How do you feel? When someone hug u from behind.. Did u felt that unspoken loneliness in him..? Well it's a pathetic feel, I can understand that.. Actually there's something he intended to confide in u but yea, words got stucked in his throat.. Afterall he's still stranded in the vast sea.. I think u can feel it, so that's why u took his hand and wrap it around u? Sigh.. He's useless as usual.. Unable to stand up on his own yet..

U said that maybe we all shld learn to be jian dan.. Well, most from EY do.. But dun forget, it takes two hands to clap.. No point doing it one way.. Anyway, there's no good guys in the world.. Sorry to say that but I discriminate all guys.. That's why I hate myself.. Well, we both had the same mindset towards love.. Never-ending, ever-lasting, one and only. It's tough I tell ya.. It ain't easy.. Humans are not easily satisfied nor know how to appreciate until the time comes.. Though I didn't go for IHT but I do remembered.. What EY had taught me, I never forgot.. Wanted to go back to do ur part but yet refrain..? I understand that, coz me too.. =( it's a miserable feeling.. Well, the hardships we've been thru in EY is abt the same, u been thru more though.. At least the path is the same.. Those were the days.. Sharing hardships and joy together will bring the bond together..

U still have my 100%.. I din redistribute it like I used to be in the past.. U made me believe in love. A heart can never be shared.. I expect a two-way thing. Even though we seems to be apart, but the heart still remains. What abt yours..? I wanted to know. Did I sensed wrong again? Maybe u would preferred that i bring myself back to the can't-care-less? O.o

I wonder. Hatred wins a hand over love but I beg to differ coz that's me, myself and I. Huiwen asked me, "Why guys are only after pussies?" I told her, "well, becoz that's guys." And that's why I hate myself. Guys do disgust me so I dun wanna do things that a normal guy would do. I'm not like one of those. Dun mistaken, i'm not pin-pointing. It's for all guys. But u know i'm different that's why we can be that close. Not anymore though when I make that decision.. It's good that ur memories are failing u.. I'm not worth to be part of ur memories anyway..

I miss my old blog theme, 'Can sin be forgiven?' Cloud unable to forget the fact that Aeris died becoz he can't protect her.. He's unable to forgive himself.. Well, to me, sin can be forgiven but not forgotten. Thus I always dwell into the past.. Well, can't deny the facts although it's already over rite. Darn. What am I supposed to do then? Some says holding on is strong, maybe it's letting go.. Well that's not me.. Sin can be forgiven. Ppl said i'm foolish but if such a person is this good to them? It's just envy and jealous? Whatever. Dun ordered me around.

"Where's ur bf?"

"I dunno.. Must be drinking and enjoying himself right now.."

Yes at that time but a call or msg it's all it takes to show, how impt u are compared to his friends.. Juz like how kelvin would abandoned us to go find Aili.

"Where's ur gf?"

"I dunno.. She just want to be alone I guess or maybe otherwise. I got no clue.."

"Huh? What kind of bf are u?!"

"Even if I call or ask, she also wun tell me exactly de lah.. This ain't living life.."

Would u prefer a nice flower with bees or a normal flower without bees? I dun mind a nice flower but i'm not sharing if not possible then i'll get a normal flower then.

"if the flower make clear to the bees, everything shld be fine rite?"

Thanks for advice. I know u are like this but I still dunno what I want. Accompany me a little while more where words are not essential. I appreciate it.. Coz afterall I had to make my own decision.. Thanks anyway.. Opposites attract, like u said. That's why it's natural to have so many gals/guys friends mah. Indeed u got super duper a lot.. Lol.. =.=

I used to know that different gender can be best friends.. How come not anymore..? Jasmine used to be very close to me but why not anymore? Celana and Xuehui also. How come not anymore? Was it me or them..? U said he is ur best friend till arms over shoulder, a shoulder to cry on & bday kisses.. That lighten me a bit and brought me back good memories.. Those good old days.. But the thing is, my status is now different, had to spare a thought for her ya..? Though that is not an excuse but it is still an excuse.. Haha. Ppl thought we are an item but everyone else knows u had a bf. That's not the point. Well in fact, I realised I din care much abt that until today when u told me abt ur best friend..

I may be a bochap person till i'm under control.. My dad told me not to anyhow spend money and yet he kept getting money to buy beers and 4D and Toto regardless whether do we have enuff money for ourself or not, he just want it. Well, i'm an easy going person. If he wanted, I would give it to him with no complain. But he grumbled and tried to restrict me. Farking hell i'm drinking with my own farking money unlike u useless piece of shit! Kao! When my freedom is being endagered, I would expect the same in return. U dun want me to drink and land myself in debts, u jolly-well do the same and spare a farking thought for me. U dun wan me to do it and yet u are doing it. Ironic. Damn u. That's the kind of me that many dunno. If u are showing me something, that means I can do that as well. It's a freaking fact lor. Simple logic. I hate ppl who dun spare a thought for others' feelings when doing something. That's why I hate him and myself. Damn it.