My post is only halfway done... Anyway, side track a bit today.
It seems that the light is not as painful as it seems to be. Coz i can feel the pain in it. Somehow glad that i get the full picture which explained the whole puzzle. My sense is sharp afterall but not really that acurate. Sharp on using on a wrong aspect. Focusing on a wrong aspect. It's indeed a painful journey. Laughters of joy, tears of pain, agony of hatred. All we have had were almost the same. Felt that only if we can turn back time.. But watever gone will be gone.. Time can never be fetched back.. Cracks can never be undone.. Nightmares can never be forgotten.. We can only move forward now. Often said, "History can repeat itself". Not for me. I will not allow my own history to repeat, never. Unbearable pain and sufferings are hard to withstand.. Still painful for both, but wat to do. Reality bites and it bites real hard. We are both in the wrong and we are both right. There's no way to differenate rights & wrongs, unless we see deep into things. Communication plays a real impt part. With communications, a powerful army can just be vanquished easily due to miscommunications.
Time of pain, time of despair, time of agony. Those are gone. Let's not rack it up again. I will not get those into my blog as well, but i will still post the digusted me in there. For those that i did, for those that i din, for those that i've done, for those that not yet done. I'll still want to protect u no matter how rocks are being thrown at me till even i might die one day.. I will continue to protect just like how i used to be, just like how i wanted to be. Till the last breath, i will fight on.
I'm sorry for things that i had done, i'm sorry for things that i din do, i'm sorry for the pain that i gave, i'm sorry for all the troubles that i've caused, i'm sorry for all the things that i shouldn't have said to wrong u, i'm sorry for all the empty promises.
I'm sorry, i'm just incapable.
I'm sorry, i'm just useless.
I'm sorry, i'm just naive.
I'm sorry, i'm just stupid.
I'm sorry, i'm just insensitive.
I'm sorry, i'm just foolish.
I'm sorry, i'm just an idiot.
I'm sorry, i'm just a freaking worthless ass.
I'm sorry for being sorry but i can't help but to feel sorry. I'm totally disgusted in my actions that allowed such things happen.. Just once, not twice, not thrice.
"Still young. Still too early."
To hell with you, shut the hell up. You are in no rights to shoot that when you yourself are even worst case. Loser.
"There's still other flowers out there."
I already had one in my hand, i'm not supposed to pick another. You can go right ahead, goodbye.
"Marriage? You serious about it? LOL!"
What's so funny? Get a life, i know you dread of marriage. Well, anyway you are just afraid that you can't play anymore.
"Leopards will never change its spots, you know that."
Yup, the good nature old her that i knew has not changed at all.
"Not worth it, you can find a better one."
Well, i'm not your cup of tea. If you think she is no good, u think u are of any better? My foot. In some aspects she's much more better than ya.
"Don't you feel tired? You sure you still got confidence?"
Yup i'm tired, i'm more tired of negatives. Confidence? Yup, i know you don't.
"The future is a long way to go, you seriously got to think carefully about it."
I've been thinking why can't all of you just leave the two of us alone. For god damn sake, get your own. Remember the word 'karma'. What comes around will goes around.
Well, some may find these words/sentences familiar. Yes, i'm just returning them back to you. If not happy, can just bring it on. I'm ready anytime. You want a piece of me? I'll give it to you. I'm weixing, i will not run nor hide nor change my name. You wanna play? I'm game. Becoz i'm serious and this ain't a game.
