Sian.. Life's boring.. I really can't sit and wait for things to happen.. Will get bored to death soon... Haha.. Yest slept so early.. =.=" 7pm+ i concuss liao.. I guess i'm really tired.. Hope that i really can tune back my system clock... Tonite dbl-o.. Actaully dun really feel like going de.. But suddenly carol says she wanted to go.. Aiyo.. Shld not have promised her that i will accompany her to clubbings.. Wah lao.. Still got one more which is st james powerhouse.. I miss techno.... =( Now no more MU liao.. Haiz.. Then no one seems to like techno.. He also dun wan go de lah.. I know he no money liao then now just started work only.. I guess can only wait for Ronnie lor.. But dunno when he will contact me.. Last time he always go DB, now switch to MOS already.. But he only if got big event then will be there de... Clubbing is getting boring.. Haha.. But actually i still prefer clubbing rather than ktv..
U sound so desperate to me.. Haha.. Can't live without man.. =X Oops! How can i say this.. =P Well, it's true though.. I can feel ur yearning.. =.= Well, and ur mindset seems so similar to the one in my hatelist.. Maybe becoz both also from ITE bah.. Oops.. How can i discriminate..? Raine also from ITE but she ok de leh.. Haha.. Oh ya toking abt Raine, she's back to her bf liao.. That time broke off i still so worry abt her... Afterall she's my ex-colleague.. But now since things are fine for her, good lor.. =) But u are better than the one in my hatelist lah.. That one is incorrigible.. Actually such gal is easy to pian one.. But i'm worried later when things end and u might use death as a threaten.. Lolx.. Then if i were to ask u to go ahead and if u did then i will be in trouble liao.. =X Anyway, it's not gonna be me who needed u. =)
Well, it's true that i can't live without gals, as in gals friends.. Before i lost my N6030 and still using my 9740xxxx, i got tons of contacts.. Almost 700+ and i'm still in contact with a lot of gals.. Oh well, ever since i changed to this starhub 8118xxxx, i did not bother to msg everyone informing of the change of number... Becoz this number i got it becoz of a person, for that person to contact me.. Becoz for her sake, i feel that i dun need anyone else except for the close ones.. Well, i was wrong and now i regretted.. Feel so bad.. Everyone thought that i was gone into thin air.. Even though i msg them informing of new number, no one seems to care much already except for a few like celena and mixue.. Suddenly i felt so empty though i already did when i'm alone all by myself.. I used to be never short of ppl around me, be it normal friends or close friends, be it clubbers or coffee-goers, be it gals or guys, be it casual friends or intimate friends or friends who try to get close to me.. But now i seems to left with nothing.. Naked and needed to stand up all over again to build up the old weixing.. Is that really essential? Is that really possible? Is that really important?
Felt so sucky on my life and digusted on my life.. I told my best friend, yx.. I wanted to look for a job overseas.. Trying to run away.. Run away from everything, run away from everyone.. I know there will be people to hold me back, pull me back or even grabbed me tight and dun let me go.. The feeling of snapping.. I'm sick of this life, i'm sick of my family, i'm sick of complicated life, i'm sick of simple life, i'm sick of relationships, i'm sick of guys, i'm sick of gals, i'm juz so sick.. My angels wun be able to do a thing.. They got their own life unlike the past anymore.. Why do i need to rely.. I dun understand.. I thought i'm strong enuff to live, maybe i'm not.. Stress had been incoming.. More and more, piling and piling, higher and higher.. I know it's my own fault.. But wat can i do when i'm not emotionally stable? Cel knows me the best.. She always ask me not to bottled up too much till one day i will seriously breakdown and collapse.. That's my nature.. Coz i know that ppl tends to be carried away by others emotions.. Gal, u know me the best as well, that's why i kept saying we are the same and we are being attracted to each other at that time..
Hide until i can't hide anymore, i guess i would run away to a secluded place where no one knows me.. Till now i see no wings.. Yet to find another perfect her.. Maybe i'm too demanding.. Maybe it's really being sealed up.. Maybe i dun really need.. Maybe i do need.. I'm being so hard to please.. Haha..
Yest dbl-o was a great nite, was a bad nite.. So many ppl went.. Dawn, bouncer, terry, rain, osim guy, jiayi, gal in white dress, my sis, waiyee. Such a big group.. But this time it's different from MOS that time.. MOS bigger group but dbl-o more fun.. Less crowd and less chaotic.. Still, it's complicated.. I can see ppl on the dancefloor, guy caressing a gal, guy and gal kissing, guy approaching gal, guys trying to get close to the gals in my group, sexy dancing here and there. Complicated.. I dun see myself yearning for anything but rather, haha things can happen.. At our table when dawn was talking to jiayi, jiayi kept leaning forward... =.= Then i kept turning around to look at the dancefloor direction instead.. Then afraid that they will scared that i will get boring so had to face them, therefore i got down the step so that i will not get to see anything... And then jiayi's friend, that gal was wearing a short dress and it was short.. =.= Again i had to face the dancefloor direction... Omg.. Wat's wrong with me..? Well, I dun need any charisma but why am i running away from tasties..? Sigh.. Both of them are indeed pretty but none seems to be appealing to me.. Looks are deceptive. I mean no harm in my words, i'm juz being defensive..
Drank beer, vodka lime and one tequila shot.. Can't mix beer with vodka or anything else.. I'm pretty high juz like my sis.. Well, i dun mind being high, being not so sober.. In the past, the gals would prefer me to be high if not i'm not the usual clubber weixing.. Afterall i'm a shy type.. =X If yest didn't mix the beer with vodka, i dun think i would even tok to any other gals even jiayi or waiyee.. I would fold my arms and confined myself and limit myself to few words..
I know u dun agree on wat i had posted in previous. I know i shld not have post that.. Well, the fact is i had to let u know.. U know, sometimes words can get stucked.. Or u really prefer me not even mentioning the unspoken..? I can grant ur wish de.. =) Dun worry, i mean no harm.. Simple care and concern, if not i would not even bother to..
