There are so many things up in my brain.. >_<>

Will u stay by the side of someone u no longer love? I know someone who would.. I used to be like that.. I was with that person for a few mths but after that i've found that i do not like her like wat i used to be.. However, i still hang on coz i dun wanna hurt her.. She broke off with me rather than me breaking up with her.. Sparing a thought for others before self.. Izzit good or izzit bad..? For love, there's no right and wrong.. Juz like my case.. I was right becoz i dun wanna hurt her, i spare a thought for her.. I was wrong becoz i was kinda deceiving her, making her feel that she was still being loved by me.. It is really a tough nut to crack. =.= Come to think abt it.. Luckily she broke off with me after a few wks.. I really can't imagine how things gonna turn out if she never wanted a breakup.. >_<

Will u stay on and wait for the person after that person broke off with u and treating u badly to make u shoo? I know someone who would.. I dun used to be like that coz i've never came across.. lolx.. =P Ok, back to the issue.. Since that person is treating u badly thereafter the relationship fails, it clearly stated that the person wants you to give up totally. Maybe that's not the case(that i do not know). For wat i did last time was saying harsh things to karen to make her sad and turn away.... sigh.. I'm not saying that person is in the wrong coz i'm in no position to say that. =( But anyway, it's not adviseable to dwell over "spilled bean".. Everyone has got a life and it's short. So, live on. Everyone is good in saying but not doing. Same goes for me. I can say that i wanted to quit smoking by the end of this mth, however, i've never started quitting. Come on, talk is cheap. It wun pain to talk more. But actions will be paid off for the effort but not talks. This can apply to a lot of my friends in my life including myself.. Haiz.. Human nature? Whatever.

If u see a little gal running round the playground and suddenly she fell down and u went over to life her up. When she got up, she carry on running. =.=" Was it outta mischief or she knows that if she falls again i'll be there to pick her up? Depending on others is comforting.. Being too depending is bad.. Wat if someday, ur support-pillar gonna fails u? haiz.. I myself prefer a bit of dependent and a bit of independent.. Juz like how i prefer prefered a guai gal with a little huai.. lolx.. Dun worry, i've found her. *wink* =D

I've juz read Shan's new blog. Kinda quite a complicated thingy for a young gal. Got an urge to stop her doing stupid things but i can't seems to letting myself do it.. There are ppl asking me to go ahead and help her up, letting her get her own stand.. There are ppl who asked me not to go and care abt her as she does not worth my time and effort.. All 'these' ppl know her but some she doesn't know. hehe.. Letting myself make the decision. I will still care for her no matter what. Not everything, but to the best of my ability. If becoz of wat i did, i gain a chance to take good care of her, i wun want it. If becoz of wat i did, i din stand a chance at all, it's doesn't matter to me coz without that i can still live on. ^_^ Regarding why i would not want it, it's becoz 'ai qing bu shi tong qing'.

Juz like my friend who work at SLS. If i really gave her a chance, it would mean tong qing. All these started becoz of my colleague.. =.= He scared that i'm a gay coz since the time i know him(i know him before i enter army and that time i'm with karen... i can't possibly tell him "i've got a gf but i cannot show u").. lol.. Then after army i'm to working with him and for one whole yr i dun have a gf.. So, he ask me to go chase that gal lor.. To prove him that i'm not a gay so i initiate the move and i back off halfway and got myself stucked in the middle.. haiz.. He would only teach me bad things and got me into nothing but troubles.. hehe.. No lah.. actually he taught me a lot.. He taught me how to see such things easily. Wan to go in rs, juz go. Wan to give up, juz give up, anyway gals only mah.. =.=" I'm bad learner though.. haha

In relationships there's two kinds of ppl i hate. Each for each gender. For guys, those whose minds are only into sex. =.=" For gals, those whose minds are only into money. When both gets together, it makes a joke. As a guy point of view, i can jolly well say that going to whorehouse is much better. Cheaper and more experienced. Well, a relationship can still live without sex but a marriage is diff.. Anyway, i will not ask for it but neither will i decline it but still gonna depends on who is the other side. =P As a gal point of view, getting money for having my body being abused. Dirty and rich. Putting other's misery into self satisfaction. Wat the? I'm not discriminating anyone nor pinpointing anyone so pls do not take these 'too' seriously. But learn it, learn it from others but not thru the hard way.

I've found someone who is like that. It's a she and she's getting on my nerves. There was once i jio her go clubbing and she said that she no money to go so i told her this, "nevermind lah, if a bit i still can help but i will not help ur friend(who is a guy i do not know)". And now she treated it that watever she wants i will get it for her.. =.=" As most ppl know, i always give unconditionally without taking back much.. >_<>

I know the real reason for getting kinda upset the other time liao.. It was all happened on a fateful friday nite.. I was kinda being showed that someone else is better than me.. At 1st, i dun really care much coz afterall we are in discreet and i cannot show too much on my face.. That will only give me away.. Then after that i can see that guy was pretty happy with himself dancing with her.. =.=" Makes me feel so uncomfortable.. I know, this is so called jealous.. Somemore that day before i went over to the club i drank half a bottle of Jim Bean, already quite tipsy liao.. I guess i tend to think a lot of nonsences when i'm high.. I let the matter sink with a smile though but by pressing my heart.. But after a few days, they actually went out again late at night.. I felt that as if i was distanced, and i wasn't prepared at that moment.. Luckily there was no outburst.. I had myself contained.. Now i'm back to myself. =) As for now, even though anyone were to go after her, i will not stop that coz i do not have the rights to, and it's her life afterall and i dun not wish to invade into hers.. I treasured my freedom and privacy so do i respect others'.. Afterall we are in discreet. Even though she's gonna go off with another guy, i will wave to her and wish her all the best, with a smile of coz. =)

"What is meant to be will be, What isn't meant to be will never be" Haha.. "I will not forget you even if u ask me to, but i will forgive". "There's no point having an empty shell. I rather not to have anything". Zhen Zhen told Tian You "If u dun love me, dun bite me.(bitting will cause eternal life, vampire. Eternally with the person u dun like..)" Thus, i will say "If u dun love me, let it go.(letting go will not let me have false hopes)". If i choose to die, i will choose a fast and hurtful way rather than a slow and less pain way. Coz it's vice versa if u think carefully. =)

I've finishing seeing 'A date with Vampire part 1 & 2'. Both also very touching but doesn't seems to move me to tears.. lolx. Afterall i'm not that emotional.. Maybe.. Whether is that true, i'm not sure myself.. Even when my dad gonna die one day, i dun think i will cry also.. But if it's gonna be my dog, 'maybe' i will. Maybe not.. tired liao. nite all.