Shag-out

Really very shag sia.. Yesterday nite din slp much.. Can't get to slp, too much in my mind.. Must be becoz of him.. Sigh... This morning around 9am then reach home. ZzZzZzZz.. Slp like a pig when in the bus on the way home.. Bathe liao have to go work le.. At work is seriously bored to hell, plus sleepiness.. Then thing still kept lingering inside my head.. Sigh.. How come i still dun get to see the light but saw the darkness.. Seriously unable to shed anymore.. Even had difficulties in breathing.. Luckily all are being well controlled.. Well, seriously dun let me see him.. I dunno wat i will do though.. When i saw it, my whole body became warm already.. If were to see him, i would expect the worst.. Anyway, i'm tired of living already, i dun mind doing anything else.. Sian. Mentioning it makes my blood boils, though it's my fault in the 1st place but i just can't take it.. Still, no light being shown.. Maybe i still had to learn to be more straightforward.. Sigh.. But that's just me.. Anyway, i've thought abt it liao.. Things can be explained and talked thru.. I can be very forgiving but rarely intolerant.. The rare is mainly serious case though.. Still i can't see the light.. Still the door is not open.. Sigh.. Why dun let me see the light..? Anyway, my doubts and mystery had been solved.. So much unexplainable but i guess i've seen the full picture.. Sad though but i still wishing for the light. Anyway, seriously dun let me see him on the road. Hunger for blood if i were to see him.. Though i was in the wrong but sama sama lor.. No wonder talking to me dare not even look at me in the eyes. At least my conscious is clear lor. Argh! Temp went up again. Talking to richie is a million times better and more comfortable lor. Bah! No one understands me anyway. No one believes me anyway. Koon! Tml still gotta work. Where's the light.....?