My life seems more complete lately.. Despite the stressful work, the hectic life, the family pressures, etc.. Though i know i can still managed all by myself even though there isn't this 'little hope of ray' in my life.. However, with this little 'ray' had indeed improved my life a lot.. At least i know i do not wish to give up anything.. I wish to thank this 'ray' in front of everyone.. However, due to circumstances, i can't.. All that i can do is make her happy.. As long as she is happy, i'm happy. Be it juz a companionship or juz a comfort. Be it a little hug or a little kiss. As long as u are satisfied, i'm oredi satisfied.. I know i juz can't compared these to my past as Karen.. Both are diff.. Wat's in the past had past. It's simply unfair to compare. No one is an item to be used for comparision.. Thus, i wish i'm not being compared to anyone around you.. Even if things are not gonna make up for us, i wun blamed anyone. Simply, i can juz let it go.. Mian qiang shi mei you xing fu de.. As you know, both our character are so alike.. So much in common.. So similar in thinking.. However, i shall let heaven decide our fate. =)

That time saw shan in RO.. I haven't been active in there for a long long time liao.. 1st thing she saw me is shout out my name and came over to my side and kept kissing me ingame.. =.= I'm so full of saliva sia.. lolx. Then that stupid TPL also come and disturb.. =.= But anyway, glad to see shan ingame.. At least i know that she is still around in game.. =) Dunno why but i kept worrying for her no matter wat, no matter when, no matter how.. Always thinking whether has she found a job, always thinking whether has she eaten or not, always thinking whether got ppl bully her or not.. Afterall, she's only 16 this yr.. But for this friend, frankly speaking, i do not know much abt her.. I do not know her deep enuff.. Sometimes, there are doubts abt her, abt wat she told me.. Naturally, i used to be a bad guy. I've done a lot of bad things and there would surely be stuffs that i do not wish others to know coz that would only invite unnecessary sympathy and stuffs.. So, whenever being asked, or being force to say, i would not tell the facts.. It's not that i'm not 100% having doubts on her.. Juz tat, some things are better be kept in secret then be reveal.. I can understand de.. I'm a guo lai ren.. She ah, saw on my blog abt prata then ask me where got nice prata.. Then ask me go pei her go eat.. haha.. cute sia.. wan ask me out juz say so lor.. =P Even u dun mention "ai si ni", i would still will go eat with u de.. =)

Early this wk Erica ask me to give her a morning call on Tue morning 7am.. She need to go back to malaysia to get her IC. But i myself also cannot wake up.. =.= Yest nite called her and asked abt her.. Got to know that tat day she woke up at 9am instead but still got go back lah.. Spent abt 2hrs to travel back and also some money coz she took a cab back.. =.= (my fault i guess.. sob) Then when she reach there to collect, she got fed-up with the authorities.. They said her IC is ready for collect and muz collect within 2wks if not will be fined. Then on Tue, she was unable to get her IC.. =.= They said it's ready liao but haven't delivered to them yet so muz wait for another 2wks. She got so angry on the wasted trip, time and money. Therefore, she went for a hair-cut and highlight her hair to green colour.. green.. omg.. =/ I haven't seen her yet so i cannot come to a conclusion whether nice or not.. But maybe i'll be asking her along on sat to Devils' Bar. However, if my favourite is going then i'm not asking Erica to go liao.. At least i'm sure i will Never get slapped by my fave. hee.. But anyway, Erica this sor por also a bit craze de.. Saying me treat her very good.. =.= Got one malay guy kept pestering her then she say maybe need me go help her out by pretending to be her bf. =( My misfortune~~ Lolx.. No lah juz kidding. Juz a helping out.. No prob de. ;)

Long time dun have a long chat with Xuehui liao.. Tat nite i was toking to her on msn. We had a long chat. It was indeed a long and meanful chat.. I knew this guai guai girl when i was in army.. Tat time in army, me and david kept going out and stuffs. Den there's one nights-out, we went to Bedok with James for makan and walk walk. tat time i was not into r/s yet so i dun care much while David go there juz see whether can do a little fishing there or not.. James seeing us like tat, he suggested intro Xuehui to us but too bad, she was busy studying so she not meeting us.. Too bad? i guess it's a blessing in disguise.. =.= James seems to really wish to intro us a guai gal.. Cute and guai gal. For me, my response was like, erm.. ok lor.. Kinda bochap type.. As for David, can really see him grinning for ear to ear.. =.= Can see his vampire's teeth liao. *sweat* Thinking abt this prob, i've thot of asking James to 4get all abt it coz i do not wish to invite troubles.. However, spilled water cannot be put back.. Thus, i told James that let me have her number so that i can befriend her before David does.. I know tat David would not snatch a friend's gf. Especially tat time he treated me as his buddy.. Therefore i got to know Xuehui but this is not the end.. It's juz a begining.. Though merely a friend, David might not wan to give up.. Thus, i would have to chase xuehui.. Getting to know xuehui, i came to know that she is seriously a very guai gal.. When not studying, she would go to library to find books to read.. I always tease her that she gonna finish up all the books in the library one day.. Haha.. As a new friend, i never smoke in front of her. Then came one day, i emntion to her that i was a smoker.. She hate smokers.. Somemore, tat time i have to chase her.. But yet, i have to give up smoking juz becoz i have to chase her.. Well, tat time i almost did but due to some reasons i gave up the idea of quitting after endless pain of enduring the stupid craving for three days.. >_< style="font-style: italic;">
I'm really not pitying u.. I really duno how does all this happen.. I never expected things to turn out like this.. Unexplainable stuffs.. Maybe it's juz like wat u said.. It might be a blessing in disguise.. But one thing i'm sure of. I'm indeed following my heart and doing wat my feelings tell me to do.. Watever the future may holds, i juz wan to treasure every single moment with you. No matter how hard life gonna be, i shall have no regrets in watever i've done and watever ur future decision shall be.. Behind me, there's always you.. Behind you, there's always me.. When u shouldered too much and almost cannot take it anymore, juz remember that i'm always ready to catch you when u gonna fall..
However, i'm going to make a real tough decision of my life.. This gonna decide my future.. For your sake, i'm going to make this decision of something.. Pardon me for not saying anything abt this.. Everyone has got their secrets. For me, this is my greatest secret which NO ONE knows.. The decision gonna be made maybe tml.. When i made that decision and i will see how is the result.. If it's a good result, i promise you i will tell you abt it. A secret which i will only tell You.. But, touchwood, if it's gonna be a bad result, i really dunno wat to do.. If really a bad result, i will need a lot of time to myself to straighten out my thoughts and replan all my plans coz it will have a drastic change in my life...

Tired.. Guess i shld stop here... Bye all..