Kinda so many had happen lately.. But actually, those were juz some old prob recurring.. haiz.. Never-ending prob.. >_< That time becoz of my work, i got so stress.. It's all abt how to be a bad guy and leave my company when it needed me the most after my colleague left.. My point of view being an outdoor sales executive is fun and different from wat i used to do. Totally a different approach. My boss is not really a fantastic person.. He can be nice at times and nasty at times.. Haiz.. He pressured me directly when he asked me that question. He asked me whether would i stay in the company and help him if my colleague were to leave.. Haiz.. I dun wanna say it out so soon as my reservist is juz next wk.. But he insist he wanted an ans from me.. So tong ku.. Got things to say but cannot say..

I understand that this seems to be an easy task to many but not to me.. There's more to it than meet the eye. It's not juz abt quitting, that's all.. Afterall way before i got enlisted into army i had already know my boss.. To date, it has been almost 7yrs since i knew him.. Walking outta him at a time like this is kinda bad.. Somemore the next job is not any better than current, but i juz want a lesser stress job for the time being.. I've got way too many things to shoulder and bottle-up.. If i stay here in this company i'm afraid i might juz simply burst into a million pieces.. That i'm not sure but i can feel it.. >_< So nan gao and tong ku inside me that day.. really have the urge to escape to paradise.. =/

That day shan suddenly called me early in the morning 6am.. And she was crying.. And she said she was drenched and was feeling cold.. From sleepy mode i immediately woke up, and i told her i'll be right there at where she is.. I got changed and washed up then i went out liao.. Took a cab and i reached Parkway. I saw her sitting there all alone and all wet.. =.= Wah lao, depressed also no need to like that torture urself mah.. Due to hurry out in a haste, i forgot to bring a windbreaker.. Thus, seeing her feelling cold, i wrap my arm around her and pull her close to reduce a bit of her coldness.. It wasn't of any help though and i got my clothes a bit wet coz her clothes were still wet.. =.= Therefore, we proceed to the coffeeshop and get some hot drinks and had our breakfast.. She looked so stunned and pale.. Haiz.. After that i walked her home then i make my way home.. I still got work that day but i reached home at abt 10am and was very tired liao.. Thus, i told my boss i not feeling well and i did not go work.. But ok lah.. Once a while did not go work it's fine de.. I'm glad that i'm still needed to some.. But then again, if she never tell me, i would never know and these would never happened.. I like to being confide in.. Coz at least i feel that i'm living for something and not juz live life.. =)

When the one u like push u around to others, it's really not nice.. =( Haiz.. Sad.. It often leads to other thoughts.. Does he/she doesn't like me anymore? Does he/she dun want me anymore? does he/she detest me oredi? Haiz.. Sian.. >_< Leaving a person for his/her own good is indeed noble; or izzit selfish? Retaining a person regardless of how tough the path of two will be is indeed a pleasure, or izzit suffering?

I dun know.. I'm lost.. Juz like stranded in the vast ocean.. Dunno how to go, where to go, wat to do.. >_< Haiz.. Indeed being borned into this world is cruel.. Is there any Angel out there who can help me? Or is there any Devil out there who can help me? I juz wanna slp.. I juz wanna dun care.. I juz wanna run away.. But i juz cannot do this... Wat am i toking abt? =.= I'm still gonna live. A new entity is awaiting me! A new life with her is awaiting me! Maybe a brand new environment to live is awaiting me! How can i give up without even having those awaiting me?!?! =P

Last but not least, got something to say to you: After i come back, we go catch a show then go somewhere quiet ok? I juz wanna be alone with you.. Even it's gonna be juz a little while.. Hope u dun turn me down again.. Drop me a sms and let me know ok? =)