The story had reached its final chapter.. If i say no pain, i'm lying.. Two instances.. One, with a little alcohol on day 1 and juz one song, i almost cannot hold back.. Sec, also with a little alcohol and several songs till that song came.. 1st one is more obvious coz before that instance, eyes itchy somemore and have to keep rubbing it till its watery.. =.=
Ppl had been trying to learn the whole story while i keep mum and stuffed everything inside where no one really knows wat's going on.. Still laughing smiling joking at work even after work at BQ.. Only when i spoke to xiaoling, i'm more emotional.. But gotta scolded for being fan jian by her. =.=" Wah lao not as if i woo her de mah.. I long time no woo gals liao lor. Diao.
"I will never leave him.." This sentence set the crack the glass.. Anyway, not impt.. On sat, my new post was being viewed by her. Before that we already had a little row.. I knew she viewed coz i can track who's viewing me de.. Nothing heard from her all the way till i finished work.. Zoom towards SLE, into SLE all the way towards CTE, after Bradell exit PIE, went thru Sim Ave then exited GL on the left, lane change all the way to the rightmost lane and turned into lor 11, rode all the way till the end and stopped outside the temple.. Saw her idling at work, sent a sms but no reply. Smoked one stick, called her.. Ask her if she's angry, she said not really coz the fault lies in her but sure got a little angry due to some untrue statements. Went on and on she yap and yap.. As usual, i dun get to talk much.. Talking abt herself, her own life, her online stuffs, her hometown, her dad, then lastly abt him..
Near the end of the conversation, she told me to take good care and asked if we still can be friends coz i'm a nice guy.. Leaving me doesn't mean i'm of no good but rather unfair to me if she not intending to leave him.. Dragging any further as well ends it now, before things really got worst where we unable to even be friends.. Speechless, i told her.. Then she said then we hang up lor.. She said she did not do me wrong so she will not say 'sorry', coz by saying 'sorry' will mean she's sorry to me..
What else can i say..? Rode silently and fastly home though only 120km/h.. Upon reaching my block, dun really feel like going up... But next day early 6am need wakey for car so no choice.. Went straight for shower.. Water running down my hair for quite a moment.. The water is so cold despite the heater is on yet whole body is so hot.. No breakdown, no sound. I'm still fine and under control.. Lay on my bed trying to slp... After a few min, took up my phone and started msging her a sms of abt 4 pages and sent to her before falling asleep..
Next day, everything seems so pointless with an empty heart and no aim in life.. Colourless, they called it.. Plain and vain with no directions.. Do wat also not right... No mood.. After work went down to BQ with jes they all.. In fact, dun really wanna go coz i know alcohol is evil.. It will bring down all my defences.. I also got msg her joking abt my HP num last 4 digit opened in 4D, "我们才刚分手第一天就开我的号码，如果我有买的话，分手了还有钱分呢。。哈哈。" No reply at all.. So, this is called friends after rs ends? It's meant to be a joke to break the ice by changing the bond into friendship bond.. Now it's wed liao, no reply at all..
I dun really hate her, juz that i hate myself.. Why can't i be playful all the while..? 感情专一的人容易受伤害。。。
Let go bah.. It's not the end but a new begining.. A new chapter of life.. Embrace the sunlight after rain, maybe there's rainbow.. Deep inside, the scar is still there..
Being freedom is good... Back into singular motion.. Home is still on the list.. Car is still on the list.. Wah i feel like spending off brandeds.. KNN i must be crazy..
