired of everything once again.. Well, the only thing that can allow me to plan for the future is the only thing bring me down defeated. Though many said, defeat is the mother of success. U think easy ah..? Easier said than done. Strength draining from putting up so much tough fronts.. Though there's no pain at all but had to force myself to be normal.. It's so tiring.. None could make me put down my masks.. Only the water.. The water that shown reflections of the violet light can bring me down to my weakest form.. It's scary.. Mysterious power had been drawing me to the spot.. I'm still fighting.. There used to have this person who like me yp get drunk.. Coz she said that only when i'm drunk i will speak the truth.. Not that when drunk i will speak the truth, it's that i'm willing to tell u the unspoken.. If not how come i only tell u but not the rest of the gals..? Looks are deceptive and they dun last so dun tell me that.. It was ur heart that captivated me last time not the alcohol..

He said "Let's be alcoholic not melancholic!" Thanks though it doesn't help at all.. lolx.. If it's coming out from the angel then maybe i will pull her close and hold her tight and said thanks then cheers. Well, opposites attract. I got no interest in guys so i'm sorry but u wun be able to help at all.. =) I dun mean u gay lah.. Though i always suan u that.. =P Dun tell me u still thinking of her meh..? She's no longer the angel that u see.. Absolutely firm in her choices in choosing guys.. Materialistic so be realistic, not artistic. U think u are me meh..? I'm of special case lor.. Aquarius seems to be able to get well and attract the opposites easily though most dun work out in a way or another.. My best friend is the same case as me. But he's more introvert and decent, i'm slight introvert plus a bit of outgoing and slightly decent plus a bit mischief.. =X Anyway, even my favors are yours, u wun be happy with her.. She can be a great fling but not a good gf, maybe.. Anyway, i'm neither to her so i got no idea, juz pure guessing.. Looks are deceptive. =) But i like her look, thus i can call her a goddess.. lolx.. =P

I'm back to normal, the usual. U might had already felt the different.. Or maybe u dun.. Well, there is a different if u are sensitive enuff.. It's not fading or anything.. Coz there's nothing to fade in the 1st place.. Juz that when the mind comes to a conclusion telling the directions to the heart, the actions will be executed accordingly. It will be a good thing if u dun feel the different coz it's better that way.. =) But somehow i felt that u did feel it.. Anyway, dun worry.. i ain't leaving u lah.. Haha.. Dun think too much. U already got so many things in ur mind for u to ponder and wonder and crack abt. I'm nothing but a burden.. =X Well, i'm a natural introvert so dun mind me. =) It's nothing much.. Dun keep putting things on ur hands when u can barely handle it already.. Haiz.. Seeing u like that really makes me heartache feel like giving u a helping hand.. But in the end, i found that i will only be hinderance.. Yeah Hinder, Lips of an Angel. I love that song when i heard it for the 1st time.. Ah.. Memories.. Sweet.. =X Hee.. The sun is coming out liao.. Watching dawn at the beach is nice. Only tried once with Xueying and her bf at east coast. Windy yet comfortable. =)

A blog by the river.

Wat's so fun abt gathering at boat quay..? How come so many ppl here..? There's nothing much but a river.. There are groups; there are couples, there are loners, there are drunkens, there are heart-brokens.. Which category do u belong to..? Alone sitting by the river on the steps, feeling nothing but an urge to blog.. Haha.. Belongs to the bo-liao group I guess.. Soccer noises from the left and jazz music from the opposite.. Qi Liang oh.. Not exactly, coz this is Gu Du not Ji Mo.. Not wishing for anything, juz wait endlessly..

Normally ppl asked for numbers from gals but this guy here asked for msn addy instead.. Every of his friends in JS were shocked.. Haha.. Well, she juz wanted more R&B songs ah.. My computer got more.. Sending through msn isn't it faster than bluetooth..? Haha.. All u all can think abt is, owned and being owned.. Think too much liao lah..

Kelvin toh says that gal din wear bra.. I mean.. What's so surprising over a gal who din wear bra..? =.= Never see before meh..? Lolx.. Such clothings cannot wear bra de ah.. If not how to bare her back..? Anyway, this Lynn got the figure so it suits her. Also heard that she is into disco that's why she interested into those R&B songs that we had.. Well, 26th there's a big party.. =) Anyway, she will be working until maybe 2am or 3am.. See how lor.. When she on her msn then I asked her.. It's all abt sharing fun together mah.. Someone taught me, muz give chance de mah.. Haha.. Anyway, the more the merrier.. How can leave out others de.. Hopefully this thurs gonna be fun.. If not gonna sian again.. Haven't get to fully enjoy yet since a long time ago..

Kelvin says flings are fine but well, even though flings also dun have to be mentioned de mah.. Discreet is the key ah.. There isn't any need to announce for flings.. He knows how to play de mah..? No wonder he got caught.. =.=

Anyway, need to go rab bar now.. Meeting them at mac at boat quay.. The guys left so early from JS.. Sian.. Haha kelvin can't beat me despite two games of pool though I long time no play liao whereas he had still been playing.. 30th is Aili's bday and kelvin kept asking me to ask my sis and dawn along.. Aiyo.. My sis sure will not go if dawn not going de.. Sigh.. Need to see how bah.. Surely will get Aili drunk de on that day.. Haha her five-ten getting more and more lousy..

Still wondering if I shld ask carol along on thurs or not.. Few days back ask her for dinner before her work, she actually totally no reply.. =.= Was chatting fine till that question. It was kind of rude, I see it as. Argh.. Want means want, dun wan means dun want. What is silence? Damn.

Unable to drink much at rab.. Listening to music and smoking my life away.. Wasn't really that bored, wasn't really happy either.. Not really in the mood for anything that it seems.. Too many things in the tiny head that gotten wx goes blank.. Wat lies in the future..? An unseen future..? Izzit time yet..? The long waited plan.. Seems a bit not ready yet but it will definitely wun fade nor vanish.. Since young, had been living such a life. I've got nothing left in life. Absolutely nothing. It's juz like I can die now and forget abt everything.. Everything doesn't matter anymore. Thus, I need to build up everything on my own. I've got no backups except for a seriously hatred bloodsucker behind. Damn it why he juz go and die? It will bring peace to all. No restrictions on my sis. Mum can spend and save her own money. I can even get my own house with mum together. Damn it even though i've got the ability to do so I also can't. Being pulled back by an unseen force. Commitments are a burdensome thing. But that's lifestyle of a typical singaporean.. Wat to do.. Have I forgot abt poor..? Have I forgot abt suffering..? Have I forgot abt starving..? Have I forgot abt the hardships that went thru with difficulties..? I guess i'm taking life too granted already.. I shouldn't have been borned in the 1st place.. Damn it.

Anyway, I guess we need more time to do the plannings. I dun feel anyone being ready just yet.. Guess i'll have to move on to cope with my commitments in the meantime.. When everyone is ready, I guess my part being a motivator have to be resumed juz like how I did in the past to help my fellow warriors.. Though I din learn much but sufficient to lead everyone to the mood.. The timeline is end of the yr or early next yr. Things cannot be rush for it will collapse easily.. So, for now it's better that I hold everyone back.. I dun wanna lead ppl into a ghost ship of no-return.. I want it to be a ship that the sun will shine upon. No matter how others throw stones at me, I had to stay strong like a pillar. I'm not those kind who easily shown defeated by ppl who are earning peanuts and telling ppl risking is a risk. It's juz selfish holding back, maybe it's outta concern. But that doesn't mean my path have to follow what ppl said. I draw my own path of advancement not others draw for me. It's my life that i'm living.

Fireflies

Yes fireflies are beautiful yet fragile.. Very short life span but yet they can brighten up one's life.. Still can remember when i was in Pulau Tekkong during the 1st 5-days outfield. It was around 8pm and darkness falls so everything was pitch-black. Cannot light up any fire coz gotta be inconspicious.. Thus, everything had to be done in the dark.. Unable to get to sleep in the tent with another guy therefore went out for a walk and smoke nearby.. Sat down and lean against a slope, not even caring if there's ants or watever.. Yeah once a person in army uniform, he wun mind being dirty.. Leaning against the slope enjoying the serenity with slight breeze.. Noticed there are fireflies.. Though quite faint but still visible in complete darkness.. It was like kinda paradise... Looking up in the sky, it was clear and the stars were smiling.. I always wanted a getaway ever since i finished my army but now whenever i thought of a getaway, nightmares were piercing my heart... Damn i hate that feeling.. Why all these were happening to me..? Shits happened.. Argh.. Shouldn't had mentioned this, wasted space on my blog.. But wat to do..? Affairs of the heart are the hardest to manage..

That time when i mentioned abt going batam for shopping and holiday, u actually mentioned that if u are not working u sure accompany me go. Quite shocking to hear that though.. On the other hand, some things were being reminded.. Sigh.. The only birthday present i gotten is from Jason, a $50 voucher for Parco Bugis. That time i was feeling my worst. The worst days of my life..

I ever mentioned, i see a splitting image but deep down i know it's my illusion, my hallucination.. Coz u are of different categories.. No one can understand u, ppl who knows u will like u.. Life's a bitch. Unable to face the reality to share yet under certain circumstances dun really mind to share.. How are u different..? Truth and sincerity. You not gonna be a great gf but definitely u gonna be a great friend as well as close friend.. Darn why am i spouting nonsense, or rather facts..? Haiz.. Complicated. I guess i really need more to settle it.. But i think i got cursed already like u said.. lolx.. Dunno why but i've got the feeling already.. But i dun wanna believe in fate but self. =) So dun worry too much, i think i can handle it still.. So, let's live life as normal.

During the class 2B pract, was rather surprising to got jio for going for another pract together.. She was quite cute though but really pity her for kept falling off the bike.. As small size as me but for a lady, strength will definitely lesser than a guy.. Walau doesn't mean if i can put the bike on main stand without any help in one try and u also can lor.. I got learn before from SSDC de leh.. Haha.. It's not abt the strength but the technique handling.. Quite interesting gal..
Her conversation with another student when we three took the same train.
"I juz went out with my bf for 2weeks then i realised he got another gf for 9yrs already..."
"Omg.. Then u still with him now..?"
"Yup, anyway i also got another bf.. Haha.."
Me: "hmmmm.."

Well it seems pretty normal to the world but foreign to me. =.= Wait a min, before u start scolding ppl a bitch, think abt ur own acts. Use a mirror if needed. So, i dun have the rights to say it.. Lolx.. Coz i was like that before.. Be it cheating or being a third party. Well, life's like that. It's juz a game. Nothing more than that. It's not as if it's gonna be end of world if such things happened ah..

That day got stopped by an insurance advisor at Bugis. Prudential again. =.=" Amateur gal younger than me by 1yr. When being asked if i had got a gf, immediately spurred out NO despite i'm still with her.. However, she mentioned abt the rings saying if no gf then how come got rings..? Luckily i was in a good mood though not in the mood to disturb an ugly gal.. Wasting of time only.. Ya i no longer having charisma. It wun bring me food nor money so why bother.. There's no free lunch in the world so if u want a piece of me, there's gonna have a price to pay..

Oh yes when i thought of "U reminded me of her.. how come u taste like her?", the pain came.. It's not becoz of the taste but rather what happened after that later.. It's ok, what's past had past.. I dun hold grudges coz u had been truthful all along.. Let it be hidden.. Where words are not necessary nor essential..

A broken vase can never be unbroken

Angry but not really angry.. Shocked but not really shocked.. Sad but not really sad.. Hurt but not really hurt.. Juz one to describe, disappointed. I already said, it's dead. Nothing left to be angry, nothing left to be shock, nothing left to be sad, nothing left to be sad. Nothing but memories which dun even need to be remember or to tell abt. This time's disappointment is totally different from last time. This time I totally give up. I dun even mind if there's not even memories left or rather being forgotten, goes with the wind and never come back. I will never look back and not gonna care anymore. It's dead and can never ever be revived. There's not gonna be a soul but an empty shell. My precious soul and heart are not worth being shared or give a little placing..

My ex-angel said it's bu zhi de so i'll mark this pretty little ex-angel's words. Forever etched and stamped specially for this ex-angel. I admit I did fall for you becoz u forever never fail to make the smiles on my face and never fail to make me remember how painful are ur two bites when I dun wanna tell u abt the situations and never fail to touch my heart when the most unexpected breakdown occurred by delicating the two songs to heal my pain.. In the end, I still hurt u becoz of a bu zhi de.. I guess there's never really another chance for me to treat u good as before.. I dun understand why u wanna run away.. Once bitten twice shy eh.. U were once an angel and u forever will be. I'm not like any others who call u an angel juz becoz they wanna bed u but not me. If not that time when u were drunk and when I sent u home I would accompany u to ur place already.. Anyway connie wun care much abt us de.. I still remember when in the cab u still hold me tight.. Anyway, u wun get to see all these, u wun get to know all these.. I'm sorry..

Anything that has a start will have an end. What comes around goes around. A title is merely a title, wat's more important is the feeling inside. Hmmm... The sky very clear tonight, can see the stars. =D *whistle* =P Some things are best left untold. =X

The Heart

It's dangerous.. Finally set it in and get it right. =.= How close.. Zzzzzz.. Really sweat sia.. Sigh.. It's too strong already. Maybe it's me only.. Oh well.. tonight i can sleep better already except for the stupid humid weather..

I dun quite understand. Unable to share it and yet still able to share it, different situation same fate. I mean it's being contradicting. Hmmm.. No matter how u look at it from diff view, u will still get the same answer ah but how can u tahan it..? Complicated. Don't mind yet mind, mind yet don't mind. Care yet dun care, dun care yet care. Ya i'm being contradicting. So, it's pretty normal i guess. There's no definite answer, there's no right or wrong. Hmmm.. I guess that's it. =) Well, afterall that's life. What comes around goes around, what goes around come around. Hahaha.. There's no end to it till death i guess.

"Just becoz u are afraid that i will leave you so u lied? Don't u know that i will also leave u if u lied?" Lolx.. Watched too much tv liao.. =P But well, it's a fact thus i never would choose u in the 1st place. U juz simply dun understand that i knew that u will definitely lied. Haiz.. Too bad. It's game over and there's no replay. Goodbye. Dun ever hope for the slightest coz life's easy, made decision and dun look back. I will not even look back at u to give u even 0.01%. Maybe not even friends, coz i can't stand it. Seeing you for even a sec will bring back disgusting memories. I guess u are too dumb to even know i'm talking abt you. I ain't got time for stupid people so next time dun even bother to call out for me when u see me. I'm afraid i might juz vomit on the spot. Luckily u dun have my contact. Phew...

Club Momo

Heard that Club Momo might be closing down soon. Yesterday went down to MSQ to help someone buy lunch then finally get to see her best friend, kel. A sign-on regular posted to taiwan upon request, came back on a 4days holiday.. Said that will be going Momo tonight coz his friend jio. Asked my sis and she wanted to go too coz never went before since most of her guy friends can't go in.. =X In the end, it's her bro who bring her there.. lolx..

Momo like change a lot already.. Doesn't feel any good inside there and somemore being having gastric ever since inside.. The unbearable pain however still can be subdued.. Din drink much only a glass nia then mainly dance all the way.. Sigh.. Most of my party-goers know that if weixing dun have the kick, there's no way to enjoy with him coz he will not be sporting at all.. sigh.. Yea, i'm a boring ass.. My sis din drink much and still can dance but not me.. Kel funny lor, he's already almost gone after the 1st round and kept apologising.. =.= Apologise for being drunk or apologise becoz of my sis..? Haha.. Silly, as long my sis shown no restrictions or being defensive, i will let her be. Dun really have to mind me ma.. Haha..

Ya, u two dun look like u just got to know each other and we dun look like we are ordinary friends. =.= Think too much liao lah.. Even my sis knows what's on my mind. Anyway, becoz of i din drink much i'm quite pissed at how i am unable to dance to enjoy.. Ordered a flaming lamborghini and share with her. While preparing, a tequila promoter approached me and since i dun have the kick and it's only $10 so as well lor.. Down the tequila shot and followed by 2/3 of flaming lamborghini. Hmmm.. How we missed the taste of it.. Haha..

Dunno if it's the 2nd round or 3rd round of going to the dancefloor and we two got higher already.. Thus, kel and sis shouldn't have dare us.. lolx.. My sis will be as daring but not kel, coz i'm her bro.. That's the weakness i saw thus i intended on the sexy dancing and he did it with uneasy.. Haha.. But never knew that my sis will be daring till 'certain stage'.. =.= 'Follow suit' isn't a fun game afterall.. Or maybe it is.. =X

Unspoken pain. Dunno why i felt that way but i really dun like the feeling.. Got me quite vexed over it.. And somemore can't get to sleep until my sis went out to school.. Been tosing here and there. Dunno how to explain but i can feel it.. Sian..

Anyway, there's a bunch of ppl doing great dances there. Cool. Nowadays dances had become popular already.. =) How nice.. Gotta turn into slight hip-hop in order to do that.. Man, how hard can that be.. Maybe gotta see more of 'Storm the yard'.. Haha.. We shall see coz more yet to come. Gotta go see more before the 26th.. =D But then not too sure how's the music, hopefully it's gonna be R&B.. It'll be easy to execute by rap but R&B can be done too coz the beat is almost the same.. As long not techno can liao..

U shouldn't have drank so much.. I know u are indebted to him so u need to help him.. Only if i got to know him early, i would help to so as to share ur burden.. I wun get drunk easily as long there's no mix in the drinks.. C-clinic was different coz too many different types already.. So if drinking hard liquor all the way then all the way, spirit all the way then spirit all the way, beer all the way then all the way, shots all the way then all the way. Tested and i know it myself.. Had a beer and later drink hard liquor, i'll be a goner very fast.. My resistance is not that bad de and i dun really need anyone to take care of me coz i used to be the one to take care of ppl around me when partying.. =.= I'm not a burden so i dun like being seen as one.. Not that i dun like u to take care of me but rather i had said, there will not be a second time that such thing happened to me till i totally lost.. My emotions had been under controlled already so there's no way i can get drunk... Everything are just memories. =) Btw, i'm not Alan coz i dun look back. Life's simple, make decisions and dun look back. I will never turn my head to eat the grass behind me even if being forced to.. It's impossible to patch back with any even though might be close to any... Ya i'm an anything guy but not on this case. =)

I like this new skin.. ^.^

When i came across this skin, immediately i fell in love with it.. Lolx.. Dunno why but juz had this affinity with it.. Had quite a hard time editting it. Made her wait so long for me and somemore she waiting for me so that i can help her buy food.. It's my bad.. Again neglected. I'm sorry.. =(

26th April, Thursday. MOS invites again. Tertiary Fling VI. Already part 4 liao, din know that.. But anyway, hope that it's gonna be fun. Hmmm dunno want to ask who to go.. Shld get some other people to join in le.. Anyway, zhiwei got 20 tickets for free entry and he said he can get somemore.. =.=" Thought each members can only get one.. lol.. Again the free entry valid from 9pm to 11pm, later than that will have to pay to go in.. Can feel that someone gonna rush again.. =X hehe.. I know i know.. Bo bian mah.. =) Kinda surprising though, sis actually asked me if i'm going.. Jialat.. Did i made she fell in love with clubbing..? =X It's my bad eh..? sob.. But well, it's all abt having fun.. I can't juz enjoy and not sharing the fun.. hehe..

Wat's the different between Ji Mo and Gu Du..? Ji Mo is lonely and Gu Du is lonesome..? Ji Mo is like when someone leaves you and u are not used to not having her/him by ur side anymore. Gu Du is when you are alone all the while, not expecting nor waiting for anyone, as in not seeking at all.. Gu Du is quite Qi Liang but compared to Ji MO, it's much more better feeling. It's like doesn't matter at all whether is there anyone else to share your joy and sorrow.. Compared to being in love is totally the opposite.. In love, there bound to be extreme happiness and sadness. It's so ironic that humans will still choose to love or be loved despite knowing that it hurts so hard though it bring joy.. Complicated. =.=

Darn.. Flu become cough, cough become fever, fever become weak. Zzzzzzzz.. Never-ending shits. =.= Whole of yesterday machiam crying. Juz like water run in thru the nose and makes one's eyes watery.. Sigh.. I'm sick of being sick.. Argh...

Just went interview yesterday, got my back turn on them.. Lolx.. Though i dun have experience in selling laptops but that doesn't mean i dun have my values.. Damn i'm not any cheapkate lor. It'll be quite a challenge selling laptops coz everyday will be fighting for the GP.. Colleagues are foes, foes are colleagues. I thought harmony is the best. Sigh.. It's a cruel world, so gotta take care of self before u can take care of others.. Haha. Hope dawn can help ask for the dopod job then drag her go work together.. =X Aiyo, work until so unhappy still want hang on.. Some says holding on is strong, maybe it's letting go.. Wahahahaha.. =P Frankly, friends are friends, work is work. Who says dun work there anymore can't be friends anymore? It's not the end but a new beginning. =) Come on, let's go dopod lah~~ Free and easy wor~~ =P

Even though after so long already, i still feel disgusted by her.. =.= I dunno if she read my blog so i can't anyhow state. No matter how disgusting she is, still gotta spare a thought for her ah, afterall she is a human.. Sigh.. Though there's no way for her to contact me to scold me.. =X Argh.. Talk abt her also find her er xin lor.. =.= The world is full of all kinds of ppl sia.. Surprising sia, she's still working at there after so long.. Anyway, not my problem. So long dun come harass me can liao.. Ewwww... Er xin de da bian.

It's kind of weird.. Seeing it's gonna be a trap and one will still jump in.. I dun understand.. Only the 1st one do not know anything, the 2nd one and 3rd one know abt it and yet they dun seems to mind.. O.o Such complications.. Ya no strings attached i know, but do u think that gonna stays that way forever..? Do you really think that they gonna dun mind all the way that the fact that their gal is being shared..? No no i dun mean u are being loose. Coz i know it's not that bad and u know what u are doing. =) And even though u dun have any right now, others will still choose u despite knowing your past.. That's why i said it's not that bad.. =) Dun worry, behind u there's always me for support.

Every mth u would ask me a lot of times abt the situation of me and my ex.. Yup i know u are concern abt me coz i'm always there for u that time when u cried every night.. For the 1st time, u actually asked me if i wanna call u for a chat.. I'm very sensitive one, thus i rejected u.. Coz u asked that when u learnt that she've broke up with me.. Well, if u ain't working night life, i might consider you.. =) I dun think u will get to know this coz i know ur com is spoilt.. Hehe.. U dun have my msn neither friendster therefore u will not have any access to my blog.. Maybe it's a good thing.. Unspoken words. If u can feel it then good lor, i might give u a chance.. If my previous msg still bothers u, then too bad lor.. I'm a very anything guy. lolx.. I like your straight hair.. =X

Rot to the core sia.. sigh.. I'm going crazy staying at home everyday. I need to work before i can get my mind to work towards the goal~~~

Darn. The flu is back.. Sian.. It makes me drowsy.. Went to MSQ for dinner juz now. Din really got the appetite to eat due to sickness.. Had a bit of Yoshinoya's teriyaki chicken.. Felt bad that i unable to stop u from buying that necklace.. I know u would be happy if u were to buy it so i was like half-hearted stopping ya.. Haha.. Well, it wun run away de leh.. You can still buy it next mth de ah.. =)

"Pain is evil.. It comes and goes as it likes.. *hugz* but if u want, i can accompany you so that pain will be forced to be lonely in a corner.." Thanks sweetie.. You never fail to cure me with ur words.. They worked like miracles though i never told.. Afterall u used to free me from my cage.. A guardian angel i thought so.. =) Thanks for coming into my life, i wonder what life is without you.. Yes yes i still smell the same as before.. Haha.. And u still wore that watch.. =) Time really flies.. The wind can blow away the smoke but it can never blow away the memories. So please stay there as memories.. 回憶可以是美好的, 也可以是不好的. 但是不管是好是壞, 它始終是階段, 就讓它永遠留在回憶裡吧.. 失去之後才懂得珍惜, 得到之後卻忘了珍惜. 人之長情..

I will not forget the time when u cook for me yourself despite not knowing how to cook at all. I will not forget the time you came all the way just to buy me breakfast because you are touched by my words. I will not forget you came all the way just wanted to see me and let me accompany you for dinner at maxell. I will not forget you came all the way and wait for me to finish work. I will not forget when you said i've gotten your 100%. I will not forget. These are memories.

I'm always easily satisfied with small little things.. I dun need anyone to buy me anything every now and then. I dun need anyone to give me surprises every now and then. I dun need anyone to give me happiness every now and then. I always tend to give more than i take.. 討的東西我不要, 也不會喜歡的.. Learn this from someone in the past.. She taught me to be sensitive and take note of things a gal mentioned.. Take those as opportunities as surprises.. I used to suddenly appeared at her place and sent her to work.. I used to suddenly appeared at her clubbing juz to make sure she is fine.. Nothing much actually coz too much of 'rather give than take' which makes me dunno how to treat her well..

Someone actually can sacrifice her clubbing fun juz to take care of others.. Already not much chance to enjoy yet still gotta so tedious.. 好人難做 eh? =P That's always the case.. Dun worry, honey. There wun be next time for my case.. This i can promise you, so next time i will help u take care of them so that u can go ahead and enjoy.. =)

I din actually expect that u do read this.. Long ago kinda had this feeling that u had been reading my blog.. Words from my blog are being used.. lolx.. Anyway, not really that i mind lah.. Juz a bit amused that u can remember my blog addy... Anyway, nothing to hide. This is the place for the unspoken..

When interested in a person's life, u'll like to know every details of his/her life but time doesn't permits it.. Well, maybe this is the best when often things are left unspoken. =) Unlike someone lor.. Blog personally and then kept changing addy making it so private.. haiz.. No matter how good i am at searching, still can't find.. lolx.. Anyway, blog is kind of daily life expressing self.. Hectic life makes one difficult to inform others of what's going on around and inside.. It's a sad thing. Only if we dun have to work.. Haha. Oh, i forgot i'm not working now.. Still not in the mood to work.. Not yet i guess.. Not exactly becoz of anything or anybody but rather me, myself and i. Situation doesn't allow me to be a sitting duck forever though.. I guess i've gotta move my ass soon.. Haha..

Juz started Nine Dragons.. At 1st seems fun but later seems to easy already.. Reached lvl 40 already, also known as RC4. Life's a bitch.. Everything seems so interesting knowing that it's a world of martial arts but after joining Mo-Jiao the Heavenly Demon Clan, found out that it seems nothing much.. Too many skills already.. Jack of all, master of none.. Sigh.. Still got a long way to go.. I really like the Qi-gong though.. Sprint all the way.. This is something that i fantasied abt when i used to play jinyong online.. Haha.. Anyway, i'm so engrossed in games.. I always live in fantasy rather than reality.. However, no matter how game freak i am, i wun neglect ppl around me.. That's one thing very different from me and my ex-coll... Even a normal were to ask me out when i'm playing game, i would still go out.. In short, i will not give up anything for game.. Afterall it's something unreal.. Actually gaming is good.. At least u know that he's being guai staying at home rather than running around worrying abt him dunno where he go and who he meet.. So, if he is playing game at home, dun look at it at a bad way.. There are always different ways in seeing things, why not look at it in a different manner..? You might get a different answer. Eh? This sounds familiar eh? Hehe.. Yup, that's his line and i'm helping him. =)

Sudden had a thought of asking myself. "Why would u want to get into a relationship when u know that it gonna hurt?" It's a 'love-trap', many said. No matter how hard u tried avoiding, u juz can't avoiding falling into it.. It's both beautiful and ugly. It's a balanced world so nothing is perfect.. The perfectness that i seeked is nothing but a fantasy, a fairytale. I thought she was a dream comes true, in the end i still woke up from the dream..

Not really wanted a relationship but rather a companionship. Isn't that the ultimate rather than looking for juz a partner..? Get a partner, grow bored of the partner, saw new partners, interest growing on the others. Whatever. It's so complicated. I thought that only applies on materials.. Anyway i'm out of topic.. lolx.. =P Ya, juz like someone who kept requesting me to accompany her by using excuses of supporting her at her new job at pub.. She juz wanted companionship and nothing more than that.. And maybe that can ceased the pain dealt.. Though i disappointed her again and again, things are still fine and life still goes on.. With or without, have or dun have, the world still spins.. But i dun mind a companion though.. Who might it be, i dunno. Time will tell.. No strings attached eh..? Kinda hard for me though.. I'm still learning.. Lolx.. I wonder what the future is like.. Uncertain of the future makes me feel uneasy.. But that's life..

Dun worry too much.. I'm no longer drowning so i dun really need a life jacket.. But if u still wan me to wear it, i would. =) I must show gratitude de mah.. It's a form of courtesy and kindness. =P Anyway, thanks.. I used to refrain so much and yet u still give unconditionally.. We both had pulled thru the darkest hours.. But maybe not you yet, future is uncertain and darkness may bestow anytime.. Dun worry abt falling coz i will break ur fall so that it wun hurt so much. I'm always around somewhere beneath the same sky as you.. =) This ain't sweet-nothings but something i would do for anyone who's in bad situation.. I used to have a friend who would call at midnight when got problems, and i'm still there for her.. So, this is the real me.. Since dun have a gf to treat her as 100%, as well shared the 100% among all..? Anyway keep also no use.. Haha..

Gotta slp soon.. Still gotta wakey around 9.30am later.. =X

Dosage @ C-Clinic by Whosgoing invites. 12April

Dun really like the music there.. Turning R&B into house.. zzzzz.. Damn it house wine for $45 nett!!! Ordered 2 bottles then housepour 1 for 1 then spirit 1 for 1 then tequila shots by Alex(i think that's the name though i'm already a goner..) then lastly another bottle of red wine..

Darn i lost myself totally.. Ya u are right.. I'm so unglam.. lolx.. Before u came i already told zhiwei i'm almost there already.. Shouldn't have taken the tequila shot.. That's the killer for me.. Totally lost myself.. I can only remember me clenching my fists coz i hate myself for letting myself being like that.. I remember feeling u two trying to make me relax and unclench my fists.. I remember all that were said to me though my eyes were already too weak to open up.. I remember u holding on to my hands and telling me not to worry coz u will take care of me and my belongings.. Like i said, i can't vomit.. Once i vomit, that's it for me and i had to rush home and rest.. Worried abt me and refused to let me go home on my own.. I'm sorry for the troubles that i've caused.. Haiz.. I dun wan it to happen that way either.. Mind over body.. My bad that u are unable to enjoy when the kick came.. sigh..

Not much gals there. Sian.. Only saw a few but kinda too lazy to go sian.. Haha.. That place not really that bad, was quite okie.. Oh well, my fever came back.. Need to rest already..

Editted Version
Origin from Chris Daughtry - It's not over

I was blown away
what could I say
It all seemed to make sense.
You have taken away everything
And I can't deal without.

I try to see the good in life.
But good things in life are hard to find.
I'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?

(Well I'll try to do it right next time around)
It's all over,
I'll try to do it right next time around
It's all over
Cause part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me
So you're not the only one
It's all over.

Taken all I can take
And I cannot wait
Wasting too much time
Being strong, holding on
Can't let it bring us down

My life with you means everything
So I won't give up that easily?
Blow it Away, Blow it Away
Can we make this something good

Though its all misunderstood

(Well I'll try to do it right next time around)
It's all over,
I'll try to do it right next time around
It's all over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me
So you're not the only one
It's all over.

We can't make this go away
Let it out, let it out
Don't get caught up in yourself
Let it out.

Can't start over
We'll try to do it right next time around
It's all over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me
So you're not the only one
It's all over.

Can't start over
It's all over
It's all over
Yeah, yeah!
This love is killing me
So you're not the only one
It's all over


Nothing to give but sadness. I seriously got no idea what u looked in me.. Haha.. Maybe he is right.. I can be a great friend, great listener, great lover but absolutely not gonna be a great bf.. It's the same mistakes most human made. I've let u down again and again, over and over..

Yup, i hate myself too for not treasuring the golden times when we first started.. Coz i wasn't ready to commit.. I dun believe in love at all.. However, u are the one who made me wanted to believe in it.. But i guess all is too late.. There's no such thing as 'click'.. That's too good to be true.. So, there's no need to turn back time. It still carrys on no matter what, even if it's the end of world unless the time in us stops..

Yup, things had turned out like this way, there's nothing we can do anymore.. We still have to live our live as per normal except for a missing thing in life. That thing would be lost forever, u shld know my character... Maybe u will find me a different kind of friend as before.. Well, things changed, mind changed, feelings changed, actions changed. Anyway, doesn't really matter to you i guess.. Or maybe it does.. Either way, i dun really have to know.. =)

Angry words? Not an issue coz i'm really used to it.. Haha.. There's not really a need to apologise coz i'm at fault too.

I dun need to know the situation anymore.. It's your life and your privacy.. I've dun really got the rights to ask.. Anyway, reality bites so i dun really want to know.. I've tried my best not to hate you.. This is the best i can do for you.. What had happened had happened.. Things dun just happen. It happened for a reason.. In fact, i rather you killed me with a shot than all these.. I think u forgot it's something similiar that makes me so disappointed in you and decided to ignore you that time... Still, i'm really that traditional.. Was it a bad thing or good? I've got no idea. Maybe i shouldn't be at that at all. Lolx.. It's better that way i guess.

It's gonna be a one-way train with no return. Do take care and control more of your temper. 'Red Light' cannot always be used as a reason to blow up. Not all men can be as tolerant as me if they are in the same situation as me and had the same thing happening to them.. If u found any of such, pls let me know.. Haha..

Don't apologise anymore. =) Whatever is gone is gone. There's no point for us crying over spilled milk or broken vase. A vase once broken, no matter how we fixed it, there's no way we can make it look as if it's brand new. The cracks lie forever.. The only was is to get a new vase.. No point le so we dun have to 'try' anymore.. I wun rack up anymore.. Juz like u used to commented 'how come most of the time i blog always got mention you inside de..?' Not anymore i guess so this gonna be the last one..

Some things must let you know.. Almost all people dun approved of us being together but the most weird thing is this guy. He surprisingly was the only one who told me not to end it.. He mainly teaches me bad things yet such thing coming outta him.. Kinda not like him... He said, "Weixing u knn u better not come with me to join the interior designing job. Why? Becoz u will have lesser time for her and she will needs lotsa attention de. Cb if u two broke up, how many hundreds years are u gonna find the next one?" Well, i dunno.. That's me ah.. Haha.. Leopards will never changed their spots eh..? Lolx..

Another thing is one of my bosses ever approached me and asked me, "xing, u grew bored of your gf already..? If so, pass over to me lor.." Well, he's married and often gone for massages as well as 'specials'. So i knew what's in his mind.. Well, it's a very long time ago.. What did i ans? Of coz i said no lah! Cb he thought what? My gal canbe anyhow share de ah? Damn you lor! So what a boss? Damn!

Ok then i'm ending it already.. Let's let it stay there as memories if there's any left. =) Dun worry abt it, i'll bear the pain coz i knew u did. Go on and do the things u like bah.. No more restrictions, no more upcoming pains, no more bad memories from me, no more such a me that u are looking thru the glass at, no more running over to your place to irritate you, no more questionings, no more a burden, no more quarrelings, no more tears, no more heart-stabbings. No more me and you. Freedom. =)

One last thing, thank you.. Thank you for loving me and giving me a chance to love you too. I'm sorry that i can't be the one to walk with you till the end.. You are once another very important person in my life. I will never forget that. The sun will shine on you. Well, i never liked the sun.. I dun mind the moon to shine on me instead.. =)

Friendships last forever but not love, at least that's what i still believe.

Life's like a box of chocolates. You'll never know what you'll get until you opened it.. Chocolates are nice. The taste of the chocolates in your mouth, the bitterness and the sweetness. Best of all, it lingers even though it's gone. So happy to have taste it and later regretful after finishing it.. Lolx.. That's not my case. Happy that i had to chance to even taste it. =) Dun withdraw juz becoz u are afraid. Forever living in fear will forever live with regrets. Dun cry becoz it's over, smile becoz it happened. Life's short, who knows what tml might brings.. Dun sigh, becoz when u sigh, happiness escapes.. So why not turn sighs into flowers..? =)

Angel may not always take the form of a creature with wings, lighting rings above their head, it could also appear in human's form, could be a person around you, or even a person you wouldn't even notices beside you. Pls Cherish them before they given up on you. From Xing aka Zhixing. Never knew such wisdom can be coming outta you, ah beng.. =X hehe..

Human hearts are weak, thus they bound to rely on one another. No matter tough they act like it, there's sure to be weakness in them.. You are willingly to put down that mask for me.. I'm glad but i still have my stand.. I might be cursed..? No worries coz i am already cursed since the day i'm born when i'm not supposed to be.. Dun worry, i'll return to the old me and will let u see the old me. The one that u never seen before. But like u said, i might not be able to find another anymore. Well, i dun really care coz i used to never believe in r/s.. Haha.. Anyway, such thing can juz post an order de mah... =X Well, the only thing is i can't live without are friends. I got attracted or rather fall in love very easily with anyone but not easily been revealed.. Maybe i shld learn, learn to always give chances.. My heart is supposed to be shared by everyone that i know, so let it be at that, let it come back to what it supposed to be. You still wanna board the ship that used to be so selfish..? Time will show.. But i said again.. I'm not him and he's not me.. I'm who i am.. Treating me juz like him, will only let me see the shadows. I dun mind being the 2nd him if i really got what it takes, like u said... Haha.. No confidence wor.. But i will try my best if it's decided. Dun worry abt falling, coz there's still me behind you.. Sound familiar..? =P

My surroundings got so many gals. I always flirt around one after another. I club and drink and kept beo-ing gals. I dun keep promises. I'm always not sensitive to gals and always dun care abt gals' feelings. I lie and bluff and hurt. Such a me, dun deserved to be loved. So, gals pls stay away from me. I'm a bad guy. I can give nothing but bad memories to u all. I'm a devil in diguised. Quick, run for your life~~~!

Anyway, i dun need a gf to survive. Wait a min, that sounds familiar.. OH!! That's my old line. =.=" Ya, i dun need a gf to survive, but i can't survive without gals. Sigh i'm so cheap. Such a bastard who toys with gals' feelings. My guys friends can be witnesses.. Lolx. =P

Nevertheless, i dun really care anymore.

Actually what he told you is right. Gotta always put on the best mask in front of others to gain good impressions and respects. Well, u are right too, coz it's really very tiring and tedious to do these.. Whether u like it or not, ppl will still do it to u. So why not do it like what Caocao said? 寧可我負天下, 也不可天下人負我. Reality is cruelty. Stick close to me and you will soon realised it.. You've got the ambition that i like. Not many are like you despite being a gal.. I always admire gals with such character. Oh i miss EY.... >.<>

你問我為何如此的安靜..? 你問我為何有種如此難過悲傷的感覺..? 我還是如此的安靜... 並不是什麼都不說, 而是有說不出的悲傷.. 你說的一切讓我覺得你已經麻木了.. 我本已為我也是一樣的心情可是我錯了... 當我自己一個人的時候, 它來了... 慢慢的, 那些美好的回憶回來了.. 我自己一個在那傻笑.. 忽然之間, 眼睛莫名其妙的濕了.. 想起了當時的畫面.. 兩人傻傻的在那坐到天亮.. 慢慢的又想起了更多的美好回憶.. 回憶都是美好的.. 真的濕了, 我也無法抵抗了, 無法應藏了, 無法忍住了.. 就讓它流吧, 希望它會幫我帶走我的所有的一切.. 痛, 就讓它痛吧.. 已經無所謂了.. 算了..

When learning ur story between u and him that time, no matter how everyone asked u to leave him, u juz dun wanna.. That time no matter how they bully u when he is not around when he is inside, u still dun wanna leave.. The you that i saw and understand, is what i'm looking for and i'm willingly to wait..

That time u called and said u wanted to go to the beach and wanted a drink as well.. I went and accompany u.. Gotten two cans of beer and went to sit on the beach.. With a little music from Cabana.. Nice.. The breeze is cooling and the sea sounds peaceful.. 'yi shan yi shan liang jing jing, mang tian dou shi xiao wei xing..' Haha.. "I heard a rumor, when two person at the beach at night and if it rains, fate will bring the duo together.." And it did rain a little that time...

Suddenly got a call from u early morning and u were crying and saying u were feeling cold.. Went down to look for u to see u shivering in that drenched clothings.. Sat down beside u and litted my cigerattes.. Asked u what happened but u juz kept quiet.. Then spur out, "很冷..." Without a second thought, i pull u close.. "不要, 我很濕.." I din really care coz the concern was u were cold..

I told u that my heart is already given to someone else le, despite that u still continue to call me chat for a few more days.. That time i was uncertain with her becoz of ur words to me.. Yes i was shaken.. But still, i carry on to be it that way without showing.. Well, u did stole a little of me that time..

When we started, everytime u see me your face is showing the happiness all over.. Each and every moment u juz wanna to hear my voice, see me, feel me.. Well, me too though i was appearing bo-chap all the while.. Every single moment i wish the time will just stop..

When i took u to the studio for ur long-wanted event, i can see and feel ur nervous.. But u are happy and glad too..

On ur bday when i surprised u with a necklace, u were so happy.. Grining here and there.. Everyone was like, "What's that so sparkling?" and u were like 'hehe..'

When we are going down the escalator at suntec i was one step lower and u from the back hug me real tight.. It was the 1st time i felt that, I was smiling..

At the ktv room, u can just put ur legs on the sofa and over my legs.. So afraid that i would be bored coz i dun wanna sing much.. In fact, i wun get bored coz u were there..

During the visits, u were so shy that u kept hanging on to me..
During the outings, u tried your best to make friends with all my friends..
During the stays, u tried your best to make me feel comfortable as if i'm at home..

On our anniversary, when i showed u the bag that thought to have been sold out, and u were overjoyed that u finally got it.. That's what i wanted to see on your face..

We went blading together hand-in-hand, laughing and smiling every now and then.. Well, though i'm not really into it but i enjoyed it coz i'm with you..

Thanks for all these memories.. They will not be forgotten.. Forever etched inside me and stay there till the day for me to leave this world...

What's there in the future..? More memories or more sorrows..? I guess i can only give u more sorrows than happiness.. 你想要的我却不能够给你我全部, 我能给的却又不是你想要拥有的.. I guess I'm not someone who can give u happiness.. So, why not make it stay there as memories..? Maybe it's best that way.. I've lost all bad memories so the next time i see you maybe i can still smile..

This post is specially for you only.. I'll grant u a few more days to prepare.. I'll contact u soon.. In the meantime just let us both be alone... The time will come soon..

Yesterday was indeed a long day.. Bedok is quite packed with ppl.. =.= Becoz of the pasar malam bah.. Went a bit shopping after settling the hp issues.. Was supposed to meet up with jason for dinner before meeting another jason at wala-wala. In the end it was cancelled coz his mum bought his dinner already and as usual lazy to come out liao.. haha.. Looking at bedok hawker, nothing seems to be able to get my appetite up despite my hunger.. Thus, shall proceed to holland wala-wala to eat.. Great atmosphere with live-band.. They were playing the band's album.. Power voice she got there.. Nice.. No smoking inside. =.= Had to go all the way out to 1st floor outside on the road then can smoke.. I wonder how life's gonna be in July... sigh.. When i came back, half glass of my red wine gone.. =.= Anyway, i'm fine with it coz i dun really wanna drink much on an empty stomach.. Somemore the mood wasn't that good also.. When he went off, i knew i had to do my part.. Thus, that 'ok lor' is not something that i forced myself to do but rather my heart told me to do it.. Din know so much until u said so.. Well, everyone else is putting up a mask. Sometimes, even without knowing.. Life is that contradicting... What is that saddness i felt..? Seems fine but actually not.. My part is to listen and not to advise.. Well, no one can control one's future/path.. Anyway, seriously i've learnt alot.. Haha.. The walk to BQ wasn't coincidence, rather intentional.. I wasn't the least sensitive enuff to find out that.. Anyway, all the words are still lingering in me even till now. =) Trying to understand and to feel it..

Anyway, when i was left alone, walk back to BQ. Promised carol that i will go find her and support her 1st day of work.. Darn the place is so freaking cold. =.= Dare not drink much or rather dare not drink too fast.. I still need to keep myself in control.. If drunk, i might really cannot take it.. Some says drunk will forget everything. It's bullshit. Dead-drunk will forget everything, before that drunk will remember everything.. That's the toughest part.. Everything beyond control.. I dun wan that to happen again juz like that once in waiting bar..

When i'm talking to u on the stairs, can feel that u are feeling much better already.. That area had quite some memories also eh..? =) Like u said, it's comfortable there.. Feels good.. I can even remember good memories despite the bad memories.. I can still smile.. Maybe at there only can make me smile.. There seems to be able to cleanse it...

When one without desire will be able to get closer, but without the desire how do u desire what u wanted in return..? Yup it's messy.. But din u always able to get what u wanted no matter what..? =)

WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!!

Sotsugyo~sayonara wa ashita no

Moshimo hitotsu dake
(If there was one,)
Tatta hitotsu dake
(Just one wish,)
Kanaerareru nara
(That could be granted…)
Nani wo inoru kana
(What would I wish for?)
Ima doko ni iru no
(Where could you be right now?)
Ima dare to iru no
(Who are you with right now?)
Aoi sora miage
(Looking up at the blue sky,)
Sotto toikakeru
(I whisper these questions.)

With you sugu soba ni
(With you – you who were right at my side)
Ita koro no kimi wa inai
(Are no longer here.)
With you hanaretemo
(With you – I promised you that I wouldn’t change,)
Kawaranai to yakusoku shita no ni
(Even if we are apart, but…)
Tatoeba bokutachi ga omoide ni naru
(If we become memories…)
Soba no nukumori ni wa kanawanai kara
(Even memories cannot contend with the warmth at your side,)
Setsunai tameiki ga fui ni koboreta
(So a wistful sigh unerringly welled forth.)
Maiagare haruka tooku kimi ni todoku you ni
(May it take flight and go so far that it reaches you.)


A theme OST from Inuyasha.. A right song at the right moment.. Anyway, been slacking too much already.. Can really feel the rot inside.. And someone agreed that i'm such a piggy... I just can't get to sleep leh then i seriously din heard the alarm clock mah.. Not that i dun wanna call to wake u up.. =.=" The Z-monster too strong already.. lolx.. =P

Something is not right.. Ya, something is not quite right.. Anyway, it doesn't really matters already.. What is a dog's characteristic? It ain't fake. Anyway, it doesn't really matters already.. What is a dog's known nature? Anyway, it doesn't really matters already.. Tainted heart, izzit able to untaint or continue to remain tainted..? Nobody knows.. Destiny is not fate but a choice to be made.

Ain't need the sun to shine. Ain't need to be smiling. More reasons need not be raining. Though it's cloudy but it ain't necessary to rain or rather unable to rain. There's no need for refraining coz those melodies had no effects or rather had felt only solitude.. Not even lonely.. You had grown up and matured. =)

I open my eyes to find myself in a small white room.. With a small table on my left and a fan near my head.. It looks familiar.. As i turn to the right, i saw her next to me.. As usual, check on her and see if she's still breathing and then i smile.. Is this a dream or is this the past..? I've got no idea but in it i prayed.. "God, if this is a dream, let me die in it and stay at this moment forever.. I dun wanna wake up.. Please dun let me wake up.. Onegaiishimatsu!!"

The Rasmus - Funeral Song

I dumped you again
Fon't understand
It's happened before
Can't take it no more

These foolish games
Always end up in confusion
I'll take you back
Just to leave you once again

I died in my dreams
What's that supposed to mean?
Got lost in the fire
I died in my dreams
Reaching out for your hand
My fatal desire

I've failed you again'
Cause I let you stay
I used to pretend
That I felt ok

Just one big lie
Such a perfect illusion
I made you mine
Just to hurt you once again

I died in my dreams
What's that supposed to mean?
Got lost in the fire
I died in my dreams
Reaching out for your hand
My fatal desire

Taken from Mel..

The Other Side Of Love

For most, love is when they held hands tightly with the one they love.For me, love is only remembering how I held his hands to keep him warm while he was shivering. That's love.

For most, love is when they went out on their first date feeling sheepish and shy towards each other.For me, love is when he readily wants to hide away and not looking into my eyes the first time we met. And we weren't out alone. But I felt like I was in heaven. That's love.

For most, love is receiving the first gift and treasuring it more than anything. For me, his first ever personal thing to be given to me was a greeting card with only a sentence handwritten by him in there. And somemore that card wasn't solely from him. But I treasure it more than anything. That's love.

For most, love is listening to the songs they both love and smiling with memories together.For me, love is listening to the songs we both shared and loved and knowing we will never share them again but yet am thankful they once belonged to us. That's love.

For most, love is when one party falls sick and yearns to see the other party.For me, love is when he's sick and I stupidly goes looking for him without being asked to and only to leave the bottle of herbal tea and gifts in the "bulky refuse bin" which he collected from an hr later. That's love.

For most, love is doing gifts and giving it to the special someone.For me, love is accidentally spoiling the cross stitch meant for him and still keeping it till today becos it means so much still. That's love. (now u know what is the gift I wanted to do for you and spolit the other time)

For most, love is when the guy comforts the girl when something bad happened and when she's crying.For me, love is when he knows I'm crying without me telling him. And he sighs and says nothing else. And by knowing he knows, I'm comforted somehow. That's love.

For most, love is a hug that says "I can't wait to see u again." when it's time to leave.For me, love is when I hugged him and not knowing if we'll ever meet again after this hug. That's love.

For most, love is being called "dear, sweetie, honey, darling etc."For me, love is when he simply says my name or even types my name. Even my surname. It sends shudders. That's love.

For most, love is being happy every minute when they're together.For me, love is when he's happy every minute when I'm with him. That's love.

For most, love is when "I love you" is expressed daily in different forms of acts. From hugs to msgs.For me, love is when I know he knows I'm always there despite him not saying a thing or telling me he appreciates my presence and still be there for him. That's love.

For most, love is when quarreling always ends with a much stronger r/ship. For me, love is when he's so dumb and doesn't even know he needs to say sorry but yet, I can't seem to find myself angry with him time and again. That's love.

For most, love is when they first kissed.For me, love is when I kissed him on the cheek and he said "Msg me when u get home." right after that while smiling. And the next day, it seemed nothing had happened. But yet, it still remained in my heart and I know it's real. That's love.

For most, love is everlasting and forever.For me, love is short but prolonged by memories and withstand and upheld by thoughts of us. That's love.

For most, love is blind and could spell danger.For me, love is clear as the sky and spells sweetness even though my skies were grey most of the time and it's all bittersweet memories. That's love.

For most, love is when they say "I do".For me, love is when I say "I don't."

That's love.

You'll always be a part of me, xiaozhu. I'll always rmb u and the times we shared though it wasn't really that magnificent. But to me, it was the world then. Thank you for everything. Thank you for remaining to be quiet till now. Thank you for leaving me alone. Thank you for not telling me u miss me too. Thank you for not doing anything to make me stay. Thank you for pretending everything is happy for you. Thank you for not doing what I wish u would do. Thank you for always being that you that I've always loved and hated at the same time. Thank you for not telling me u're hurting too. Thank you for not showing u dun like this outcome too. Thank you for allowing me to still see u on msn once in a while. Thank you for all the wonderful memories this one yr plus. I believe one day, we will meet again. And when we do, promise me, you'll smile at me.

Last but not least, I'll learn to love again. I'll let others love me too. And I'll be happy. Be happy too ok? That's my permanent wish on my wishlist. Loving you.... xiaozhu. I still think this name suits u so well. Haha. Till we meet, I'm Gonna Miss You!...

God bless you.

She's so... Dunno how to put it in words.. Wonder why he walked outta her.. Sigh reality bites. Life still goes on, sweetie. =)

Finally booked my class 2b.. =.= Been so lazy to go.. lol.. She said she wanted to go also, then called her but unable to wake her up until 3.30pm.. sibei piggy lor.. oops! =X Well, it's my fault.. Made u slept so late yest.. My bad.. This is the 1st time hearing her super sleepy voice... And it was... Omg how i wish i did record it down and set it as her ringtone. lolx.. Went Bukit Gombak 1st while waiting her to get ready. Walking around the neighbourhood aimlessly.. Zzzzzzzz.. Then got scolded saying that i shld had went her place to wait for her so that she can quickly prepared.. Well, i really dunno ur address mah though i did sent u home yest.. Went to enrol, in the end i'm the only one enrolling coz she only needs to top up acc.. =.="

By the time we finished everything it's almost 6pm already.. She's feeling a bit sick and my head getting heavy.. =.=" From there took train all the way to Bedok to sell her N80 and 7610. Felt so sleepy but i need to accompany her till her bf finish work so bo bian lor.. After settling her hp, went LJS for dinner. Both of us are extremely hungry coz we haven't eaten for the whole day. Combo 1 + combo 3 + coleshaw + clam chowder + clam chowder. Pig out sia... Lolx.. She really can eat.. We took almost an hr eating.. =.=" Then i accompany her to Dohby Gaught. We chatted alot. On Zhiwei, Jason, her bf, sec sch, poly, future. Then as we were near the MRT smoking while waiting for her bf to call, a thought came to me.. I told her "Her workplace is very near here.." She can sense it again and told me to go and find her.. But i told her i dun wanna see her yet. Then i turn silent again.. More and more thoughts coming in.. Ya, bad memories. She started to talk abt her friends and tried to lead me back again.. Glad she is there to accompany me.. Such things opp gender can do a better job.. I'm glad i had such a friend.. Seeing u being so strong, there's no way i can let myself stranded.. Thanks.. All this while, it must be hard for u..

In memories of Xing:
Thanks Jasmine, for making me realise friendships are more important than relationships.
Thanks Celena, for releasing me from the seal.
Thanks Carisa, for bringing up my self-confidence.
Thanks Victoria, for making me realise to take life more seriously and work towards future.
Thanks Shan, for making me believe in love.
Thanks Dawn, for teaching me how to be strong.

People who are not mentioned doesn't mean u are not impt, just that these ppl left a deep impression in me so they deserved a placing in me..

What is ur status now? Dun ask me. What is the conclusion? Dun ask me. How are u two getting on now? Dun ask me. Just dun ask, if i wanna say i will say. Have u forgotten that's my character? I've put it on already. So not used to putting on accessories.. =.=" Anyway, i just want to get back all my friends.. And most importantly, I want my own house! Goddamn it. Everything is not going my way. I will survive. Take my hands and walk me outta the dark, my friend..

The frustation i felt in u. The hidden meaning in ur words. Something bad must had happened but u never said. I understand.. After 7yrs and shit happens again.. The three of us like in the same bad state. Haha.. Though i'm slightly better but guys, i'm always around. What are brothers for, right? =) U said we dun need gals to survive. Since when do we need one to survive? Like u said, u can't simply give up the whole forest becoz of a tree. That's what she told me too.. The equation, almost as complicated. It can be solved but too much of a hassle so why not just fark it eh? i know u almost gave up on all gals.. Well, u got the criteria. It ain't hard for ya. Main prob is both u and i are the same, thus, it hurts deep.. But what to do..

I'm not trying to be Zhang Zheng Yue, duh. All those if u look carefully is Roman craving. Yes, time. I had sealed the time.. When i 1st saw them i simply love them and that time she asked if i'm gonna buy one for her, well i intend to. But now it's purely for myself. Those will remind me of how hurting love can be, so as to tell me dun have to be serious. I mean my words yesterday when i told u guys that.. But kinda ironic when i myself is not doing what i'm thinking. lol..

U know that i'm not in a good mood so u abandoned jason to accompany me..? I'm feeling fine lah.. Haha.. Not as bad already.. But anyway thanks.. Seems like u are able to tell me everything regardless of anything. I was quite surprised though.. I thought only at first u would tell me. Haha.. But anyway, i'm always ur listening ear. =) U want me to pull ur chair over.. U were confident that i can do it eh. =.=" Haha.. Well, i can still manage lah.. =P Did that place brought back lotsa memories to u? Be it good or bad.. Those were the days but i'm kind of interested in knowing more.. Well, more to come anyway.. I can see that u are holding back ur urge to enjoy.. Hmm.. That doesn't seems to be like u.. Maybe u are shy becoz my friend is around? Haha.. I guess it's the music.. Anyway, either one to me is the same. =) Got train before one ok! Hehe =P I'm looking forward to this friday coz by right i had another one on saturday but had been push to the 14th.. So, let's enjoy. U know what's the two songs eh? Yup, our songs.

I'm now on holiday mood coz i'm outta job!! Lolx.. It's been quite sometime since i last rested.. But this is a short rest.. Sigh.. Soon, gonna start the hectic life again.. But hopefully there can be a twist and turn in the path ahead. I wanted something different and thrilling and dangerous.. Lemme give it a serious thought and serious discussion with him. Now relax 1st.. There are things i haven't do yet.. >_<>

I'm tired. Just leave me alone.