Drive..

Someone said i wun have the drive if i were to go somewhere familiar to work.. Well, the truth is i dun even have any drive for anything regardless where and when.. Can see and feel a few opportunities but i juz dun have the drive.. Lifeless.. Not in terms of finding gals or something.. I've got no interest in those.. Spare me..

Maybe monday meeting ex gf karen coz it's her bday. Tue meeting old close friend Celena. 18th meeting Estee as promised her to accompany her whole day since it's her bday. After 20th meeting huiying, been trying to get her to go out. Dawn as usual, on and off meeting her. Planning for a trip down to Celine's pub one fine night for a drink. Movie with Jocelin still pending as she claimed she's too busy with sch..

Like so many events and Desmond gonna say me happening, though i'm not as happening as him with SO MANY pretty XMMs around him meeting him. =x But then, i still feel lifeless, so empty and mindless...

Juz like today went bukit timah to take stock then when going back to wdl i took a long route via cashew road... The road i used to always take whenever i sent her home on my bike last time.. In fact, wanted to turn in into her block area somemore... This is so ouch... Till now her phone still can't get thru so i think she lost her phone or something then change number to a free in-coming post-paid instead of the one she using prepaid.. Bah.. I'm so full of her..

Dawn said me and kel same like her.. Feeling a bit of 'wen xing' will withdraw almost entirely.. Wrong leh.. In fact only me and kel is like that lor.. The fear of love-trap.. Coz we dunno how to hit-and-run? =.= Never crossed my mind..

Need to find back my soul.... Where are all my missing pieces???

Her..

When being asked, "Do u still have her photos?"

Well, yes... Even after shit happens i still kept those.. After all, those are juz memories.. =) That doesn't mean anything at all..

Drift and drift..

Cold and warm then warm and cold..

This doesn't mean anything.. I'm still me afterall and i'm not leaving no matter what happen.. Juz i will definitely draw line and be back myself.. When i intend to go shopping, i will still intend to go alone.. When i intend to go ktv, i still intend to go alone though i nv tried.. Mr bay got more experience in this.. Haha.. Well, i juz wish to be alone.. Afterall, i'm not "owned" by anyone and no one controls me. So if i dun feel like going out means no..

I'm not giving out my game for anyone. No way, man.. My virtual world is more impt than anything else except for work, i still need to eat.. lolx.. I'm not inviting jealousy or being biased.. =.= At least i feel certain ppl deserved a little better from me. It's not as if i din give in to whatever u feel like it.. U think i'm the best but that doesn't mean i'm the best coz i'm the one to decide what am i.

So if i regards her as my best friend then she will be my best friend. Not juz anyhow nia.. Xuehui used to keep pestering me to regard her as one juz becoz she felt something diff between me and my bff. Well, puppy eyes dun work when the heart matters.. Juz friends will do, i do not wish to demote somemore..

Some things when it's gone, it fade away gradually.. What a man chases in life, runs away. Even if it's a woman.. Haha..

The feeling of wanting to get drunk is back... But somehow, something is holding me back.. But i yearn for the feeling of crowded places with loud music when drunk.. The last was Sing Thai Disco... That was great but dangerous.. So dangerous but so great the feeling of drunk.. I'm sorry but not feeling of gals. Ya she's working that nite at there but nothing liao.. Never started, no need for ending.. Anyway, nothing actually happened.. =.=" This ironical phrase came to me suddenly and it's from an unexpected someone, "Sex, it either enhance the relationship or it worsen it." It's juz like "more than a handful is wasteful" then become "Nothing is perfect, Perfect is nothing." Wtf am i spouting? o.O I'm tired i guess..