Long time no post liao.. Busy busy and busy but i dunno wat i'm busy with.. >_<

Last sunday got a call from shan. She wanted to have a drink with at East Coast. She lives nearby there anyway.. So i went on and meet her downstairs her place. Then we proceed on to Cheers and get 4 cans of beer then we went on to East Coast. We settle down on the beach and started drinking while she pour out wat's on her mind.. Hmm.. Drinking at there with some background music from the pub while hearing the wave as it comes and goes.. Slight breeze under the clear moonless sky with lotsa shining stars.. She juz broke off with her bf and her bf juz got together with another gal.. Haiz.. Like wat ppl always say, men tend to have a change of heart so easily.. How i wish i can also.. sigh.. Anyway, we even lay down on the sand.. Staring at the sky full of stars.. How peaceful.. I really love serenity.. Calmness.. peacefulness.. quietness.. maybe loneliness.. I'm used to it though.. i'm not afraid of it neither will i escape from it.. heh.. Well, i'm quite happy that at least i can be there for her when she's needing it.. Lending a hand, a listening ear, a shoulder are wat i always like to do.. No matter who needs it.. But of coz if someone i dun like tell me that she/he need it, i will say no.. Not worth my time. =) So those who got turn down will know who they are.. Haha.. But dun play cheat lah.. When i'm really busy, better dun 'fan' me.. =P

I was asked, "How to forget a person..?" A tough nut hard to crack.. I dun have a definite answer to this.. I only know one thing.. I will not put in all my effort into love but spread it among those around me.. Be it guys or gals, all shall have equal share.. Though i might be biased at times.. Giving much more to those more worthy.. I will juz have to follow my heart juz like someone who always tell me so.. =)

Not wanting to put in more effort is indeed selfish.. I do not wish for that too.. Once a glass is broken, no matter how hard u tried to put them together, there are still cracks.. Well, if in a relationship i dun put in effort, the memories left behind wun be as memorable.. That i understand but i really dunno wat to do.. Skeptical eh..? Haha.. Wat to do..

The more i find a person good, the more i not wanting to get any closer to her.. Juz like my previous experience which was ages ago.. Afterall, i'm a bad guy..
The more i find a person who is no good, the more i'm not interested in getting any closer as well. It's like "dun waste my time, thank you."

I'm indeed hard to please.. Well, i've a sudden interest in buddishism.. Lotsa of logic of human life.. I'm still thinking if i shld go on and find out more abt it.. Knowing more will improve my point of view of life though.. It's like "zhuo ren de dao li".. sigh..

Well, now then i realised that i'm not attracted to pretty gals nor cute gals nor ugly gals. I'm only attracted to good-natured gals.. But yet, i dun not wish to get close to good gals coz i'm bad.. >_< Being paranoid eh? haha.. really cannot make it.. haha..

All my close gal-friends are not pretty.. All my pretty gal-friends are not close to me.. Well, looks do not last while the heart does.. Though there are times where there is a change of heart but still good-natured will different from the rest. At least, i'm sure abt this after 23yrs of worthless living this cruel world.. haha..

Sigh.. Is love a sin? It can be so beautiful yet bitter.. "Always let the nature takes its own course.." However, i have had different thinking.. Not everything have to let it be natural.. I let my hair go against the natural-flow though.. =P Some things have to be forced.. Including affairs of the heart.. If i really have to force myself to forget someone, i will really try my best, even if it means my life.. Tat's why i wish i dun put in so much effort on the wrong one.. Unless it's really 'THE ONE'.. I've been thru all kinds of hardships and sufferings which almost all ppl do not experienced before.. I'm tired and exhausted.. Giving up my life and selfishly give up everything is my Final Resort.. i hope i dun have to resort to that too.. When i'm with a partner till we are old, i still wish that she go before me..

Celena had a sudden detest in all men.. =.= Was unable to get any info out of her.. Kinda worried abt her.. I'm also worried abt Shan.. Haiz... Nothing is perfect in this world.. All these are part and parcel of life.. Different personalities will deal with things differently.. Finally feeling a little sleepy liao.. Bye all..