Living in this world is indeed quite a hard thing to do for some.. Despite that, can still see people doing well. One classic example is Mustafa. When he started out working, he's merely a shoe polisher.. Now he had quite some assets.. How did he do that? =.=" Though he had passed away, his name was not washed away and was greatly remembered by many.

People always say that it's easy to turn bad, it's hard to turn good. How true it is.. Once a rotten apple, always a rotten apple. No doubt abt that. However, one thing i'm sure abt. A rotten apple may not kill you but a ground cherry might. So somehow, it can be deceiving.. Anyway, ppl wun understand until they tried. Is this so-called No Pain No Gain? Too much of a pain i guess.. Human nature is like that. Facts of life eh? Sad.

Lately dunno wat's wrong with me.. I'm easily influenced by bad things and bad thinking.. Some things are really not within our control.. Watever will come, will come.. Watever will go, will go.. Too much things in the head can get it burst. Even though let out most of it doesn't make any diff to me as it wun lesser my misery.. Maybe it's time i go into isolation-mode. I dun feel like seeing anyone, i dun feel like toking to anyone, i dun feel like interacting with anyone, i dun feel like bothering anyone. I really hope i can juz sleep all that i want. But i can't. Feel like crying but no tears for me to shed. Feel like dying but no life to give. Feel like working but no mood to carry on. Feel like slacking but no time to spare. Shacks. Life sucks. There's ups and downs in life, which makes life more meaningful. I really wonder where had my temper gone to.. I really wonder where had my tears gone to.. I really wonder where had my mood gone to.. A body without soul? A brain without brain cells? Watever.

My life seems more complete lately.. Despite the stressful work, the hectic life, the family pressures, etc.. Though i know i can still managed all by myself even though there isn't this 'little hope of ray' in my life.. However, with this little 'ray' had indeed improved my life a lot.. At least i know i do not wish to give up anything.. I wish to thank this 'ray' in front of everyone.. However, due to circumstances, i can't.. All that i can do is make her happy.. As long as she is happy, i'm happy. Be it juz a companionship or juz a comfort. Be it a little hug or a little kiss. As long as u are satisfied, i'm oredi satisfied.. I know i juz can't compared these to my past as Karen.. Both are diff.. Wat's in the past had past. It's simply unfair to compare. No one is an item to be used for comparision.. Thus, i wish i'm not being compared to anyone around you.. Even if things are not gonna make up for us, i wun blamed anyone. Simply, i can juz let it go.. Mian qiang shi mei you xing fu de.. As you know, both our character are so alike.. So much in common.. So similar in thinking.. However, i shall let heaven decide our fate. =)

That time saw shan in RO.. I haven't been active in there for a long long time liao.. 1st thing she saw me is shout out my name and came over to my side and kept kissing me ingame.. =.= I'm so full of saliva sia.. lolx. Then that stupid TPL also come and disturb.. =.= But anyway, glad to see shan ingame.. At least i know that she is still around in game.. =) Dunno why but i kept worrying for her no matter wat, no matter when, no matter how.. Always thinking whether has she found a job, always thinking whether has she eaten or not, always thinking whether got ppl bully her or not.. Afterall, she's only 16 this yr.. But for this friend, frankly speaking, i do not know much abt her.. I do not know her deep enuff.. Sometimes, there are doubts abt her, abt wat she told me.. Naturally, i used to be a bad guy. I've done a lot of bad things and there would surely be stuffs that i do not wish others to know coz that would only invite unnecessary sympathy and stuffs.. So, whenever being asked, or being force to say, i would not tell the facts.. It's not that i'm not 100% having doubts on her.. Juz tat, some things are better be kept in secret then be reveal.. I can understand de.. I'm a guo lai ren.. She ah, saw on my blog abt prata then ask me where got nice prata.. Then ask me go pei her go eat.. haha.. cute sia.. wan ask me out juz say so lor.. =P Even u dun mention "ai si ni", i would still will go eat with u de.. =)

Early this wk Erica ask me to give her a morning call on Tue morning 7am.. She need to go back to malaysia to get her IC. But i myself also cannot wake up.. =.= Yest nite called her and asked abt her.. Got to know that tat day she woke up at 9am instead but still got go back lah.. Spent abt 2hrs to travel back and also some money coz she took a cab back.. =.= (my fault i guess.. sob) Then when she reach there to collect, she got fed-up with the authorities.. They said her IC is ready for collect and muz collect within 2wks if not will be fined. Then on Tue, she was unable to get her IC.. =.= They said it's ready liao but haven't delivered to them yet so muz wait for another 2wks. She got so angry on the wasted trip, time and money. Therefore, she went for a hair-cut and highlight her hair to green colour.. green.. omg.. =/ I haven't seen her yet so i cannot come to a conclusion whether nice or not.. But maybe i'll be asking her along on sat to Devils' Bar. However, if my favourite is going then i'm not asking Erica to go liao.. At least i'm sure i will Never get slapped by my fave. hee.. But anyway, Erica this sor por also a bit craze de.. Saying me treat her very good.. =.= Got one malay guy kept pestering her then she say maybe need me go help her out by pretending to be her bf. =( My misfortune~~ Lolx.. No lah juz kidding. Juz a helping out.. No prob de. ;)

Long time dun have a long chat with Xuehui liao.. Tat nite i was toking to her on msn. We had a long chat. It was indeed a long and meanful chat.. I knew this guai guai girl when i was in army.. Tat time in army, me and david kept going out and stuffs. Den there's one nights-out, we went to Bedok with James for makan and walk walk. tat time i was not into r/s yet so i dun care much while David go there juz see whether can do a little fishing there or not.. James seeing us like tat, he suggested intro Xuehui to us but too bad, she was busy studying so she not meeting us.. Too bad? i guess it's a blessing in disguise.. =.= James seems to really wish to intro us a guai gal.. Cute and guai gal. For me, my response was like, erm.. ok lor.. Kinda bochap type.. As for David, can really see him grinning for ear to ear.. =.= Can see his vampire's teeth liao. *sweat* Thinking abt this prob, i've thot of asking James to 4get all abt it coz i do not wish to invite troubles.. However, spilled water cannot be put back.. Thus, i told James that let me have her number so that i can befriend her before David does.. I know tat David would not snatch a friend's gf. Especially tat time he treated me as his buddy.. Therefore i got to know Xuehui but this is not the end.. It's juz a begining.. Though merely a friend, David might not wan to give up.. Thus, i would have to chase xuehui.. Getting to know xuehui, i came to know that she is seriously a very guai gal.. When not studying, she would go to library to find books to read.. I always tease her that she gonna finish up all the books in the library one day.. Haha.. As a new friend, i never smoke in front of her. Then came one day, i emntion to her that i was a smoker.. She hate smokers.. Somemore, tat time i have to chase her.. But yet, i have to give up smoking juz becoz i have to chase her.. Well, tat time i almost did but due to some reasons i gave up the idea of quitting after endless pain of enduring the stupid craving for three days.. >_< style="font-style: italic;">
I'm really not pitying u.. I really duno how does all this happen.. I never expected things to turn out like this.. Unexplainable stuffs.. Maybe it's juz like wat u said.. It might be a blessing in disguise.. But one thing i'm sure of. I'm indeed following my heart and doing wat my feelings tell me to do.. Watever the future may holds, i juz wan to treasure every single moment with you. No matter how hard life gonna be, i shall have no regrets in watever i've done and watever ur future decision shall be.. Behind me, there's always you.. Behind you, there's always me.. When u shouldered too much and almost cannot take it anymore, juz remember that i'm always ready to catch you when u gonna fall..
However, i'm going to make a real tough decision of my life.. This gonna decide my future.. For your sake, i'm going to make this decision of something.. Pardon me for not saying anything abt this.. Everyone has got their secrets. For me, this is my greatest secret which NO ONE knows.. The decision gonna be made maybe tml.. When i made that decision and i will see how is the result.. If it's a good result, i promise you i will tell you abt it. A secret which i will only tell You.. But, touchwood, if it's gonna be a bad result, i really dunno wat to do.. If really a bad result, i will need a lot of time to myself to straighten out my thoughts and replan all my plans coz it will have a drastic change in my life...

Tired.. Guess i shld stop here... Bye all..

Juz read something from somewhere.. Somehow, kinda having mixed feeling abt this.. Haiz.. Dunno wat to say and how to handle.. =.= Anyway, leave that at the moment.. The more i think i abt it the more confused i get.

I used to be a damn guy who not worth living in this world wasting those rice and wheat.. Even though if i'm gone, no one would really care.. This is so-called "better off dead".. Dunno how.. I've started to feel that i'm suddenly needed in this world.. I suddenly feel that if i'm gone, there'll be a drastic change in certain ppl.. Especially my mom.. Afterall, i've started to can't bear to live this world.. There are things that i seems can't to put down..

Sometime i really dunno how the hell i can endure thru that 'special pain of hopelessness'.. Is that an eternal pain that's engraved into me ever since i'm born? Is that a retribution that's bestowed to me for wat i've done in my previous life? Unbearable and uncontrollable pain that cannot be solved in short time.. I guess i'll need at least another 10yrs before i can ease that pain.. It's a pain that no one can help me with.. Is a pain but cannot be describe with merely words.. Luckily it doesn't occur very often.. Sometimes once a wk; Sometimes once a month..

This is my last job i have to finish before i can finally release myself and do my own things.. It is also the final thing i had to settle before i can leave.. I do not wish to escape from reality neither do i wish to involve others.. It's better to be left unknown.. It's better not to know anything abt it..

These few nites i've been chatting with Erica.. I told her i intend to find another job.. Now i'm working almost full day plus a bit of sideline here and there.. I intend to get another job which hopefully it's at nite.. Then she told me not to tire-out myself, so i replied "Then u support me lor".. Hahaha.. Then she scold me asked me go die then i replied, "die? si le geng hao.. shen me dou bu you xiang le.." Then she ask me not to die.. =.= So hard to please.. haha.. But anyway, i wun give up so easily......at least i wun give up without trying..

I've always said that being into this world is like a cruel thing.. Coz will have to suffer in this cruel world.. "Since you are born you cried while the world rejoiced.." Ups and downs are part of life.. It all depends on self on how you look at it and handle it.. Some ppl are fated to be born poor; some are born with a silver spoon in their mouth; some are born with a golden spoon.. All these doesn't matter.. A rich person may not be happy; a poor person may not be sad. Fated to be will be. It all depends how how ppl choose their paths and how they look at themselves.. There are ppl who are living in poor country who always got problem seeking their meals.. There are ppl who lived in poor country and yet they are like kings.. There are ppl who are rich but they are lonely.. There are ppl who are poor but they are happy..

If u look at life, u can see a 'normal' things going around.. "People tends to go for wealth. No matter how hard they work, they wanted to lead a better life. If not for self, at least for the next generation." "People tends to go for health when they got wealth. No matter how much they paid, they wanted to stay healthy."

For wealth, for health, it doesn't really matter. As long there's a goal in life.. How abt love? We human dun live to love neither would we love to live..
'Live to Love' - You mean u actually living in this world juz to love? Wat abt friends and family? Even though not rich but average also wun have such thinking..
'Love to Live' - You mean u actually love a person juz to live on? Without love u would die? Then wat abt all monks and nuns in the world?

Human matured as time goes by.. BUT not all. Some still remains in the same place repeating the same thing over and over again.. IE, i've got a friend who does nothing but betting on soccer. Easy money yeah? Juz sitting there watching 22 people chasing a ball and when ur judgement show u the path u win money. How fun.. Not! It's pure stupidity. Not only soccer. Toto, 4D, horce-racing, etc. If really that easy i would not have been working so freaking hard for dunno wat the fark i'm working for. Working long hours with bad treatments and endure them juz to make ends meet.. Before i started working when i was young, spending money was so hell easy as ABC. Even though started to work at age of 12, i can freely spend on watever i wanted. I can buy watever i wanted. I can do watever i wanted. I can forgot all abt those hardships that i've been thru when i'm very very young. I've been thru all sorts of stuffs.. When ppl confide in me abt how pitiful they are, abt how hard their life are, how painful their heart are, how regretful they are.. I know. All these feelings i know and i can understand.

There are many things that i do know but ppl around me doesn't know wat do i know or wat do i understand when they tell me things.. Coz they din know that i've been thru the path that they are walking on now.. For i've never tell.. Well, there isn't a need to tell all that are in my mind and wat i'm thinking.. Nowadays technology is so high-tech. I can jolly-well post my thoughts in here, blog. It's not for ppl to see. It more of a self-confide.. I do have great friends and pals out there for me to confide in. But sometimes i can be very selfish.. As for some ppl whom i do not wish to go confide in them is becoz. They themselves never confide in me. I know they have got problems and got things to say but when u facing them, they would said nothing.. Care and concern gone into nothing is wat i hate most in my life.. When goodwill being turned down is a sad thing.. Thus, to those blacklisted ppl, i will not tell them anything. Well, in this blog, yes they can still read my mind but so wat? All these are not 100% of all that in my mind. Till date, this blog merely consist of roughly 30% of all the stuffs in that stupid brain of mine. ppl who know my past doesn't really know wat kind of person i'm now. ppl who know me now doesn't know wat kind of person i'm 10yrs ago or even 15yrs ago.. My background is the most complicated.. Till date there's no one who really fully understand me inside out. Be it my ex-girlfriends or my close friends.. NONE of them.

Enuff ranting of those. Lately i've discovered a friend. Her thinking is of 'weird'. maybe it's normal. When you see two person of different gender being close does that really means the two of them are together? Me and celena being so 'close' together and yet we are still friends. Can't friends of diff gender be close? All in her mind is only one thing, 'love' & 'relationship'. Hopeless. Childish. Naive. That's why somethings reading/watching too much abt love can be a bad thing.. Sigh.. I dun even know wat can i type to mean wat i'm trying to say..

As for another friend of mine. Looking at her is indeed a reflection of me in a mirror.. Reflecting me on how i treat all my friends even though i have to lose out something.. Dignity, pride, money, time, effort, even love.. It's hard to find someone of such character.. So far, not much ppl can compared to her.. Willingness to give up something juz for a friend, giving up freedom juz for a friend, giving in to someone even if it's against her will.. Always think abt others before self..

Zhu ren shi wei kuai le zhi ben. Ke shi, ren bu ji tian zhu di mie.. Dan shi, ren tai guo wei ji zi shen zi mie. Ke shi, ren wang wang shen bu you ji..

Hai.. When ppl is too nice, others tend to take advantages.. I can understand how that supposed to feel.. Coz i've been thru wat she is going thru.. Well, u know who i'm refering to.. I know you would read this.. Dun worry abt giving in or giving up. This is not abt being not following ur heart.. Coz it's ur heart that tells u to do it.. =) Need not worry abt cannot take it anymore coz i'm will be there for you.. You know me.. I give more than i take.. You can take from me as much as you can.. There are already so many ppl taking from me, juz one more you, makes no different to me. Somemore, you are special. I will never think that as 'taking advantages'.. So go on and take.. I'll be more than happy for u to do that.. Remember, not all ppl in this world can let ppl take and not wanting any returns.. I can be an exception. =)

Btw, my horoscope sign is Aquarius.. Got this from the web and seems quite true.. Haha..
"Making up is hard to do, unless you pay special attention to your love's Sun Sign. The next time you find yourself in the dog house, consider the following tips. Pretty soon, you'll be back in your beloved's arms, rather than scratching at the back door for scraps!

Invite Aquarius to discuss your problems over coffee. The Water-bearer can't resist an free exchange of ideas. Resist getting emotional with this sign, or you'll remain single. Don't keep any secrets from Aquarius, or your relationship will continue to stagnate. If you want this sign to stick around, you've got to keep everything out in the open. Be more open to adventure, and take the Water-bearer's suggestions from time to time."

Long time no post liao.. Busy busy and busy but i dunno wat i'm busy with.. >_<

Last sunday got a call from shan. She wanted to have a drink with at East Coast. She lives nearby there anyway.. So i went on and meet her downstairs her place. Then we proceed on to Cheers and get 4 cans of beer then we went on to East Coast. We settle down on the beach and started drinking while she pour out wat's on her mind.. Hmm.. Drinking at there with some background music from the pub while hearing the wave as it comes and goes.. Slight breeze under the clear moonless sky with lotsa shining stars.. She juz broke off with her bf and her bf juz got together with another gal.. Haiz.. Like wat ppl always say, men tend to have a change of heart so easily.. How i wish i can also.. sigh.. Anyway, we even lay down on the sand.. Staring at the sky full of stars.. How peaceful.. I really love serenity.. Calmness.. peacefulness.. quietness.. maybe loneliness.. I'm used to it though.. i'm not afraid of it neither will i escape from it.. heh.. Well, i'm quite happy that at least i can be there for her when she's needing it.. Lending a hand, a listening ear, a shoulder are wat i always like to do.. No matter who needs it.. But of coz if someone i dun like tell me that she/he need it, i will say no.. Not worth my time. =) So those who got turn down will know who they are.. Haha.. But dun play cheat lah.. When i'm really busy, better dun 'fan' me.. =P

I was asked, "How to forget a person..?" A tough nut hard to crack.. I dun have a definite answer to this.. I only know one thing.. I will not put in all my effort into love but spread it among those around me.. Be it guys or gals, all shall have equal share.. Though i might be biased at times.. Giving much more to those more worthy.. I will juz have to follow my heart juz like someone who always tell me so.. =)

Not wanting to put in more effort is indeed selfish.. I do not wish for that too.. Once a glass is broken, no matter how hard u tried to put them together, there are still cracks.. Well, if in a relationship i dun put in effort, the memories left behind wun be as memorable.. That i understand but i really dunno wat to do.. Skeptical eh..? Haha.. Wat to do..

The more i find a person good, the more i not wanting to get any closer to her.. Juz like my previous experience which was ages ago.. Afterall, i'm a bad guy..
The more i find a person who is no good, the more i'm not interested in getting any closer as well. It's like "dun waste my time, thank you."

I'm indeed hard to please.. Well, i've a sudden interest in buddishism.. Lotsa of logic of human life.. I'm still thinking if i shld go on and find out more abt it.. Knowing more will improve my point of view of life though.. It's like "zhuo ren de dao li".. sigh..

Well, now then i realised that i'm not attracted to pretty gals nor cute gals nor ugly gals. I'm only attracted to good-natured gals.. But yet, i dun not wish to get close to good gals coz i'm bad.. >_< Being paranoid eh? haha.. really cannot make it.. haha..

All my close gal-friends are not pretty.. All my pretty gal-friends are not close to me.. Well, looks do not last while the heart does.. Though there are times where there is a change of heart but still good-natured will different from the rest. At least, i'm sure abt this after 23yrs of worthless living this cruel world.. haha..

Sigh.. Is love a sin? It can be so beautiful yet bitter.. "Always let the nature takes its own course.." However, i have had different thinking.. Not everything have to let it be natural.. I let my hair go against the natural-flow though.. =P Some things have to be forced.. Including affairs of the heart.. If i really have to force myself to forget someone, i will really try my best, even if it means my life.. Tat's why i wish i dun put in so much effort on the wrong one.. Unless it's really 'THE ONE'.. I've been thru all kinds of hardships and sufferings which almost all ppl do not experienced before.. I'm tired and exhausted.. Giving up my life and selfishly give up everything is my Final Resort.. i hope i dun have to resort to that too.. When i'm with a partner till we are old, i still wish that she go before me..

Celena had a sudden detest in all men.. =.= Was unable to get any info out of her.. Kinda worried abt her.. I'm also worried abt Shan.. Haiz... Nothing is perfect in this world.. All these are part and parcel of life.. Different personalities will deal with things differently.. Finally feeling a little sleepy liao.. Bye all..

Remember the last pc show at Suntec? I was there helping out at a stall near the toilet there? Tat time every nite also look thru HWZ forums.. There was a talk on this gal who was a model as well as 'show-gal' for a company. Can't rmb whether nikon or canon.. Anyway, her name is Cassandra. Yep, unique name. Flash across my mind was a primary sch friend's nick. But doesn't matter lah. Saw her pics in HWZ. Quite ok lor.. But anyway not my prob. =P And i dunno who was that also..

Lately, there reveal the blogspot of Cassandra. o.O I saw the template: Catch a falling star. At 1st i thot my colleague was reading Cel's blog. =.= Same template mah.. hehe.. Saw more of her pics in there. The more i see, the more she looks familiar.. Check the DOB, same yr as us(the ksps, my pri sch). Check the profile - Student/freelance model. Check the interest - she like Warcraft. The next moment i thot of is Jinlun.. =.= I open another browser and go into friendster, check out JL's friends and found her. I'm right abt it. She is the one from our pri sch.. Now i know why JL like WC3 that much.. hehe. Yea, Cassandra WAS JL's all-time-fave but i THINK it was in the past. Maybe.. heheeheheheheeheheh~ =P But anyway, not my prob. ^^

Well well, she had gotten very very popular in HWZ. Lotsa guys were eyeing her.. haha.. She was the talk among the guys even till now.. Got a fan-club from them somemore.. lolx. But anyway, it's not my prob.. heh ^^

Someone suddenly asked me abt this online game called Ragnarok Online. A malaysia-server based online RPG game. I've been playing mRo ever since i left army and quit Elysium.. It was also this game which makes my colleague so addicted to it.. Juz like how i used to be when i played Elysium.. When in camp, my heart would have the urge to rush home to play. When i'm on the fone, i got no mood to talk as i'm playing it as well.. The game that nearly took up most of the place in my heart.. It's not the fun abt the gameplay but the community.. Haha.. Such great friends in there. Having lotsa fun chatting with them whenever i'm online. ^_^ As for mRo, not much toking in there and merely have few friends.. Main is my colleague and me in guild chatting.. I'm not too addicted to this luckily.. At least when asked to choose between watching a show with a friend or play game, i will choose to watch show.. ^_^

I've got my PDL liao.. I haven't make appointment with Uncle Tommy(Deyuan's mum's friend as well as Deyuan's class 3 instructor).. Heh.. I intend to book my practical every sunday.. Dunno when can i get my license.. One-time-pass for all my theory tests, hope i can do the same for the last one juz like how i fared during army when taking class 3.. hehe.. Alright, gotta go koon liao.. Exhausted.. =( Miina~ Oyasuminasai~! ^o^

Sad.. Juz got to know that one of Celena's friend's bf past away in an accident.. =( Sad case.. She muz has been heart-broken.. Losing someone so dearly.. This yr is a bad yr... So many sad things happened... My 2nd uncle's wife's father passed away, my 2nd auntie's hubby passed away, Irene's bf's father passed away, Celena's friend's bf passed away, my dog had not been eating much lately, my big uncle had been admitted to SGH EVERY MONTH since early this yr.. Oh man.. Wat's wrong with this yr..? I know life and death are predestined.. I know it's all fate.. I still can't let it off.. Life is so full of surprises and mysteries and unpredictations..

I always tell myself this. Treat everyday as if it's the last day of my life.. So that i can really feel and treasure as much as i can.. Maybe that is why i'm always treating everyone so good.. No grudges, no tempers, etc.. =/ Whenever i see ppl feeling blue, my mood will definitely go blue too.. ppl feel sad, i will feel sad.. I'm so emotional.. Sometimes i really wish i'm cold-blooded.. =/ At least that way i wun be so uncomfy.. >_< But anyway, i'm born like that.. Need to ask my mum and ask her why she give birth to me like that.. =.=

Juz came back from NB(Newsroom Bar @ MS).. Not too shag, not too drunk.. Was juz right.. Those gals ah.. =.= Irene, Carisa and Jenny. The 3 sisters of my chiong group.. At NB, there are michael's friends. Michael is Irene's bf.. They indeed took good care of them.. Kept asking them to drink and drink and drink.. One of them even ask Irene up to the bartop and dance with him.. Haha.. Fierce sia.. Then also got quite a few unknown guys trying to chat up with them.. I heard a lot of them saying that the 3 of them doesn't look like sisters.. i agree.. lolx.. Jenny is the oldest, then come Carisa then Irene.. Of them all, Irene is the hottest. But still, a lot of attractions attention from those guys out there.. Haha.. However, too bad, Irene though the youngest but also the most fierce and also the most experienced in handling such guys and shoo them away.. Haha.. I indeed dare not to drink much.. If i really drunk ah, there might not be anyone else to take care of them, slightly at least. Not much of a great help, but still helped a bit lah.. =P Actually, i intend to go MW(Madam Wong) with Michael(One of my dealer in SLS) but i can't seems to get thru his hp.. Been calling since 8pm and gave up at abt 1am.. =.=" Haiz.. Tat's why i intend to join those gals.. Overall the music over there wasn't too bad.. Retro + some classics + some rocks.. Targetted age-group is those 20+ close to 30s.. I'm not too old but neither am i too young.. =P

Oh ya, met Sean(My DYS4 during my army days, my officer in-charge of Logistic). He had grown fatter.. As in more chubby lah.. heh.. His previous company closed down liao, now working at another company.. Same as me, my previous company also closed down and i'm working in another company.. lolx.. Life's so full of coincidence.. Or rather sad.. But anyway, life still goes on.. =)

I've been asked by someone why am i being so good to her as well as another gal.. I shld have been good to only one. Devoted to only one.. Then i came to realised.. I dun have any gf, tat's why my feelings can go around the gals and treating each and everyone of them good.. IE, i can tolerate Erica's unreasonable slaps and demands.. IE, i can put in effort to make virtual chocolates for shan as well as showering her with care and concern without asking anything in return.. IE, i can treat TPL good as if i'm very close to her. IE, i can go download animes for XH as if i'm really that free and be her anime-supplier.. IE, i can treat Celena as good as i can as a friend or maybe somehow slightly more than a friend. I can basically treat ANYONE good as long as no one step on my head and make me blow my top.. I can share all my care and concern among all my friends, equally regardless of gender.. Tat's becoz i dun have a special someone for me to put in all my efforts and give her everything.. So, i'm free to give wat i can without really asking for a return.. Maybe i'm not really that good. I can't say that for myself. I leave those to my friends.. I can't control their thinking nor can i mislead them.. But anyway, i'm tired liao.. Tml still gotta work.. Oyasuminasai..