This "strong" little gal is still like a little gal.. She can hide so well and present herself always at her best no matter wat.. Though temper can be real short at times.. =.=" Well, no matter how strong she is.. A sudden sms from her "i broke off with him already.." and was like in the middle of the night.. Immediate action would be calling her.. Listen to her crying and complaining, with a little useless speeches from me..

Why i'm always like a pillar support for so many.. Haha.. Yet none is a suitable pillar support to me when i'm needy.. 'suitable' as in, i would really call/ask for it rather than avoiding one after another.. Maybe blog is my only pillar support.. Haha..

Accompany her till late almost like as if i belonged to her and allowed her to be like a morning glory and cling on to me as a support.. Then when attraction on the other side occurs, i would force down everything heartlessly, or almost heartlessly.. Well, i'm not needed anymore though still acting like a morning glory still needing and angry me for abandoning.. I dun really walk the path together for forever..

My nature is to back off when felt a little not really needed liao.. I said before, i'm like a stupid acting bf to whoever close to me. I can do stupid things that even friends can kpkb me and ask me why am i so good to another when she's not even my gf. The extra miles are personal and i'm not answerable to any of what i did or what i gonna do. That's my freedom so dun restrict it.. Birds do not like to be caged.

Wat if i were to say that i'm gonna book the air tix to bkk on the 8th Feb and coming back on the 11th Feb, going there juz to meet a FRIEND and i'm going ALONE, yes a gal friend juz a friend only, as her bday is on the 31st Jan while mine on the 27th Jan so i wanted to celebrate a belated with her. Well, already got one kpkb and pester me bring her go liao as she dun wan me to be owned nor wan me to go alone..

PS: This thai gal is not those two in the pic i taken in my FB. =.="

Almost everyday i'm on blackberry messenger with her.. Well, i dunno.. Juz like Rebecca's post of that article and my comment on her shoutbox.. Gals are to be protected not otherwise.. Naturally, instincts told me what to do..

HOWEVER, there are some disgusting pests. Looked so ugly and i'm fine with it but then still like want every piece of me. FUCK YOU. Juz like a gal seeing a guy and can read his mind "I juz wanna bed you". That's juz an example. Hello. =.="

"I feel like going genting for holiday..."
"Why not come bkk?"
"Why bkk when i got bday treat free hotel room for a day at genting? I go bkk stay ur place? haha.."
"Go hotel lah!"
"I also know... But i scared sleeping alone in a hotel.."
"I accompany u slp. ^^"

It's not the "accompanying" that makes me wanna go there.. =.=" It's her thoughts that attracted me to wanting to go.. Nabeiz i kept attracting and getting attracted to gals older than me.. =.=" I mean those slightly older lah not very much older de.. My max till 31 now and min till 25.. I'm not interested in "kids" though some are not lah.. Reality bites. =) Grow up and i can consider.. What do i want, what's my aim, what am i looking forward to, what i hate, what i enjoy the most.

Some can be like dumbfolded by the crazy things that i would do and things that i would not do.. I'm not easy to be read afterall.. It's a self-defence system.. Be true to me and u might not get the same answer.. Be fake to me and u will get an almost immediate answer. I might not be clever but i'm not stupid. I'm a bad guy not worth anything.. Unless i decided u are my everything..

Keith is a smart guy. =) But dun try to understand me too much or guessed me too much.. It's tough trying to act stupid and releasing confusion gas. =.="

I made myself confused what's real and what's fake.. Living in such new divide of life is torturous but reality is cruel. Matrix system had to be activated.. Complications.. But i dun care.. Coz afterall 'forever' lies in me, myself and i..

Xuehui used to insist that i'm her best friend. Well, impossible.. Dun decide things for me.. My 'best friend group' is the only group that we all been thru fun, sorrow, happiness, laughter, tears, loves, hates, and many many things that bond us together.. Multiple ways and not juz one-sided, most impt is naturally..

The rest is mainly i'm the one who is forking out and withdrew when i'm the one needing.. Even being showered with care, i would refrained and withdrawal occurs... I juz dun feel comfy with anyone else other than that group... Unless it's someone special and i decided on her then her burden would be so huge... Haha.. I would shamelessly juz fall and let go without withdrawing.. It's a two-way-traffic anyway.. If no trust in ur partner then no point le.. Juz like dancing, would u really go on and jump onto the person when he/she is supposed to catch u and break ur fall..?

Nevertheless, new home might be on the way already.. I can visualize it.. Looking forward to it.. Maybe no need to count the days anymore.. =) A broken home can be a great home too..