Tired... 10days of road show at cwp then head direct to suntec.. Xiong.. 1st day totally no mood to chiong... At least 2nd day better... But overall sales still bad... Sigh..
Today evening she called me, too busy talking to cust and also dun really feel like picking up lah.. Last time i will never missed to ans her calls whether busy or not.. When i'm free in abt an hr time, went smoke and called her back.. Asked her she called me for what, then she said nothing much. Juz here and there trying to show some friendship concern like dinner eat liao mah then i said no time to eat then asked me to see if i can quickly go grab a bite or something.. Din care much by replying no time.. Actually there's nothing to talk abt.. I wonder she called for what.. As if i so free like that.. I admit i was cold but well, there's a limit to how much one can endure and further more there's nothing to talk abt. Want to tell me how blissful she and he are going on? Heck. I never even thought of giving her any calls since the 4D thingy.
Simple, when i felt that whatever i do and not being appreciated, i will juz snapped. Even though friends. I'm saying whoever and not juz abt her. She's not my world. Everyone are my world.
Saw Rebecca Wong at the pcshow.. That time at Expo she working as cylon promotor and bought a F2235 from me, we still in contact though. This time she's working for standard chart and ask me to sign up for her.. =.=" Already got liao leh.. Lolx.. Cute and pretty as usual.. =D 1st day i walked past her and din see her then she msg me and scold me say din go over to say hi.. lolx.. Really din see mah.. =P
Jasline also working at the pcshow.. That time in march she bought a DV3605TX from me, still in contact. 1st day called her liao to check on her.. =X She's working 6th floor as a Cylon promotor.. O.O Today before 12 she came over to my booth to say hi then i saw her eating so i disturb her and opened my mouth instantly.. Lolx.. Cute as before.. =P
Yest nite before going back home, headed over to boat quay 7-11 to buy cigarettes and milk. When i came out, saw two gals coming in and all 3 of us stopped... She said i'm very 'shou' to her then i told her not to eat me up.. lolx.. Then we all laughed.. Both of us said forgot already so we smiled and walked our way.. How come got chio bu but i can dun rmb de?? o.O That's so weird of me.. Maybe customer.. Haha..
Suddenly felt so tired again after receiving that call.. Maybe becoz i uploaded those 'scandalous' pic up in my QQ and she saw? But well, it's too late. Even though she still got high chance, nothing's gonna bring me back.. It's all over..
On tue evening on msn saw karen's msn pic which shows her doggie.. Msg her and disturb her why she steal my dog.. Lolx.. Almost the same breed.. Then i put mine up and we compared.. Yup, they are different coz mine is botak.. =X Chat a little more then i logout and go home liao.. Wed morning when i login my msn, saw her msg on msn calling my name weixing.. Sms her and said explained yest no reply.. She replied, "nothing much just all of sudden when talking with u yesterday reminds me of u." "like how weird is that. Like somehow feel close with u but i dunno u anymore like so vague." Memories of the past. Not memories of the bad but memories of the good.. When was that...? 9 yrs back..? Wow... 5days after her bday i was enlisted into army.. Today had a little chat with her too.. But she called me Xing.. (O.O)
12 June, 2009
10 June, 2009
Close the book..
The story had reached its final chapter.. If i say no pain, i'm lying.. Two instances.. One, with a little alcohol on day 1 and juz one song, i almost cannot hold back.. Sec, also with a little alcohol and several songs till that song came.. 1st one is more obvious coz before that instance, eyes itchy somemore and have to keep rubbing it till its watery.. =.=
Ppl had been trying to learn the whole story while i keep mum and stuffed everything inside where no one really knows wat's going on.. Still laughing smiling joking at work even after work at BQ.. Only when i spoke to xiaoling, i'm more emotional.. But gotta scolded for being fan jian by her. =.=" Wah lao not as if i woo her de mah.. I long time no woo gals liao lor. Diao.
"I will never leave him.." This sentence set the crack the glass.. Anyway, not impt.. On sat, my new post was being viewed by her. Before that we already had a little row.. I knew she viewed coz i can track who's viewing me de.. Nothing heard from her all the way till i finished work.. Zoom towards SLE, into SLE all the way towards CTE, after Bradell exit PIE, went thru Sim Ave then exited GL on the left, lane change all the way to the rightmost lane and turned into lor 11, rode all the way till the end and stopped outside the temple.. Saw her idling at work, sent a sms but no reply. Smoked one stick, called her.. Ask her if she's angry, she said not really coz the fault lies in her but sure got a little angry due to some untrue statements. Went on and on she yap and yap.. As usual, i dun get to talk much.. Talking abt herself, her own life, her online stuffs, her hometown, her dad, then lastly abt him..
Near the end of the conversation, she told me to take good care and asked if we still can be friends coz i'm a nice guy.. Leaving me doesn't mean i'm of no good but rather unfair to me if she not intending to leave him.. Dragging any further as well ends it now, before things really got worst where we unable to even be friends.. Speechless, i told her.. Then she said then we hang up lor.. She said she did not do me wrong so she will not say 'sorry', coz by saying 'sorry' will mean she's sorry to me..
What else can i say..? Rode silently and fastly home though only 120km/h.. Upon reaching my block, dun really feel like going up... But next day early 6am need wakey for car so no choice.. Went straight for shower.. Water running down my hair for quite a moment.. The water is so cold despite the heater is on yet whole body is so hot.. No breakdown, no sound. I'm still fine and under control.. Lay on my bed trying to slp... After a few min, took up my phone and started msging her a sms of abt 4 pages and sent to her before falling asleep..
Next day, everything seems so pointless with an empty heart and no aim in life.. Colourless, they called it.. Plain and vain with no directions.. Do wat also not right... No mood.. After work went down to BQ with jes they all.. In fact, dun really wanna go coz i know alcohol is evil.. It will bring down all my defences.. I also got msg her joking abt my HP num last 4 digit opened in 4D, "我们才刚分手第一天就开我的号码，如果我有买的话，分手了还有钱分呢。。哈哈。" No reply at all.. So, this is called friends after rs ends? It's meant to be a joke to break the ice by changing the bond into friendship bond.. Now it's wed liao, no reply at all..
I dun really hate her, juz that i hate myself.. Why can't i be playful all the while..? 感情专一的人容易受伤害。。。
Let go bah.. It's not the end but a new begining.. A new chapter of life.. Embrace the sunlight after rain, maybe there's rainbow.. Deep inside, the scar is still there..
Being freedom is good... Back into singular motion.. Home is still on the list.. Car is still on the list.. Wah i feel like spending off brandeds.. KNN i must be crazy..
Ppl had been trying to learn the whole story while i keep mum and stuffed everything inside where no one really knows wat's going on.. Still laughing smiling joking at work even after work at BQ.. Only when i spoke to xiaoling, i'm more emotional.. But gotta scolded for being fan jian by her. =.=" Wah lao not as if i woo her de mah.. I long time no woo gals liao lor. Diao.
"I will never leave him.." This sentence set the crack the glass.. Anyway, not impt.. On sat, my new post was being viewed by her. Before that we already had a little row.. I knew she viewed coz i can track who's viewing me de.. Nothing heard from her all the way till i finished work.. Zoom towards SLE, into SLE all the way towards CTE, after Bradell exit PIE, went thru Sim Ave then exited GL on the left, lane change all the way to the rightmost lane and turned into lor 11, rode all the way till the end and stopped outside the temple.. Saw her idling at work, sent a sms but no reply. Smoked one stick, called her.. Ask her if she's angry, she said not really coz the fault lies in her but sure got a little angry due to some untrue statements. Went on and on she yap and yap.. As usual, i dun get to talk much.. Talking abt herself, her own life, her online stuffs, her hometown, her dad, then lastly abt him..
Near the end of the conversation, she told me to take good care and asked if we still can be friends coz i'm a nice guy.. Leaving me doesn't mean i'm of no good but rather unfair to me if she not intending to leave him.. Dragging any further as well ends it now, before things really got worst where we unable to even be friends.. Speechless, i told her.. Then she said then we hang up lor.. She said she did not do me wrong so she will not say 'sorry', coz by saying 'sorry' will mean she's sorry to me..
What else can i say..? Rode silently and fastly home though only 120km/h.. Upon reaching my block, dun really feel like going up... But next day early 6am need wakey for car so no choice.. Went straight for shower.. Water running down my hair for quite a moment.. The water is so cold despite the heater is on yet whole body is so hot.. No breakdown, no sound. I'm still fine and under control.. Lay on my bed trying to slp... After a few min, took up my phone and started msging her a sms of abt 4 pages and sent to her before falling asleep..
Next day, everything seems so pointless with an empty heart and no aim in life.. Colourless, they called it.. Plain and vain with no directions.. Do wat also not right... No mood.. After work went down to BQ with jes they all.. In fact, dun really wanna go coz i know alcohol is evil.. It will bring down all my defences.. I also got msg her joking abt my HP num last 4 digit opened in 4D, "我们才刚分手第一天就开我的号码，如果我有买的话，分手了还有钱分呢。。哈哈。" No reply at all.. So, this is called friends after rs ends? It's meant to be a joke to break the ice by changing the bond into friendship bond.. Now it's wed liao, no reply at all..
I dun really hate her, juz that i hate myself.. Why can't i be playful all the while..? 感情专一的人容易受伤害。。。
Let go bah.. It's not the end but a new begining.. A new chapter of life.. Embrace the sunlight after rain, maybe there's rainbow.. Deep inside, the scar is still there..
Being freedom is good... Back into singular motion.. Home is still on the list.. Car is still on the list.. Wah i feel like spending off brandeds.. KNN i must be crazy..
07 June, 2009
Extreme Pain in dark
Damn it. Damn it. Damn Rick.
I hate u. I hate u. I hate Rick.
Pain. Pain. Pain Rick.
The light had diminished. Dun really want to talk abt it. Pain is evil.
Unable to shed, nothing outta it.
Unable to scream, nothing outta it.
Unable to hate, nothing outta it.
Unable to love, nothing outta it.
Unable to eat, nothing outta it.
Unable to sleep, nothing outta it.
Unable to play, nothing outta it.
Unable to do things, nothing outta it.
What a mess of life u had there, Rick. Nothing but a failure.
I see no light, i feel no warmth, i smell no smell, i hear no sound, i taste blend.
Happy in disguise.. Keep it that way..
Happy-go-lucky to everyone.. Keep it that way..
Sorrow in darkness.. Keep it that way..
Many said i was like an angel to them.. Well, i'm juz a fell angel, a fallen angel.. I hate myself as much as those who hate me.. Really... 爱太痛。。。除了你我还能爱谁...？我像个残废。。。
I hate u. I hate u. I hate Rick.
Pain. Pain. Pain Rick.
The light had diminished. Dun really want to talk abt it. Pain is evil.
Unable to shed, nothing outta it.
Unable to scream, nothing outta it.
Unable to hate, nothing outta it.
Unable to love, nothing outta it.
Unable to eat, nothing outta it.
Unable to sleep, nothing outta it.
Unable to play, nothing outta it.
Unable to do things, nothing outta it.
What a mess of life u had there, Rick. Nothing but a failure.
I see no light, i feel no warmth, i smell no smell, i hear no sound, i taste blend.
Happy in disguise.. Keep it that way..
Happy-go-lucky to everyone.. Keep it that way..
Sorrow in darkness.. Keep it that way..
Many said i was like an angel to them.. Well, i'm juz a fell angel, a fallen angel.. I hate myself as much as those who hate me.. Really... 爱太痛。。。除了你我还能爱谁...？我像个残废。。。
01 June, 2009
Pain..
It's like 4.17am NOW and i had to wakey at 7am later! Damn! Tired! Juz now had a little chat with her and made her gan jiong liao coz machiam i had found out something fishy. After the chat, i still go out and buy her the phonecard... Back home msg her the code and pw.. Awhile later she called back.. Nothing much to say. Nothing much to explain coz nothing goes in.. Went into my QQ blog and type so much in there... All in chinese yes.. Knn now is like machiam everything is my fault. My fault in getting jealous izzit? WTF. Wat the farking world had come to? None of the gals can be trusted. Yes now i meant NONE. All have to be for FUN only. Damn.
In fact, i'm not really getting much worked up. Juz maybe the words i said were quite harsh. Well, not really pissed. Maybe i'm juz finding fault. Finding fault to force myself let go. Finding fault to make her useless and worthless in me. Finding fault to end these. Maybe i'm juz selfish but well, that's me. Take it or leave it. All along my temper was no good at all. So many yrs liao.. Occasionally of coz still will erupt lah.
Jason said i've fallen into the trap again. Girls only mah, scared no have meh? I'm juz lazy.. Build up, stablised, collapsed. Again and again and again. Even Keith also same prob.. So he's back into smoking.. No more commitments so he buy what he want to buy now and do what he used to not do when hitched.. Knn am i going back to my shadow again? Where's my life buoy? I had no one to turn to. Unlike last time liao... Got celena, got carisa, got xuehui, got shan, got jenny, got huiwen, got connie, got dawn. Even Erica is my life buoy even though she only accompany me watch movie.. I know there are some that i din mentioned or missed out. But what's the point of having so many when i dun have one that i can really talk to? When facing them be it in person or on the fone or on sms or in msn, nothing comes out of me.. That's why this blog is still alive and its still opened to public.. Unspoken words that are stucked inside are out in here...
Advices here and there been on going since dunno how many months ago.. Nothing heed. Nothing done. No future? Doesn't give a damn. Two-time? Wastage of time and money, somemore that's not my cup of tea. I'm bad at two-timing. Find FL and release stress? Cure for the time being but not entirely cured. I can go thai/viet with the guys, i can go disco with the guys, i can go pubs with the gang, it's only curing for the time being..
Look for Cyndi, Wendy, Xiaoling, Pamela, Ella? Frankly i will only consider Wendy.. Not our Epson promotor, it's one of the waitress. But who knows, maybe in 1yr 9mths time she's not the intended wife? Anyway, a wife is juz a part and parcel of life. So long she can start my next gen, i dun give a damn. That's what a wife is for, IMO. There's no such thing as love... Love is not blind, i am blind.
In fact, i'm not really getting much worked up. Juz maybe the words i said were quite harsh. Well, not really pissed. Maybe i'm juz finding fault. Finding fault to force myself let go. Finding fault to make her useless and worthless in me. Finding fault to end these. Maybe i'm juz selfish but well, that's me. Take it or leave it. All along my temper was no good at all. So many yrs liao.. Occasionally of coz still will erupt lah.
Jason said i've fallen into the trap again. Girls only mah, scared no have meh? I'm juz lazy.. Build up, stablised, collapsed. Again and again and again. Even Keith also same prob.. So he's back into smoking.. No more commitments so he buy what he want to buy now and do what he used to not do when hitched.. Knn am i going back to my shadow again? Where's my life buoy? I had no one to turn to. Unlike last time liao... Got celena, got carisa, got xuehui, got shan, got jenny, got huiwen, got connie, got dawn. Even Erica is my life buoy even though she only accompany me watch movie.. I know there are some that i din mentioned or missed out. But what's the point of having so many when i dun have one that i can really talk to? When facing them be it in person or on the fone or on sms or in msn, nothing comes out of me.. That's why this blog is still alive and its still opened to public.. Unspoken words that are stucked inside are out in here...
Advices here and there been on going since dunno how many months ago.. Nothing heed. Nothing done. No future? Doesn't give a damn. Two-time? Wastage of time and money, somemore that's not my cup of tea. I'm bad at two-timing. Find FL and release stress? Cure for the time being but not entirely cured. I can go thai/viet with the guys, i can go disco with the guys, i can go pubs with the gang, it's only curing for the time being..
Look for Cyndi, Wendy, Xiaoling, Pamela, Ella? Frankly i will only consider Wendy.. Not our Epson promotor, it's one of the waitress. But who knows, maybe in 1yr 9mths time she's not the intended wife? Anyway, a wife is juz a part and parcel of life. So long she can start my next gen, i dun give a damn. That's what a wife is for, IMO. There's no such thing as love... Love is not blind, i am blind.
14 May, 2009
Tired..
Yest went down boat quay with jessie and jason.. Supposed to report work earlier today to help out richard.. Too tired unable to wakey.. =.=" Yest drank a bit too much liao... Headache..
Yest saw pamela, she no more working pub liao she said.. But suddenly she promised raymond that she will help out on tue, thurs and sat.. =.=" She actually came boat quay to find her 'auntie' de.. The white colour ah lian.. Lolx.. When outside whiskey smoking saw them. Then her 'auntie' drunk liao put her head on pamela's shoulder.. Then when pamela turn her head to look at her, they kissed! (O.O) Then i gave them the astonishing look but that gal looked at me and smile then sticked out her tongue. =.=" Think her age almost similar to pamela but slightly older. Pam called her auntie is becoz of the generation different, related in blood i guess.. But she vomit until sibei jialat. Ended up pam had to take care of her. =.="
Then Cyndi working yest also at whiskey.. Then wanting me to open bottle. ZzZzZzZzZz.. Seems like she got prob with her bf liao. All ask me to go ahead. =.=" But frankly my mind is full of the white gal.. She also got come in whiskey bar to take water, still can give me a 'V' sign.. Lolx.. I showed her a thumbs-up then she showed she's ok.. Well, that was before she vomit. =.="
The big spec guy beside us kept wanting to talk to my jessie.. Lolx.. Then i write in my iphone to ask her to go ahead lolx.. Cute mah. =P Wah Jessie's pool skills getting better and better.. Especially her double.. Lost so much to her yest.. Power..
Yest got a lot of randoms in mind.. Abt work abt gals abt life abt game. =.=" Jason is right. It's all becoz i dun have a home to bring gals home to, tat's why i always restrain.. Got the signal to go forward but when seeing the fish is bitting the bait, i reel back.. Actually it's not really becoz of a home but more of a commitment or rather a reason to back off.. Days back i juz scolded jessica.. Sigh.. It was a mistake.. Becoz my msn said i divorcing my 'wife', she thot i was married.. Then she asked when i said since the time in ST where jessica working too.. Then scolded me that i'm married but still play around.. Then i scold her back saying that me and her got nothing at all so why bother so much whether i'm married or not.. She said she thot there's something between us that's why she mind that i'm married. Actually it's complicated, in actually fact we truely clean juz went out once to bugis village walk walk nia.. She pissed off and away. =.="
Well, another reeling back in place.. Cyndi's reel also back liao.. Xiaoling's reel also back liao. Xiaocui and Amy also back liao coz they went back china le.. No need reels at all lah.. Anyway, put liao also always not wanting to get any fishes... I'm bad at many-timings. =.="
Genting trip this month end before my roadshow.. Looking forward to this getaway for relaxation..
Yest saw pamela, she no more working pub liao she said.. But suddenly she promised raymond that she will help out on tue, thurs and sat.. =.=" She actually came boat quay to find her 'auntie' de.. The white colour ah lian.. Lolx.. When outside whiskey smoking saw them. Then her 'auntie' drunk liao put her head on pamela's shoulder.. Then when pamela turn her head to look at her, they kissed! (O.O) Then i gave them the astonishing look but that gal looked at me and smile then sticked out her tongue. =.=" Think her age almost similar to pamela but slightly older. Pam called her auntie is becoz of the generation different, related in blood i guess.. But she vomit until sibei jialat. Ended up pam had to take care of her. =.="
Then Cyndi working yest also at whiskey.. Then wanting me to open bottle. ZzZzZzZzZz.. Seems like she got prob with her bf liao. All ask me to go ahead. =.=" But frankly my mind is full of the white gal.. She also got come in whiskey bar to take water, still can give me a 'V' sign.. Lolx.. I showed her a thumbs-up then she showed she's ok.. Well, that was before she vomit. =.="
The big spec guy beside us kept wanting to talk to my jessie.. Lolx.. Then i write in my iphone to ask her to go ahead lolx.. Cute mah. =P Wah Jessie's pool skills getting better and better.. Especially her double.. Lost so much to her yest.. Power..
Yest got a lot of randoms in mind.. Abt work abt gals abt life abt game. =.=" Jason is right. It's all becoz i dun have a home to bring gals home to, tat's why i always restrain.. Got the signal to go forward but when seeing the fish is bitting the bait, i reel back.. Actually it's not really becoz of a home but more of a commitment or rather a reason to back off.. Days back i juz scolded jessica.. Sigh.. It was a mistake.. Becoz my msn said i divorcing my 'wife', she thot i was married.. Then she asked when i said since the time in ST where jessica working too.. Then scolded me that i'm married but still play around.. Then i scold her back saying that me and her got nothing at all so why bother so much whether i'm married or not.. She said she thot there's something between us that's why she mind that i'm married. Actually it's complicated, in actually fact we truely clean juz went out once to bugis village walk walk nia.. She pissed off and away. =.="
Well, another reeling back in place.. Cyndi's reel also back liao.. Xiaoling's reel also back liao. Xiaocui and Amy also back liao coz they went back china le.. No need reels at all lah.. Anyway, put liao also always not wanting to get any fishes... I'm bad at many-timings. =.="
Genting trip this month end before my roadshow.. Looking forward to this getaway for relaxation..
07 May, 2009
吴克群-爱太痛
吃不能吃睡不能睡
没有了你全都不对
我都学不会把爱敷衍
用笑容来把眼泪催眠
笑不能笑哭不敢哭人
不像人鬼不像鬼
朋友都说这不过失恋
但我却连呼吸都胆怯
能不能不爱了
因为爱太痛了
我痛得快死了
却无法把你忘了
能不能不爱了
爱情它太痛了
我痛得快死了
却无法把爱割舍
...我不能睡...
我不能够不能够不爱了
01 May, 2009
226 posts...
Now then i know i had blogged this much already.. =.=" Back from Taiwan days back. Still haven't adapt to the hot weather.. Lolx.. It's like so humid and warm here.. ZzZzZzZzZzZzZz.. Half naked also no use. Got alot photos incl jason's total more than 200+.. =.= All had been updated onto my photobucket but kinda lazy to post here.. Maybe after i back from my EXPO bah.. YES EXPO! KNN! =.=" In fact i dun like doing shows.. Shag leh... Always not enuff water.. Sigh!
Fri, Sat & Sun full shift at da show at expo. Arbo will be full shift at cwp. Though i seem rusty liao but i need to buck up somemore to pick up my momentum.. Not enuff work time.. Haiz.. Then bike gives me problem again.. No headlights and signal lights.. ZzZzZz.. On and off lah not totally gone.. Really cannot take it liao.. Monday off day will go BBDC register class 3 then head to cwp for my invoices then do my report then after that will meet weihao go see bike.. If see got like one i think i will proposed to change it.. Waste time and effort and money..
Wed flew Taiwan and reached evening then after we eaten our mee sua, darling called me and did many complains.. Ya her usual rants.. Actually i'm more than glad to be there for her and i'm delighted to hear her complaining.. She's so cute.. Haha.. Then she doesn't seems to believe i'm at taiwan liao coz when she called me the ringing sounds local.. Lolx.. Then on sat morning she called me early in the morning 8am when she reached home. Haha.. Trying to catch if i'm sleeping with another gal bah... Really happy that i received her calls.. ^.^
When back at sg liao, one fine day jio go drinking.. Instead of BQ, went Nana.. Never really like nana though i dun mind the music there.. In fact such clubs i would prefer St James.. But nana liq is cheaper lah... Sigh.. Inside there noticed a siam bu named Coco.. Knew her since abt 2yrs ago when i was still in ST. There was once kelvin toh jio me and david go Parklane there drink then from there i got to know her de.. Ya, she's the one who took off my ring from my finger, that time the other one still on my neck.. The duo of roman time engraved were gotten by me to remind me that time will take away all the unwanted memories.. Still rmb when i with my darling during the 'honeymoon period', she ever asked me how come only got one.. =.=" I kept silence but she guessed it was with my ex, so she confiscated it then buy a new pair of another design.. She's so cute.. ^.^
Back to topic, saw that coco at nana but i din call out to her coz i did saw her but not really sure if it was her.. Then kelvin toh saw her and asked me.... I said ya.. Then she turned and saw me, immediately jumped table and grabbed me by my arms.. =.=" Then the whole nite became so complicated.. Yeah dawn always said nightlife were always complicated.. When the drinking session ending, left with only jason devin and jessie and me with that coco outside da club smoking, the 3 of them ditched me.. =.=" Smoked outside with her then after that she pulled me in again.. At the hallway saw the other gal lor and she's going back already.. Ya the one who looked like my ex.. =.=" The mole near her mouth and the face shape.. Actually i'm more interested in this one.. Lolx.. Then coco talked to her liao, the gal left then coco said she still gotta worked till 6am so told me to go home 1st, next day wan go my workplace find me.. =.=" So i went out and head home then saw the gal board a dark blue Subaru. Diao.. Taken liao.. ZzZzZzZzZzZz.. Kept thinking of her until i reached home then after bath i realised i forgot to buy cigarettes. Went down to buy since dad pester me to buy him some beer. Knn he already drank enuff still wan to drink somemore. Saw my money in my wallet then everyday also like that. Next day still gotta alot of things to do. Duh..
Afternoon went down vivo meet jason for lunch then get the invoices for the past wk from jessie then at vivo IT counter rush my report. =.=" Reported work at 5pm+.. At nite qiang jio go down BQ to drink then richard maybe going also.. Cannot decide coz called darling and she's not working. Playing game at home whole day.. Then asked if she wanted to meet later so that i can pass her the things i bought for her at Taiwan.. Quite indecisive so unable to promise qiang for BQ also.. At the end of the day, decided go her place find her. Met her and pass her the things.. Bought her 3 pairs of earrings, a necklace, a hp strap blink blink hello kitty, and 3 clothings.. 1st time buy clothing for someone without her trying before buying.. Coz i always scared buy wrong size or something.. Come to think of it, i shld be familiar mah. =.=" Anyway, she still looks great as usual.. No wonder i can't bear to let go.. Sigh.. Then i showed her the watch i bought from batam. She saw and loved it at the 1st sight.. Lolx.. I took down and let her wear. Wow the size is juz right! So...she confiscated it and said will buy a new one for me.. Lolx.. Well, i'm that anything de.. I juz dunno how to reject ppl.. Especially gals.. Haha.
Kiss her goodbye liao then i carry on my way to AYE.. On the road i kept thinking where to go.. Ride and ride and ride, ended up at Geylang. Lolx.. 1am+ we at lor 28 there.. Not really fun lah but quite ok the dancers.. Got a few quite nice they danced.. Nothing much there, also that i'm not interested.. Only wanted a few sip and listened to the techno.. Ended at 2.30am then the gang go eat with two of the gals. Jason went back on cab while i go to my bike.. Went on the BQ to find qiang coz i'm hungry.. He's at Whiskey.. Met up liao went for prata then go back to the pub.. Sit there tok cock, play games with amy and xiao cui, smoke, drink, sing. All the way till 6am. =.=" Lucky next day no work..
When wakey liao meet up with Jason at SLS as he going there to take the AION client from Leon. Then i learn how to top up my account for my AION so that i can get to play.. My account expired liao. =.=" After that we met up with brandon, joan and jess for steamboat at shaw there.. Ate quite alot but doesn't seems to get my stomach filled fully.. =.=" Thereafter, we went boatquay to relax.. I solo there 1st.. Then saw xiao cui and she immediately grab me over.. =.=" Told her i'm not the boss today but can help her a bit by sitting outside whiskey lah but in the end still gotta use her own strength to persuade the rest.. Lolx.. In the end, we are in. Pool almost all the way.. Then got something happened.. Got a xiaoqiang went up brandon's pants... Lolx.. Disgusting lor.. In the end we did not ordered another bottle though for me jess and jason, it's still early.. We went back early.
Wed nothing much. Morning bought concert tix on behalf of cousin then went work. Went makan with wendy then she followed me to basement to buy the birdnest, help my cousin buy de also. After work went back home and played my Aion.. Jason did called and asked me to go down Lips but kinda no mood to go.. So simply stayed at home..
Today bz day sia.. Went over to pay for my bike installment then go Bugis to pick up the concert tix then the sistic said their printer broke down, told me to go Bras Basah or Cityhall to collect.. =.=" Went on to Bras Basah to get the tix then straight to work.. Today working quite flop.. =.=" Got biten by a few customers though they really wanted to buy com de.. All also served so long.. But bo bian lah.. Need sales.. In the end only gotten 4sets. =.=" Dad called and said he din cook, told me to buy my own food.. At 1st qiang tempt me with BQ de.. But think think, dun wanna go.. Coz i wanna go down Geylang.. Lolx... Not to go to those places lah... But went to darling's workplace and ordered two packets of chicken chop takeaway.. Wah see her from afar i melt liao.. Lolx.. She saw me and was smiling. Made a funny face but still smiling.. ^.^ When i ordering food, she straightaway intro me to her aunt, as ex-colleague. As well as the person who intro yanyan to best denki. Yanyan is her lovely daughter. Thus, i was able to tabao the food for free.. =.=" Walao biz is biz leh.. Arbo i would look like someone who's trying to earn credit or rather favour.. But darling insist that she will not take my money. =.=" Thanked both of them then head to my bike and head back home.. Wah their store really busy.. =.= Biz is so good..
On my way back home, at Lavender there my fone rang. Since i at traffic light red, took out my fone and saw darling calling. Immediately stopped by the bus-stop and called her back. 4 missed calls to me.. =.=" Thought she called me becoz wan to find me to smoke.. Lolx.. Actually she's doing her delivery and was on her bicycle.. Said she unable to really tok to me coz gotta work.. Tok abt some usual stuffs of work and personal then she gotta get bz with work liao. Thus, i carry on my way home then eat my chicken chop. Yummy.. So full of love.. Lolx..
Msn with jessie and she sent me alot of songs. Wah all i dun have de.. O.O Think i really getting old and rusty liao.. Lolx.. Showed the casing that i wanna ordered from hongkong.. Nice lor.. Dunno shld i get it or not.. I always liked things that are unique and not easily available.. Shag.. At 1st thot wanna blog a little then go slp liao coz tml expo 10am muz reach.. Now then i know i rant so much.. Lolx..
But really, i really regret what i did.. =.=" Wtf.. Think i'm going back to the times that i shld reject all siam/viet clubs/pubs..
Fri, Sat & Sun full shift at da show at expo. Arbo will be full shift at cwp. Though i seem rusty liao but i need to buck up somemore to pick up my momentum.. Not enuff work time.. Haiz.. Then bike gives me problem again.. No headlights and signal lights.. ZzZzZz.. On and off lah not totally gone.. Really cannot take it liao.. Monday off day will go BBDC register class 3 then head to cwp for my invoices then do my report then after that will meet weihao go see bike.. If see got like one i think i will proposed to change it.. Waste time and effort and money..
Wed flew Taiwan and reached evening then after we eaten our mee sua, darling called me and did many complains.. Ya her usual rants.. Actually i'm more than glad to be there for her and i'm delighted to hear her complaining.. She's so cute.. Haha.. Then she doesn't seems to believe i'm at taiwan liao coz when she called me the ringing sounds local.. Lolx.. Then on sat morning she called me early in the morning 8am when she reached home. Haha.. Trying to catch if i'm sleeping with another gal bah... Really happy that i received her calls.. ^.^
When back at sg liao, one fine day jio go drinking.. Instead of BQ, went Nana.. Never really like nana though i dun mind the music there.. In fact such clubs i would prefer St James.. But nana liq is cheaper lah... Sigh.. Inside there noticed a siam bu named Coco.. Knew her since abt 2yrs ago when i was still in ST. There was once kelvin toh jio me and david go Parklane there drink then from there i got to know her de.. Ya, she's the one who took off my ring from my finger, that time the other one still on my neck.. The duo of roman time engraved were gotten by me to remind me that time will take away all the unwanted memories.. Still rmb when i with my darling during the 'honeymoon period', she ever asked me how come only got one.. =.=" I kept silence but she guessed it was with my ex, so she confiscated it then buy a new pair of another design.. She's so cute.. ^.^
Back to topic, saw that coco at nana but i din call out to her coz i did saw her but not really sure if it was her.. Then kelvin toh saw her and asked me.... I said ya.. Then she turned and saw me, immediately jumped table and grabbed me by my arms.. =.=" Then the whole nite became so complicated.. Yeah dawn always said nightlife were always complicated.. When the drinking session ending, left with only jason devin and jessie and me with that coco outside da club smoking, the 3 of them ditched me.. =.=" Smoked outside with her then after that she pulled me in again.. At the hallway saw the other gal lor and she's going back already.. Ya the one who looked like my ex.. =.=" The mole near her mouth and the face shape.. Actually i'm more interested in this one.. Lolx.. Then coco talked to her liao, the gal left then coco said she still gotta worked till 6am so told me to go home 1st, next day wan go my workplace find me.. =.=" So i went out and head home then saw the gal board a dark blue Subaru. Diao.. Taken liao.. ZzZzZzZzZzZz.. Kept thinking of her until i reached home then after bath i realised i forgot to buy cigarettes. Went down to buy since dad pester me to buy him some beer. Knn he already drank enuff still wan to drink somemore. Saw my money in my wallet then everyday also like that. Next day still gotta alot of things to do. Duh..
Afternoon went down vivo meet jason for lunch then get the invoices for the past wk from jessie then at vivo IT counter rush my report. =.=" Reported work at 5pm+.. At nite qiang jio go down BQ to drink then richard maybe going also.. Cannot decide coz called darling and she's not working. Playing game at home whole day.. Then asked if she wanted to meet later so that i can pass her the things i bought for her at Taiwan.. Quite indecisive so unable to promise qiang for BQ also.. At the end of the day, decided go her place find her. Met her and pass her the things.. Bought her 3 pairs of earrings, a necklace, a hp strap blink blink hello kitty, and 3 clothings.. 1st time buy clothing for someone without her trying before buying.. Coz i always scared buy wrong size or something.. Come to think of it, i shld be familiar mah. =.=" Anyway, she still looks great as usual.. No wonder i can't bear to let go.. Sigh.. Then i showed her the watch i bought from batam. She saw and loved it at the 1st sight.. Lolx.. I took down and let her wear. Wow the size is juz right! So...she confiscated it and said will buy a new one for me.. Lolx.. Well, i'm that anything de.. I juz dunno how to reject ppl.. Especially gals.. Haha.
Kiss her goodbye liao then i carry on my way to AYE.. On the road i kept thinking where to go.. Ride and ride and ride, ended up at Geylang. Lolx.. 1am+ we at lor 28 there.. Not really fun lah but quite ok the dancers.. Got a few quite nice they danced.. Nothing much there, also that i'm not interested.. Only wanted a few sip and listened to the techno.. Ended at 2.30am then the gang go eat with two of the gals. Jason went back on cab while i go to my bike.. Went on the BQ to find qiang coz i'm hungry.. He's at Whiskey.. Met up liao went for prata then go back to the pub.. Sit there tok cock, play games with amy and xiao cui, smoke, drink, sing. All the way till 6am. =.=" Lucky next day no work..
When wakey liao meet up with Jason at SLS as he going there to take the AION client from Leon. Then i learn how to top up my account for my AION so that i can get to play.. My account expired liao. =.=" After that we met up with brandon, joan and jess for steamboat at shaw there.. Ate quite alot but doesn't seems to get my stomach filled fully.. =.=" Thereafter, we went boatquay to relax.. I solo there 1st.. Then saw xiao cui and she immediately grab me over.. =.=" Told her i'm not the boss today but can help her a bit by sitting outside whiskey lah but in the end still gotta use her own strength to persuade the rest.. Lolx.. In the end, we are in. Pool almost all the way.. Then got something happened.. Got a xiaoqiang went up brandon's pants... Lolx.. Disgusting lor.. In the end we did not ordered another bottle though for me jess and jason, it's still early.. We went back early.
Wed nothing much. Morning bought concert tix on behalf of cousin then went work. Went makan with wendy then she followed me to basement to buy the birdnest, help my cousin buy de also. After work went back home and played my Aion.. Jason did called and asked me to go down Lips but kinda no mood to go.. So simply stayed at home..
Today bz day sia.. Went over to pay for my bike installment then go Bugis to pick up the concert tix then the sistic said their printer broke down, told me to go Bras Basah or Cityhall to collect.. =.=" Went on to Bras Basah to get the tix then straight to work.. Today working quite flop.. =.=" Got biten by a few customers though they really wanted to buy com de.. All also served so long.. But bo bian lah.. Need sales.. In the end only gotten 4sets. =.=" Dad called and said he din cook, told me to buy my own food.. At 1st qiang tempt me with BQ de.. But think think, dun wanna go.. Coz i wanna go down Geylang.. Lolx... Not to go to those places lah... But went to darling's workplace and ordered two packets of chicken chop takeaway.. Wah see her from afar i melt liao.. Lolx.. She saw me and was smiling. Made a funny face but still smiling.. ^.^ When i ordering food, she straightaway intro me to her aunt, as ex-colleague. As well as the person who intro yanyan to best denki. Yanyan is her lovely daughter. Thus, i was able to tabao the food for free.. =.=" Walao biz is biz leh.. Arbo i would look like someone who's trying to earn credit or rather favour.. But darling insist that she will not take my money. =.=" Thanked both of them then head to my bike and head back home.. Wah their store really busy.. =.= Biz is so good..
On my way back home, at Lavender there my fone rang. Since i at traffic light red, took out my fone and saw darling calling. Immediately stopped by the bus-stop and called her back. 4 missed calls to me.. =.=" Thought she called me becoz wan to find me to smoke.. Lolx.. Actually she's doing her delivery and was on her bicycle.. Said she unable to really tok to me coz gotta work.. Tok abt some usual stuffs of work and personal then she gotta get bz with work liao. Thus, i carry on my way home then eat my chicken chop. Yummy.. So full of love.. Lolx..
Msn with jessie and she sent me alot of songs. Wah all i dun have de.. O.O Think i really getting old and rusty liao.. Lolx.. Showed the casing that i wanna ordered from hongkong.. Nice lor.. Dunno shld i get it or not.. I always liked things that are unique and not easily available.. Shag.. At 1st thot wanna blog a little then go slp liao coz tml expo 10am muz reach.. Now then i know i rant so much.. Lolx..
But really, i really regret what i did.. =.=" Wtf.. Think i'm going back to the times that i shld reject all siam/viet clubs/pubs..
21 April, 2009
A change finally
Shag out.. Slept at 7.30am and yet wakey at 11am then tahan until now still do my blog.. =.=" I muz be siao or wat.. lol..
Yest went down to qb with BD group however switched over to Martin instead since xiaobudian asked... But brandon and his wife left first then followed by jason. Left me and jessie.. Later steven and qiang came down to look for me as they haven't got enuff alcohol in them.. Chatted a while and played a few games of pool then found something amusing.. Lolx.. That pinky guy seems interested in knowing Jessie but not sure who am i to her so dare not really approach but rather kept toking to me.. Then after the match between him and jessie they shaked hand. While shaking jessie's hand he looked at me for a while lolx.. Confirm leh.. =D When told jessie she still dun believe.. When i played pool with him, he already kept beo-ing liao lor.. Lolx.. Anyway, cyndi also there with her bf. Said she not working for a wk liao. =.=" If i'm the boss i also will not hire u lah. ZzZzZzZz.. Anyway, jess left early while i sent her down to take cab then as we sms-ing she complaining a bit on the uncle driving her a big round via orchard shaw.. Lolx.. That uncle sleepy lah mind not functioning well..
Left with the 3 of us.. Drink, sing, tok. All the way until 7am then the boss says he really need to close liao... LOLX! When we came down from Martin and down to the road, the whole sky is damn bright liao.. 1st time for all of us to be drinking till this EARLY! =.="
Went home wash up and did some sms. Then on my mininote and check mail then realised something... She posted a new photo.. Juz now after my work reached home and again another photo. She's not the usual cam-whore. Maybe less than 5 pics a year. =.="
Anyway, did some postings the other day on the QQ group asking ppl inside a question. Interesting...
"Hi ppl, may i know how can i remove my qq or rather entire account? Anyway, someone register for me last time but i din really use it. Then nowadays i've been online in this chat for like several mths liao, but i've never seen her online. Even though she's online, i'm juz a 'transparent', anyway i'm not important. I'm tired."
These were posted in chinese while i direct convert.. I knew she will see it. I posted it on sun morning 6am before i slept.. Sun evening 5pm she called, trying to tok abt it but i act busy trying to rush her with my words here and there.. Then she spur out asking wat FEI HUA i'm toking abt inside there. I juz say that's a fact. Then she tried teaching me on the process of removal. I was doing upgrading and installation for cust so listen half-hearted lor.. Then without much heart to do the toking, i told her to wait then i asked weihao some questions abt cust things then when back on her i told her i'm busy if later free then tok. Sounds cool as i can act, but pain.. Thereafter at downstairs, 3 sticks were burned..
Yea.. I was cold in my words.. When i posted those words in the chatroom, i removed my ring from my neck, name in my phonebook had been changed and pic had been detached from her ctc. I'm really tired. It's an obvious sign and there's NOTHING i shld say to her coz it's like there's nothing between us. As if we had never started, so there's no need for an end. No essential for a word called 'break'. Coz we ain't official in the 1st place.. Ya i'm juz a nobody. Not needed at all. I will not contact her again. There's a limit to everything.
Mon her off day and great, no news. Cfm i gave up liao. I dun even bother msg/call her since she dun even bother. 1 and a half day more to taiwan getaway. I really need a break.. Ya a break.. Maybe it's better that way.
Yest went down to qb with BD group however switched over to Martin instead since xiaobudian asked... But brandon and his wife left first then followed by jason. Left me and jessie.. Later steven and qiang came down to look for me as they haven't got enuff alcohol in them.. Chatted a while and played a few games of pool then found something amusing.. Lolx.. That pinky guy seems interested in knowing Jessie but not sure who am i to her so dare not really approach but rather kept toking to me.. Then after the match between him and jessie they shaked hand. While shaking jessie's hand he looked at me for a while lolx.. Confirm leh.. =D When told jessie she still dun believe.. When i played pool with him, he already kept beo-ing liao lor.. Lolx.. Anyway, cyndi also there with her bf. Said she not working for a wk liao. =.=" If i'm the boss i also will not hire u lah. ZzZzZzZz.. Anyway, jess left early while i sent her down to take cab then as we sms-ing she complaining a bit on the uncle driving her a big round via orchard shaw.. Lolx.. That uncle sleepy lah mind not functioning well..
Left with the 3 of us.. Drink, sing, tok. All the way until 7am then the boss says he really need to close liao... LOLX! When we came down from Martin and down to the road, the whole sky is damn bright liao.. 1st time for all of us to be drinking till this EARLY! =.="
Went home wash up and did some sms. Then on my mininote and check mail then realised something... She posted a new photo.. Juz now after my work reached home and again another photo. She's not the usual cam-whore. Maybe less than 5 pics a year. =.="
Anyway, did some postings the other day on the QQ group asking ppl inside a question. Interesting...
"Hi ppl, may i know how can i remove my qq or rather entire account? Anyway, someone register for me last time but i din really use it. Then nowadays i've been online in this chat for like several mths liao, but i've never seen her online. Even though she's online, i'm juz a 'transparent', anyway i'm not important. I'm tired."
These were posted in chinese while i direct convert.. I knew she will see it. I posted it on sun morning 6am before i slept.. Sun evening 5pm she called, trying to tok abt it but i act busy trying to rush her with my words here and there.. Then she spur out asking wat FEI HUA i'm toking abt inside there. I juz say that's a fact. Then she tried teaching me on the process of removal. I was doing upgrading and installation for cust so listen half-hearted lor.. Then without much heart to do the toking, i told her to wait then i asked weihao some questions abt cust things then when back on her i told her i'm busy if later free then tok. Sounds cool as i can act, but pain.. Thereafter at downstairs, 3 sticks were burned..
Yea.. I was cold in my words.. When i posted those words in the chatroom, i removed my ring from my neck, name in my phonebook had been changed and pic had been detached from her ctc. I'm really tired. It's an obvious sign and there's NOTHING i shld say to her coz it's like there's nothing between us. As if we had never started, so there's no need for an end. No essential for a word called 'break'. Coz we ain't official in the 1st place.. Ya i'm juz a nobody. Not needed at all. I will not contact her again. There's a limit to everything.
Mon her off day and great, no news. Cfm i gave up liao. I dun even bother msg/call her since she dun even bother. 1 and a half day more to taiwan getaway. I really need a break.. Ya a break.. Maybe it's better that way.
19 April, 2009
Stumbled on a blog on a trip reminds me of an incident with a friend.. =.="
The conversation goes like this....
Wah i really need to take a break! I want to go Taiwan!
I also want to go!!
Huh...?
I want!!
=.= Hmmmmm.....
Come on..
Well, i will not book 2 rooms de wor.. *giggle in mischief*
Okie!
Well, i dun like to slp on single bed de wor...
Okie!!
=.="
Though i did not really bring her go but she's kind of naive.. =.=" Same age as me. ZzZzZzZz.. And she's juz a friend to me.. Well, juz one of the few gals that i actually bring to hang out with my group of best friends.. Though only once during ktv session.. My besty knew i will not anyhow bring friend along especially gals lol.. I think so far only a handful.. My ex Shan, friend Celena, friend Dawn, friend Ruyou, friend Xuehui & friend Joy. Well, my this group is the longest group alive coz it consists of only my primary school friends, some with spouse.
But as it goes, smaller and smaller it gets.. One after another getting more and more tired in maintaining the circle.. Celebrating one another bday as time comes.. Meeting up here and there for food or leisure.. Everyone got their own lifestyle and things to do.. Everyone can be busy.. It's juz about whether to put in effort to make things work or not.. It doesn't juz take one hand to clap.. Jiang Shan doesn't build up in a day.. It takes 108 ppl effort to make it happen.. Being a leader is tough i know.. But as a support there's nothing i can do to help her.. Helpless seeing and hearing her crying over bitterness and yet nothing can be done to make the group strong and bond like before.. Age goes up and everything can change as time passes by.. Reality is cruel but yet we still have to stand to face and accept rather than to try to change.. Jocelyn left with her bf.. Now Jinlun with his gf.. With JL not around, Jianhao also not joining.. Only left Jasmine, Wendy, Yuxiang and me.. Jasmine is married and yet she's still do organising for events.. Wendy is soon to ring the bell as well, heard they are looking for flat already.. Yuxiang still same as before.. Having no confidence due to the last incidence.. 5yrs, wat to do.. Me too hectic from my work and quite occupy at times with my game if not occasional pubbing for pools. Yeah i'm still a sucker for pool lol.. Wow that time i actually won 5 rounds in a row! >.<
Anyway, me yx and jas had been toking abt the situation.. Yea it's getting smaller now.. Everyone is like so busy.. As for me, can't blame me due to my work but of coz i do compromise if i really can.. Juz like that time i having PCshow so unable to go for majong at Jas's place... I wonder if that day i were to be there, things wun get that sour and bitter.. Haiz.. Sad.. All good things always come to an end..
1st time she was crying.. The only different is the other one i was there after that though not lending any shoulder but ears whereas this one was only lending ears thru the phone.. The other one i accompanied her till 7am, this one till 2am.. The other one i was single at that time, this one i was attached. Nonetheless, it still pain to see friends in pain.. Their sorrow are my sorrows.. =.=" There's no sorrow without happiness and there's no happiness without sorrow. All are part and parcel of life.. Juz like how living things eventually went on to the afterlife while the remains back to the earth.. Sad.. One door closes, the other opens.. The door opens, the other closes.. Never ending shits. We are really born to suffer aren't we not..? And yet we had to survive everyday juz like how african had to do to suvive.. Tragic as it can be, but that's life..
"Everyone can give up on u, but there's no way u can give up on urself. Juz like me, myself and i. When there's nothing but darkness around, i'm the only one who can bring myself up and be me again.."
That's a phrase that's in my head where no one ever told me the real morale of the "me, myself and i". No one truely understand why they are using it and how it really came from.. Anyway, that's MY LOGIC, which i've never said before. Juz like how a person understand the meaning of "me, myself and i", he/she assumed he/she will simply gets the meaning.. In fact, it's simple in complicated pyschology. U think u know, maybe not. U think u dunno, maybe yes. There's no right or wrong, juz move on coz planet earth doesn't stop juz for anyone..
If July 2009 were to be the last mth i gonna live, i would live as it is while it still last.. I will not fly off to another other safe spot, nor will i run away.. Everything had a start, got an end.. I dun wish for anyone beside on the day of ragnarok nor do yearn for any. I juz wish for eternal serenity. Was it a lie to panic the world? Or was it a prank to pull people's leg? Well, doesn't matter to me.. Even if i live on pass Aug 2009, who knows in 30-40yrs time? Juz come early and end my misery coz living itself is a misery.. But i can't juz end it anyhow.. For my family, for my love, for my dog, for my work, for my colleagues, my customers, for my relatives, for my besty, for my friends. I still have to play my part as Rick, as Weixing, as ahboy..
Some time back had already differenate the two. Both are entirely different. Juz somehow a bit nostalgic here and there.. But that will only brings back melancholy bad memories of my past.. I seek nothing of that since i'm already hitched(for now).. There's no desire at all but a nut that never understood wat felt inside.. =.=" J said i'm still the same as before that cling on the cliff and forever never says die till the day cliff says "please die". Well, that's me in the 1st place..
When he said he love u, the more u cried and hate urself.. I dun understand.....
When he never said "i love u", the more u yearn and wish for it.. I can understand.....
When i said "i love u", she replied "me too", the more uneasy i felt and wish for more.. I dun understand.....
What the hell is wrong among these situations.. Human are indeed unpredictable creatures with so many hell unlogical emotions. =.=" Juz like how i reject, juz u are a nice gal and i'm not ur standard. Any guys will cursed and swore at me for that. But, at that time how i yearn to tell her those actual words that are stucked in the throat.. =.="
Some things always the most beautiful when not being able to obtain.
Becoz of this sentence, the one rather choose the uncle.. Maybe she's right abt it..
All these ain't random but from bottom.. Like i said before, it's not everyone in my phonebook i would simply juz go find them juz to accompany them juz becoz they are sad or happy or lonely. I'm not a 'thing', nor am i an 'item'. If one doesn't hold any 'weight' in me, i rather choose my game or slumber. The 'weight' is not juz any 'weight'..
And btw, i'm not chim... I'm born Aquarius, water of mystery.. So, it's kinda normal.. =)
The conversation goes like this....
Wah i really need to take a break! I want to go Taiwan!
I also want to go!!
Huh...?
I want!!
=.= Hmmmmm.....
Come on..
Well, i will not book 2 rooms de wor.. *giggle in mischief*
Okie!
Well, i dun like to slp on single bed de wor...
Okie!!
=.="
Though i did not really bring her go but she's kind of naive.. =.=" Same age as me. ZzZzZzZz.. And she's juz a friend to me.. Well, juz one of the few gals that i actually bring to hang out with my group of best friends.. Though only once during ktv session.. My besty knew i will not anyhow bring friend along especially gals lol.. I think so far only a handful.. My ex Shan, friend Celena, friend Dawn, friend Ruyou, friend Xuehui & friend Joy. Well, my this group is the longest group alive coz it consists of only my primary school friends, some with spouse.
But as it goes, smaller and smaller it gets.. One after another getting more and more tired in maintaining the circle.. Celebrating one another bday as time comes.. Meeting up here and there for food or leisure.. Everyone got their own lifestyle and things to do.. Everyone can be busy.. It's juz about whether to put in effort to make things work or not.. It doesn't juz take one hand to clap.. Jiang Shan doesn't build up in a day.. It takes 108 ppl effort to make it happen.. Being a leader is tough i know.. But as a support there's nothing i can do to help her.. Helpless seeing and hearing her crying over bitterness and yet nothing can be done to make the group strong and bond like before.. Age goes up and everything can change as time passes by.. Reality is cruel but yet we still have to stand to face and accept rather than to try to change.. Jocelyn left with her bf.. Now Jinlun with his gf.. With JL not around, Jianhao also not joining.. Only left Jasmine, Wendy, Yuxiang and me.. Jasmine is married and yet she's still do organising for events.. Wendy is soon to ring the bell as well, heard they are looking for flat already.. Yuxiang still same as before.. Having no confidence due to the last incidence.. 5yrs, wat to do.. Me too hectic from my work and quite occupy at times with my game if not occasional pubbing for pools. Yeah i'm still a sucker for pool lol.. Wow that time i actually won 5 rounds in a row! >.<
Anyway, me yx and jas had been toking abt the situation.. Yea it's getting smaller now.. Everyone is like so busy.. As for me, can't blame me due to my work but of coz i do compromise if i really can.. Juz like that time i having PCshow so unable to go for majong at Jas's place... I wonder if that day i were to be there, things wun get that sour and bitter.. Haiz.. Sad.. All good things always come to an end..
1st time she was crying.. The only different is the other one i was there after that though not lending any shoulder but ears whereas this one was only lending ears thru the phone.. The other one i accompanied her till 7am, this one till 2am.. The other one i was single at that time, this one i was attached. Nonetheless, it still pain to see friends in pain.. Their sorrow are my sorrows.. =.=" There's no sorrow without happiness and there's no happiness without sorrow. All are part and parcel of life.. Juz like how living things eventually went on to the afterlife while the remains back to the earth.. Sad.. One door closes, the other opens.. The door opens, the other closes.. Never ending shits. We are really born to suffer aren't we not..? And yet we had to survive everyday juz like how african had to do to suvive.. Tragic as it can be, but that's life..
"Everyone can give up on u, but there's no way u can give up on urself. Juz like me, myself and i. When there's nothing but darkness around, i'm the only one who can bring myself up and be me again.."
That's a phrase that's in my head where no one ever told me the real morale of the "me, myself and i". No one truely understand why they are using it and how it really came from.. Anyway, that's MY LOGIC, which i've never said before. Juz like how a person understand the meaning of "me, myself and i", he/she assumed he/she will simply gets the meaning.. In fact, it's simple in complicated pyschology. U think u know, maybe not. U think u dunno, maybe yes. There's no right or wrong, juz move on coz planet earth doesn't stop juz for anyone..
If July 2009 were to be the last mth i gonna live, i would live as it is while it still last.. I will not fly off to another other safe spot, nor will i run away.. Everything had a start, got an end.. I dun wish for anyone beside on the day of ragnarok nor do yearn for any. I juz wish for eternal serenity. Was it a lie to panic the world? Or was it a prank to pull people's leg? Well, doesn't matter to me.. Even if i live on pass Aug 2009, who knows in 30-40yrs time? Juz come early and end my misery coz living itself is a misery.. But i can't juz end it anyhow.. For my family, for my love, for my dog, for my work, for my colleagues, my customers, for my relatives, for my besty, for my friends. I still have to play my part as Rick, as Weixing, as ahboy..
Some time back had already differenate the two. Both are entirely different. Juz somehow a bit nostalgic here and there.. But that will only brings back melancholy bad memories of my past.. I seek nothing of that since i'm already hitched(for now).. There's no desire at all but a nut that never understood wat felt inside.. =.=" J said i'm still the same as before that cling on the cliff and forever never says die till the day cliff says "please die". Well, that's me in the 1st place..
When he said he love u, the more u cried and hate urself.. I dun understand.....
When he never said "i love u", the more u yearn and wish for it.. I can understand.....
When i said "i love u", she replied "me too", the more uneasy i felt and wish for more.. I dun understand.....
What the hell is wrong among these situations.. Human are indeed unpredictable creatures with so many hell unlogical emotions. =.=" Juz like how i reject, juz u are a nice gal and i'm not ur standard. Any guys will cursed and swore at me for that. But, at that time how i yearn to tell her those actual words that are stucked in the throat.. =.="
Some things always the most beautiful when not being able to obtain.
Becoz of this sentence, the one rather choose the uncle.. Maybe she's right abt it..
All these ain't random but from bottom.. Like i said before, it's not everyone in my phonebook i would simply juz go find them juz to accompany them juz becoz they are sad or happy or lonely. I'm not a 'thing', nor am i an 'item'. If one doesn't hold any 'weight' in me, i rather choose my game or slumber. The 'weight' is not juz any 'weight'..
And btw, i'm not chim... I'm born Aquarius, water of mystery.. So, it's kinda normal.. =)
05 April, 2009
真的有点累了。。不知道要怎么说才好。。信任已减低了，疑问也多了。。刚得知是有人每天都会送她去上班，我就感到不自在。就算她说是要给钱的，我还是感到不安。我休假还特意说要送她去上班反而还会被拒绝。。以前上班时还会通电话，难道现在不方便了吗？一两个月见一次面，见面不到三小时，我们这样是快乐的吗？我又不是牛郎阿，干吗要这么痛苦与辛苦呢？花了一千块买了一架手机？还是别人送的？她休息的莫一天我还特地不睡觉，七点的时候打给她连听电话都不听，那么的不方便吗？休息一整天连给电话都没有，有时还关上了电话，玩失踪啊？好让我找不到也摸不清在设么啊？我撞车的时候，睡觉比看我还来的重要。。我看我得检讨一下我自己了。因为我觉得我真的不重要了。。已经不需要我了。。有我与没有我已经没有分别了。。以前每天都想见面，现在已经变得无所谓了吧？痛。。。还记得有一次和她去喝酒还说过后我们去别边，最后说要回家了。。但是呢，结果说自己一个人在咖啡店喝酒。。还说喝到很晚。。还是在等人放工..？我有太多太多的疑问了。。她每次有问题或是不开心的时候都不会跟我说。她说过，不想跟我说是因为不想让我担心。不跟我说难道跟‘他’说啊？不跟‘他’说难道还有另一个人吗？连这种事都不跟我说的话，那我算设么？我根本就一点都不被需要。那我还在这干嘛？
坦白说，我已看不清未来了。。你到底在想设么？可以告诉我吗？我真的很想知道你的全部。
可能是我想太多了吧。可能是我要求太多了吧。如果我根本都不爱你，我干吗浪费我的时间和精神呢？是不需要我的爱了吗？是不需要我这个人的存在了吗？我一点都不重要了吗？
我看我需要一些时间冷静吧.....我每天听到这首歌的歌词，我都很痛..里面就像是在流着血。。心如刀割。。
坦白说，我已看不清未来了。。你到底在想设么？可以告诉我吗？我真的很想知道你的全部。
可能是我想太多了吧。可能是我要求太多了吧。如果我根本都不爱你，我干吗浪费我的时间和精神呢？是不需要我的爱了吗？是不需要我这个人的存在了吗？我一点都不重要了吗？
我看我需要一些时间冷静吧.....我每天听到这首歌的歌词，我都很痛..里面就像是在流着血。。心如刀割。。
爱是这辈子的坟
一个人好孤独, 反正你也不在乎
我该如何你才能感到满足
你走的时候我用沉默代替挽留
是你对爱不认真,还是我没天分
他的唇更适合你想象的那个吻
冰冷的理由摧毁我的身
但看到你幸福眼神,我的泪不再冷
亲爱的能不能最后给我一个吻
能让我死后带走这余温
你说我不要再天真,
那是不可能我们没缘分
一个人好孤独,反正你也不在乎
我该如何你才能感到满足
你走的时候我用沉默代替挽留
是你对爱不认真,还是我没天分
他的唇更适合你想象的那个吻
冰冷的理由摧毁我的身
但看到你幸福眼神,我的泪不再冷
亲爱的能不能最后给我一个吻
能让我死后带走这余温
你说我不要再天真,那是不可能
我们没缘分
他的唇更适合你想象的那个吻
冰冷的理由摧毁我的身
但看到你幸福眼神,我的泪不再冷
亲爱的能不能最后给我一个吻
能让我死后带走这余温
你说我不要再天真,那是不可能
我们没缘分
爱是这辈子的坟
爱是这辈子的坟
03 April, 2009
Juz jail-break my iphone.. hack till 5am yest nite.. =.=" shag out lol.. Finally able to change the theme liao.. Now the next thing will be wanting to be able to forward sms which iphone cannot do.. ZzZzZzZzZz... Unable to find a free version.. lolx.. Realised something when i switched from pixon to iphone.. I lost 5 contacts.. Dawn, Dawn's home, Jessie, Darling, Darling home. =.=" Coz that time these 5 got pic profile so ctc were moved to phone from sim.. =.=" Then deleted all when selling off my pixon.. But lucky some numbers were in my brain. Sweat. Lolx.. I dun rmb house numbers.. =.="
Lately been tempted to keep going pub.. Maybe i shld learn from richard.. Go ktv alone with some beer.. Anyway, there's quite a few nearby my house.. Not being emo juz wanna sing and relax.. That shld be one of a few ways to enjoy life i guess..
Been looking at areas for new home and looking at loans for HDB.. Though still got 23mths but very soon de lor.. Still whether to get hitched or together with mummy's name to get house still a mystery.. Been quite a while since i had my own private dimension liao.. Had been a decade since i moved outta Jurong.. I only scared later too happening nia when i get my new home.. =.=" Anyway, job doesn't seems stable when i sees so many ppl clinging strong to their job despite the pay-cut and comm-cut.. No places are truely stable even if it's of my own.. Haiz..
There's no such thing as definite.
There's no such thing as confirm.
There's no such thing as trust.
There's no such thing as friendship.
There's no such thing as companionship.
There's no such thing as true love.
The whole world is fake!
Lolx i'm juz being random.. Well, i'm still attached. One yr one mth and still counting.. Knn dawn still like so surprised that we lasted so long already.. Shld be i'm the one saying that sentence to her lor.. But she claimed that she had changed le.. No longer the old dawn that i knew.. 江山易改，本性难移。Though i kept having that thot but she still holding strong.. And still wishes the best for me.. Haiz. Dun go against the will of nature.. Let nature takes its own course bah..
Cb fatty say i flop ever since i rode back my bike. =.=" Wah lao lazy to style lah.. Lolx.. At least i keep it short and not messy lor.. ZzZzZzZz.. Anyway, not as if i'm going to style to pian some xiaomeimei ah.. Lolx..
That day went Whiskey with ken, steven, chua, qiang and ken's wife. The day after QB session with brandon, brandon's wife, jessie, kelvin toh, jason and zhiwei. Both days also xiong.. Coz QB with denki ended at 1am but i super high, if that day continues onwards i'm in the mood lor.. When i'm in the mood, i'm a fun guy lolx.. That's how i got my 'NEMO' nick i think.. Lolx.. Whiskey with courts also jialat, all the way till pub closes and eat prata before home.. =.=" Think with Amy got chance.. Well in fact there's nothing good abt her, i juz like her lips.. Lolx perv! But really lah.. They are small and look tasty. LMAO!!
Both days also got a single person gave me a little gf feeling made me uneasy.. Coz mon is her off day and she din contact me.. Wed went down geylang to try to peep her and went wrong coffeeshop and saw the western store is closed then reached home called her and her phone is off.. Whole body warm up.. Long time no such feeling liao.. Almost had a thirst for alchohol.. Called abt 5 times.. After an hr tried again then got thru.. =.=" Her phone batt emptied. Had a nice chat and the cloud is cleared.. ^.^ I'm really hard to please de.. Haiz.. Uncertain and doubt will kill it as time goes on like that.. And she knew i was uncomfortable abt not being able to reach her.. She starting to lose it liao.. When i'm really gone, i'm gonna be gone for good...
Called Cyndi once when i'm at QB with denki.. Her mum picked up. =.=" Asked me who am i and where her daughter is working at. =.=" Lucky i'm quick to react and told her at parkway, shopping centre. =.=" Wat a big liar i am.. Lolx.. But bo bian lah, wan to get ppl's mother worried meh..? Sigh.. Then the next day spoke to Cyndi and we had a good laugh, with her mum of coz.. Her mum thot i'm her bf sia. wtf.. Then she also jialat one.. Act like one, in front of her mum.. Like asking me to bring her go see doc coz she sick.. Asking me whether wan to go visit her after work coz she's sick and will be at home.. Then ask if i'm gonna ta bao supper for her family. =.=" Then several questions shot me. Do i really look/sound like i'm interested in her? ZzZzZzZzZzZz..
In fact, i would treat almost every single gal the same way as i would treat my gal, except tat i would treat my gal much much better.. Occasionally for some close ones i will also go to the extend to give them the 'warm' needed.. And also, i shall repeat myself again though already said thousand times.. Me and Dawn are clean. There's nothing between except for the fact that we are really close last time juz like how me with celena, me with jasmine, me with carisa, me with vina, me with huiwen, me with connie, me with xuehui.
From keith, there's no best friends between a man and woman, normally it's either rejection then both become close to each other despite having no relation, purely as friends..
Every chapter had a story behind them. Anyway, there's nothing to hide. And btw, i'm not always the one who got rejected except by......... Hmmmm.. At first i did put name but i think it will not be right.. Lolx.. But ppl who are close to me can easily let me fly to their side whenever i hear sign of neccessary.. If again dawn needed someone to tok to her till daylight under her block, i would.. If any of the mentioned said that, i will be there too.. Even though i had to work for the roadshow or pcshow.. roadshows/pcshows can flop but i only have one individual unique friend that is non-replaceable..
If she wanted me to pick her up everyday 5am and send her home, i would.. Even if i were to die of exhaustion, i will grasp my last breath for her but not for my friends not even close friends..
If u really love the stars, even though i cannot get the stars but at least i would bring down the moon for u..
I once said those to someone of a 'friend'. If she still rmb abt the moon.. I believe she do, though quiet as always.. Always hiding in the back supporting me silently, till forever.. Forever i will rmb u too and silently too..
Lately been tempted to keep going pub.. Maybe i shld learn from richard.. Go ktv alone with some beer.. Anyway, there's quite a few nearby my house.. Not being emo juz wanna sing and relax.. That shld be one of a few ways to enjoy life i guess..
Been looking at areas for new home and looking at loans for HDB.. Though still got 23mths but very soon de lor.. Still whether to get hitched or together with mummy's name to get house still a mystery.. Been quite a while since i had my own private dimension liao.. Had been a decade since i moved outta Jurong.. I only scared later too happening nia when i get my new home.. =.=" Anyway, job doesn't seems stable when i sees so many ppl clinging strong to their job despite the pay-cut and comm-cut.. No places are truely stable even if it's of my own.. Haiz..
There's no such thing as definite.
There's no such thing as confirm.
There's no such thing as trust.
There's no such thing as friendship.
There's no such thing as companionship.
There's no such thing as true love.
The whole world is fake!
Lolx i'm juz being random.. Well, i'm still attached. One yr one mth and still counting.. Knn dawn still like so surprised that we lasted so long already.. Shld be i'm the one saying that sentence to her lor.. But she claimed that she had changed le.. No longer the old dawn that i knew.. 江山易改，本性难移。Though i kept having that thot but she still holding strong.. And still wishes the best for me.. Haiz. Dun go against the will of nature.. Let nature takes its own course bah..
Cb fatty say i flop ever since i rode back my bike. =.=" Wah lao lazy to style lah.. Lolx.. At least i keep it short and not messy lor.. ZzZzZzZz.. Anyway, not as if i'm going to style to pian some xiaomeimei ah.. Lolx..
That day went Whiskey with ken, steven, chua, qiang and ken's wife. The day after QB session with brandon, brandon's wife, jessie, kelvin toh, jason and zhiwei. Both days also xiong.. Coz QB with denki ended at 1am but i super high, if that day continues onwards i'm in the mood lor.. When i'm in the mood, i'm a fun guy lolx.. That's how i got my 'NEMO' nick i think.. Lolx.. Whiskey with courts also jialat, all the way till pub closes and eat prata before home.. =.=" Think with Amy got chance.. Well in fact there's nothing good abt her, i juz like her lips.. Lolx perv! But really lah.. They are small and look tasty. LMAO!!
Both days also got a single person gave me a little gf feeling made me uneasy.. Coz mon is her off day and she din contact me.. Wed went down geylang to try to peep her and went wrong coffeeshop and saw the western store is closed then reached home called her and her phone is off.. Whole body warm up.. Long time no such feeling liao.. Almost had a thirst for alchohol.. Called abt 5 times.. After an hr tried again then got thru.. =.=" Her phone batt emptied. Had a nice chat and the cloud is cleared.. ^.^ I'm really hard to please de.. Haiz.. Uncertain and doubt will kill it as time goes on like that.. And she knew i was uncomfortable abt not being able to reach her.. She starting to lose it liao.. When i'm really gone, i'm gonna be gone for good...
Called Cyndi once when i'm at QB with denki.. Her mum picked up. =.=" Asked me who am i and where her daughter is working at. =.=" Lucky i'm quick to react and told her at parkway, shopping centre. =.=" Wat a big liar i am.. Lolx.. But bo bian lah, wan to get ppl's mother worried meh..? Sigh.. Then the next day spoke to Cyndi and we had a good laugh, with her mum of coz.. Her mum thot i'm her bf sia. wtf.. Then she also jialat one.. Act like one, in front of her mum.. Like asking me to bring her go see doc coz she sick.. Asking me whether wan to go visit her after work coz she's sick and will be at home.. Then ask if i'm gonna ta bao supper for her family. =.=" Then several questions shot me. Do i really look/sound like i'm interested in her? ZzZzZzZzZzZz..
In fact, i would treat almost every single gal the same way as i would treat my gal, except tat i would treat my gal much much better.. Occasionally for some close ones i will also go to the extend to give them the 'warm' needed.. And also, i shall repeat myself again though already said thousand times.. Me and Dawn are clean. There's nothing between except for the fact that we are really close last time juz like how me with celena, me with jasmine, me with carisa, me with vina, me with huiwen, me with connie, me with xuehui.
From keith, there's no best friends between a man and woman, normally it's either rejection then both become close to each other despite having no relation, purely as friends..
Every chapter had a story behind them. Anyway, there's nothing to hide. And btw, i'm not always the one who got rejected except by......... Hmmmm.. At first i did put name but i think it will not be right.. Lolx.. But ppl who are close to me can easily let me fly to their side whenever i hear sign of neccessary.. If again dawn needed someone to tok to her till daylight under her block, i would.. If any of the mentioned said that, i will be there too.. Even though i had to work for the roadshow or pcshow.. roadshows/pcshows can flop but i only have one individual unique friend that is non-replaceable..
If she wanted me to pick her up everyday 5am and send her home, i would.. Even if i were to die of exhaustion, i will grasp my last breath for her but not for my friends not even close friends..
If u really love the stars, even though i cannot get the stars but at least i would bring down the moon for u..
I once said those to someone of a 'friend'. If she still rmb abt the moon.. I believe she do, though quiet as always.. Always hiding in the back supporting me silently, till forever.. Forever i will rmb u too and silently too..
25 March, 2009
JANUARY
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.
Found these when i stumbled Dessy's blog.. =.="
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.
Found these when i stumbled Dessy's blog.. =.="
Never gana poke, u will never know the pain. So what u dun have friends anymore? So what i got so many friends? If 2yrs ago i did not lost my hp, u think my contacts got so little only 400+? It's a fact lor. Got so many for wat? Useless wat.. Juz like that kind of friend u had there. Got one like that already headache liao then u still wan many many? Juz live life lah. I can be shui bian too and can have tons of friends but got use meh? Maybe next time got use for them lah but who knows?
When i told him my past, he was shocked. Earning so little while i earn so much but never he imagine i'm so poor last time. Candles, darkness, coldness, houseless, dirtyness. None of the situations he had ever experienced. Then cham what cham? Very jialat meh? When i 1st started work i drink tap water and eat white bread, u can meh? When i 1st started work i smoked paper, u dare to smoke that in public? When i 1st started work, eating one meal a day with one big bottle plain water tahan a wk, maybe this one u can. Every mth end facing vitamin M and every home also get vit M from u, u can tahan? Somemore that time only getting like 1k flat back home nia. Also can survive ah. So wat i earn more now? So wat i dun need to pay anything at mth end? So wat i dun have liabilities? It's how u look at life mah. The more farkup u think u are in, then the more farkup ur situation is lor.. Nowadays kids are too good life. Never slept the streets before. Never slept the bridges before. Never slept near the sea before. Never really gets the bitterness that i had once went thru. CB when i was in that state when i was 6yrs old, u are still drinking milk lor. Never had anyone been more jialat state that i ever been thru..
So conclusion, ditch that friend of urs. He's not even fit to a called a 'friend', more like a fiend to me. 1st time steal ur gf. 2nd time steal ur hp. What's next? If juz now that one is me, i'm afraid his head already kissed my glass bottle liao.
Been emo lately also. Dun really wanna tok abt it.. Whenever tok to her in msn, made me tear down my mask.. Forever putting up a strong front whenever msn chat her but forever tear down thereafter.. It's not that i dun wanna try.. Juz maybe i'm really tired.. Even got the heart also dun have the strength.. Dun bother introducing gals to me, really.. I'm really a bad guy, not worth hurting ur friends.. I know u knew i wouldn't.. But i juz dun wan.. I really dun care.. I know how much u wanted to pull me outta the pit.. But please, dun get pull down by me.. I may be once ur buoy but i juz dun wan to see u as a buoy now.. How come i sound so much like 'her' and how come i realised my plannings are juz like 'her'..? =.=" Anyway, nvm.. Juz let me hide and put up my mask a little longer.. Maybe after this yr the end is really near.. Somemore i still got two more pending holidays cfm liao.. Thailand and Taiwan.. Both i'm so looking forward to them..
Mon when i'm returning from sls after getting my comp fixed and when i'm inside the taxi passing by Riverfront, how i wish i'm outta town and no need to think so much abt anything.. Be it work, rs, money or friends.. It's really deep and stubbornly i juz dun wanna climb up.. Juz let me be for the time being.. The more u forced me, the longer i shall be in and the more i fight back and hide..
Now i understand.. So many gals yet so empty.. Soul-less soul back again.. Maybe it's juz gonna be me, myself and i.. Anyway, the plan to get married in two yrs time is still on.. Well, i'm not supposed to say this but i juz can't hide when i'm facing this blog.. Maybe i shld del this and made one that's only in my own comp where no one sees unless i died.. Sad..
Anyway, thanks dawn for ur time in msn juz now.. U are still the best.. Dunno why dunno how, i always manage to reveal myself a little to u and u always manage to catch it and tear it all down.. Despite my fightback and u continue to grumble non-stop trying to hit those words into my brain and try to pull me out of that hole.. Haiz.. It's my bad.. Anyway, really appreciate it.. *hugz*
When i told him my past, he was shocked. Earning so little while i earn so much but never he imagine i'm so poor last time. Candles, darkness, coldness, houseless, dirtyness. None of the situations he had ever experienced. Then cham what cham? Very jialat meh? When i 1st started work i drink tap water and eat white bread, u can meh? When i 1st started work i smoked paper, u dare to smoke that in public? When i 1st started work, eating one meal a day with one big bottle plain water tahan a wk, maybe this one u can. Every mth end facing vitamin M and every home also get vit M from u, u can tahan? Somemore that time only getting like 1k flat back home nia. Also can survive ah. So wat i earn more now? So wat i dun need to pay anything at mth end? So wat i dun have liabilities? It's how u look at life mah. The more farkup u think u are in, then the more farkup ur situation is lor.. Nowadays kids are too good life. Never slept the streets before. Never slept the bridges before. Never slept near the sea before. Never really gets the bitterness that i had once went thru. CB when i was in that state when i was 6yrs old, u are still drinking milk lor. Never had anyone been more jialat state that i ever been thru..
So conclusion, ditch that friend of urs. He's not even fit to a called a 'friend', more like a fiend to me. 1st time steal ur gf. 2nd time steal ur hp. What's next? If juz now that one is me, i'm afraid his head already kissed my glass bottle liao.
Been emo lately also. Dun really wanna tok abt it.. Whenever tok to her in msn, made me tear down my mask.. Forever putting up a strong front whenever msn chat her but forever tear down thereafter.. It's not that i dun wanna try.. Juz maybe i'm really tired.. Even got the heart also dun have the strength.. Dun bother introducing gals to me, really.. I'm really a bad guy, not worth hurting ur friends.. I know u knew i wouldn't.. But i juz dun wan.. I really dun care.. I know how much u wanted to pull me outta the pit.. But please, dun get pull down by me.. I may be once ur buoy but i juz dun wan to see u as a buoy now.. How come i sound so much like 'her' and how come i realised my plannings are juz like 'her'..? =.=" Anyway, nvm.. Juz let me hide and put up my mask a little longer.. Maybe after this yr the end is really near.. Somemore i still got two more pending holidays cfm liao.. Thailand and Taiwan.. Both i'm so looking forward to them..
Mon when i'm returning from sls after getting my comp fixed and when i'm inside the taxi passing by Riverfront, how i wish i'm outta town and no need to think so much abt anything.. Be it work, rs, money or friends.. It's really deep and stubbornly i juz dun wanna climb up.. Juz let me be for the time being.. The more u forced me, the longer i shall be in and the more i fight back and hide..
Now i understand.. So many gals yet so empty.. Soul-less soul back again.. Maybe it's juz gonna be me, myself and i.. Anyway, the plan to get married in two yrs time is still on.. Well, i'm not supposed to say this but i juz can't hide when i'm facing this blog.. Maybe i shld del this and made one that's only in my own comp where no one sees unless i died.. Sad..
Anyway, thanks dawn for ur time in msn juz now.. U are still the best.. Dunno why dunno how, i always manage to reveal myself a little to u and u always manage to catch it and tear it all down.. Despite my fightback and u continue to grumble non-stop trying to hit those words into my brain and try to pull me out of that hole.. Haiz.. It's my bad.. Anyway, really appreciate it.. *hugz*
23 March, 2009
Pixon sold at $380 to fellow lenovo colleague. At 1st he bid $280 only and singtel wanna eat at $300.. Actually looking at $400 lor.. Only 1 mth old but aiya for him only, deal. Left with the itouch nia.. Dunno to release or not to release.. Really no use for that liao... Usage lesser and lesser.. =.=" Highest fetched so far only $400 while i'm looking at $450.. One week only drop 100, pain lor... Nv drop before, haven't reg warranty also.. Charged less than 3times... Sigh..
Well, jason got it rite. I'm not in need of money at all.. Juz that i seriously no need all those liao.. Why waste and let the value drop? Juz like my bike now, swee swee liao and i can fetch much higher price than before but i still not selling yet.. Tats becoz i got a need for it mah.. Somemore it's cheaper than getting a 2A bike and my installment finishing liao in abt half a yr or so.. By then i only need to pay 2T oil and petrol and parking money only.. I dun get summons de... Oops! =X Only tio illegal parking then gana.. Lolx me safety rider leh...
Sell itouch and pixon can cover my cover for Iphone 3G liao. Why not? Anyway, bring so many things for wat? My bean bag getting more and more full lor.. =.=" Heavy leh.. ZzZzZzZz.. Anyway, my mio coming on the 31st and iphone on 25th. Slowpoke sia they all.. =.=" Then after that will go cut off my starhub internet. Wee...
Tml's her off day so i off also. ^^ But yest chatted on the phone and she said maybe unable to meet liao.. Lolx.. Though looking forward to it but always be prepared for the worst. =) Anyway, if really meeting i guess later early in the morning she will call me bah.. Then we shall for go breakfast together. ^^ Long time no tongbang a gal liao.. Lolx.. Anyway, even if not meeting also nv mind.. Coz will be heading over to sim lim to get my comp fixed. Then maybe find ppl out la liang lor.. If not will go vivo disturb.. lolx.. Need to bathe my bike tml.. >.<
Ok going to prepare liao coz going boatquay for a while.. Meeting dell. He say he emo, need a drink.. =.=" Lucky i finish report liao.. This wk very little so easy to do but bad news lah.. Lolx.. Coz meaning lesser comm. Sigh..
Well, jason got it rite. I'm not in need of money at all.. Juz that i seriously no need all those liao.. Why waste and let the value drop? Juz like my bike now, swee swee liao and i can fetch much higher price than before but i still not selling yet.. Tats becoz i got a need for it mah.. Somemore it's cheaper than getting a 2A bike and my installment finishing liao in abt half a yr or so.. By then i only need to pay 2T oil and petrol and parking money only.. I dun get summons de... Oops! =X Only tio illegal parking then gana.. Lolx me safety rider leh...
Sell itouch and pixon can cover my cover for Iphone 3G liao. Why not? Anyway, bring so many things for wat? My bean bag getting more and more full lor.. =.=" Heavy leh.. ZzZzZzZz.. Anyway, my mio coming on the 31st and iphone on 25th. Slowpoke sia they all.. =.=" Then after that will go cut off my starhub internet. Wee...
Tml's her off day so i off also. ^^ But yest chatted on the phone and she said maybe unable to meet liao.. Lolx.. Though looking forward to it but always be prepared for the worst. =) Anyway, if really meeting i guess later early in the morning she will call me bah.. Then we shall for go breakfast together. ^^ Long time no tongbang a gal liao.. Lolx.. Anyway, even if not meeting also nv mind.. Coz will be heading over to sim lim to get my comp fixed. Then maybe find ppl out la liang lor.. If not will go vivo disturb.. lolx.. Need to bathe my bike tml.. >.<
Ok going to prepare liao coz going boatquay for a while.. Meeting dell. He say he emo, need a drink.. =.=" Lucky i finish report liao.. This wk very little so easy to do but bad news lah.. Lolx.. Coz meaning lesser comm. Sigh..
22 March, 2009
Sold my Compaq Presario since i'm not using it at all when sis return it to me as she's got her mac liao.. Sold my fat psp since i'm like not been touching it for eons.. Sold my dopod phone since i'm so lazy to even bring it out.. Maybe selling off my pixon and itouch also.. Wah lao me so waste of money.. Now using Nokia 6121 now my sis fone as she using LG viewty..
Computer broke down, think mainboard spoilt.. Less than one mth.. =.=" Think if can will change another board.. get a more highend one.. =.=" Lucky still got my hp mini note..
Me and her getting along better lately.. Dunno how, the chemistry seems to be back.. So that is to say we will experience cold wars once a mth? lol... Last time even her time of mth also no like that de.. Anyway, really got change liao.. At least for now still secure. =) Xiaoqiang said she's pretty when he saw her pic. Lolx.. To him every gals also pretty lah.. But when he saw one of the pic that i took with jessie at nana, he was shocked to see how possible am i with such a chiobu! lolx.. Well yea, she look really stunning that day. Tat's the day of the raining day when i accompany her till her 'driver' came to pick her up..
Suddenly gotten a 'i miss u' from her. =.=" Really made me unable to work properly that day after lor.. Lolx she really is like dawn lor.. Will always make me wanna dote on her.. Well, which gals dun like to be pampered.. Haha.. But someone said she expensive leh.. Lolx...
Computer broke down, think mainboard spoilt.. Less than one mth.. =.=" Think if can will change another board.. get a more highend one.. =.=" Lucky still got my hp mini note..
Me and her getting along better lately.. Dunno how, the chemistry seems to be back.. So that is to say we will experience cold wars once a mth? lol... Last time even her time of mth also no like that de.. Anyway, really got change liao.. At least for now still secure. =) Xiaoqiang said she's pretty when he saw her pic. Lolx.. To him every gals also pretty lah.. But when he saw one of the pic that i took with jessie at nana, he was shocked to see how possible am i with such a chiobu! lolx.. Well yea, she look really stunning that day. Tat's the day of the raining day when i accompany her till her 'driver' came to pick her up..
Suddenly gotten a 'i miss u' from her. =.=" Really made me unable to work properly that day after lor.. Lolx she really is like dawn lor.. Will always make me wanna dote on her.. Well, which gals dun like to be pampered.. Haha.. But someone said she expensive leh.. Lolx...
18 March, 2009
"You wan to sian this ah lian ah..?"
"Sian her? I as well go for jessie.."
"Huh?! That one high maintenance lor....."
Guess who am i toking to? Lolx... Absolutely not jason though. =P
Shag out from pc show. As expected to be over.. Non-stop daily upgrading of rams and opening invoices and changing of systems.. Chaotic lor.. Sell until no stock also dunno.. Then today got fark by supervisor for doing something wrong.. =.=" Din know it made a different.. But if were to give what show is offering, ain't that gonna another minus sign to that sale? Cheaper by $100 and no warranty and so many free gifts.. If overall sales got gp then of coz direct refer liao lor.. Sigh.. Anyway, it's over and of coz same mistake cannot happened twice..
Knn that fatty no reply. Such an obvious hint lor knn. Can i hold back his pay as revenge? I believe i'm capable of doing that. Pay nia mah, dun take lor. Anyway give him pay also left with nothing, hold him back half a mth force him to tahan longer. Two more days grant.
So many pics in my fone but so lazy to upload.. lolx.. Think few more days will do it bah.. Today work until i wan to slp liao.. Desktops only left display sets and laptops also not much.. Still not to sure wat can sell wat cannot sell.. Sian. I hate this kind of life. Half-hearted selling. Later i sell then no stock tio fark again. =.=" Getting tired of these kind of life liao..
Since when did i become a touchsmart king. Wtf lor i only sold a few sets nia.. =.=" 1st time working with HP colleagues.. Feeling not bad but dun have the cooperation, the teamwork not strong enuff lor.. Unable to feel the heat to get me on fire to sell non-stop.. Only manage to get a little of adrenline in my vein.. Not shiok enuff..
Gotten myself a itouch and help my sis to IPP a macbook. >.< Really regret in getting that ipod.. Shld have gotten iphone instead.. Upon using the net access and using the screen and feeling the speed of itouch, straightaway feel like throwing away my pixon.. =.=" The scrolling is total junk as compared to itouch.. Imagine using iphone.. The only thing i dun like is the keyboard.. My fingers are still a bit too big for it.. Anyway, it rox.
Been trying to get my compaq and hp to run leopard on them.. Unable to get them to work yet.. Short of patching or something i guess.. Sigh.. Excited in getting them to turn into mac..
Bike finally back but the block seems to be faulty liao.. Think need to go service the block.. Dangerous if dun do it.. Tml morning meeting yx for breakfast then go do liao.. Richard and Adam said my bike is finally something presentable as compared to the old yellow.. Much better than before liao.. More beautiful of coz.. But still, urge me to hurry to change to S4.. =.=" Wasting my 2A like that. Lolx.. I also wish.. But i dun wan too much of a liability mah.. Even my starhub i also wan to cut liao.. Getting singnet coz it's cheaper.. Everything need to cut cost le..
We are granted final 2 yrs.. Really forcing us to move out liao.. Sigh.. 2yrs neither short nor long.. Planning ahead liao, did told yx abt my plannings. Settling down and getting my own house in 2yrs time cfm.. Be it whoever it may be lah. The plan muz be abide.. Some decisions are different or rather it's crucial when age gets on.. Time doesn't turn back for anyone.. Everything is racing against time.. I dun wanna start buying a flat when i'm 40 then only can take 15yrs loan which gonna be freaking xiong.. At least having a choice, why not? The future can be achieved, juz a matter of planning and time and effort.. Afterall, it still takes two hands to clap.. Can anyone teach me how to clap with one? I dun mean slap.
Surprisingly that Cyndi said she drive.. Lolx.. This xiao ah lian not jian dan wor.. She's "cunning" from wat i feel.. She's not easy lor.. Even with 'hit-and-run' tactic might not work on her.. Though that's not my actual planning lah.. Juz being random. But anyway, she's good in doing sales. =.=" Got closed once liao. ZzZzZzZzZz..
Jessie sent me the taiwan webby lol.. I really wan to go.. >.< Probably booking for Oct trip shld be good.. Weather is good from Nov though according to jason. =.=" Remind me of genting.. Purr like a kitty but shiok! Haha.. At least dun go during winter ok liao.. Liang liang one can go la liang.. Lolx..
Tired.. Forever like not enuff slp.. I wonder how my lovely can tahan that job. Still praying for her to quit that job or got sacked.. =X Yes i'm bad but it's for her own good lor. =.=" There so complicated and somemore it's bad for health to work nightlife and i dun like it at all.. If going to chiong nightlife comparing to working nightlife is entirely different lor.. Juz like how i dun wan dawn to go work pub that time, not even for once.. Nightlife is to be enjoyed not worked thru-out.. Even though i were to open a shop there, i wun be so stupid to stay there all the way until shop closes for the day lor. Work smart not work hard. I may not be a good follower, but that doesn't mean i'm not a good leader. =.=" If at the show there each full-timer were to have 2 part-timer and work as a team, i dun believe my team will lose to anyone. I may not be as good as some, but i will not lose to those majorities..
One person can close one deal, ten can close ten. Multipliers dominate. Knn how come i sound like MLM. =.=" Well, actually that's one of the fastest selling ability that one can imagine.. Afterall i'm in that darkness of despair before where everything almost gone, friends & relatives. Imagine everyone treating u like a ghost.. Still got one can come and call me ghost when he himself is in no comparison as compared to me as of now. =.=" Laughing while he himself is the laughing stock but too bad he himself also dunno he is a clown. Sad. Still look like a wuss to me since dunno when. Pussy.
"Sian her? I as well go for jessie.."
"Huh?! That one high maintenance lor....."
Guess who am i toking to? Lolx... Absolutely not jason though. =P
Shag out from pc show. As expected to be over.. Non-stop daily upgrading of rams and opening invoices and changing of systems.. Chaotic lor.. Sell until no stock also dunno.. Then today got fark by supervisor for doing something wrong.. =.=" Din know it made a different.. But if were to give what show is offering, ain't that gonna another minus sign to that sale? Cheaper by $100 and no warranty and so many free gifts.. If overall sales got gp then of coz direct refer liao lor.. Sigh.. Anyway, it's over and of coz same mistake cannot happened twice..
Knn that fatty no reply. Such an obvious hint lor knn. Can i hold back his pay as revenge? I believe i'm capable of doing that. Pay nia mah, dun take lor. Anyway give him pay also left with nothing, hold him back half a mth force him to tahan longer. Two more days grant.
So many pics in my fone but so lazy to upload.. lolx.. Think few more days will do it bah.. Today work until i wan to slp liao.. Desktops only left display sets and laptops also not much.. Still not to sure wat can sell wat cannot sell.. Sian. I hate this kind of life. Half-hearted selling. Later i sell then no stock tio fark again. =.=" Getting tired of these kind of life liao..
Since when did i become a touchsmart king. Wtf lor i only sold a few sets nia.. =.=" 1st time working with HP colleagues.. Feeling not bad but dun have the cooperation, the teamwork not strong enuff lor.. Unable to feel the heat to get me on fire to sell non-stop.. Only manage to get a little of adrenline in my vein.. Not shiok enuff..
Gotten myself a itouch and help my sis to IPP a macbook. >.< Really regret in getting that ipod.. Shld have gotten iphone instead.. Upon using the net access and using the screen and feeling the speed of itouch, straightaway feel like throwing away my pixon.. =.=" The scrolling is total junk as compared to itouch.. Imagine using iphone.. The only thing i dun like is the keyboard.. My fingers are still a bit too big for it.. Anyway, it rox.
Been trying to get my compaq and hp to run leopard on them.. Unable to get them to work yet.. Short of patching or something i guess.. Sigh.. Excited in getting them to turn into mac..
Bike finally back but the block seems to be faulty liao.. Think need to go service the block.. Dangerous if dun do it.. Tml morning meeting yx for breakfast then go do liao.. Richard and Adam said my bike is finally something presentable as compared to the old yellow.. Much better than before liao.. More beautiful of coz.. But still, urge me to hurry to change to S4.. =.=" Wasting my 2A like that. Lolx.. I also wish.. But i dun wan too much of a liability mah.. Even my starhub i also wan to cut liao.. Getting singnet coz it's cheaper.. Everything need to cut cost le..
We are granted final 2 yrs.. Really forcing us to move out liao.. Sigh.. 2yrs neither short nor long.. Planning ahead liao, did told yx abt my plannings. Settling down and getting my own house in 2yrs time cfm.. Be it whoever it may be lah. The plan muz be abide.. Some decisions are different or rather it's crucial when age gets on.. Time doesn't turn back for anyone.. Everything is racing against time.. I dun wanna start buying a flat when i'm 40 then only can take 15yrs loan which gonna be freaking xiong.. At least having a choice, why not? The future can be achieved, juz a matter of planning and time and effort.. Afterall, it still takes two hands to clap.. Can anyone teach me how to clap with one? I dun mean slap.
Surprisingly that Cyndi said she drive.. Lolx.. This xiao ah lian not jian dan wor.. She's "cunning" from wat i feel.. She's not easy lor.. Even with 'hit-and-run' tactic might not work on her.. Though that's not my actual planning lah.. Juz being random. But anyway, she's good in doing sales. =.=" Got closed once liao. ZzZzZzZzZz..
Jessie sent me the taiwan webby lol.. I really wan to go.. >.< Probably booking for Oct trip shld be good.. Weather is good from Nov though according to jason. =.=" Remind me of genting.. Purr like a kitty but shiok! Haha.. At least dun go during winter ok liao.. Liang liang one can go la liang.. Lolx..
Tired.. Forever like not enuff slp.. I wonder how my lovely can tahan that job. Still praying for her to quit that job or got sacked.. =X Yes i'm bad but it's for her own good lor. =.=" There so complicated and somemore it's bad for health to work nightlife and i dun like it at all.. If going to chiong nightlife comparing to working nightlife is entirely different lor.. Juz like how i dun wan dawn to go work pub that time, not even for once.. Nightlife is to be enjoyed not worked thru-out.. Even though i were to open a shop there, i wun be so stupid to stay there all the way until shop closes for the day lor. Work smart not work hard. I may not be a good follower, but that doesn't mean i'm not a good leader. =.=" If at the show there each full-timer were to have 2 part-timer and work as a team, i dun believe my team will lose to anyone. I may not be as good as some, but i will not lose to those majorities..
One person can close one deal, ten can close ten. Multipliers dominate. Knn how come i sound like MLM. =.=" Well, actually that's one of the fastest selling ability that one can imagine.. Afterall i'm in that darkness of despair before where everything almost gone, friends & relatives. Imagine everyone treating u like a ghost.. Still got one can come and call me ghost when he himself is in no comparison as compared to me as of now. =.=" Laughing while he himself is the laughing stock but too bad he himself also dunno he is a clown. Sad. Still look like a wuss to me since dunno when. Pussy.
11 March, 2009
When i had stopped all my urges, she called and sounded so gentle like she used to be.. Like asking me how come so many days din call her, instead of questioning me why i din call. Already took wed as my off day which WAS her usual off day, but today she told me she off on monday. Reached home 6am then used com all the way till 8pm then too late and tired to go out.. Still mentioned intend to go out to buy my watch, my supposed to be x'mas present or was that a bday present? Either one, that was way too late. Wanted to told her to forget it, no need to waste money or rather no need to waste effort, juz fuck it. Since i already bought a watch that i liked. Anyway, not interested. There were so many things she din know coz she never like to listen, juz tok and tok and tok, kept cutting off wat i wanna say. Though i loved being a listener, but i juz being forever a listener.. It's all abt give and take..
Juz like how she do not know how tough life is working in a war.
Juz like how she do not know i bought myself a new HP.
Juz like how she do not know i bought myself a new watch.
Juz like how she do not know how much i'm suffering from silent lonesome despite attached.
Juz like how she do not know i've not been flirting around despite being given so much freedom and yet being so alone.
Juz like how she do not know how i hated gals working nite life to be my partner.
Juz like how she do not know how i've been cracking my brain when we gonna be forced out of our house despite those troublesome hassle that had to be dealed with..
Juz two words, life sux.. Well, come to think of it. I'm still starting the cold war.. I'm not gonna call her at all. Waste time and money only. I as well use that time and effort to close more deals. I'm more in need of money than love..
Been a bit into mac lately.. Trying to turn my comp into a mac.. Tired sia by doing research.. =.=" Then somemore the file downloaded cannot be used.. zZzZzZzZz.. Little sis also said she wanna get a mac coz my compaq notebook seems to breaking down soon..
Shag.. Think going to slp soon.. Tml off, think will upgrade my desktop to vista ultimate..
Juz like how she do not know how tough life is working in a war.
Juz like how she do not know i bought myself a new HP.
Juz like how she do not know i bought myself a new watch.
Juz like how she do not know how much i'm suffering from silent lonesome despite attached.
Juz like how she do not know i've not been flirting around despite being given so much freedom and yet being so alone.
Juz like how she do not know how i hated gals working nite life to be my partner.
Juz like how she do not know how i've been cracking my brain when we gonna be forced out of our house despite those troublesome hassle that had to be dealed with..
Juz two words, life sux.. Well, come to think of it. I'm still starting the cold war.. I'm not gonna call her at all. Waste time and money only. I as well use that time and effort to close more deals. I'm more in need of money than love..
Been a bit into mac lately.. Trying to turn my comp into a mac.. Tired sia by doing research.. =.=" Then somemore the file downloaded cannot be used.. zZzZzZzZz.. Little sis also said she wanna get a mac coz my compaq notebook seems to breaking down soon..
Shag.. Think going to slp soon.. Tml off, think will upgrade my desktop to vista ultimate..
09 March, 2009
Friday, as promised for Cyndi. Went to QB with brandon and jason.. Supposed to open a Martell for her but in the end did not.. Coz Brenda took out Richard's balance and my balance. Total add up almost 3/4 liao.. Tried pia and drank till drop, but unable to finish them all.. =.=" Stayed till 4am+..
Sat went down again but this time alone.. Lolx.. Carol came thereafter her work after 12am. Then jason came after his session with seb they all but jason went off early coz he said he tired.. Carol also went off soon after.. I stayed all the way till my songs came.. 4.30am.. =.="
Sun went down to coffeeshop with acer, gateway and dell for a short drink.. Tok cock alot with me almost dozing off. =.=" Damn shag.. Steven still say wanna go boat quay for 2nd round.. Lolx.. Anyway, also stay all the way till abt 4am..
SHAG!!!!
Roadshow doing full shift all the way since tue till sun.. Then still got drinking sessions.. Haiz.. Think health is getting worse.. Dunno on wed or thurs, had a row with her.. Actually not really a row lah.. My recept is poor with my bluetooth on then she kept unable to hear clearly then throw her tantrums on me. Knn i disable liao and call her back then she said she dun wan to tok liao. Thus till now i never called her at all. For wat? I rather call Cyndi and disturb her..
Xiaoling is so amused by cyndi's tongue stud but disgusted by the sound she made as she kept using the stud to rub her teeth.. Lolx.. It's nothing new to me anyway.. Her tattoo on her lowerback is so similar to my ex.. Yeah those wings.. Jason still disturb me saying i miss the 'tattoo-feeling'.. Well, in a way yes. Anyway, been sleeping alone for so many mths liao, used to it le.. Since last yr i think. Anyway, not impt lah. Sales been pretty bad.. Even with the roadshow.. Only managed to close 44 sets for the roadshow.. I'm really a roadshow-flop.. Though everyday reached early and did best to close the 1st set but on sat i did roti-prata during the roadshow though on top got abt 10sets.. Roti-prata means zero. =.=" Then sun own-goal so many, 3 sony, 2 acer, 2 lenovo and 1 gateway got stolen but din get back coz he served long time liao while i got bitten by a snake.. ZzZzZzZz..
Unable to see the future.. Seems like it's getting harder and harder to work liao.. Haiz.. Have to endure.. The good ole times will come again.. Heard pay will be delayed. Diao.. Ever since i started working this is the 2nd time liao.. =.=" Heard that Terry cannot tahan liao.. But his sales there is as good as mine.. But maybe the people there not as good as mine.. Over here i've got splendid colleagues and friends, even customers.. Afterall, good services rendered aren't for nothing.. Juz like that day at vivo look-see for the roadshow and my customer recognised me, the one who bought the DV3605TX from me. Nice lady. Customer database might be quite an impt factor of the community for the future to come..
Bike haven't got back yet still under repairs.. But when get back liao also cannot do hair le.. Lolx.. Aiya doing sales, appearance also a factor lor.. Juz like how i see a flop-but-chio-gal can close a deal even if the cust dun wanna buy de.. I meant perfume here.. lolx.. Anyway, i still got a long way to learn.. Knowledge of products is not the main but the technique of closing.. Juz like how two of my colleagues who know so little abt computers and yet they can close deals like nobody's business and get so high pay.. One of them is aiming skill, the other is hardwork.. But actually both had both.. Imagine they are like me dilly-dally kept nua-ing and expect my sales can be better than all brands.. =.=" When i see how steven closes all his deals on sun really got me nothing to say.. 23 sets per day is not yet the best for him.. Even gateway can close several sets despite the branding not strong.. Whereas my brand is quite strong but i flop and also only closed a few deals.. I think i need to wake up.. If not my gross gonna drop below 2k liao if i go on like that........
Sat went down again but this time alone.. Lolx.. Carol came thereafter her work after 12am. Then jason came after his session with seb they all but jason went off early coz he said he tired.. Carol also went off soon after.. I stayed all the way till my songs came.. 4.30am.. =.="
Sun went down to coffeeshop with acer, gateway and dell for a short drink.. Tok cock alot with me almost dozing off. =.=" Damn shag.. Steven still say wanna go boat quay for 2nd round.. Lolx.. Anyway, also stay all the way till abt 4am..
SHAG!!!!
Roadshow doing full shift all the way since tue till sun.. Then still got drinking sessions.. Haiz.. Think health is getting worse.. Dunno on wed or thurs, had a row with her.. Actually not really a row lah.. My recept is poor with my bluetooth on then she kept unable to hear clearly then throw her tantrums on me. Knn i disable liao and call her back then she said she dun wan to tok liao. Thus till now i never called her at all. For wat? I rather call Cyndi and disturb her..
Xiaoling is so amused by cyndi's tongue stud but disgusted by the sound she made as she kept using the stud to rub her teeth.. Lolx.. It's nothing new to me anyway.. Her tattoo on her lowerback is so similar to my ex.. Yeah those wings.. Jason still disturb me saying i miss the 'tattoo-feeling'.. Well, in a way yes. Anyway, been sleeping alone for so many mths liao, used to it le.. Since last yr i think. Anyway, not impt lah. Sales been pretty bad.. Even with the roadshow.. Only managed to close 44 sets for the roadshow.. I'm really a roadshow-flop.. Though everyday reached early and did best to close the 1st set but on sat i did roti-prata during the roadshow though on top got abt 10sets.. Roti-prata means zero. =.=" Then sun own-goal so many, 3 sony, 2 acer, 2 lenovo and 1 gateway got stolen but din get back coz he served long time liao while i got bitten by a snake.. ZzZzZzZz..
Unable to see the future.. Seems like it's getting harder and harder to work liao.. Haiz.. Have to endure.. The good ole times will come again.. Heard pay will be delayed. Diao.. Ever since i started working this is the 2nd time liao.. =.=" Heard that Terry cannot tahan liao.. But his sales there is as good as mine.. But maybe the people there not as good as mine.. Over here i've got splendid colleagues and friends, even customers.. Afterall, good services rendered aren't for nothing.. Juz like that day at vivo look-see for the roadshow and my customer recognised me, the one who bought the DV3605TX from me. Nice lady. Customer database might be quite an impt factor of the community for the future to come..
Bike haven't got back yet still under repairs.. But when get back liao also cannot do hair le.. Lolx.. Aiya doing sales, appearance also a factor lor.. Juz like how i see a flop-but-chio-gal can close a deal even if the cust dun wanna buy de.. I meant perfume here.. lolx.. Anyway, i still got a long way to learn.. Knowledge of products is not the main but the technique of closing.. Juz like how two of my colleagues who know so little abt computers and yet they can close deals like nobody's business and get so high pay.. One of them is aiming skill, the other is hardwork.. But actually both had both.. Imagine they are like me dilly-dally kept nua-ing and expect my sales can be better than all brands.. =.=" When i see how steven closes all his deals on sun really got me nothing to say.. 23 sets per day is not yet the best for him.. Even gateway can close several sets despite the branding not strong.. Whereas my brand is quite strong but i flop and also only closed a few deals.. I think i need to wake up.. If not my gross gonna drop below 2k liao if i go on like that........
03 March, 2009
Juz back from Whiskey Bar and QB Bar... Ya again drank until so late.. i juz feel like drinking lor... At 1st only at coffeeshop coz got colleagues quarrel.. Suddenly juz swap over to BQ and reached there QB almost full house so we went whiskey.. Played pool kept getting wall-snook.. =.= Anyway, when we almost done before going over to QB for 1 last jug, i went toilet.. On the way there past the pool table, suddenly got stopped.. Got a cute gal ask the player to drink but since i'm beside him, i also gana.. =.=" Then she said she only worked on fri, sat and sun so she gave me her number and told to go drink on friday.. Diao.. So easily i was hooked. lolx.. Well, afterall i'm such an anything guy mah.. ZzZzZzZzZz.. She kept emphasising me to come on friday.. =.=" Quite ok lah.. made in singapore de.. Quite cute.. Figure not bad also..
My bad again.. Though i'm still home alone.. Anyway, i'm juz a so anything guy.. Anyone who managed to get a little close to me, sure got chance de.. I juz dunno how to reject.. Lolx.. Somemore i'm in no status now.. Haha.. Aiya still nothing happened.. Toking abt it, botak seems to have a chance with one of gal who trying to fake drunk.. WTF lor.. Whoever also knew she faking it.. Anyway, he managed to steal a kiss.. Lolx.. Unlike me, always accomplished nothing.. Was it really that i dare not or i juz dun wan to..? Juz like how daring i am to straight telling xiaoling how beautiful she is directly on her face.. Somemore, a few times not juz once.. Ok i admit i'm over liao.. A bit drunk leh though only high..
Jialat lah report haven't do and yet this whole wk doing full shift from 11am till 10pm.. I requested it though by right rotating shift... I juz dun wan too much time on hand.. To make myself think so much despite suppressing it.. I thot i might broke down anytime but seems to be staying strong like i always do.. I juz dun anyhow play around when it comes to such.. Even though it's only a little, but there's still commitment and effort in it...
So, my planning was accurate afterall.. Planning to get a house with my mum's name instead of with wife's name.. No matter what, i want my own house with no liabilities.. House more impt than car.. At least this is an asset, car is not.. Though bike is dangerous but i believe i will be ten times more careful when i got back my bike.. Well, that's me, myself and i.. Crap.. I'm still me.. Emo-ing kept coming back upon removal of mask when there's no one knowing me around me.. Sibei tired.. Sibei sian.. Sibei shag..
My bad again.. Though i'm still home alone.. Anyway, i'm juz a so anything guy.. Anyone who managed to get a little close to me, sure got chance de.. I juz dunno how to reject.. Lolx.. Somemore i'm in no status now.. Haha.. Aiya still nothing happened.. Toking abt it, botak seems to have a chance with one of gal who trying to fake drunk.. WTF lor.. Whoever also knew she faking it.. Anyway, he managed to steal a kiss.. Lolx.. Unlike me, always accomplished nothing.. Was it really that i dare not or i juz dun wan to..? Juz like how daring i am to straight telling xiaoling how beautiful she is directly on her face.. Somemore, a few times not juz once.. Ok i admit i'm over liao.. A bit drunk leh though only high..
Jialat lah report haven't do and yet this whole wk doing full shift from 11am till 10pm.. I requested it though by right rotating shift... I juz dun wan too much time on hand.. To make myself think so much despite suppressing it.. I thot i might broke down anytime but seems to be staying strong like i always do.. I juz dun anyhow play around when it comes to such.. Even though it's only a little, but there's still commitment and effort in it...
So, my planning was accurate afterall.. Planning to get a house with my mum's name instead of with wife's name.. No matter what, i want my own house with no liabilities.. House more impt than car.. At least this is an asset, car is not.. Though bike is dangerous but i believe i will be ten times more careful when i got back my bike.. Well, that's me, myself and i.. Crap.. I'm still me.. Emo-ing kept coming back upon removal of mask when there's no one knowing me around me.. Sibei tired.. Sibei sian.. Sibei shag..
02 March, 2009
Juz back from QB.. Nothing much there.. Xiaoling not working, brenda not working, xiaocui not working, stacey not working.. But ok lah, i juz wanna try to make myself a bit drunk.. Coz this time really almost the end of story liao.. Closing the book with the final chapter, the cold war.. If a year's relation were to end that easily, then that will be nothing.. I kept telling myself i dun put in much effort, i kept showing ppl i not interested and doesn't really care much but still inside i do feel the pain.. Pain is inevitable.. No pain is bluff.. Afterall, one year is not too short nor too long but every single of them i really give it all or at least 80%.. Not easy not to give anything.. Coz i'm still a human..
Even though things gonna really end, fault lies on me this time. I will bear no grudges nor hatred.. Juz let it go.. Maybe i still prefer singular lifestyle than to restrictions.. But came to think of it, it's becoz there's not much restrictions that's y things still do happened.. To be frank, i rather got tied down by someone.. Or at least she will go down together and of coz i will behave.. lolx.. Anyway, why do such things happened? Juz like how come her husband will still go down to geylang despite they are married for two years? Anyway, no outcome forseen. I still got a future while she still got her husband. What's not meant to be, no point going on to be to make things work..
Well, i'm not looking in one yet in the meantime so that i can fool around while i still can.. Lolx.. Quite uneasy to do that when being attached.. Afterall, there's a commitment there.. A responsiblity.. For like 9 mths i've been so guai.. It's so unlike me when i'm single.. Life only lives once, so be it..
Knn why i so emo today.. Conclusion has not been resolved and reviewed yet.. No conclusion yet during amber timing.. A week at most bah..
Went for short holiday with jason and gang. Nothing much.. Din really enjoy or rather felt quite a waste of money and time.. Spent abt 300 total, actually i rather use it for taiwan trip or even thailand.. Sigh.. Bought a 3-quarter pants quite nice and a 'levis-material-jacket'. Also several 'cosmetics' lolx.. Oh ya and some undergarments.. Dawn still curious to see what kind of garments i buy when i met up with her on the day i back at vivo.. =.=" Still as attractive as usual that aroused so many eyes on her.. lolx.. Together went over to catch zhiwei with his daughter and wife.. Lolx.. Dawn told me he denied his child on msn with her.. Anyway, met up liao then everything blow liao lor.. Aiya married liao still wan to play meh.. Some wife quite nice also mah.. ZzZzZzZzZz.. Dunno wat he thinking..
Wah computer totally diff from last time liao.. Speed much more faster.. When reached home on computer then get changed, i haven't even changed finish it reaches windows liao.. =.=" Last time still can go pee back and it's almost done.. =.=" Anyway, quite satisfied with it, in fact i'm happy with it..
Even though things gonna really end, fault lies on me this time. I will bear no grudges nor hatred.. Juz let it go.. Maybe i still prefer singular lifestyle than to restrictions.. But came to think of it, it's becoz there's not much restrictions that's y things still do happened.. To be frank, i rather got tied down by someone.. Or at least she will go down together and of coz i will behave.. lolx.. Anyway, why do such things happened? Juz like how come her husband will still go down to geylang despite they are married for two years? Anyway, no outcome forseen. I still got a future while she still got her husband. What's not meant to be, no point going on to be to make things work..
Well, i'm not looking in one yet in the meantime so that i can fool around while i still can.. Lolx.. Quite uneasy to do that when being attached.. Afterall, there's a commitment there.. A responsiblity.. For like 9 mths i've been so guai.. It's so unlike me when i'm single.. Life only lives once, so be it..
Knn why i so emo today.. Conclusion has not been resolved and reviewed yet.. No conclusion yet during amber timing.. A week at most bah..
Went for short holiday with jason and gang. Nothing much.. Din really enjoy or rather felt quite a waste of money and time.. Spent abt 300 total, actually i rather use it for taiwan trip or even thailand.. Sigh.. Bought a 3-quarter pants quite nice and a 'levis-material-jacket'. Also several 'cosmetics' lolx.. Oh ya and some undergarments.. Dawn still curious to see what kind of garments i buy when i met up with her on the day i back at vivo.. =.=" Still as attractive as usual that aroused so many eyes on her.. lolx.. Together went over to catch zhiwei with his daughter and wife.. Lolx.. Dawn told me he denied his child on msn with her.. Anyway, met up liao then everything blow liao lor.. Aiya married liao still wan to play meh.. Some wife quite nice also mah.. ZzZzZzZzZz.. Dunno wat he thinking..
Wah computer totally diff from last time liao.. Speed much more faster.. When reached home on computer then get changed, i haven't even changed finish it reaches windows liao.. =.=" Last time still can go pee back and it's almost done.. =.=" Anyway, quite satisfied with it, in fact i'm happy with it..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)