Maybe i am.. Juz dun wan anyone to really know me that well bah.. Like adam saying me cunning, well perhaps i am.. Only when with dawn, i'm purely the weixing she knew.. And only when she's with me alone, she's purely the dawn i knew.. That's why i'm her left-hand. Whenever got the chance, i will never allow her to walk alone.. As long she's single, there's no way i can get attached.. Anyway, that's not the point coz i need nobody for now.
Juz how newspapers of rumors here and there, toking abt dawn cyndi jessie jennifer jennifer lady-in-white or whoever. I may be single but absolutely not available to anyone. I juz need nobody. I'm still me myself and i. Love is the least thing i ever needed now.
Knn i'm like a companion to every heart-brokes. Lolx.. Need to drink, i go. Need to club, i go. Need someone alone, i go. Need shopping, i go. Need movie, i go. Need makan, i go. But all that i did is like never enuff to please every single soul and when things get so packed together till it seems like the whole world needs me, i am a lan jiao lang. Wtf. I got my farking own life and i do what i wanted to do and accompany whoever who truely need me the most lor. Wat a complicated world that force me no choice but to fall behind the mask. Dun think u know me when u dun even know the real me. Corrupted. Piss.
Maybe i had a little drink too much. Maybe i'm juz tired. Been thinking so much whenever i'm with her lately.. She really grew up and i'm still watching over her.. There's totally nothing between us before and she's not the kind that will really like takes me as a bridge. And most impt, i dun yearn for anything so dun bloody hell put me into those corrupted mindset. Like i said, i might be fan jian but i'm jolly well not shui bian.
Anyone would think that i would anyhow spend on gals juz becoz they act pity or watever fark. I'm no longer the old weixing. Then that time Taiwan trip i paid full for 2 tix means wat? Me and jason gay ah? Got beard is my grandpa ah? I'm now the freaking leraning-to-be-NCB asshole now.
NCB means niao chee bye. I cannot afford a car meh? Why must take van? Knn the different liability can allow me to save more. I got a farking house upcoming for me to hold. I got no farking parents to turn and rely on. I never live in comfort zone, i never had the chance to relax and tok freaking love life that always gonna destroy my freaking swee swee plannings.
Love is the sweetest little thing to keep a person moving on, for a moment, a reason in life to keep breathing. Love is also the freaking little thing that can destroy a person entirely. His/her life, career, reputation, everything single fark thing. Even friendships. Fuck, that sux. There's no such thing as beautiful endings. I've seen too much..
There might be eternity but i chose not to believe and guess will never will. Effort, time, money, feelings. In the end? Lost everything LOLX. Eating a chocolate is easy, making is not. Up and down, up and down. Not tired meh? Though i'm being influenced by the 21st Century dawn, i'm still careful or rather cunning. I can still accept anyone. Contradicting yet true. Reality is cruelty.
Some things are not meant to be messed with. I mean messy mess. Watever.
It juz hurt me to see friends one after another falling down standing up again and again. Tears dried then rolled again then dried again. But this is the reality.
Relationships never last, true friendships do. Thus i treasured every single friend. At least i had trust in some friendships but i had nearly no trust in love. Lmao.
