It's been quite some time since i last post. Actually quite a lot of things to post juz that lazy to login and post them.. bleahz =P I'm afterall juz like a pig slacking off at home day after day.. Wasting my life away day after day.. I hate life without life.. Haiz.. Not working is indeed boring. Haiz. Actually lotsa ppl wish they had the free time all by themselves.. I had it now but i dun seems to enjoy it at all..

I gave up a higher pay job for a lower one and i dun seems to get the attention i want. I dun seems to be an essential person to that new company.. Quite sad.. I hate being not appreciated.. Being it to others or to friends. Sian. I'm gonna give that company a few more days grace. By then if still no news i'm off to another company. I wun go and chase them whether when can i start work or heck like i care. I can jolly well find another company who needs me more or rather appreciate me more.

I'm a weird person. Once i'm pissed off with a person, that person wun even know. Unless he/she is sensative enuff to feel it. Of coz, i will still go out with him/her but my attitude would be somehow diff from wat he/she used to know me. Not much in my 'pissed-list' though, only a handful of them. Anyway, without me their life is still as per normal so i dun care much. Afterall i'm a bad guy not worthy to be their friend. All i wish for such ppl is very simple, juz leave me alone. My temper had toned down a lot but, there's still an impending eruption anytime. I exploded once in camp and i dun not wish for another coz it was so unsightful for him/her. But anyway, things can get better by chance. There was actually one person who was about to get into my list liao but in the end also dunno how come she did not got in. haha..

This world is indeed so small. I came to realised that Erica's bf is my friend. My secondary sch mate, gordon. A friend for abt 8yrs i guess. He also very power de lah. He 1st time met Erica on the 14th of this mth and they got together on the 14th. Lolx. Anyway good for them. At least this way Erica will not be going clubbing that often anymore.. Hehe.. This guy ah.. He almost everything also tell me de. lolx.. A very naive guy indeed. Though as a friend, he is not a very friend but as a bf, he's a very nice bf. =) He ah.. Some things shld not mentioned he also will tell me de.. Haiz.. But anyway, doesn't really matters.. =P knn Erica even tell him i seized the chance and hug her that day when she is drunk... =.= Wah lao eh.. >_< ya lah ya lah, i'm such a person so everyone pls stay away from me from now onwards. =)

That day Xuehui wants to go East Coast Park but she dunno how to cycle and no one wants to cycle a double bike with her. Then dunno why she cried also. =.=" Was izzit becoz my words are too harsh on her? Or was izzit becoz she was left alone and felt sad? I wun know coz i was never told. Never know, of coz i wun care much. Anyway, reluctantly i still went on to East Coast Park to see how she's doing. Shan was staying nearby there, thus, i meet up with her then go ECP find Xuehui and her friends. Shan was so hyper that day.. lolx. We are machiam super close friends like that.. But anyway, we are not. I'm not that fortunate. =) When we reached there, the 1st thing that happened was Xuehui asked shan if she is Celena. =.=" Coz i did mentioned i wanted to meet Celena 1st but she dun have the time so i din meet her. Shan was shocked by the remark though.. She asked me how come XH so fierce de..? Was quite unhappy with that though i said nothing.. That wasn't a way to shoot a question juz like that lor.. That scareded 'my shan'.. lolx! 'my shan', these two words was mentioned by someone else de.. =.=" Haiz.. Anyway, i meet up with XH they all liao, she immediately say she want to go cycle liao. then ok lor, luckily i got shan to accompany me have dinner. ^^

How come so many ppl says that i'm such a flirt? =.=" Do i look like one? Please lor.. I believe i'm not one coz i know i'm not handsome and somemore i'm not a 'shui bian' person lor.. =.= Few ppl had asked me how many gf i had before.. Even my close friends also dunno.. lolx.. Actually, i know not much but i seriously dun know.. And most important of all is, i'm clean with all my ex.. This i can swear lor.. But swear also no use, coz no one will believe de.. Ok lah, in fact i only slept with one of my ex.. I say 'slept' not that chim 'slept' lor.. That was dunno how many yrs ago liao during my secondary.. That time we went to a chalet at East Coast and she lives at Tampiness.. We were not thinking of spending the night there de but somehow we stay there until quite late at abt 2am+.. Then she needs to go home and yet dun wan me to spend the money to take a cab home due to surcharges.. Thus i walk her home and she asked me go over to her place and stay till morning.. Her parents are very strict on her de thus i had to silently enter and leave her house.. That day went her place we din do anything but juz lay on the bed waiting for the alarm clock to ring.. I hug her on her bed and ask her to take a rest while i try to stay awake and wait for the time to come.. I can't afford to fall asleep and got her into trouble if i overslept and if her parents saw us.. Though that time was merely a few hrs but the feeling was great. Can see her happiness on her face.. haha.. Well, no one would believe i prefered hug than sex de.. =.=" Not that i dun wan nor i dare not but i dun wish to.. It's not an essential thing for relationship nor it's everything.. For me, it's nothing but for gals, it might be something or even everything.. For most guys, it's juz a form of pleasure. Well, several minutes of pleasure can lead to several months of pain..

For some ppl they come to think that am i really a gay. Well, i'm always straight. All thanks to my camp-mate that day.. Thus i've got totally no interest in guys. I can easily have feelings for gals but often not said.. Some things are best kept in silent than to reveal it.. Revealing it might invite more troubles.. haiz..

How long was it ever since i broke off with karen...? Ever since then, i have not gotten another liao.. I've long count of the days and months and years liao.. I've found one but can't be with her at the meantime for some reasons.. Due to not wanting me to wait for her, she even suggest me go on with my life with another. Coz we never know when will be the ripe time.. Haiz.. She knows i'll still give unconditionally and somehow she dun wan to put me in this state which makes her kinda guilty as if it is her fault in getting me into this.. Love is love, there's no why.. If really wanna make me get on with another, think u gotta stab me with a knife of pain... But there's one thing for sure, there's no way back.. "I never turn my head to look back.." Next time being friends might not be as close as before liao coz i know i'll fall into the web again thus i would refrain.. Indeed a tough choice to make.. Aquarius are borned leader rather than follower.. However, for this situation i decide to be a follower.. Show me that path.. Path of Light or Path of Dark, i'll face it. No matter watever might come. Ming tian shi you ming tian shuo. Taking a step at a time is the best.. In every relationship there bound to be ups and downs, there's no avoid to all the ups or the downs. Nothing is perfect. =)