Still lost..

Some things i juz simply dun understand no matter how.. I juz dun get it how i look at it.. Izzit really already dead..? I dun get it.. Coz it still hurts! Looking at her contact number aimlessly and mindlessly.. Call or not? Msg or not? See or not? Damn.. It's juz so messy.. I envy how everyone had a life buoy, something to hang on to, at least something till he/she reaches the shore... I know, there are some for me but i juz wan to be left alone.. Juz me myself and i.. I dun need anything nor anybody despite i really need it.. Can still drink sing play laugh smile like as if nothing happens.. Can even accompany ppl who were falling down one after another.. Juz trying to make sure everyone around me stands up but me.. Exhausting myself to the extreme as if me myself is not impt at all.. Well, maybe i'm juz fan jian.. Afterall, it's me myself and i who will walk the very path till the end of time.. Friends come and go like traffic, some stay for a while and some juz pass by.. Doesn't even care who is that michelle who born in 1985 still studying, though slight interest is there.. Info are all from gred. None of my business, as usual.. I believe the so-called 'walls' are so tough so high up and never to be crumble for anyone.. Thus, i'm 'complicated'. No point knowing too much of me, coz really no point.. Can't help much anyway.. Even when hit-on, i'll still smile my way thru.. How fake.. Damn weixing.. Damn rick.. Damn nemo.. Afterall, it's still me myself and i.. Shag.. Tired.. Exhausted.. Still got 1yr 7mths more to go.....