Goddamnit!!! I can't get to slp!! >_< Actually it's my own fault.. Wakey at late noon yest.. hehe.. Really slp like a pig sia.. =P Bleahz. Long time no slp until so shiok liao lor.. Another reason for not able to get to slp is becoz of shan.. She msg me at abt 2.40am.. saying "One day if i die please smile.." Erm, if she were to die, how the hell am i going to smile?!?! If it were t0 be my dad, i can. But now is totally different story lor. Oh my god, tell me wat to do.. I'm really getting outta ideas and reasons to talk her round.. Even made known to her my life since young; no matter how freaking hard my goddamn farking life is i still persist on, hanging on to my life till my last breath, fighting all the hardships and no matter what i never give up though dunno how many millions time i oredi wanted to give up, enduring thru all the shame and pain and never give up no matter how much blood came flowing outta me.. She knew most of this more than anyone else. Coz we are in almost the same boat..

Shan, listen to me. Life isn't waste as long as u live it to the fullest. U kept saying being able to go Taiwan is so good, Have you even tried saving up for the trip? Dun tell me it is impossible coz it can be possible for me then why can't you? Was your situation worst than mine? Think abt it. How many things in life u wanted to do but yet to do? Come on, love isn't everything. I told you liao, if love is everything, in this world there would not have any monks and nuns liao. Do you really need a bf to take care of u? I've seen gals who had lived till my age and they did not have had any bf before, does that mean they are much more pathetic than you?

I'm not telling u having a bf is no good but u gotta know when to be dependent and when to be independent.. Guys only mah, u scared dun have meh? The streets are full of them. I really dunno wat to say liao.. Well, if u really think that your path of life is so tough and u needed a person to walk ur life with you, i can accompany you. Juz like how i wanted to warm u against the coldness in you that day.. I juz dun wanna you to escape from reality.. If you really dare not face it alone, lemme face it with ya..

That day i learnt that ruyou had broke off with her bf. She saw her bf's ex's friendster having their together pic in it. Indeed, it aroused something.. Why did she still put the photo up there even though her bf and her ex had broke off long ago? What is the reason for that? Well, certain things had to be clarified clearly before jumping into any conclusion.. I juz can't anyhow jump into any conclusion juz becoz i saw my gf(if i had any) going out with another guy, taking neoprint together, dancing on the bartop together, going out for movie together, or watsoever. If i dun clarified my uneasy, i will never get the truth. Is she doing juz to spite me coz of something i did wrong? Is she doing it without any reason but juz friends? The feeling being misunderstood is painful. This applies to both parties.. Either one party had to make the 1st move, if not eternally the problem will not be solved even though final is a break-off or remain in silent.. Sometimes such things are inevitable.. What comes around goes around. What will leave will leave; what will stay will stay.. Haiz..

Being in love can be so fan; being single can be so fan as well.. Well, that's life and i've faced it instead of running away. What abt you ppl?