Sometimes it doesn't pay to be good. Goodwill can be seen and sensed as evil. Define evil. Wicked heart, naughty thoughts, psycho. Well then, I can be quite petty at times over trival matters. One time or twice, still can be understooded.

Well, I guess it's the power of that word that brings up the defences.. Can't help it.. Since that's how u look at me all along, so be it and i'll play along. Ppl always say "Fake it till u make it." Ya, so that's it. Fake it even though u do not have the confidence and least that u realised it, u are so used to it until u always do have the fake confidence which comes along so naturally..

One side note, I dun lose anything without you. There’s no different in my life whether u exist or not. Since u keep to ur own thinking, go ahead. If I give u up as a friend, dun regret coz there’s no such thing as turning back when I turn my back on you.

Aquarius love appreciation. Even though it’s juz a little bit, u can get them to treat u even better even more. Well, try show no appreciation or disillusion, u will get the answer sharp.

Ironically, I found myself with lesser and lesser confidence in presenting myself with gals whom i'm much closer to.. Coz those were the ones dear to me who had seen the actual me.. Juz like how sweet-nothings dun work on those gals.. Well, actually I’m referring to eye contacts.. How often do u shy away from eye contacts..? =.= It wasn't easy but easier for me on gals that are not close to me..

What's my point? Dun get too personal.. It'll makes all concealments fruitless and all efforts redundant.. True form will be revealed.. I hate my true form since birth. I hate the world for making me such weakling personality. I'm still trying my best..

A vase is nice to see, nice to have, nice to admire. But, a vase is always a vase. Well, many gals went for surgeries/cosmetics etc. To be more perfect and to have more confidence. Whatever. Ya those gals are indeed nice to see and admire.. But when it comes to ownage, it will turns almost all men off. Ya men are cheap, same goes for gals.

I dun understand. I simply dun understand.. Even if really can afford a Honda Integra Type-R, is there really a need for it? Is there really an essential need? So what even though the price of an Integra monthly payment plus monthly petrol & summons & coupons total add up is not even half of the drawn salary? Look at the Integra, it is indeed cheap lor, estimated $85k only. Every mth only need to pay abt $1300 including everything. It's not worth it lor.. With $1300 every mth, can go clubbing every weekend like mad as if no need money de.. With $1300 every mth, go shop till u drop with abt $350 per weekend to spend on anything. With $1300 every mth, accumulate a few mths and can go on holiday, even to japan or to lovely taiwan to shop with madness and to view sceneries/landscapes..

Whatever.

Taipei, i'm looking towards in seeing u soon. The draw is near. =)

Seeing u more, communicating with u more, I felt a different aura in you. Inner beauty..? Perhaps.. The things and criteria u are lacking, those pull me close.. Curiosity kills the cat. Will I be killed? Or would u be saved? It might spread out, it might not.. Those wings are afraid to do its job.. Protecting its master or simply no need for them? I've got no idea.. Whirling inside with deep thoughts and serious considerations, the puzzle had to be fixed before a verdict is being passed down.. Time will tell our fates. Each and individual fate. Destiny is not fate but a choice to be made.

Do not refrain anymore coz the more u refrain, the more I will fade away.. But if u think that's really the best for u, I will let go.. =) I will not ask at all, if u still can't tell, so be it.. Too bad I guess..

Weee. Shld be going Batam again. Tentatively this sat morning going till night.. =D Shopping spree without having a disturbed mind like the previous trip in late jan. Well, fark the last one. It's pure bullshits. Anyway, ya. I'm looking forward to it.. Hehe.. =)

Plannings for thailand will be delayed. I guess most prob gotta wait for Jinlun to come back to sg next yr. And we will go Taiwan 1st!! Though in late Feb or early Mar will be going Taipei for 5D/4N. Actually I’m aiming for 8D/7N tour of Taiwan to all areas instead of Taipei free-and-easy.. Not only Taipei is nice.. Gao Xiong, Hua Lian, Tai Zhong, etc. Many many other provinces.. =( But it's so expensive lor coz I need to pay for my sis and maybe my mum too if she’s going. Guess I had to get prepared at least $5k..

Oh ya agreed with Yuxiang that we'll be visiting Jinlun when he's outstation.. Hmmm.. Guess I will choose either Thailand or HongKong for the earlier trip coz it's much cheaper and visiting JL is gonna be damn exp already considering the almost $2k air ticket.. Haha. Shall plan further, currently juz have to focus on getting more and more money into my Citibank 1st. =/

Juz now went Sheng Song buy cigarettes and guess who I saw..? I saw Janice!! Yes Janice!! But she dun recognise me anymore though since I dun talk much to pretty ladies last time.. Time flies.. She's merely 19 and now she's married and had a baby boy juz last mth.. Oh ya hor how come din see her baby.. =.= Her figure is still as great as before!! One word - Goddess. Lolx.. =P Frankly, for a lady at that age, it's indeed difficult to have such a devilish body or shall I say in singapore.. Big boobs but fat, slim but flat. Whatever.. Lolx.. She's 36C I guess, with nice waist-line(i always like smoothing love-rings.. Lolx..) without any excessive fats and spare tires.. Brown contact lens with medium length dirty golden hair. Perfect. Seductive. Splendid. =) I haven't found a 2nd her that I know till now. Lolx..

As the song goes... I still miss you badly.. It's been so many yrs already.. The heartache is still there.. Many passersby yet no one can erase u totally from my mind.. I dun yearn for anything already.. All I asked for is to see you face to face for once.. Juz once will do.. Let me die seeing u for once.. =( If u come back home, hope u will let me know.. We can meet up for a coffee.. Haven't u forgive me yet after our broke up so many yrs ago..? Thought we are still friends that's why we are still contactable? Even though u are still out-stationed but still contactable ah.. =( Maybe I really shattered it real bad that time.. Guess you are my only regret even when I’m gone.. My last wish will definitely be wanting to see u for the last time..

I will never turn my head to eat the grass behind me.

That still applies, strongly. Even though I still love those in my memories, but I will accept none.

Two more weeks!! Yeah!! Then i'm going to Chapter 2! Hehe.. Yeah they are expensive but if they serve me well, I might consider getting a personal hair-stylist and appointments every 3wks to trim and maintain/alter. Well, going every 3wks is the right way coz every 3wks hair will grow then can trim to the style. =)

I'm going back to Bukit Timah again.. Sad case, cannot use hp when at work liao.. =( That's the only bad thing abt Bukit Timah.. But still, I dun mind. =)

施文斌 - 忘不了

翻开一本旧日记
记载着一段旧恋情
每段都那么的甜蜜
往事历历在这里
曾看过多少的风雨
曾说过要到哪里去
曾做过觉得傻的事
爱过在这城市里

昨晚下了一场雨
让我忽然梦里见到你
躲在某个地方哭泣
好想紧紧抱着你
有一次从朋友口中听到你消息
我的心都在发抖
你是否孤身一人
(我不停追问)

分手两年后我还是想着你
多久没有见过你
现在你住在哪里
只怕有一天我们都会老去
只想留一点回忆
能够让我们依靠

我在一个咖啡店
透过玻璃窗往外望
你的人影无所不在
无心无魂的想你


为什么人总要等到失去才珍惜
我来不及想告诉你
要永远不分离