Haiz.. I'm sorry gal.. Too much stress lately made me not myself.. I hate to be like this.. I hope next wk onwards my life can get better... Life getting better is not becoz of my decision as mentioned earlier and also not becoz of your decision. I'm so stupid not to have noticed how tong ku and xing ku you are now, though you never say.. I'm sorry, my gal..
Today i felt that i'm as if i'm in Carisa's shoe last time.. Two choices of a decision. One to follow the heart, another to suit others.. Giving in to others at the expense of self, a feeling hard to bear for not following own heart.. Giving it at the cost of hurting others, a sadness arise in others.. Due to the nature of the same character, both are a tough choice to make.. Really almost made me choose the third choice, to escape from reality.. Running away will not solve the problem though.. Today is indeed a long long day for me.. Been thinking and thinking and thinking.. No one i wanted to turn to except for The One, whom i always turn to for comfort.. It's not that there's totally no one to turn to but i juz dunno why.. I juz needed The One the most.. Juz a sms, a call, or a glance.. And i'll be contented.. However, i do not wish to add on her burden into getting her to worry abt my prob as she oredi had enuff.. I dun wanna add on anymore of her stress.. I dun wanna bother her when she herself is oredi at the peak of falling.. Though nothing heard of her.. I kinda miss her..
Anyway, if she were to read my blog, i guess i've added even more pressure on her.. It's all my fault.. I shouldn't have.. Only if we really have telepathy.. =( I've called off that decision.. I shall concentrate on my life for now. Not gonna think abt anything else but to settle my stuffs one by one.. 1stly, i need to settle my work. I've been dragging enuff.. It's time that i've come to a final choice.. Regardless of how others look at me, regardless of how heartless ppl thought how i'm, i'm gonna make that crucial decision tomorrow... It might shattered my boss's dream but somethings cannot be forced.. Mian qiang shi mei you xing fu de.. >_<>_< And somemore i dun go online chat de.. Even in online gaming.. Anyway, that doesn't matter coz it doesn't really matter to me liao. ^_^ Dun have then dun have lor.. Anyway, i've a group of GREAT FRIENDS. =D I love you ppl!! I'm glad i'm alive!! =P
Okie now, tml gonna carry out my 1st settlement. Wish me luck. Oyasuminasai~~ ^o^
